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CW
Sexual innuendo near the end.
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//Third Person POV//
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Wilbur dropped the suitcase onto the bed and zipped it open.
"Do we really have to see your family every fucking Christmas?" Quackity groaned, pulling out their clothes from the dresser. Wilbur calmly sighed, glancing over at him, "Do you have to ask every year?" He cocked a brow as Quackity rolled his eyes.
"Every fucking year your brother tries to kill me, you bastard-" He huffed, closing the drawer with his hip. "And every year we go see your family your brother tries to sell me drugs," He smiled, not taking this seriously.
"He gets high with you, the fuck do you expect," Quackity blinked, "And I would just like to not go this year..." He sighed, folding his arms.
"I know darling, but I promise we won't hurt you," Wilbur smiled, packing the clothes Quackity had set on the bed.
"You said that last year," The duck blankly stated, "And the year before that... and the year before that... Oh and-"
"The year before that," Wilbur finished, rolling his eyes, "Well this time we're bringing the girls with us."
"Your point?" Quackity sighed, sitting on the bed.
"That he won't try to kill you in front of them," Wilbur smiled calmly.
"...He tried to kill me when Michael and Shroud were there," Quackity blinked, "And Yogurt-"
"Okay, okay- but we've all made a promise not to fucking traumatize them, right?"
"Your brother hates my actual guts- he said so at our mother fucking wedding," Quackity face palmed sighing when Wilbur went over to massage his shoulders, "Honey, it'll be okay~ why don't you go take a nice bath while I get everything else packed, we're not leaving for another four hours," He smiled calmly, easing Quackitys nerves a little.
He went off into the attached bathroom and ran the water when their bedroom door cracked open, "We're done!" Tallulah smiled as she poked her head in.
Wilbur smiled over at her, "Okay, bring them in here and we'll look them over, kay Lullah?" He hummed.
The dragon nodded and came back with her suitcase along with Tilin, they dropped them by the door and ran downstairs to watch TV.
The brunette shut the bedroom door and went back to packing when Quackity came out with the steam.
"Use all the hot water again?" Wilbur joked, glancing back at Quackity who rolled his eyes, "Mhm~ have fun with your cold showers, freak-"
"Heyy!" Wilbur chuckled, "I like cold showers 'cause of you-" He furrowed his brows but kept his bright smile. "Still weird~" Alex cooed, drying off before he set the towel on the bed and got dressed, "You almost done packing?" He questioned, putting on his sweater.
"Yep, we don't need that much- we're just there for the week."
"...Did you pack vodka?"
"I'm sure mum has some wine-" Wilbur sighed, looking over at Quackity, "Please~ do not get blackout drunk hon-"
"No promises~" He winked, going to check the girl's suitcases, "You have the costume?"
"Hm?" Wilbur hummed, shoving a shirt in, "What costume?"
"...The Santa one?" Quackity looked at him, "The one in the closet next to all the presents?"
"...God dammit-" Wilbur groaned, "Do I seriously have to wear that thing?"
Quackity laughed, zipping Tilin's suitcase up, "Yes. Yes you do, we don't want another killing Santa Clause bullshit again, hm?" He smirked, "Remember when you got shot in the damn arm?"
Wilbur sighed, "Yes- my fucking shoulder still hurts." He went over to the closet and grabbed the costume, "I hate this thing."
"I love it," Quackity chirped, wagging his tail.
Wilbur looked over at him and sighed, "I feel like you should have told me you have an old guy kink."
The room filled with laughter from Quackity, "I don't! I just like older guys, not old men-" He giggled, "I like me a silver fox~"
Wilbur stared at him blinking, "Uh-huh. I'm only 40-"
"So?" His husband got up and walked over to him, "I'm 37, also you're hot~" He winked making Wilbur smile softly, "Mmmm, well. Keep it in your pants, okay?"
"You're one to talk!"
The banter continued for a while until there was a small soft knock on the door, Wilbur hurried to shove the costume into the suitcase and Quackity went over to crack the door open, keeping the entrance blocked, "Yes, hija?" He smiled calmly.
"When are we going to Abuelo Phils?" Tallulah smiled up at her mother. "Just a few more hours, okay? We'll be out a minute, okay?"
"Okay, mama!" She smiled, hurrying back downstairs.
"CAREFUL!" He shouted down, sighing as he looked back at Wilbur, "We done?"
The taller nodded as he forced the luggage shut, "We can go down now," He hummed, pulling it off the bed and onto the floor, "Mind grabbing the girls'?"
Q shook his head and picked up the two smaller suitcases, opening the door more as he let Wilbur out, who ran down the stairs.
"...You're the fucking problem, I swear-" He groaned, walking down as everyone laughed.
"What can I say, I have an influence on people," Wilbur chuckled setting their suitcase by the door, "I used to slide down the banister and Tommy started to do the same... then broke his arm-"
Quackity just stared at him, "My point is proven-" He sighed, setting the cases by the other, going over to the living room to sit down.
After a few hours, everyone got loaded into the car and all the presents got packed up, and the drive began. "Are we there yet?" Tilin hummed, looking out the window.
"...We're not even out of the neighborhood, hon-" Quackity mumbled, sighing as he shook his head.
They were driving for a while, Quackity nearly fell asleep as they kept driving with soft Christmas music playing off the radio until the car came to a stop and the music turned off alerting Quackity that they were there... along with the kids screaming and jumping out of the car, "...Can I have the anxiety pill now-" He mumbled, looking over at Wilbur who was already opening the bottle, "Here you go, baby," He dropped two small pills into his hand and gave him his water bottle before getting out of the car to open the trunk.
"Thank you," Quackity murmured before downing the pills and a big gulp of water.
They grabbed everything and dragged it all up to the house where Tommy opened the door for them, "Hey, Big Q! Wilbur," He greeted.
"Why am I always second?" Wilbur blinked as he let Quackity in who chuckled. Wilbur set the presents down by the door and cracked his back.
"Because Quackity's my favorite," Tommy smiled, chuckling, "You need help?"
"Not from you," He hummed, "Where's Techno?" Wilbur looked around and noticed his husband flipping off his brother, "Oh god dammit-" He grumbled, "Hey, Techno!" He shouted, catching the piglin's attention, "Mind helping me out here, man?"
Techno nodded and got up from the couch and over to the front door.
They cracked the door behind them and Tommy went to the couch to sit next to Quackity, "Not every day you guys are the first here, even beat Tubbo and Ranboo," He hummed, yawning slightly.
"Yeah?" Alex chuckled, "Where's Shroud?" He looked around before noticing the small child running into the living room, "Hi!" He smiled, leaning on the couch, "Hi," Quackity smiled, "Where are my children."
"We're playing hide and seek!" Shroud smiled.
"...We've been here for a minute-" Quackity mumbled, blinking as Shroud shrugged going away to find Tiln and Tallulah.
Quackity and Tommy turned on a movie when Kristen came out with two glasses of wine glasses and a bottle of wine, "Hello, Alex," She smiled, going to sit down next to him.
"Hey," He smiled back, leaning back on the sofa.
"Wasn't expecting you two to be so early," She joked, opening the bottle as she poured some into the two glasses, handing one to Quackity.
"Thanks," He hummed, taking a small sip of wine when the front door opened up letting a gust of cold air inside, "AY! SHUT THE DOOR!" Tommy shouted, looking back at the front door when Tubbo, Ranboo, Michael, Wilbur, and Techno walked in.
"Mum! Heyyy!" Tubbo smiled, handing the presents to Ranboo so he could run over to his mom, "You're here before us-" He chuckled, "That's a first."
Quackity hummed chuckling to himself, "I know, how are you abeja?"
Wilbur set down most of the gifts while Techno took some upstairs, "I'm good, you and Techno going to be fighting this time?" He hummed, watching Q shake his head.
"Nope," He smiled, "It's going to be a normal fucking Christmas this year," He sighed, drinking more wine.
"Good."
Hours went by and the house filled with everyone one by one, all the kids were introduced to one another and then sat in front of the TV to watch Frosty the Snowman, whilst the adults were in the kitchen.
Quackity was sipping his eggnog, looking over at everyone as they got dinner set up.
"So, how have you two been?" Phil hummed, focusing on the food.
"Pretty good, we like... just got back from the States for this fucker, so-" Wilbur chuckled, motioning to Quackity. "We always go," He blinked.
"Hmmm, well, I'm sure it was lovely," Kristen smiled brightly, "Did your family like the girls?"
"I practically had to pry them away from my mom," He chuckled, sipping more eggnog.
"Well, I would say that's a good reaction."
Techno stayed in the corner of the kitchen, drinking his drink calmly, making sure he stayed away from Quackity.
The dinner table was set and everyone began eating, just waiting for everyone to be done so they could go to bed. Tommy put Shroud to bed and Ranboo put Michael to sleep before going to their rooms.
And Quackity and Wilbur put their kids to sleep, then proceeded to fall down on the bed face first, "I'm tiredd-" Quackity groaned, "Hate this squeaky ass bed-" He lowly growled.
"I know, baby," Wilbur hummed softly, sitting down next to him to rub his back, "It'll just be a week," He smiled calmly making Quackity groan louder, "I know, baby..."
He laid down next to his husband and cuddled him, "You're so pretty~" He whispered, kissing his cheek.
"Mmmm... when are you putting the presents out?" He muttered, turning around to shove his face into Wilbur's chest. "Later," He whispered, rubbing his back, "Maybe around 11, kay?"
Quackity nodded and yawned, resting his eyes as Wilbbur turned on the TV.
They watched TV for hours till Wilbur got up, making Quackity perk up and look over at him, "You putting on the costume~?" He giggled, slowly sitting up.
"No-" He mumbled, looking over at him. "Why not!"
"Because I don't want to," He mumbled, sighing as Quackity got up to hug him, "Pleasee~ papi~" He purred, rubbing his chest, "I'll come down with you~" He chirped, making Wilbur sigh, "Okay..." He mumbled, going to grab the outfit from the suitcase.
"Yayyy~" The duck giggled, wagging his tail.
"Why do you like old white men-"
"AY-"
Wilbur got dressed and left the beard off, looking over at Quackity, "Heyyy, where's your beard~?" He teased, wagging his tail.
"...Please no-" Wilbur mumbled, frowning. "Listen, I'm going down to get a snack, and I want you down all dressed up~" He winked, walking away.
"...How are you going to say you don't have an old guy kink when you're winking at me to put on a fucking saint nick costume-" He grumbled, putting the damn beard on, he grabbed the presents and marched downstairs, setting them down under the tree, moving them around to look pretty.
"Ooh~ look at you~" He purred, walking over to Wilbur, chirping softly.
"Heyy," He rolled his eyes, looking back at Quackity as he hugged him, pressing his body very close to Wilburs, "Baby-" He mumbled, placing his hands on Quackity's hands.
"I love you, but please-" Wilbur looked back at him and sighed.
"I love you too~" He whispered, looking up at him as Wilbur turned around. "You gonna let me put these presents up or what?" He sighed.
"Well~ I'm feeling stressed... and you know what calms me down~" Quackity purred, wrapping his arms around Wilbur's neck, "Plus~ after you have some cookies and milk, I can have your milk~" He whispered into his ear making Wilbur blush, "Alex-" He mumbled,
"...What the fuck-" Tommy blinked, turning on the flashlight with all the kids.
"Ay! Tommy what the fu-" Quackity started, pushing Wilbur away from him when he noticed his children just staring at them.
'Oooh fuck me sideways, I did not want to fucking say that in front of them, oooh fuck-' Quackity thought to himself, folding his wings.
"...Mom..." Tallulah mumbled, looking at Wilbur then back at him, "...What are you doing with Santa-" She was clearly upset and so was Tilin.
Quackity blinked and looked at Wilbur then at the kids, "Uhm... we're just talking, hija," He smiled, pushing Wilbur away from him and over to the kids, "I'm making sure he got your presents~"
All the kids looked at each other while Wilbur snuck out the back.
"...Really?" Tilin blinked, staring at his mother, "Uh-huh. And he did so I gave him a big~ hug," He chirped, "Now you guys go back to bed okay? It's late."
All the little ones looked at each other and hurried back upstairs, Tommy tried to follow but was stopped by Quackity, "Tommy. What. The. Fuck," He growled, pulling him downstairs by the sleeve.
"Fucking hell, Tom-" Wilbur sighed, walking out from the kitchen,"What did we say about bringing them down to see Santa!" He huffed, walking over to Quackity.
"It is literally only when we do it-" The smaller added, glaring at him.
"Hey- I thought you were doing it later- I was going to bring them out, wait a few minutes then say he won't come till you guys are asleep."
"...My children just watched me making an innuendo to Santa," Quackity stared at Tommy, "And my grandkids. And your child-"
Tommy just stared at them, "...Next year I'll make sure no one's down here then-"
"Have you ever been able to tell them that last bit yet?" Wilbur cocked a brow and Tommy shook his head, "Someone has always been down here-"
"...I'm going the fuck to bed-" Quackity pushed past his brother-in-law and upstairs.
"...God dammit," Wil sighed, "Night Tom-" He walked up as well being followed by Tommy.
"Tomorrow's going to be fun," Tommy mumbled, chuckling a little.
"I'm inviting Z over if you don't promise to not take them down to see Santa," Wilbur shouted.
"...Dude-" Tom whisper yelled.
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-Word Count: 2361-
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy new year or whenever the fuck you're reading this.
I wrote this Christmas Eve starting at 4 pm and it is now 11 pm.
So-
Also, Z is my friend's OC that (if you read my DND book) will be looked at more.
I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas... or if you don't celebrate it happy holidays/Monday, make sure to eat something and drink your holy water!