(isabella point of view)
"i hate morning sickness" i groaned walking back to giselle's room and laying on her bed.
"trust me i understand what you're going through." giselle said cutting out the mini ultrasound pictures of the baby so we can attach it to the invitations for the gender reveal.
we were supposed to do it once we got the genders but i've been so sick lately and with coming back from italy i haven't had any energy to do anything.
so we postponed it until i hit 16 weeks and a couple days.
which is in about nine days so we are very behind.
"i can't wait for you to have your babies, do you know how excited esme is gonna be?" giselle squealed.
"i think you are the one who's excited." i teased her.
"so have you thought about if you're gonna move out?" giselle asked me.
"i know we talked about it but when i brought it up to javon he made some very clear points on why we should stay here." i started.
"we'll have so much help, our families will be close with the babies, plus he's going to be so busy with working and he doesn't want me to think that i'm alone in this." i told her.
"to be completely honest with you, i didn't think it was a good idea for you to move out either. i say unless you absolutely have to then move out." she stopped cutting and focused on me
"bella no matter what you know you will always have family, you're kids are going to be so loved by everyone." she smiled a sweet smile at me.
"i just get worried. i don't want my kids to think their daddy couldn't be there for them, that's probably my biggest fear." i tell her.
"javon would do anything for his kids, and i don't want them to ever questions if their daddy actually loves them." i run my fingers through my hair. or i thought.
"you won't let that ever happen." she said and pulled me into a hug
"bella! giselle!" we heard my mom call from the kitchen.
"moms been such a germaphobe lately." i sighed walking out the room and to the kitchen.
giselle just shrugged her shoulders.
"what did i tell you girls about the kitchen?" my mom said and she looked mad.
"this kitchen always needs to be clean, i don't care about the rest of the house but this kitchen is the one room that needs to be clean."
"mom that's not even dirty" i expressed.
"bella, open your eyes. there's a mess in the sink and the counter." she said.
"there's like ten dishes in the sink and a bag of food on the counter." i said.
"isabella ca-" my mom started
"okay, i'll clean them." i said going to the sink and turning on the water.
"i'm sorry you guys, im just stressed out." mom said sighting and taking a seat on a chair.
"why what's wrong?" giselle asked leaning on the counter.
"ella go upstairs and play with your toys in your room." mom told ella who was in front of the coffee table and playing with a puzzle.
"okay mommy." she said and happily skipped her way upstairs.
"i can't keep up with the bills." mom sighed
"what do you mean? if you can't afford it mom i'll pay for them, i don't mind at all." i said thinking the worst
"no it's not that, i can afford them, i just can't keep up when they're due. your papa always dealt with it so i just forget." she said.
"i'll pay them for you." i offered, i don't want my mom to be stressed, especially about bills.
"no i have an unspoken promise with papa that i'll take care of you." she disagreed.
"mom i'll use your card to pay for them if it's a big deal, i just don't want you to stress." i compromise.
she nodded and agreed.
"when is javon getting back?" mom asked.
"in 2 days. which sucks cause we still have to get outfits for the gender reveal." i sighed in annoyance.
my hormones get the best of me sometimes and i just get so frustrated that i tell them i don't want a gender reveal.
but i already paid some girl to do the balloons and cake.
and i paid an employee at party city to do the confetti cannons and ill just buy them while they get them for me.
so all that is taken care of.
*****
(third person point of view)
the amount of stress that isabella been feeling is definitely not healthy for the babies
it's 4 days before the gender reveal and javon just got called for a job for the next two days and he leaves tonight.
"javon you can't do it." isabella stressed to him.
"i'll be back in time for the gender reveal." javon said.
"that doesn't matter there's still things we need to do." she grabbed his phone from his hand.
"you can't just dump all this on me." she stressed.
he doesn't understand why she's this mad about it. he already told her he's not going to be able to be there for every little moment.
"this is what i told you, there's some sacrifices i have to make." he said putting his shirts in his bag.
"this isn't a sacrifice, you don't have to go. you literally offered" why can't he just see how much this means to her and understand.
(javon point of view)
"bella i told you before, this is my career." i argued with her.
this isn't something that was not discussed, we talked about it and she understood. i have a job that requires me to not be there for half the time.
"this is your family." she starts to tear up a little.
i hate seeing my girl this way.
but she'll understand.
"isabella i have to go." i said starting to get annoyed.
"then go." she wiped a tear that lingered down to her neck.
"i don't understand why this is making you this upset." i told her.
"okay." she nodded her head.
"i don't want anything to do with you anymore then." she crossed her arms over herself and took Noodles off her lap.
i lightly shook my head.
"your not serious." i said
"you don't mean that." i said in disbelief.
"if you can't see why your babies gender reveal is more important that this interview or whatever, that you offered to do, then there's no point in trying with you." she wiped away all the tears that were prominent on her cheeks.
"isabella i have to go." i yelled tired of this argument.
"then go." she yelled back
i realized that yelling isn't the way to go so i went to her to give her a kiss before i leave for a couple of days.
she moved her face and told me to leave.
"bella please, don't be dramatic." i sighed.
"dramatic ? is that what i am ? because i want you to be there for your kids, when they get older and i show them old memories and they ask 'where's daddy?' then you explain to them how there's more important things." she scoffed and stood up off the bed.
"i'm too tired to do this right now." i grabbed my bag and started walking out her room.
"i love you i'll be back soon." i told her.
"don't come back i don't love you." she said.
"bella." i turned around as i opened the door.
"i'm being serious javon, don't come back."
"i said i don't want anything to do with you." she said and looked at me like she was waiting for me to leave.
"you don't mean that." i shook my head and walked out the door.
"i really mean it, bye." she said and shut the door in my face and locked it.
she's not serious.
*********
(isabella point of view)
"how you been?" Jessica asked me.
javon left yesterday. it hasn't hit me yet. in the heat of the moment i was just so mad, but i stand my ground.
"fine." i said bending down and picking up the trash from the grass.
we're outside cleaning the backyard so we don't have to do it the day of the gender reveal.
when we finish picking up everything dj is going to mow the lawn.
"bella go inside. we'll do this." my mom called out.
"im perfectly fine helping." i said.
they keep looking at me like im a ticking time bomb.
i don't understand what there problem is, whatever happened happened between me and javon not everyone else.
it's not like we aren't going to see each other again, we are literally having babies together.
and whatever happens isn't going to effect our love for our babies.
i do really think they need to just mind there business and not tell me how i should feel.
"bella you shouldn't be bending down like that." jessica said.
"i'm not disabled" i responded trying not to let anyone frustrate me even more.
i've been nauseous and throwing up since 4am, and im really not in the mood for anything.
i throw the trash in a bag before getting a smell of something that smells like sour grass.
i can feel the intense pressure of throw up coming and i rush inside to get to the bathroom.
i barely make it and begin throwing up the same amount that came out this morning.
"bella you okay ?" mom asked me with her a jessica standing next to me.
tears flow my eyes like they usually do when i throw up
i shake my head no
"i don't wanna be pregnant anymore." i cry.
"i don't wanna keep doing this." i say and wipe my face with the towel my mom gives me.
"i know" my mom said and kisses the back of my head.
"i keep thinking if i even want these kids" i admit
"and that scares me that i think that way, what if im just not a good mom." i never wanted to admit it but that's what i think all the time.
"i understand what you're going through, i felt that way when i was pregnant with javon and jaden." jessica rubbed my back.
"most of the time i just didn't want to be pregnant anymore, and i thought if i just liked the idea of having twins and not actually loving them." she admitted .
"but when i saw them right after i gave birth, i loved them more then anything. i knew i would do anything for them and jayla." she looked at me.
"it's really hard, but i promise you. it's going to be worth everything you're going through." jessica reassured me
i nodded my head and got off the floor with their help.
"you haven't ate." my mom said.
"ima make you some food." she said as jessica took my to the couch and gave me a blanket while i wait.
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authors note: hi guys
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