CHAPTER TWELVE - DREAMS
During her drug-fueled, almost comatose state, Davina's dreams became highly vivid. At first, they started out plain and boring, then extended to frightening. She relived the moment she killed a man over and over again. The same images repeated themselves, and she was left screaming in her dream, covered in another human's blood.
She tried to escape the situation before it happened, but each time, she was thrown back to the Motel room with a knife in her hand.
Her worst vivid dream was the last one before she roused from her slumber. The same scene played out, but with a knife in her hand, blood across her body and a man on the floor, except this time, it was Rick's body that lay before her.
She screamed and ran to his body, collapsing to the side of him. She begged and pleaded with him to wake up, to no avail. She sobbed into his blood-soaked chest.
"Dee, Dee! Davina!"
Davina shot awake with a scream; two hands were forcefully pressed against her shoulder. It took her some time to recognise the voice and the man who held her down.
"Daryl," she whispered.
"Jesus!" he hissed, removing his hands from her shoulders and shuffling away. "You scared me; you've been screaming for almost an hour; I thought the cops were going to be called."
Daryl was breathing heavily, and he stood with his hand clutched to his chest. He was unsteady on his feet and was covered by a thin layer of sweat.
"I'm sorry," Davina said as she kneeled on the bed, "dream got a bit," she paused, "intense."
Daryl sighed and closed his eyes, "it's okay. Just don't scare me like that again."
_____
Pointless gossip often did its rounds at the Police Station; more often than not, it was about staff-on-staff relationships, but occasionally, the more notable of the locals got a mention by the gaggle of staff that enjoyed gossiping while sipping their morning coffee.
Since agreeing to light duties, Rick found himself stuck in the station for the majority of the day. He was moved from evening and night shifts to morning and daytime shifts. He had hated the change, but it was allowing his body to work its way into a better sleeping pattern. But even so, he only slept two to three hours a night.
He sat alone in the small cafeteria, drinking his coffee. He wasn't particularly listening to any of the hushed conversations around him and hadn't noticed a group of officers staring and whispering until a particular name was mentioned.
"...well anyway, that Davina and Daryl have supposedly got themselves into a bit of trouble with that one guy; what's his name, Jimmy? The one who deals heroin," he heard one voice say.
"And Davina is the one that Officer Grimes was paying to have sex with?" another said in shock.
He heard them snigger and look towards him. They were shocked to see his eyes dark and jumped slightly when he rose from his chair and approached them.
"Where do you get your information from?" Rick snapped.
The two women and a man lowered their heads in shame for being caught in the act.
"Well?" Rick snapped, drawing attention to himself.
"M-my son used to go to school with Jimmy," the older of the women began. She cleared her throat before continuing, "we were shopping, and we saw Jimmy, and not long after, Daryl Dixon turned up. He hurried him off down an alleyway. I know he deals and what he deals, we all do, so I just assumed-"
Rick cut her off, "yes, you assumed," he snapped. "Same as you assumed I paid Davina for sex. Is it beyond all of you," he shouted, looking around the room. Suddenly, he directed his speech to everyone there. "That people make mistakes and that not all are impossible to return from."
He stormed out of the cafeteria, hearing the onslaught of people whispering as he left. He knew they would only gossip more, but he was angry and needed to let it out.
He left the station without informing his superiors and drove away in one of the police cars.
He didn't want to believe what people were saying about Davina and Daryl using drugs, but he wanted to find out the truth himself.
_____
"Thanks, I appreciate it. Can you pass on a message to him for me?" Daryl asked.
He held his phone to his ear, chewing his thumb as he listened to the caller's response.
"Just tell him not to worry because I know he will be, but," he paused and focused his gaze on Davina, "tell him Davina and I are okay, and we will visit him soon."
Davina cried as Daryl ended the call.
"17 years," was all he said before pulling her into a hug.
"What have I done?" she cried into his chest. "That should be me. I killed him, I killed him!" she screamed.
Daryl couldn't pull her any closer if he tried, "stop it; Merle knew what he was doing. Knowing him, he will have the time of his life in there. It would be best if you stopped this. Every single one of us has made mistakes; we are all done for if it's found out he's lying."
"It should be me," she wept. "I never should have let him take the blame."
"Come on, lay down," Daryl said while attempting to guide her to his bed.
"No," she said quickly. "I want more; give me more."
Daryl shook his head, "no, Davina. We said no more. You're free; you've escaped it all. You need to make all of this worth it. We need to fight the addiction and move on from this. You need to get clean and go back to that woman and start again with the programme."
Davina wiped her eyes, "just one last hit, please," she begged.
Daryl thought about it for a moment. Unlike Davina, he didn't crave the drug. He knew many assumed that once you took heroin, you instantly became addicted, but he didn't. He enjoyed the high it gave him, but he knew he wasn't reliant upon the drug.
Whereas Davina craved it again and again, and he knew it would be a difficult road ahead for her to quit using the drug.
"This is the last one. I won't be supplying you with any more. I need to get away from this shit myself. One more hit, and then you are done, okay?"
Davina nodded her head rapidly and began to prepare the heroin to inject.
"Here," she whispered as she pulled back the last of the drug into the syringe. She tried to pass Daryl a syringe and held her own in her hand.
"No, I don't-" Daryl began, pushing her hand away, but she insisted.
"Please, just come with me. Just this once and then never again, I promise."
Daryl sighed and carefully took the syringe from between her fingers.
They sat down together on the edge of the bed, with one knee bent upwards and their foot perched on the edge.
Together, they injected themselves before laying back on the bed. Daryl automatically rolled to his side, but Davina swayed as she fell back, causing her to lie crooked.
_____
Rick parked up in front of the familiar house. It looked just as rundown and decrepit as the last time he was there.
He exited the car and made a beeline for the porch. He tried to peek through the filth-covered windows before knocking hard against the door.
He knocked half a dozen times, becoming annoyed that the house was seemingly empty.
Rick wanted desperately to see Davina, just to make sure she was okay and to prove the rumours wrong, even if it risked making her angry at him.
Rick knocked once more before he tried the handle. He found that it was unlocked and opened the door slowly. "Hello?" he called out cautiously. "Davina?"
Rick stepped inside. The house was dark and smelt of stale beer and cigarettes. He crept along the room, noticing a coffee table covered in beer and vodka bottles.
Rick's eyes drifted to the back of the couch, where a familiar dark red dress lay neatly. It was the only piece of colour in the entire room.
As he reached his hand out to touch the fabric, he heard a sound. A cough almost.
He turned his body quickly and made his way towards the sound. It continued as he walked, and suddenly, it sounded desperate. He quickened his pace and barged through the door at the far end of the corridor.
He was quickly hit with the smell of vomit as his eyes darted around the room.
His heart dropped when he saw Davina lying on the bed, choking on her own vomit. Daryl was laid beside her but appeared to be in a deep sleep.
"No, no, no," he panicked, running towards her body. He tugged her quickly to lay on her side as she choked, spluttering, gagging and spraying vomit onto the bed and floor. "Come on, Davina, don't do this to me," he begged.
Rick had seen similar situations before, and he knew that often, users were not lucky enough to be found in time and would die choking on their vomit.
He moved her sweat and vomit-drenched hair from her face, willing for her to give him some sign of life as her choking stopped.
"Come on, come on," he cried, rubbing his hand up and down her back while the other pulled her eyelids apart to check her pupils. "Come on, that's it," he sighed in relief when he heard her take a sharp breath in.
Davina remained unconscious, and Rick was desperate to call for assistance. Still, he knew if he did that, both Davina and Daryl would be in serious trouble and could face a prison sentence for possession of a class A drug and drug paraphernalia.
Once again, he was taking a considerable risk to help a woman who so quickly abandoned him after he had done so much for her.
He double-checked that Daryl was okay and propped pillows behind his back to keep him on his side before he picked Davina up and carried her to the police car. He laid her down on the back seat and closed the door.
Rick sat in the driver seat and was about to drive off, but he realised when Daryl woke up, he would be wandering where Davina was. He took out his notebook and scribbled across the page before tearing it out and jogging back into the house.
He left the note on the bed beside Daryl and quickly made his leave, but not before eyeing up the stray needles that littered the bedside.
_____
Rick eventually returned to the police station after he took Davina back to his house. He had cleaned her up and dressed her in clean clothes before laying her on her side in his bed, repeating what he had done for Daryl and putting pillows behind her back to stop her from rolling.
He didn't want to leave her, but by the time he had completed what he set out to do, it was two hours past when he shift should've ended, and he still had to return to the police car and face the onslaught from his colleagues for vanishing without a single word.
"Where the hell have you been?" Sheriff Oldham bellowed when Rick walked through the door of the offices. The older man stood tall with a scowl across his face. "In my office, now," he ordered.
Rick followed the man inside his office, ignoring the stares and whispers from behind him as he closed the door behind them. Rick remained rooted to the spot near the door, awaiting the tongue-lashing.
"Officer Grimes, you can't just leave halfway through a shift after the scene you caused in the cafeteria! Not only that, but you left with one of our vehicles. Explain yourself?"
Rick swallowed hard, expecting to be fired come to the end of the conversation. He didn't believe there was any excuse he could give that would be good enough for the stern man before him.
"I-I can only apologise for my actions. In the heat of the moment, I lost it, and I removed myself from the situation. I know I shouldn't have left without informing someone, and I know that under no circumstances should I have taken the car without permission beforehand."
Sheriff Oldham sighed, "where did you go?" he asked in a softer but still firm tone. Rick was one of his best officers, and while he would never tell Rick, his performance just then was mainly an act for the many eyes that stared through the glass window of his office.
"Sir, I-" Rick searched his mind for an excuse, but they all sounded ridiculous or could easily be seen through.
Sheriff Oldham took a seat at his desk and gestured for Rick to sit before him. "Is this about the prostitute?"
Rick cringed; he hated that everyone referred to Davina as a prostitute. It was as though no one could see beyond her being paid for sex.
"I will take your reaction as a confirmation," Sheriff Oldham began. "Rick, I know you've been going through something that has taken your mind off the job. I've tried to be patient, and I've tried to shut down any gossip I hear. I wasn't pleased at all when I heard that you had been having relations with that woman, but at the end of the day, If you didn't pay for her, then it is no different from me having sex with my wife."
Rick furrowed his brows as his superior spoke, unsure of what direction the conversation was heading.
"I just need you to be honest with me. I cannot put the recommendation of your being Sheriff forward if you cannot speak the truth."
Rick sunk further into the chair and wiped his brow with his hand, "after I heard the gossip, I was angry and upset. I haven't seen Davina in months. I tried. I really did try to forget about her and put it in the past, but I can't."
The Sheriff nodded in understanding.
"They claimed that she was using drugs. She's been through so much, and I know she desperately wanted to be a part of the rehabilitation programme. I just wanted to prove them wrong, but," Rick paused.
"But it's true, she has been using drugs," Sheriff Oldham finished. "I am informed of any failed drug tests by Michonne. She was really quite upset to find that Davina had failed her second one."
Rick furrowed his brows, learning information he hadn't known.
He was proud of Davina for going through with the programme but saddened that she had failed. He promised himself that he would make sure she got clean and continued with the programme, and no matter how hard she tried to push him away, he would push harder to keep her by his side.
"From my experience, once someone has a label pinned above their head, it stays there forever. We have both seen people turn their lives around. Even locally, we have ex-drug dealers and drug users now working full-time jobs, passing every drug test thrown at them, and some prostitutes get themselves out of the game and settle down."
Rick picked at his fingers as his superior spoke. He knew there was truth in his words. There were thousands of people across the world who worked hard to get out of bad situations.
"I'm going to tell you something, and it will most definitely shock you," Sheriff Oldham began, "my wife, Annie, you've met her?"
Rick nodded, "yes, she's lovely," he replied honestly.
Sheriff Oldham smiled, "yes she is, and to look at her or talk to her would you ever assume she had been a heroin addict in the past?"
Rick raised his eyebrows, "of course not!"
"Well, she was," he replied matter of factly. "It was back when I worked in Seattle. We met on a normal night out. She came across just like anyone else, but she had secrets, a past, and just like Davina, she had labels over her head, given to her by judgemental bastards that couldn't be bothered to see the real her."
Rick listened in shock, "Is that why you moved here?"
Sheriff Oldham nodded, "yes, I paid for her rehab out of pocket; I held her hair back for days during her withdrawals. It was hard, one of the hardest things I've done, but I stuck by her because she was worth it. I saw more than those labels, and I know that occasionally, some people from our past will make it known that they know this big bad secret about her, but I don't care; she doesn't care because she left that part of her behind her."
A sense of realisation washed over Rick; he had never expected the Sheriff to let him into such a secret, and Rick would have never assumed that any of the information he gave was a part of his past.
He knew his situation was different compared to the Sheriffs. After all, he wasn't aware that she had murdered someone, and he had helped cover it up, but he understood the reason behind the conversation.
"Sir, what happens now?" Rick asked dubiously.
Sheriff Oldham shrugged his shoulders. "That's up to you. You can either take some time off work, prepare for the hard work you will need to put in to get Davina back on track, or you can forget she exists and pretend this conversation never happened. Just be thankful it's only cocaine; heroin withdrawal is a bastard."
Rick's eyes widened; for a moment, he assumed that Davina had failed her drug test because of heroin, and a part of him was glad that she didn't have the label - as the Sheriff put it - that she was a heroin user.
Rick sat up straight, "sir, I would like to request some leave."