"I think at this point, the beach should be our hangout spot," I joked upon spotting Zyran on a bench facing the ocean.
Why I was there in the first place was a distant thought.
He turned around, and my whole body warmed at the sight of him, his usual warm smile complemented by black attire. Sitting beside him, the initial moments passed in silence before he broke it. "You seem tense. What's up?"
Sharing the Xavi story was out of the question, given my growing feelings for Zyran. I turned to him, and he did the same. "I hooked up with my ex, and I regret it," I admitted.
He swallowed the lump in his throat, looking away. "Do you still love him?" he asked quietly. "I have some affection for him, but I don't think I love him anymore."
His body relaxed a bit, and he fully turned to me. "As long as you regret it, it's fine, I guess." He said. "Those braids look perfect on you," he whispered, multiplying the butterflies in my stomach.
Proximity made it harder to speak, so I just smiled. I rested my head on his shoulder, chuckling when I felt him tense up. "You're really not tactile, are you?"
"I'm trying for you."
Butterflies.
"Why do you always come to the beach?" I asked after a comfortable silence. "It's the only crowded place I like, and I'm always home alone, so, yeah."
"How come?"
"My parents died, and I'm an only child," he muttered. Sitting up, I met his eyes, sadness clouding his features, and my eyes welled up. "You're an orphan," I mumbled to myself.
"It's okay, though. I learned to live with it," he reassured, giving me a small smile. To avoid tearing up in his face, I laid my head back on his shoulder as we admired the sunset.
I took his hand resting on his lap and traced small circles with my fingers. His gaze shifted to our joined hands, and he let out a contented breath. "I like spending time with you," I confessed, smiling.
"I know, I'm a very fun person," he teased, and I laughed, looking up at his perfect profile. Even from the side, his jawline and eyes radiated his beauty. After a while, he caught my admiring gaze.
Blushing, he muttered, "You gotta stop looking at me like that," nervously looking away. "You're so cute when you blush," I remarked, making his eyes widen. "I don't blush."
I hummed, clearly unconvinced, and continued playing with his rings and fingers.
******
1 week later
September was finally over which meant that the most violent episodes were finally going to come to an end.
I smiled to myself as I laid on my bed, staring at my white ceiling. I grabbed my phone on my nightstand and checked the messages in the group chat I was in with Dominica and Bella.
Real Housewives 🫶🏾
Dommy: Bella!! Post on your
fucking story!!
Bella: What if he doesn't care?
Dommy: Then you'll know if he was
real with you or not.
I put my phone away and got up from my bed before making my way to the bathroom and doing my usual morning routine before heading to school with Levi.
As we sat in his car he took a turn. "This isn't the way to school." I said as I put my braids up in a half up half down ponytail.
"I gotta go pick a bitch up." He spoke and I took a deep breath instead of insulting him. "I already told you that referring to girls as "bitches", will get you nowhere." I scolded and he shrugged.
I looked at him in disbelief as his blond hair followed the wind so smoothly and he drove with one arm out the window.
We pulled up at a huge house in Beverly Hills and he honked before a girl almost tripped out of her house and ran to the car.
"Don't tell me I have to go to the backseat." I gave him a side eye when he smiled at me and unlocked the door.
As I opened it, the girl stood there with what seemed like stains of foundation all over her face and a cheap lipstick covering her lips. She grinned at me, very hypocritically if you ask me, before getting in the passenger seat.
I got in the car and the minute she closed the door they started making out. I almost puked at the way she was eating his face.
It was seven in the fucking morning.
He pushed her away before starting the car and driving off.
******
We quickly arrived at school and to avoid seeing them eating each other's face again, I practically ran out the car.
Making my way to the entrance, I saw Xavi talking with his teammates. He gave me a murderous gaze as I walked by and I tried not to draw too much attention since half of the team was already looking at me.
I walked into school and immediately spotted Dommy. I walked over to her and we hugged before heading to my locker.
"Bitch, you won't believe what happened to me last night," Dommy started.
...
"Raya? Can you hear me?"
The struggle of zoning off and having my mind go blank during conversations was what I despised the most. Maintaining normal, continuous conversations was challenging sometimes.
"Do you want me to text it to you?" Dommy asked softly. I smiled and nodded, appreciating one of the ways she supported me – texting what she wanted to say, making communication easier through reading.
Dommy 💕
Okay so I posted a guy on my story
yesterday
Levi replied to it and he was like so
confused
He called me and asked me if we
could talk 😑
Obviously I said no
You see, he wants me so badlyy 🙄
I chuckled at Dommy's texts, trying to find humor in Levi's audacity. Our conversation about Levi's sometimes unbelievable antics, took an unexpected turn when I spotted Bella talking to a random guy, joined by Xavi.
You won't believe what they did.
Bella and Xavi hugged. Yes, they fucking hugged each other.
"What the fuck is she doing?" Dommy asked, now standing beside me, equally bewildered by the unfolding scene.
Xavi might have aimed to provoke jealousy, but Bella's involvement stirred an unexpected reaction. Despite knowing Zyran, an amazing person, jealousy crept in. My fists clenched, jaw tightened. "I have no idea what game she's playing, but we'll find out soon," I said as Bella finally separated from Xavi and walked toward us.
As I shot daggers at her, Xavi smirked at my reaction. I cursed myself for giving him the satisfaction of seeing me "jealous".
"Hey!" Bella screeched. Dommy and I gave each other a look before walking away from her. The desire to understand what was happening between her and Xavi warred with her hypocritical personality, quickly making me reconsider.
Fuck this.
******
I had just spent the worst day of my life.
Between Bella's antics and Xavi's constant looks and provocations, I was exhausted and just wanted to hit the beach in hope to find Zyran.
I took my meds on the way and prayed that he would be there.
He usually sat here around this time of the day so I went to the bench we sat on last time and waited.
He never came.
Merry Christmas luvs!!🎄🫶🏾
(25/12/2023)