HAVEN STYLES
As I vaguely regain consciousness to the sound of birds chirping outside, I think that I'm in our Hollywood Hills house until I blink my eyes open to see nothing but blue and white. It's a blinding scene but it brings a smile to my face as I look to my right to see Harry is still knocked out cold.
He's on his bare chest with his head turned away from me on the feather pillow and the silky white sheets are pushed down just far enough for me to see the black waistband of his Calvin briefs. I force my eyes to stay open just so I can keep staring at the muscles in his back as it rises and falls with every slow breath he takes. The only thing that's missing are scratch marks, but that'll come soon enough.
I consider waking him, but if he's still sleeping and I'm awake, then he must be completely exhausted after the wedding and traveling. Unlike me, he doesn't sleep well on airplanes so I'm sure he stayed up for most of the nearly five-hour ride while I slept until we needed to get back into our seats for landing.
It was around 5 a.m. when we touched down so we were able to watch the sun slowly rise over the ocean in Santorini on our way to the private villa I rented for us, and I know I say this about all of our houses, but I think this one would be my favorite if we owned it. The architecture is modern, yet so traditionally Grecian in its white stucco makeup and open arch doorways, but it's the view that has me struck dumb as I sit up in bed and stare out at it.
The glass accordion-style wall across from our bed first shows us the infinity pool just steps outside of our bedroom, and beyond that is the deep blue Aegean Sea for miles and miles. We're so high up that I feel like we're quite literally on top of Santorini, which isn't the worst place to be at all. I can't wait to venture out with Harry and see the sights...but at the moment, I can't wait to eat everything.
The nausea in my stomach from lack of food is my main motivating factor to get out of bed and make breakfast, leaving Harry alone to sleep. The owners of the villa helped me figure out how to have a service bring groceries to the place yesterday, ensuring that we would have food upon arrival, which is probably the best decision I could have made as I pull all the ingredients out to make a decent spread for two—three, I guess.
While I get started on the sausage for myself first, snacking on a granola bar in the meantime, I think about how excited I am to surprise Harry with breakfast when he surprises me first. My whole body jolts when I feel his arms sliding around my midsection above my bump as well as his chin resting on my shoulder.
"Why are you awake?" I pout. "I was gonna make you breakfast."
"Mm," he stays still, holding me while I nudge the sausages with a spatula. Although he's obviously standing and holding his own weight, his body feels heavy as if he's still half asleep. "I should be making you breakfast."
The rasp in his voice gives me butterflies as I lower the heat on the stove and turn to see his messy hair and tired eyes, both of which bring an instant smile to my face. "You're so handsome."
"And you're a liar," he croaks out with a smirk.
"I am not!" I smile wider as he holds my throat and leans in for a slow kiss.
He hums out the most relieved sigh as his hand slips around to hold the back of my neck, scratching his fingers through my hair as I place my hands on his bare chest. His smile grows against my mouth as I slide my hands down to feel his abs contract under my touch.
"Did you sleep alright?" He tucks my hair behind my ears, letting me turn back around but staying close as I continue cooking.
"I slept really well," I nod. "You?"
"Not on the plane so much, but that bed is incredible," he kisses the slope of my shoulder before tearing himself away to get the coffee started with the Nespresso machine.
"Yeah, I think we'll need to close the blinds to sleep longer, but I almost would rather wake up early just to see that view," I make a double-take when I see him standing there with his back to me, still in his briefs, working with the coffee. That's a view.
"At least we don't really have to adjust to a time difference," he reminds me. "So it's not like we'll be out of sync and that's nice."
"For sure," I clear my throat and look away from the dimples at the bottom of his spine, smiling tightly at the unintended char on my sausage. "So after we eat, I have a surprise for us and you'll want to bring your swimsuit."
"Yeah?" He smirks tiredly as he grabs two plain white mugs from one of the glass cabinets while I dump a generous amount of hash browns in a warm pan. "What's the surprise?"
I shoot him a look. "If I tell you, then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore."
"Right," he sets the plates down for me when I'm ready. "Good job on the house, by the way. It's just what I would have picked if it were me."
"Right?!" I beam, proud of my work. "I had a vision for a view like the one we have from our bedroom so that was my main priority when searching and this one was to die for. Jeff helped me book it to make sure it wasn't a scam or anything."
"Yeah, we might need a house here," he smirks, probably only partially teasing.
"I mean, I won't argue," I watch him make my coffee with sugar and cream right next to me, and I find it absolutely adorable as he blows on the hot liquid for me the same way he does when he's feeding our children. It's a habit, I guess.
"Can I help you with breakfast?"
"Nope," I point at the counter across from me. "Sit down and I'll serve you this time."
He complies to sit at one of the barstools with his black coffee, watching me make our eggs last. I top everything with sea salt and cracked pepper before sitting beside him and we decide that we should give the kids a FaceTime call to see how they're doing with my parents this morning. They're eating a late breakfast as well after apparently sleeping in a bit longer from being up so late last night, as expected.
"Where are you, Daddy?" Lily asks, tilting her head at him. I think she thinks he's working again and I just came along for the ride because that's what she used to ask him when he was on tour without us.
"We're in Greece, baby," he answers. "You wanna see the view?"
"Mhm," her face isn't completely in the frame as she holds the phone lopsided, earning a smile from me as Harry walks over to the glass living room to show her the ocean and our outdoor lounge area.
"That's the sea out there," he explains. "Kind of like where you are in Italy right now."
"Oh!" She coos like she's impressed and I can hear Jack in the background whining because he wants to see as well.
"That's beautiful, oh my Lord," my mom chimes in. "James come look at their view, honey."
"Wow, that's insane," my dad's quiet voice comes through. "What's the plan for today, then?"
"Well, we're just having breakfast now and then Haven apparently has a surprise for us that involves swimsuits," he comes back to sit with me so I can see my parents too.
"It's so gorgeous here, you guys need to come sometime," I speak with my mouth full. "Maybe for your next anniversary."
My mom nods, looking up at my dad to see his amused smile as he doesn't quite agree. He likes to keep everything a surprise for her. "Well, we just finished eating breakfast as well and I think we're going to go into town for a bit. Is that alright?"
"Whatever you want to do, and whatever they want to do," I put my hands up in defense. "I trust you completely, but when you go out just please watch Lily, okay? She likes to run around by herself."
"Hey!" Lily whines in the background.
"You do!" Harry laughs. "No wandering around by yourself, alright? Stay with your nana and grandpa."
"I do!" She persists, but that's a lie.
"We'll watch her like a hawk, won't we, honey?" My mom scowls sarcastically as my dad suddenly snatches Lily up much like an actual hawk would, eliciting shrieking giggles from her.
"Okay, well, have fun with them, and call me if you have any questions," I sip my coffee. "And if you run out of things to do with them or get tired, just put on a movie."
My mom playfully rolls her eyes. "I do have some experience in this, you know."
"I know, I know, sorry," I chuckle and show Harry the camera so he can wave goodbye. "We love you and we'll talk to you soon."
"Love you! Be safe!"
"Love you," I blow a kiss before hanging up so Harry and I can finish eating our breakfast together. "So what was your favorite part of the wedding? We didn't get to talk about it last night when I passed out."
"Mm," he frowns in thought, narrowing his eyes as he chews with his jaw popping out at the corners with every bite. "Besides the ceremony?"
"Yeah, like at the reception," I have another sip from my lukewarm coffee but stand to fill two glasses of ice water for both of us to make sure we stay hydrated.
"I don't know, I kind of just loved how relieved I felt knowing that just about every single person I cared about was in one place like you were saying when we left," he answers. "I felt so calm and relaxed during dinner and just while we were talking to everyone, but I loved dancing with you and I loved the speeches. I loved all of it."
"Me too," I smile at the recent memory. "It was such a special day, but you know what's more exciting?"
"Hm?"
"We're like...married now, Harry," my eyes widen enthusiastically, watching his do the same before they soften as he laughs in amusement. "Isn't that insane?"
"Not really," he shakes his head, placing his hand high on my back to lean in and kiss me. "I knew it would happen, it was just a matter of 'when', not 'if'."
"Oh, well, at least you're humble," I earn another laugh from him as he leans in to kiss my cheek.
"I don't mean that I knew you would want to marry me, I mean that I knew I was going to ask you and I knew I was going to do whatever it took to make it happen."
"Hm," I smile around my fork as I take my last bite. "I like that answer more."
"I thought you might," he chuckles and takes our plates to the sink to wash up.
Our plan now is to unpack our clothes into the dresser and closet in our room just to get organized so we can take a quick shower and get dressed. Just as Italy was, the weather here is absolutely stunning. It's in the high seventies with the ocean breeze to keep us cool enough that I don't think we could possibly get too warm even in the intense sunshine. It's like California, but on a whole other level of beauty in my opinion.
For our afternoon out, I put on a pair of denim shorts with a stretchier waistband to accommodate my bump with a slightly oversized white button-down shirt over a white lace bra. It's simple and low-key, and I'm hoping that Harry and I can go for at least most of our honeymoon without being spotted by the paparazzi or too many fans of his. I doubt it, but we'll see.
"You look so nice," Harry smiles as I come out of the ensuite to see him lounging on the bed after he made it up.
"So do you," I look over his linen black short-sleeve button-down to match his shorts, along with one of his millions of pairs of Gucci x Adidas sneakers.
In my Gucci overnight bag, I pack our swimsuits, a change of nicer clothes, sunscreen, and my giant water bottle along with my usual tote bag essentials and makeup before we head out through the front door. The breeze is even nicer in the shade as we start down the sidewalk hand-in-hand.
The reason I booked the house I did, apart from the sheer beauty of it, is because it also happens to be very close to the shops and restaurants around Santorini. I think that contributes to the hefty price of it, seeing as you get the privacy of a quiet neighborhood while only needing to walk for ten minutes before you're in the middle of everything.
"Where are we going?" Harry smiles like a little kid as I use my maps to keep leading the way downhill.
"You'll see soon," I hold my hand up to shield the sun from my eyes even under my sunglasses to see the boats and yachts anchored to the dock in the short distance.
"Are we going to the beach?"
"Harry," I speak in a warning tone.
"Sorry, sorry," he drops my hand to drape his arm around my shoulder instead. That's around the time that I notice one girl taking a photo of us on the other side of the street, and that little photo or video just singlehandedly sealed our fate for the rest of the trip, I know that for a fact.
"That girl definitely just took a picture of us," I mumble as Harry keeps his arm around me and peers over his shoulder to see the culprit.
"Well, I suppose it was bound to happen, wasn't it?" He squeezes me into him and kisses my temple. "It'll be alright."
I nod to agree and end the route once we reach the pathway that puts us on the wide wooden dock. He then asks me if we're going on a boat, to which I smile and keep walking until we stand in front of the correct yacht. It's pearly white, huge, and meant just for us.
"Hello," a man with a heavy accent waves as if he was expecting us, because he was. "Haven Styles?"
"Yes," I beam at the sound of my new name coming out of a stranger's mouth.
"Right this way," he walks us along the dock to get to the stairway ramp that will get us on the boat.
"You're insane," Harry's still smiling as he follows me on and I don't think either of us stops smiling for the whole tour of the yacht that the man gives to us. It's honestly a little ridiculous for just two people, but this is our honeymoon. We're supposed to do outlandishly luxurious things, aren't we? After all, I learned from the best.
"You can change down in the lower level if you like," the man suggests once we reach the back upper deck of the boat. "We will leave in a couple of minutes."
"Okay, thank you so much," I lift my hand to wave to him as he leaves us alone.
"How did you plan this?" Harry keeps his smile and snakes his arms around my waist.
"Jeff helped me again," I stand on my toes to kiss him. "Are you surprised?"
"Completely," he nods honestly and tilts his head to kiss me in return before we go down to change as the man suggested.
Thankfully, I'm feeling cute enough with my bump these days that I don't mind wearing one of the bikinis I was gifted for the honeymoon, and I'm mostly wearing it for Harry anyway. His reactions to seeing me in bathing suits like this always make me feel better about myself.
As I step out of one of the bathrooms, I find him back on the top deck wearing one of the vintage Green Bay Packers T-shirts, Nike swim shorts, and a trucker hat to keep the sun out of his face. I think we both have the same reaction seeing each other even though I'm practically naked and he's still mostly dressed.
"That's new," he removes his sunglasses just to make sure I can see him while he checks me out from the sunhat on my head to my red-painted toenails. "God, you look incredible."
"It's cute, huh?" I smile down at the scraps of lace, setting my bag on the cushion bench seat to dig out the sunscreen. "Will you get me first? Then I'll do you?"
He opens his mouth with a smirk as if he's going to say something inappropriate, only stopping when I hold my finger up to him. Then he laughs. "Yes, c'mere."
I hand him the bottle and secure my hair up in a claw clip to turn my back to him, smiling forward when I feel him start to massage the cream into my shoulders, arms, and upper back first. I'd lay down if it wasn't for my bump so he could get my lower back and legs more easily, but he has no problem getting on both his knees to make sure every inch of my skin is protected from sun exposure.
"Turn," he gently pulls at my thigh with his fingers wrapped around the upper inner part of it until I do as he said.
I knew he was down there, so I don't know why I'm so taken aback by the sight of him on his knees in front of me, applying more of the lotion starting from my ankles and working his way up. I feel suddenly lightheaded as his hands travel up to my inner thighs, and I find myself looking around to make sure no one is watching even though the yacht has already started toward the ocean, and even though he's technically not touching me inappropriately.
And while I know I'm completely capable of getting my stomach, chest, and arms, I let him carry on to keep massaging the sunscreen into my skin with such care that someone might assume my body is sore with the way he's touching me. It makes me feel loved.
"Okay, your turn," I gesture to him, watching and trying not to drool as he removes his hat and sunglasses to toss on the bench so he can tug his shirt off by the back collar. Dear God. "You're so hot."
He laughs at my unabashed compliment. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," I stand in front of him and start with his chest.
I won't lie, I completely lose track of time as I rub the cream into his summer-tanned skin until it's no longer a creamy substance, but more of an oil absorbed into his skin. I'm a little busy thinking about how I want to consummate our marriage tonight, and I'm thinking about how it's going to feel to touch him similarly to the way that I am now, except he'll be naked and his mouth will be on mine I'm sure.
"K," I make a swirling motion with my index finger for him to turn around so I can get his back–his stupid, annoying, gorgeous, sexy back. I roll my eyes, understanding for a while now that it's my Achilles heel and that's just how it is.
"Alright, I think you're good," I leave my hands low on his hips, smiling as he twists his torso back to see and kiss me.
While the yacht travels slowly and steadily further into the sea, we share a lounge chair to lie down on and I'm grateful that the weather is still so nice even in the open sunshine. I'm not cold, but the breeze feels good as I lie on my side and cuddle my husband while he stays on his back.
"We're going to have dinner here if that's okay," I tell him.
"Dinner on the yacht?"
"Mhm," I adjust my head on his shoulder and keep my eyes closed, practically physically feeling my skin soak up the vitamin D. "There's a chef, so we'll just stay here for the afternoon, eat, and then we can go back home. Or, not home, but the house."
"That sounds great," he turns his head toward mine, grazing his lips over my forehead. "This is great."
I smile with my eyes closed still, but it softens as I suddenly think of the future for some reason. I think it's because I know he means that our lives right now are great. "Have you been writing?"
"Oh, um...a bit, but nothing concrete or incredibly serious," he replies. "I'm not thinking about music these days."
"What are you thinking about?"
He pauses, then says, "You. Jack and Lily. The new baby. The rest of our lives together and what that'll look like."
Not a bad answer.
"What does it look like for you?" I curiously ask.
His hum vibrates in his chest. "A lot like this, I hope, but I'd like to take a holiday with Jack and Lily before the baby comes as well."
"Me too, that would be nice," I agree and start to trace the outline of his butterfly tattoo. It's slimy to the touch as his sunscreen and beads of sweat mix together, but he smells incredible—like the beach and his cologne. "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything," he sighs dramatically.
I tilt my head up to look at him. "When do you think you'll stop touring for good?"
Naturally, he doesn't have an immediate answer for me. Instead, he blinks a few times before he closes his eyes and says, "I've never really thought about it, but...I don't know. I'm sure when I'm much older, I won't want to or won't physically be able to do long stretches of shows like I just did with Love On Tour, but I don't think I can see myself never getting on stage again at any certain point until I'm really old."
"So you think maybe when you're 40 and 50 you'll still play shows but just not as many?"
He wrinkles his nose. "God, it's a bit terrifying to think about being 40 and 50, isn't it?"
"Yes," I laugh back. "But I can see you still playing shows in all the major cities–maybe like another residency situation. Although, I can't really imagine you jumping around a stage at 50."
His dimples appear as he smiles and laughs to himself. "I don't think I'll be making this same kind of music when I'm 50, but I might not be making music anymore at all. Maybe I'll get more into acting. I don't know, but you know something?"
"Hm?"
"This topic used to scare the fuck out of me because my whole life has been making music, touring, being in the entertainment industry, having fans, doing interviews, all of that. So to think about what would happen to me when no one gives a shit anymore, or I just don't have the same spark that I did at 18, 23, and now, it was like paralyzing for me to think about."
I nod, fully understanding him without being able to empathize. It's not a hard situation to be sympathetic to as an outsider. "But now?"
Thankfully, the corner of his mouth ticks upward for half a second. "But now, I'm not even remotely worried about what will happen with all of that because I have you and the kids–however many more we have in our future. My music, my fans, and the fame were my life before you, but you replaced all of that a long time ago, Hay. As long as I have you, I feel alright about whatever else might happen."
My skin pricks with chills from the salty sea breeze and from the idea that I bring that much peace to him. I can imagine those thoughts must have kept him up at night a few times, but to know that he loves me so much that he doesn't have to worry about those debilitating fears is such a compliment.
"I'm glad you feel that way," I touch his face and push my fingers through his hair. "I love you so much and I feel the same for me and my life. You and the kids are everything to me and all that matters."
He nods his understanding and tilts his chin down to kiss me. After the first one, I shift up to kiss him again, and he places his hand on the back of my neck to give me a third. In no time at all, we're leisurely making out and I have butterflies in my stomach from the thrill of doing this in public...sort of. He's never kissed me on the street the way he's kissing me now, with his tongue visibly sliding into my mouth and his hand just about creeping into the back of my small bikini bottoms. When it does, I smile against his lips and hike my leg up to rest over his as he squeezes my skin and adjusts the bottoms for me the way they were before.
"I have another surprise for you tonight," I mumble close to his mouth before he kisses me again, humming in questioning. "I'm not gonna tell you what it is exactly, but I'll give you a hint and tell you that it's something we've done before."
He gasps. "Are we gonna have sex?"
I laugh genuinely, but still roll my eyes. "Yeah, I figured we should probably try that on our honeymoon at some point."
"What is it?" He chuckles at my sarcasm. "Is it related to sex?"
I nod, smiling in amusement as I recall Katie telling me she put a surprise in my bag for the honeymoon. "It's not a position or anything, but it's...yeah, you'll see. And you'll be stoked."
"Haven, I was stoked when all we did was sext if we were in two different timezones and couldn't call each other," he reminds me. "I'm always stoked for you."
"Well, good," I sit up and walk across the deck to retrieve my water bottle so I can chug the cold water, holding it out to him so he can have a sip as well.
Just as I think I'm getting hungry, the same man from before comes up to let us know that we're going to anchor here for a little while so we can swim if we'd like and that lunch is on the way. Harry and I thank him, looking out at the view and taking pictures of it when a different man in a black polo shirt and white shorts brings us two silver platters to rest on the table in the shaded part of the yacht. He explains the lunch to be a lentil salad with tuna sandwiches and hummus with freshly made pita bread, pouring sparkling water into two wine glasses for us.
I eat slowly so as not to fill up too quickly, but I feel alright to follow Harry into the water once we're finished. It's cold enough for me to gasp and squeal as I attempt to suck in my stomach, making Harry laugh as he reaches his arms out for me to hold onto him. At least the water is clear enough for us to see what's around us, or this wouldn't be happening. I don't trust the ocean when the water is too dark.
"Did I already tell you that you look beyond amazing in this?" Harry holds me in the water, wading us toward the little island nearby where it's shallow enough for his feet to touch the bottom.
"Mhm," I look down at my honestly impressive cleavage. "I feel beyond amazing."
His eyes almost close as I push my fingers through his hair to get it wet. I love when his hair is damp and messy like this. As his eyes do actually close now, he says, "Why haven't we had sex yet? It's been–"
"A day?" I crack up laughing as he opens his eyes with a scowl, but that's the truth. We fucked the night of the rehearsal dinner and every night before that, so last night was our first time just going to sleep in maybe a month.
"Feels longer," he mutters bitterly and freely stuffs his hands down the back of my bikini now that our bottom halves are underwater and no one can really see what he's doing.
"Harry!" I squeal as he squeezes my ass roughly in the best kind of way.
"Let's just do it here."
"No way," I giggle and look over my shoulder to see another decent-sized boat not terribly far from us–not to mention the staff on our own yacht obviously keeping an eye on us and our whereabouts.
"I keep thinking about how I wanna do it," he sighs in a way that tells me he really has been thinking about it.
"Yeah?" I chuckle to try and keep the mood light, but I can feel my core tightening as his lips land on the side of my neck and my goosebumps are impossible to ignore.
"Mhm," he keeps kneading my ass and I start to worry as his fingers inch closer to where I want them. "I think I want you on your back first, then on your hands and knees, then just your knees so I can fuck you and hold you from behind–"
"H–"
"And then I want you on top," he continues, ignoring my warning tone. "And when you get tired, I'll just fuck you while you stay in my lap, but that's all after I go down on you. Obviously."
"Obviously," I tease, but it's difficult for me to swallow as I hug him and picture all of that in my mind.
That's one of the strangest things about being in a relationship, I always thought. It's so weird to be laughing with your partner one moment and then realizing that you know what they sound like when they're moaning uncontrollably in bed and you know the difference between their orgasm smile and their public smile.
"Goddammit," I mutter and start to untangle myself from him.
He laughs because he knows why. "What?"
"You're so annoying."
"Where are you going?" He laughs and starts swimming after me, though he actually swims like a swimmer and I swim like a puppy in water for the first time.
As he catches me, he turns me around and brings me right back in for another kiss. It's more innocent than the last one was, but it does nothing to help the ache between my thighs as I resist the urge to reach down between us and touch him.
But now we're back on the yacht, letting the sun air dry our skin as we snack on the leftover hummus from lunch and talk about what our plans are for the rest of the year. I love that nothing is set in stone, nor that we have no deadlines to be anywhere at any specific time. In other words, he doesn't have a schedule that we need to work around and I forgot how nice that is.
"When will you feel the baby kick?" Harry asks, lying down with his head on my chest and his hand on my bump. "I forgot what month it was last time."
"Well, I was doing research and the internet says that sometimes you feel movement at around 13 weeks for the second pregnancy," I yawn and place my hand on his. "We need to tell the kids when we get back, H. I can't believe we've put it off for so long."
"I know, I know," he mumbles. "I just know Lily is going to be devastated and I'm not ready for that."
"If they're devastated, it's only because they don't understand it yet," I explain. "I guarantee that once the baby is here, they're going to be so excited to have a new sibling and they're old enough to understand that we still adore them as well. I think if they were too young, they might not get it and just think we're replacing them. But they understand just about everything we tell them now."
"That's true," he sighs just the same and keeps smoothing his hand over the top of my stomach as if petting a cat or dog's fur. "I guess we'll see how it goes."
It's not until now that I'm realizing that I'm fully giving away the fact that I'm pregnant by being out here with no top on. Sure, maybe people will think I just gained weight if anyone happens to see us on the boat like this, or at the beach when we eventually go, but I still basically had abs a month and a half ago and there are paparazzi pictures to prove it. Logically, would it make sense for me to suddenly gain weight in only my belly area so soon? Maybe. But it's nice to know that Harry and I aren't so concerned with keeping it a secret or not. At this point, we're just living our lives.
"I think I wanna rinse off and change for dinner," I pat his head so that he'll let me get up. "It's our first honeymoon dinner and I don't wanna be in my bathing suit for it."
"Good call," he stands with me and we both walk over to the outdoor shower on the top deck with us.
Because it has a removable shower head, Harry takes it upon himself to hold it up for me so I don't have to do it myself, staying still while I rinse the salt out of my hair and use the complimentary coconut-scented body wash to rid that sunscreen and ocean water scent. He's taller than me, but that doesn't stop me from standing on my toes to help him shower the same way once I'm finished.
We part ways in two of the bedrooms on the lower deck to change our clothes and I can hardly wait for him to see my outfit. It's a cherry red dress with thin shoulder straps and a plunging V-neckline. My breasts look incredible and I know Harry loves this color on me–especially now that I'm even more tan after being in the sun all day today.
Quickly, I apply a bit of makeup and decide to pull my damp hair back into a slick ponytail to keep it all away from my face. I take a mirror selfie to send to Katie with the red-lipped kiss emoji, to which she sends back the heart eyes and reminds me that if I'm gonna kill Harry, I should wait until after the honeymoon so that people aren't suspicious that I just wanted his money. It's never just "you look pretty" with her.
I'm still laughing about that as I step into my wedge heels and walk out to meet Harry back up where our table is on the deck. The sun is going down, forcing the sea to shine like a trillion diamonds, and casting everything golden in its wake. It's breathtaking, but not much compared to the man sitting at the table with a white button-down shirt unbuttoned most of the way to show his tan skin and tattoos. He rolled the long sleeves up, knowing what that does to me.
When he hears my wedges thumping on the deck, he looks up from his phone and I notice the way his eyes soften as he starts to smile at me. He shakes his head the way he does so often. "You're killing me, Hay."
"Thank you," I chuckle again and think of Katie. "I thought you'd like it."
"Fuck's sake," he stops me from sitting down by grabbing my hand to keep me standing next to him, holding the back of my thigh just under my ass. I don't know how he knew exactly where to touch when the dress isn't tight to my skin. "You look so fucking good."
"Thanks–"
"No, no, no, hold on," he picks his phone up from the table and stands. "Let me take a picture of you."
"What?" I smile. "Of me? Not with me?"
"We can take one together after but I want this for myself," he stands in front of me as I sit down casually with my hands behind me to keep me propped up, glancing back to see the view before I look at Harry again.
He takes a few before I'm allowed to follow him back to the table, and I ask him what he's doing before I feel my phone vibrate in my bag a second later. I pop the woven basket open to see that I have an Instagram notification and swipe to see the post for myself.
"Holy shit, how does it have more than 300,000 likes in two minutes?" My jaw drops as I inspect the photo and growing comment section. "Also...I look pretty good."
"Pretty good?" He scoffs as if he's disgusted with the phrase. "You look insane. I probably shouldn't have even shared that with the world. It's pornographic."
"Oh my God, it is not," I smile and double-tap the picture before setting my phone face down. "But that's very sweet of you to share it with the world."
"I share all the things I'm proud of," he answers seamlessly. "You're the biggest one of all of 'em."
I shake my head at him as his charming smirk grows. "Are you trying to get lucky?"
"No," he scoots his chair closer to the table. "I already know I'm getting lucky."
My mouth opens, ready to tell him that he's being awfully cocky before our "waiter" of sorts comes to light the candles on our table. He has a bottle of wine, which he respectfully offers to Harry after I tell him that I'm pregnant. Harry, being a gentleman and knowing me so well, declines the offer and I know he's doing that because he knows I want wine. It was different for him to drink at our wedding rather than right in front of me on our dinner date, but I wouldn't have been angry at him if he did.
"Alright, I've gotta tell you one more time," he crosses his arms on the table, glancing down at my chest before his eyes flicker across my face. "You're so beautiful."
I pout to try and hide my blushing smile. "Only one more time?"
He laughs and shakes his head at me. "Only one more time for the next ten minutes or so."
"No, I appreciate it," I chuckle and sip the cold water in my wine glass. "I'm feeling really good with this pregnancy, which almost makes me sad thinking back to how miserable the first time was."
Frowning more seriously, he says, "Well, I think it helps that you know much more of what to expect, right? And we know after the ultrasounds that there's only one baby this time, so I'm sure that makes a world of difference."
"You're right," I sit back in my seat and glance at the view on my left as the sun sinks lower toward the water. "Pushing one baby out and that's it will be a piece of cake. I'm excited."
He laughs with a knowing nod. "I'm sure it certainly can't be worse than two."
We reminisce on my first pregnancy and the hospital experience for a while, but mostly on the topic of parenthood and the ways we feel that we've grown as people and parents in the last four years. Four years. It feels like four minutes and four centuries have gone by since Jack and Lily were born and now we're going to have a third little baby of ours soon enough.
As our salmon and rice with marinated vegetables are brought to us–with more scratch-made hummus, naturally–I start thinking again about how excited I am to have at least a year or maybe two of just being a family together. I'm fully expecting Harry to be writing and maybe even get into the studio along the way, but for the most part, we're just going to enjoy our lives without the cloud of his touring and prior commitments hanging over our heads. I'm sure the day will come when we're all excited to get back into that routine and go see him on tour, but this will be an incredible break for us.
"So where are you on your business idea?" He pulls me out of my thoughts.
"Oh," I laugh at the reminder. "I don't know. Maybe it was a stupid idea."
"No, it wasn't," he frowns as if I said something to offend him. "Maybe the timing isn't great right at this second, but we know all about poor timing, yeah?"
I have to smile at his sweet optimism. "Yeah, I guess that's true. I just know that I haven't felt that same emptiness in a while and I think I'm just learning to accept the fact that, for the next 18 years at least, my life is going to be occupied mostly by being a mother and that's okay. I regret feeling so sorry for myself about it before and probably making you feel bad about yourself in the process."
He shakes his head and swallows his bite to say, "I understood where you were coming from. The worst part was just not knowing how to help you through it, but I never blamed you and I still don't think you need to just sit at home all day and be a mum if you want more. We have Miss Honey now, the kids will soon have school, and your life is still yours to live, y'know? Whatever you want, I'll support you completely."
My smile softens as I hold my chin in my palm, pushing my food around with my fork. "I don't know how I got so lucky."
He smirks like he's proud of himself for saying something so sweet, which I've always found to be an adorable trait of his. "Jeff is mostly responsible for both of us being lucky, really."
"Oh my God," I laugh at how true that is and it's such a humble answer. "You're so right."
"Mhm," he smiles as he sips his water.
I thought I was the one keeping the surprises coming until our waiter eventually takes our cleared dinner plates in exchange for a rich chocolate cake that reads: Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Styles!
"Mr. and Mrs. Styles," I coo with my hand on my heart. "Thank you so much."
"Of course, of course," he smiles and nods at us. "Συγχαρητήρια."
Harry and I take that to mean "congratulations" in Greek before he explains that we're going to head back to shore now. Meanwhile, I take a picture of the cake and start eating it with my fork rather than slicing it up because why not? It's our cake, it's our yacht for the day, and it's our honeymoon. As far as I'm concerned, we can do whatever we want.
"Well, I'd say this was a nice first day of our trip, don't you think?" I take my last bite and ask the waiter if he can box it up so we can take it home with us.
"Absolutely," Harry confirms. "I love surprising you but it's fun being the one to be surprised. Thanks for planning all of this."
"You're welcome, baby," I take his hand as he helps me up from my seat. "I understand the appeal to being the surpriser now."
"Mhm," he kisses me twice before we gather our things in preparation to step back on land after profusely thanking all the crew on the yacht for a perfect day.
Harry carries the boxed cake in one arm while holding my hand with the other as we make the walk back to our house. It isn't quite as nice now that it's uphill, but we take our time despite how much of a rush I'm in to get home so I can give him his last surprise of the evening. It'll be one that serves us both, I know that much.
"Doesn't this weather make you miss California a bit?" I ask, slightly out of breath as we reach the street that our house is on, which puts us back on a flat surface.
"Yeah, it's nice," he places his hand on my lower back for the remaining journey to the front door, and I use the key to open it up and lock us in for the night.
It feels strange coming back to a place that doesn't belong to us or isn't just a hotel room, but I can imagine we'll be used to it and sad to leave by the time we're packing up to head back to Italy and collect our children. But for now, we're still trying different switches to get the correct lights on while we're still getting used to our surroundings.
"Okay, so in preparation for your surprise, I would like you to get comfortable and sit on the bed," I switch the bedside table lamps on in place of the harsh overhead light, plus we have the deep blue light coming from the infinity pool outside our room.
"Okay," he chuckles to himself as if he thinks I'm being cute, but I watch him step out of his sneakers and sit on the bed with his back resting against the feather pillows in front of the headboard.
I take my whole duffle into the ensuite with me just so he doesn't catch a glimpse of anything he's not supposed to see yet, smiling to myself as I shut the door behind me. I have plenty of lingerie to choose from for the next seven days, but the set I know I have to go for tonight is one that Katie gifted me after Harry and I parted ways on our rehearsal night. It's not quite as racy as the others, but rather the perfect balance of dainty and sophisticated, while still being sexy enough that I know Harry will lose his mind.
It's a pure white set with intricate woven tulle lace cups and double strap detail at the back. The exposed satin underwire casing is a nice touch as well, but I love that it's see-through without being completely see-through. It's a classy teasing set.
I opt to leave my hair in the ponytail I already had it in and my makeup is still intact after putting it on before dinner, but the last thing for me to add is my garter. Harry got it back after flicking it to all the unmarried men at the wedding and I'm almost positive he did that because he wanted to eventually incorporate it back into one of our nights together. Whether that was his intention or not, that's what I'm doing.
For the final surprise, the thing that I know will bring a smile to his face, is yet another edible body massage oil from the same brand that I bought the warming chocolate chip cookie one from–the one that Katie suggested I bring into the bedroom to spice things up. This is what she meant when she told me that she put a surprise in my duffle bag before we left last night. It's watermelon-flavored.
"Okay, I'm coming out," I shut the light off in the bathroom and hold the bottle of lubricant behind my back as I step into the bedroom.
Harry's still sitting there with his arms crossed and his phone on the nightstand further away from him as if he was just staring at nothing while waiting for me. I try to gauge his expression as he looks me over in the underwear, but it doesn't change much. His prominent frown is still in place, but the tell that gives him away is when he swallows and clenches his jaw. He's at a loss for words.
"Do you like it?" I kneel on the foot of the bed as he sits forward to come closer to me.
"It's better than what I already thought up in my head," he answers. "You look fucking amazing."
I smile and reveal the bottle to him. "Courtesy of Katie."
"Oh my God," his whole face lights up with a smile as he takes the bottle to inspect it closer for himself. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really excited for this."
"Mhm," I move closer to him until I can sit in his lap with my hands kneading his shoulders, and I can't decide if I just wanna go to town after missing out on this experience last night when we should have done it, or if I should make us take our time.
"Confession?" I keep digging my thumbs into his shoulders. He nods at me to go on. "I've been thinking about the first time we'd have sex after our wedding for months now. Maybe ever since you asked me to marry you."
His exhale trembles just slightly as he looks down to where I'm sitting on him. "Yeah, it's crossed my mind a couple of times as well."
I surprise him with a kiss in response, but I feel his lips molding into mine as he sets the can on the bed and squeezes my hips with a satisfied hum. His skin is hot on my knuckles as I start unbuttoning his shirt to open it up all the way, trying to push it off him when he doesn't want to let go of me. Reluctantly, he removes his hands from my hips to let me discard it completely, but like magnets, his fingers return to my hips so he can help me start to move in his lap.
"Feels good," I just barely mumble over his lips before he gives me another sloppy kiss. It makes me smile, and it makes me wish we were drunk.
I don't miss the way drinking made me feel the next morning and I'll admit that pregnancy is such a nice excuse to stay sober, but I miss letting go of all our inhibitions when we're both drunk and I miss how carnal the sex is when all we both want is to have an orgasm. However, something tells me tonight will go similarly, despite the lack of alcohol in our systems.
"Take this off," I look down to undo his trousers, smiling as I feel him snap the waistband of my lace and mesh thong against my skin.
"You first."
"If you want it off, take it off," I leave it up to him, and the next thing I know, I'm on my back lying diagonally on the double king-sized bed.
He seems to quickly get out of his trousers as if they're an inconvenience more than anything else before he kneels on the bed in front of me. I'm trying not to smile as he holds my knees to open them, making a space for himself between them so he can bend over and kiss my mouth. Just the simple gesture makes me want him in this position. I wanna feel him moving on top of me and I want him to smother me in that way.
But just as I loop my thighs around his waist to keep him here, he dodges my lips to kiss my neck. I smile because I know what that means, and sure enough, he starts making his way south, nipping and sucking just about every single inch of my skin as he goes. My lips part as I watch his tongue roll out over my H tattoo and I already feel completely feral with lust as he looks down at the delicate lace covering my clit. It's like I'm already throbbing for him knowing that at any second he can just stick his tongue out and–
My whole brain ceases to function for a moment as I smile through a moan and relax at the sensation of the tip of his tongue pushing through the lace to move the fabric around. I close my eyes and delve my fingers through his hair, moaning again simply from the image of him underneath my dress at the reception. I can't stop thinking about him being underneath any of my dresses, including the red one I wore tonight. I wish we could get away with that kind of thing in public and now I'm wondering how we can make it happen. That was a fantasy I didn't know I had until the wedding.
"So good," I mumble, simply speaking my thoughts aloud as he flattens his tongue over the fabric now. Surely, he can feel how wet I already was before his mouth made an appearance at all.
"Haven?" He nearly moans my name, but it sounds like a question.
"Yeah?"
He sits back and rakes his fingers through his hair to keep them out of his face. That one strand rebels, earning a smile from me. "I wanna make a sex tape."
My smile disappears. "Pardon?"
His eyes crinkle at the corners as he laughs. "On my phone. I wanna film us."
I'm intrigued, anxious, scared, excited, turned on, but skeptical all at once. "Harry–"
"Please," he comes back up to kiss my mouth. "I won't have to keep it forever if you don't want, but I just wanna film us and watch it back later–sometime this week. Then we can delete it if you want. Please?"
Do I have any interest in watching myself have sex? Absolutely not. But...would I like to see how Harry looks when he's fucking me? Is that even a real question?
"O-okay," I nod more confidently than I sounded. "Yeah, let's do it."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," I sit up on my elbows as he reaches for his phone to open the camera roll.
I lie still on the bed while he props the device up on the nightstand the same way I did when I sent him the video that inspired Cinema. Once he's sure that the whole bed is in frame, removing two pillows from the setup, he laughs and hits record before coming back to me.
"What?" He smiles as I laugh and turn my head away from him.
"I feel like we have to perform now or something."
"Uh-uh," he shakes his head with a cute smile still, glancing at the camera. "It's just for us so just be yourself. You're so naturally sexy, you have no idea."
As he kisses me passionately again, it's easier for me to forget that we're being filmed at all. I start reciprocating his pace to move faster and a bit more desperate before he leaves my lips and makes his way down my body again. My heart is racing as I smile with my eyes closed, feeling his fingers tuck into my garter just to pull it down a couple of inches and replace the lace elastic with his tongue and lips.
Somehow, it's so much sexier to watch him pull it off with his hand rather than his teeth, maybe because it just reminds me of the way he takes my underwear off me before he goes ahead to do that next. My core flexes instinctively as he grabs the bottle of watermelon warming lubricant and unabashedly drizzles some from just under my bra, down my stomach, and to my core.
I exhale as he uses his thumb to start rubbing the smooth liquid into my clit, and I watch him as his eyes flicker wildly from my face to his hand. The warmth building under his calloused thumb brings another smile to my face as I try to close my thighs around his wrist, but he moves closer to me and pushes them right back open.
"Fuck, it feels good, yeah?" He breathes with me as I lift my hips for more of his touch everywhere.
"It feels so good," I confirm, lulling my head to the side and noticing the camera on the nightstand.
Surprisingly, I smile at the sight but only because I'm watching Harry as he concentrates on touching me in just the right way. I also find that I was right to want to watch him; he looks so fucking good from this diagonal angle, showing me part of his back as well as his profile.
Unbeknownst to him, I keep staring at him through the screen until he lowers himself to put his mouth on me again. My brows knit together in desperation as I touch his hair and turn my head in the opposite direction, pulling him closer to me.
The warmth the liquid is producing in combination with the excess wetness from myself and his tongue is too much. It's a good thing our house is separated from the others on the street because my moans are only getting louder as I feel myself getting closer to the edge, and Harry's loving every second of it as he lets me raise my hips up against his mouth and keeps sucking on my clit no matter how I move.
"I'm gonna cum," I smile in relief, gasping as he slips two long fingers in while his tongue keeps lapping at me.
"Cum, then," he tilts his head to kiss my clit with his tongue the same way he kisses my mouth, curling his fingers a bit faster until my back starts to arch.
"Harry," I breathe his name and feel myself squirming as my orgasm hits me, pulling at the duvet and trying to move my legs under his arms as he holds my thighs.
"Jesus Christ, Haven," he mumbles to himself as he brings me down, then slowly retracts his fingers to see my arousal webbing between them before he sucks on them.
"It's your turn now," I breathe, still trying to gather myself as he leans in to kiss me slowly. It's the kind of kiss that makes my eyes roll back and my body arch to him—the kind that makes me feel like I could have an orgasm without his touch on my body at all.
But still, he complies to lie down on his back in his briefs, allowing me to get up and sit between his thighs. He lifts his hips to help me take his underwear off, leaving his full erect length exposed and waiting for me to do anything to help relieve him the way he just relieved me.
On his elbows, he watches me hold the base of him in my loosely closed fist before I lean over to suck a soft kiss from the tip. I do that three times before taking him a little further, and a little further until he hits the back of my throat. That's my limit these days, but he never complains.
"Please don't stop," he holds the back of my neck, pressing down as I come up to swirl my tongue around his slightly red and swollen tip.
"You wanna cum like this?"
"No, but just–" He cuts himself off with another moan as I lightly sweep my thumb over the sensitive nerves there. "Just keep going."
That's when I grab the bottle to pour just a bit of the lube down his length and more on his abs and chest. His eyes are closed as I start massaging it into his skin, smiling once I take a firm hold of him in my fist again. He exhales a curse and starts thrusting gently into my hand, and my own jaw drops at the sight of him so turned on like this. Usually, he has a bit more control, but not now.
"I wanna fuck you," he breathes out. "Please."
I just about scoff in disbelief that he has to ask, but instead, I release him and lie down where I was before with my thighs open for him. His hair is now oily as he pushes his wet fingers through the freshly trimmed strands, but oh my God, does he look good. He's so tan in this lighting, his tattoos are so dark, he's glistening, and the divots in his muscles are more prominent in the shadows the lamps cast on him. He looks like a wet dream. Literally.
As he lines himself up with me and starts pushing in, I inhale and let my thighs open up further until they close around his waist again. He curses through clenched teeth before he falls forward with his palms on either side of my head. I part my lips for one kiss, then two, moaning on the third as he flexes his hips to get deeper inside of me. Then he starts to thrust in micro pulses as if he can't stand the idea of pulling out a full inch, which means his tip is kissing the right spot with every single short thrust.
"Fuck me," he takes my hands to hold in his own, pinning them to the mattress above my head and using them as leverage to start pumping his hips faster, sucking hard on my neck.
"Oh my God, H," I squeeze his hands and start rolling my hips to fuck him back. "It feels so fucking good, I can't–"
He moans right over my ear before kissing the spot underneath it, slowing his pace way down just to drive me crazy. He thinks it'll put off my orgasm but he's dead wrong.
"Fuck," he laughs through heavy breathing as I come undone for the second time, feeling myself gushing around him as he stays still to feel it too. "You're fucking drenching me, Hay."
"Keep fucking me," I respond, biting my smile back as he looks at me like he wants to know if I'm sure about that. I nod to reassure him.
"How do you want it?" He frowns in concentration.
"I don't care, but I want so much of it," I hope he understands what that means. "I want you all over me."
He kisses me hard before pulling out and asking me to get up on my hands and knees. I do as I'm told, smiling and facing away from him as I feel his hands kneading my ass again.
"Are you gonna fuck me or just stare?"
He scoffs behind me. "I'll do both, thank you very much."
I giggle genuinely before I feel his tip lining up with my entrance. I'm so soaking wet and aroused by this point that I hardly notice the stretch of him as he thrusts forward to bottom out, but I can feel him in the pit of my stomach, nudging against that spot with his fingertips bruising my skin.
"I fucking love it like this," he confesses. "You look so fucking good with your back arches and your ass pushing into me—Jesus Christ–"
I gasp as I suddenly feel his chest on my back as he leans over me, forcing me to lay down underneath him with his lips hot on the back of my neck. He's relentless in this position, rolling his hips at the same pace with the same energy until my hips are shifting back against him.
"Gonna cum for me again?" He nearly whines in my ear as I clutch his arm next to me, smiling uncontrollably.
"You want me to?"
"I always want you to," he almost cuts me off with his answer.
I smile as I wonder just how often he's thinking about sex with me and if it's as often as the statistics say that it is for all men. For the millionth time, I wish I could go inside his head and see how many times he sees us doing this in his mind throughout the day. The idea turns me on beyond belief.
"I love you so much, Hay," he mumbles softly, sliding his left hand up my arm to intertwine with mine so that our rings are together.
"I love you," I turn my head and let him kiss my cheek before he starts rolling his hips faster again, forcing the whole bed to shift with us.
When I want to see him better, he stops and lets me lie down on my back again so I can wrap myself around him and kiss him while he keeps a slower and steadier pace—the notorious "love-making" pace. I love it like this more than anything else, and I know he knows that as he bows his head to start kissing my neck, holding my thigh around his waist.
As I'm suddenly reminded again that he's my husband and we chose this for life, I feel emotional in the best way as I hold the back of his neck and say his name—the same name I'll be saying for the rest of my life.
"I'm close," he murmurs between kisses back up to my lips. "You feel so fucking good."
I look over at his phone and feel my stomach drop at the sigh of us tangled together, of him pushing his hips into mine, of his back muscles flexing, the veins in his arm popping out as he keeps stroking my thigh. I keep staring until I feel my walls pulsing sporadically around him again, and I hear him smiling as he curses and starts to spill into me. Even then, he keeps moving to fuck us both through it, and the fact that he can't seem to stop only makes my core keep pulsing.
"Oh my God, I wanna go again," he says as he kisses me. "It feels so good, I don't wanna stop."
I laugh at his breathlessness and the cute smile on his face, but it's anything but innocent. "After three orgasms, I think I need a small break."
He playfully rolls his eyes, but his smile remains as he pulls out to lie down right next to my side. We're both slick with the watermelon-scented oil, which makes me laugh as I think about why Katie got that flavor. Neither I nor Harry is going to live that stupid song down for the rest of our lives.
"Well, that was certainly overdue," he breaks the silence first.
I close my eyes to laugh. "Definitely. What were we thinking?"
"We weren't, clearly," he's still smiling as he brushes his thumb over my bottom lip. "You have no idea how excited I am to be married to you."
I swallow as the sweet confession settles right down at the bottom of my heart. I'll never understand how he can go from dirty-talking and fucking my brains out to looking at me and speaking to me as if I'm this fragile little thing—his fragile little thing.
"Yes, I do," I respond, trying not to cry like an idiot as I'm reminded that this is forever. Maybe I always thought it would be forever, but now I don't have to wonder if that's what he wants too. I know it.