***TRIGGERING CONTENT WARNING***
BADA'S POV:
Kirsten took me upstairs to talk away from the other girls. I have no idea what she is going to tell me though but I know she and Luna are like sisters. So I know it is only something that could benefit Luna right now. We go into my bedroom and Kirsten closes the door making sure we are out of ears reach.
"Look Bada, I know that look on Luna's face. I've seen it before when she was at one of the lowest points of her life and it's scaring me so much right now. We were just talking about how she was doing so much better but then this happened," she said tearing up. I sigh and lean into the edge of the bed.
"My point is, is that the look on her face was the same look she had when she tried to hurt herself all those years ago. I was stupid enough to let her deal with Haneul on her own, and I regret that so much, but I won't stand by and watch her hurt herself again. I just can't," she says breaking down.
I get up from the bed and bring her into a hug. I know this can't be easy for her at all seeing someone she so dearly loves in such a dark place. It hurts me that she has an idea of what might be going on inside of Luna's head and if it's anything like she says it is, then we need to figure out how to fix it fast. I won't allow Luna to lose herself. She's stronger than this, I know it.
"Why are you two hugging?" A voice says from the door. I hadn't noticed it opened up. It was Luna at the door. I quickly took a step back from Kirsten as I saw the blank look on Luna's face.
"So what, I tell you she's my girlfriend and you try to get with her now? Is that it?" she says to Kirsten as she comes up to us.
"We tried to stop her," the other girls say out of breath as they made it up the stairs.
"Lulu you know it's not like that," Kirsten says. But Luna scoffs and laughs. I don't know what's going through her mind right now but it's not good at all.
"Yeah right, you wanna take the one good thing in my life away from me, right? Well, you can't. She doesn't want you Kirsten so back off," she says. I could tell she was only saying this stuff out of anger from what happened downstairs.
"Baby, it's not like that, you know we'd never do something like that to you love," I say going to touch her arm but she pulls back from me. I could tell she's hurting so much right now but she doesn't know how to let her emotions out, so she's taking it out on all of us.
"Get out Kirsten," Luna says sternly while looking at me. I know Luna and this isn't like her at all. She's hurting so much and is just saying anything that comes to her mind.
"What?" Kirsten says as a tear runs down her face. Luna was hurting her so much but I know Kirsten can understand Luna's anger and not to take it personally.
"I said get out," she says turning to face Kirsten and then pushing her out of the room.
"Matter of fact, you all can get out. So take your shit and go," she says grabbing all of their things from the living room. I had to stop her before she did or said something she wouldn't be able to come back from.
"Luna, look at me. They were just trying to help you, baby. No one here wants to see you hurt okay? Kirsten was only trying to tell me how we can help you," I tell her holding her arms. She was shaking in my touch.
"I don't need help. You saw what your agent said. You guys shouldn't be here anyway. So go!" she says picking up their clothes and throwing them on the floor.
"Luna," I say sternly. I get she's hurting right now but being this way to her closest friends who love and care for her like family isn't right.
"Just go!" Luna says frustratedly. All of the girls make their way out of the door but Kirsten waits to leave.
"Luna, just look at me," Kirsten says. Luna contemplates for a few seconds then shifts her gaze to Kirsten.
"Just don't do anything stupid Luna. It's not worth it, I promise you. None of it is worth going back to that place," she finally says then leaves. Luna stands here in the living room dumbstruck by what Kirsten just told her. Tears are rolling down her cheeks yet she's standing there as though they were not falling.
"Luna, baby?" I say and she just stands there for a few minutes taking in everything. Then a few minutes later, she heads upstairs without saying a word.
When I make it upstairs after her, she's in the closet taking down her suitcase.
"I fucked up," was all she said as she opened the case and started throwing clothes in it.
"Baby," I say coming up to her slowly. But she couldn't hear me. She kept mumbling to herself about messing up and she kept saying sorry.
"Baby look at me," I said grabbing her and turning her towards me. She was shaking even more as tears slipped out of her precious eyes.
"I'm sorry," she said as she collapsed on the floor crying hysterically. I brought her to my embrace as I held her in my arms.
"It's ok my love," I kept saying to her. In the middle of her crying, she suddenly got up and started pacing around the floor.
"I just wanted to be alone for a little while. I needed a little time. I thought I was fine but I wasn't and now I've made everyone hate me," she said pacing around as she kept rubbing a hand up and down her face.
"No one hates you love, I promise. They know you didn't mean any of that," I said walking over to her.
"I'm so sorry Bada, I didn't mean to accuse you and Kirsten. I know she'd never do that to me. I w-was just so mad. I, I don't know why I did any of that. I was just so mad at myself, now you hate me too" she said sobbing. My heart was breaking so much at how hurt Luna was right now. It hurt me to see her like this.
"It's okay my love, it's okay. I could never hate you Luna, you know that," I said caressing her back as I hugged her.
"I thought I would be fine but I'm not. I thought I could be okay with all of this but it's eating me up inside Bada. I hate it so much," she says falling to her knees in my embrace. We stayed there on the ground for a while as she cried her eyes out.
After a while, her cries got softer and her breathing became even so I knew she fell asleep. I gently pick her up and take her out of the closet then carefully lay her in bed and tuck her in. My precious Luna is hurting so badly right now and I have no idea how to help her. It pains me to see her like this.
After a few minutes of watching her sleep to make sure she doesn't wake up, I make my way downstairs and clean up. Although it was a bunch of us tonight, we were able to keep it quite clean so it didn't take too long to clean up. When I finished putting all of the food away, I made my way back upstairs to check on Luna.
She was sleeping soundly so I decided to give Kirsten a call downstairs.
"Bada?" Kirsten said over the phone.
"Hey, I just wanted to call and check in with you guys."
"We're fine. The girls are extremely confused about everything but I told them I'll explain another time,"
"Look Kirst, Luna never meant any of the things she said to you. After you all left she told me all of it was a mistake and she regrets talking to you all like that,"
"I know Bada. We just got to give her some time. Earlier today, she told me about the two of you. I had my suspicions earlier on but they were confirmed today. I know you'll treat her great Bada. I just ask that you be patient with her. I can see how much she loves you Bada and she would put you before herself. Just please, be patient. You're the one good thing in her life that she truly loves Bada,"
"I love Luna so much, Kirsten. Nothing she says or does will ever make me leave her. I will be here for her whenever she needs me and however long it takes. I'm not going anywhere,"
"Thank you, Bada, so much. You make her so happy and knowing she has someone as great as you by her side puts my heart at ease. You two were made for each other,"
"I love her so much. And Kirst, I'm not the only good thing she has in her life. You and the girls are her family. She loves you guys so much. She looks up to each one of you, especially you Kirsten. I know she's like a sister to you and she appreciates everything you've done for her. Luna loves you guys so much Kirsten,"
"I know"
"Don't cry okay? This was just one of those bad days. We're all gonna do our best to help her Kirst. I know Luna and she's gonna want to put all of us before her and tell us she's okay but we gotta do our best to put her first. It's gonna be hard but we can do this,"
"I know. Ugh I'm just getting all emotional right now. Hey is she doing okay right now?"
"Yeah, she fell asleep a while ago. I'll call you tomorrow to check in okay?"
"Alright, thanks so much for all of this Bada,"
"Of course, I'll talk to you later. Goodnight,"
"Night Bada,"
I made my way upstairs to the bedroom, Luna was still sound asleep so I gently crept into bed making sure not to wake her. I want her to have a good night's sleep after tonight. I know all that crying must've made her tired. Tomorrow, we can have a day in and we'll just enjoy each other. Nothing too harsh after today. Oh, I need to make sure I wake up early to buy her favorite ice cream and breakfast tomorrow too. I want to do everything I can to make her as content as she can be.
THE NEXT MORNING
I woke up around nine in the morning while Luna was still asleep. She's had a long night so I make sure not to wake her as I got ready. I have to go out a get a few things before Luna wakes up. I want to make sure today is a stress-free day for her. It sucks that she can never get a mental break and all this bad stuff just keeps happening to her. She deserves so much more in the world. Luna is such a kind soul so to see her having such a hard time after all the goodness she's given out hurts me.
Before I head out, I make sure Luna is sleeping soundly then make my way downstairs and out the door. My plan today is to do some of her favorite hobbies and just let her have a good time doing something she loves. I head over to my mom's craft studio so she can help me out.
"Eomma" I scream out as I see her putting out one of her vases she just made to dry. She almost drops it.
"Sorry, mom," I said giving her a kiss on the cheek and I hug.
"Hi my baby, why didn't you tell me you were stopping by?"
"Uh, it was a spontaneous trip so I forgot to call. Are you busy?"
"Never busy for my kids. But you never stop by the studio after the incident,"
"I know but I need your help with something. Umm has Dae Hyun spoken to you about anything yet?" I ask wondering if she knows I'm in a relationship.
"About them giving me another grandbaby?" she asks. So she doesn't know about me and Luna.
"Oh no not about that. Umm, is it alright if we go sit down and talk for a few minutes?"
"Of course, come into the lounge and I'll get us some coffee."
We walk into the lounge and I'm feeling super nervous. I'm about to tell my mom about me being into girls and this can go one of two ways: 1. She'll be happy for me and accept me for who I am and who I love/2. She will be shocked and ask me to leave.
My brother and his wife are the first ones to know about me. It was easy telling them, well I didn't have to tell them because they already knew, so I hope it will be just like then.
"Here you go sweetie, so what do you want to talk about?"
"Mom, I have something very important to tell you okay? And whatever you think after won't change anything about how I feel, I just need you to know," I say.
"What is it? Are you sick or something?" she asks scared.
"No, nothing like that,"
"Then you can tell me whatever it is Bada. I could never hate any of my kids,"
"Mom, I'm in a relationship right now," I say briefly and my mom gasps.
"Omo! I'm so happy for you Bada. I always thought you'd be alone forever," she jokes
"When can I meet him?" she asks
"Uhh, he's a she. I have a girlfriend omma," I say nervously as she is about to take another sip of her coffee, but she stops before it touches her lips.
She thinks to herself for a second then drinks her coffee and places it back on the table in silence. Not a word. My heart sinks at this moment. No matter how happy I'd be with Luna, I always wanted the support of my family with me.
"Eomma?" I say as my eyes begin to water up and tears start slipping away.
"Oh sweetie," she says before wiping the tears away.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just thinking to myself Bada,"
"So you don't hate me?" I ask scared.
"Of course not Bada. You are my child. I will never hate you. I'm sorry to make you cry sweetie. I was just trying to collect my thoughts. I don't know, as a mother, I was just wondering when it first happened or if you've always been like this. I feel bad that I never knew. Like how can I not know my child?" she says tearing up.
"Mom you don't have to think like that. I don't think there was a specific time, I kinda just always knew. Are you sure you're not mad?"
"I'm far from it sweetie. If anything I'm super excited to meet her. She's gotta be one strong girl to put up with you," she says playfully.
"She is strong, very strong. That's kinda why I came over. She's dealing with some stuff right now and having a hard time. I wanted to do something to help her relax and she loves doing crafts. I was wondering if you had any ideas about what activities we could do."
"Yay, I'm already on mother-in-law duties," she says clapping her hand enthusiastically making me laugh and smile hard.
"I wouldn't go as far as that just yet, but yeah. I knew you're like the crafty queen of Seoul so I had to come to you for ideas."
"Ok, I've got a few different mini projects you guys could do together. They shouldn't take more than an hour for each one. Two tops," she says as she gets up and walks towards her studio and I follow her. By the time my trip there was done, my mom left me with a few canvases, a bunch of paint, some DIY jewelry pieces, and some clay we could use and bake quickly.
"Make sure you bring my daughter-in-law over soon. I've got to meet her and thank her for taking you off our hands," she says playfully.
"You'll meet her soon. After this stuff has passed, I'll introduce her to everyone formally. She's already met Dae Hyun and his wife and kids so it's just you and dad left. Oh and about dad, could you tell him al of this for me,"
"Why can't you tell him yourself?"
"It's nerve-racking telling it. I almost had a heart attack telling you and seeing your expression,"
"He's not gonna be mad Bada. As long as you're happy and healthy, that's all that matters to any of us. Plus he's your father, he'll wanna hear it from you,"
"He was your husband before he was my father, so you know him more," I say playfully.
"Please tell him for me," I yell as I speed off in my car and blow an air kiss at her. I'd rather not have this conversation again for a while. It'd be a lot easier if he just knew right now but I'm too busy to tell him at the moment.
I decided to go to a bookstore for another activity and pick up a few books Luna has told me are on her TBR list and a few options for me so we can have a reading time. After the bookstore, I went to a grocery store to buy ingredients for dinner tonight. I'm gonna make one of the dishes Luna loves from me.
Before I head back home, I make my way to Luna's favorite ice cream parlor and get her a big tub of her favorite rocky road with extra chocolate truffles, coconut shavings, and sprinkles.
After, I quickly went to the cafe near the house and picked up some coffee and breakfast. Just as I was about to leave, I saw a lady across the street selling bouquets of flowers and went and bought a bouquet of pink tulips and gypsophila. After buying the flowers I headed home to see my baby.