After hearing the girls gossip about my life, my mind kind of went blank. Well not blank, more like it was processing everything. I wasn't paying attention when Bada came up to me to put some things in the basket, so I accidentally dropped the basket on the floor making some items fall out. Great, now those girls who were talking about me just came to this aisle too, just what I needed right now.
"Sorry," I say to one of the girls because an item rolled over to her. She picked it up and tried to hand it to me, but I kept my head down and pulled my hoodie on tighter making sure my hair blocked my face. I didn't want them to know I heard what they said or to even recognize me right now.
"Thank you," I said to the girl who handed me the can that rolled towards her and bowed respectfully, making sure my face never showed. I went back over to our basket and hurried to put everything back in there.
"What's wrong baby?" Bada asked as she saw I was trying to cover myself.
"Uhh, can I wait outside?" I asked Bada. She nodded her head and without giving it a second thought, I rushed toward the entrance of the store and went to the side of the building. Ugh, I can't believe it was already happening, as if today couldn't get any worse than it already was. I crouched down to hug my knees for a few moments as I tried to collect my thoughts. Freaking out right now isn't what I need to do. I already knew this day was coming sooner or later so why am I still so hurt and shocked?
I guess I didn't prepare myself enough to get talked about in the world, or Korea for that matter. I was a black girl in Korea so it wasn't too hard to spot me out in public so of course people are going to know who I was. I just wished my personal business didn't have to get out in the open like it is right now because it truly isn't anyone's business. My life is just that, my life. I don't feel like being judged or looked at differently because of my past situations.
A few minutes later, Bada comes outside. I heard her calling my name so I got back up and waved to her and she came jogging towards me.
"Is everything alright love?" Bada asked. I put on a weak smile to try and mask my emotions. I'm trying to fake til I make it at this point.
"I guess the news about me is already out in the open. I heard those girls in there talking about me so I just wanted to get out of there before they saw me," I said trying to sound like it wasn't affecting me, but deep down my insides were still turning. Bada came closer to me and wrapped me into her embrace as she shoved my face into her coat to give me a bear hug.
"I'm so sorry love," Bada said.
"Yeah well, it is what it is. We knew this would happen eventually," I said backing away.
"I know but that doesn't make it any less hard to go through love. You're allowed to feel sad and hurt right now. You don't have to hide your emotions with me, baby," she said caressing my arm.
"I know, I just feel like all I do nowadays is cry. I know you didn't sign up to have a crybaby around 24/7." I said laughing a little to try and find some kind of laughter in this situation.
"I signed up for all of you my love. Everything that comes with you is now stuck with me and I love everything about you. And even though I hate seeing you cry, you're such a pretty crier," Bada said to which I laughed. At least I'm a pretty crier, that's a plus, right?
"Come on love, let's go home," Bada said before taking my hand in hers.
"Are you sure you're okay being around me with all these rumors going around?" I asked Bada curiously.
"People can think whatever they want to think about us. I'm never leaving you, my love. Plus, I think I'll just start another rumor of my own," she said matter-of-factly.
"Oh yeah? What rumor," I asked curiously.
"That we're married," she cooed in my ear then giggled. I softly slap her arm and she goes running up the hill to the house.
"Come catch me my wifey," she yells and laughs a few feet away from me.
"Bada be quiet, someone will hear you," I yell-shout at her as I try to catch up.
"That's the whole point," she tells me as she laughs her way down the street.
When we make it home together, she yells when we get inside the front door.
"The newlyweds are home," as it echoes through the house. We both break out into laughter as we enter the kitchen but our laughter subsides when we see Doctor Lee and his family sitting on Bada's couch.
"Dae Hyun?" Bada says in shock.
"Lu lu," both the kids say as they run up to me. I bend down to give them both a hug.
"Hi my babies," I say to them.
"What are you guys doing here?" Bada asks waiting for an answer as to why they are here right now.
"We were calling you but you weren't answering. We were in the neighborhood and decided to stop by," her brother says.
"So you guys decided to trespass and break into my house," Bada says with her arms folded.
"I wouldn't consider this breaking and entering, more like visiting," the woman says waving her hand at Bada. I'm assuming she's Soo-min. Wow, she looks like one of those rich older sister's you'd see in dramas. You know the one's who'd be like 'Here's a million dollars for you to stay away from our family' type. This family looks like the elite.
"And you must be the famous Luna," Soo-min said coming up to hug me. Her hug felt so gentle and sweet, just like a mother's touch.
"It's really nice to meet you, I've heard so many great things about you," I said to her. Before I could engage in more conversation with her, Bada pulled me over to the side to talk. We went into the kitchen where they couldn't see us.
"Baby, I know this has been a tough day for you so I can ask them to leave and we'll see them some other time," Bada says.
"No, it's okay. I'm happy they're all here," I said honestly.
"Are you sure? We can see them tomorrow so you can get some sleep right now,"
"I swear baby. I'm fine. Plus I finally get to meet Soo-min. She looks so cool," I squeal feeling excited to make a new friend tonight.
"And I'm so happy to see the kids," I said.
"Alright, just let me know if you get tired and I'll kick them all out," Bada said.
"You're gonna kick out your family?" I questioned her jokingly.
"I can always see them. Plus making you happy comes first now," she said smiling then brought me into her embrace. She laced her arms around my waist and pulled me close.
"Man, now I have to beat Dae Hyun up for messing up our night," she said. I looked at her oddly wondering what big event we had tonight.
"Our night?" I asked.
"I was gonna smother you with kisses and cuddle all night long. Now I can't do it anymore," she said in a pouty tone which made me giggle.
"Go ahead and get the kisses out of your system," I said to her and she didn't hesitate to start peppering my face with kisses. She stopped just a little next to my lip and I pouted wanting to feel her lips on mine. And just before it happened, Dae Hyun walks into the kitchen with He Min. When he spotted me and Bada about to kiss, he gasped then covered He Min's eyes and swiveled her back to the exit of the kitchen with a 'sorry' following. Bada and I broke out into laughter as He Min wondered why her dad was covering her eyes and pushing her out of the kitchen.
We both walked out of the kitchen with red faces feeling slightly embarrassed that we almost got caught making out. Note to self, hands off wifey until her family has gone home.
"Bada what happened to your hands?" her brother asked looking at the bandages. Oh crap, I forgot about those.
"Oh nothing, I was dancing and fell but I'm fine," she lied to him. I hated she had to lie to him about this. I didn't mind her telling the truth about the situation a little but I'm not too sure how much he knows.
"You gotta be more careful, especially for a dancer. One wrong move and you can be off your feet for good," he said seriously. Bada gave him a thumbs-up to let him know she was fine and wouldn't get hurt again.
"So I see you two kids are living it up in here," Soo-min says with a smirk. I'm pretty sure Dae Hyun told her what he just witnessed which only made my face go more red.
"Kids? I'm older than the both of you," Bada says.
"But Luna's younger than us, thus making you a child to me," Soo-min said sticking out her tongue mockingly. You could tell how close they were with their sibling-like banter. Bada was about to flip her off but I stopped her because the kids were around.
"Bada please, have some not in front of the children, have some decorum" I said making sure the kids didn't see her almost middle finger go up. I did not need Bada to be the aunt to teach them all the bad words and hand gestures. Soo-min and Dae Hyun both laughed.
"That's more like it. We needed someone to put Bada in her place. I approve," Soo-min says.
"And I officially like Luna more than you," Soo-min said sitting closer to me and grabbing my arm. Hah, point for me. Take that Bada.
"Uh uh," Bada said slicing our arms apart and pulling me closer to herself.
"She's mine," Bada said which made me laugh.
"Fine, fine," Soo-min said with her hands up in defense. But she scooted a little closer to whisper to me, but just enough to let Bada hear.
"We'll go on a secret girl's day out without Bada soon," she said to which I nodded eagerly. Bada shooed her hand in front of Soo-min's face but me and Soo-min shot each other secret thumbs up.
"Dae Hyun, get your wife," Bada said.
"Hey, she was your friend first," he said with a shrug and laugh as he checked his phone for something. I couldn't help but laugh at their relationship with each other. You could tell how close they all were.
Soo-min went over to sit next to her husband and we all engaged in a conversation. The kids came and sat with me with He Min in my lap and Ha Joon next to me on my phone.
"Congratulations on the pregnancy Soo-Min. You have the cutest kids ever and I can't wait to see the baby," I say to her.
"Thank you, honey. One of these days, you're gonna have to give my kids some cousins. You would be such an amazing mother. The kids talk so fondly of you, plus you would be so adorable pregnant. Plus I can give you some maternity things and we can go and..." she said but Bada cut her off.
"Soo-min, we just started dating, slow down a bit," Bada said.
"All I'm saying is pregnancy is such an amazing thing to experience. You get to feel the baby kicking, you get all these odd cravings and mood swings. It's hard but so worth it in the end," Soo-Min explained. I couldn't help but feel a sting of pain in my chest. I remember back when I was pregnant all those years ago what it was like.
Of course, the situation was horrible, but I still remember what it felt like to be pregnant. Around the time my aunt had gone to rehab, the baby was big enough for me to feel it kick. I remember feeling the little flutters inside of me and the baby moving around. All of the things Soo-Min mentioned, I remembered. That entire situation still pains me terribly though. I think losing the baby did something horrible to me back then. Despite the circumstances, I was so far in my pregnancy that the baby was an actual baby at the time, and I don't know, losing it affected me really badly.
I think Bada could see me getting a bit uncomfortable with the conversation so she brought her hand over to mine and gave a gentle yet reassuring squeeze to let me know I'm seen and she sees me.
After a while of still talking, the kids both fell asleep on me. The four of us were still talking though.
"Are you guys staying over? I'll go and get the guest room ready," I said to them.
"Oh no sweety," Soo-min says looking down at her watch.
"It's getting quite late so we'll get out of you guys' hair," she said.
"You guys are always welcome to stay," I said hoping it didn't seem like I wanted them to go. I was just wondering if I could go put the little ones to sleep in their bed upstairs. I really like spending time with Dae Hyun and Soo-min. They are both such amazing people and wonderful parents.
"No, we should get going, plus Dae Hyun has to be up early for work tomorrow. But is it alright if we get together for dinner sometime soon? Oh, and I was serious about that girl's days. We can go to the spa and get our nails done after if you want," she suggested.
"I would love that," I said as we got up to walk them to their car. I was still carrying He Min and Bada was carrying Ha Joon. When we got to the car we placed them both in the backseat and strapped them in. After closing the door, I gave Soo-min and Dae Hyun a hug goodbye and the both of them set off for the night.
Bada and I made our way back inside the house and went upstairs to get ready for bed. I used the guest bathroom to shower as Bada used the main. When I was finished, I decided to go into Bada's bathroom in my towel so we could do our skincare together. The both of us were finishing our nightly routine together.
"I'm sorry about earlier, Soo-min sometimes doesn't know when to read the room and she just says whatever she wants to without thinking," Bada said as she put down her moisturizer and came to stand behind me.
"It's alright, it's not like she'd know what happened. Plus she was just being nice. And she's an amazing mother who had two, going on three, amazing children. Of course, she's gonna brag about how amazing it is for her. I'm not mad at her or anything, if anything it made me admire her so much more. I love how much she loves motherhood," I said to her as I finished up my skincare. Bada just stared at me through the mirror.
"What's wrong? Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked.
"You're just so perfect Luna. Every day, I just love you so much more and more. I'm just trying to understand how none of this hurts you?" she asked seriously curious.
"Of course, it still hurts me, Bada. Every day it hurts. Some days are better than others but I can't dwell on the past. I've gotta keep moving forward because being stuck in the past won't get me where I need to be in life. And I can't hate other people for getting the hand I wished I was dealt with in life, that's just not fair to others. I can do nothing more than appreciate the people around me and their lives. Me being jealous isn't gonna help me level up as a person," I said with a shrug. Everything I said was true. Yes, I'm still hurt about what happened to me but keeping my mind in the past won't do me any justice, and being hateful towards others isn't good either. I have nothing but admiration and love for Soo-min.
Bada brought me closer to her as she hugged me from behind. She then kissed my shoulder and moved towards my neck.
"I really love you, Luna, so much," she said resting her face in the crook of my neck. I smile at how sweet she is.
"Alright, let me go get dressed for bed," I said patting the side of her head.
"Can I help you get dressed?" she asked kissing my cheek but I gave her a stare that said, "Not even in your wildest dreams".
"Hey, it was worth a try," she said with her hands up in defense which made me laugh at her silliness.
"After I finished getting dressed for bed, I made my way back into the bathroom to put on Bada's infamous perfume.
"Wow, I was wondering why that was going down so quickly," Bada said to me as she lay in bed watching me spray the perfume all over me. She looked so sexy and sprawled out like that in bed with her right arm behind her head and her left leg out in front of her.
"I like to smell like you," I said happily. This perfume was surely on my rob list. After I was done in the bathroom, I crawled into bed with her.
"You look really sexy right now," I said crawling on top of her so I was straddling her.
"Oh yeah?" she said with a smirk.
"Mmm-hmm," I said and leaned in to kiss her. We made out for a few minutes then laid down to cuddle. Bada wrapped me in her arms under the covers as she lay her head on top of mine.
"Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if it's a touchy subject," Bada said.
"Sure, what's up?" I asked curious. She pauses for a moment wondering if she should ask her question, but goes ahead and asks.
"Do you ever want kids in the future?" she asked. I took a moment to figure out what my answer would be but knew exactly what I wanted.
"Yeah. I think as I got older, I always wanted to settle down and start a family one day if I found the perfect person to be with," I said and Bada hummed in response.
"Am I your perfect person?" she asked. I pulled back a little out of her embrace so I could get a good look at her.
"You are the most perfect person there is Bada. I couldn't think of a life together with anyone other than you my love," I said smiling up at her and she gave me the brightest smile ever.
"Now the real question is, who's gonna get pregnant first?" I asked jokingly. Bada immediately threw her hands up.
"Not it," she yelled which made me laugh.
"And why not," I asked through my giggles.
"I don't know, I guess I never had the 'urge' to give birth. Plus, it scares the crap out of me, Soo-min always made me go with her when she gave birth and to say I'm traumatized would be an understatement," she said.
"Aww, so no little Bada's running around," I said with a pout.
"I'll just give you my egg," she said smiling.
"A win is a win," she said and we both broke out into laughter.
"When do you want kids?" I asked.
"I guess in the next few years. I'm about to hit thirty but I won't mind if it's after. If you're gonna carry them, it's your choice when you want to get pregnant. Whenever you're fully ready," she said and I nodded.
Sounded like a solid plan. I definitely won't be having any little ones any time soon, especially not when there is just so much drama around me. I need to when I am at a stable point in my life. I turned twenty-three a while ago so I'll say maybe around twenty-five or so. That way Bada can meet her thirty-year mark.
"Of course, before we have kids though, we should get married," Bada said.
"You really wanna marry me?" I asked in a joking tone but I seriously wanted to know if she wanted to be with me forever.
"Honestly Luna, I think, no, I know you're the person for me. Even as friends, I felt such a strong connection and bond with you. I couldn't ask for a better partner to spend the rest of my life with," Bada said.
"I feel like I got promoted to fiance status in less than a week of dating. That's a new record," I said laughing at how quick-paced we were going. Well not really "going" per say, but more so talking about. But I think it's because we've been besties for so long and had such a strong bond then that it just seems natural to talk like this now.
"What can I say, true love makes us do crazy things," Bada responded.
"Yeah. But we can't get married any time soon. Let's take some time to figure this all out, hmm? Then, after some time and years, we'll really think about marriage. For now, we'll just fantasize about the future and our wants," I said snuggling up to Bada. Then I heard Bada starting to giggle above me.
"What's so funny?" I asked laughing too because I was curious about what was so funny.
"Imma start planning our wedding," she said through giggles. This girl, I swear.
"What did I just say Bada," I said giggling.
"In my defense, you said we can fantasize about the future. My fantasy will be my Pinterest board of our wedding colors and locations," she said happily. I shook my head in defeat. There was no reasoning with this girl. I'll let her stay in her little delulu world peacefully, for now.
"Of course my darling," I said sleepily as I yawned and patted her head.
"You're gonna wake up tomorrow with wedding catalogs all over the house, might even just do a mock wedding for the heck of it," Bada said laughing. I could tell she was falling asleep because of her voice and it only made the situation that much funnier. Sleepy and delusional Bada was hilarious.
"Go to sleep my love, dream about my perfect wedding dress," I said and she nodded her head.
"Goodnight baby," she said.
"Goodnight love," and with that we both fell asleep on a happy note.
Despite how hectic this day was and all the emotions it brought, I was glad we could fall asleep with light hearts and happy minds. She really is the perfect person for me and I couldn't be happier than I am with her.