tony has a bad history with being told to shut up, and the avengers make it worse
set after avengers; everyone lives in the tower bla bla
tw: self-hatred, ptsd, selective mutism
~NO POV~
Tony Stark loved to talk. He loved to talk to his friends, to his bots, to JARVIS. He loved to talk to the point it pissed off random businessmen, random people in general. He didn't care when people told him to shut up, because they weren't important to him.
It did hurt, though, when people he cared about shouted at him. It hurt when Howard told him to shut up for anything and everything, when Obadiah got fed up of him rambling about his projects, when his teachers yelled at him for talking too much, when the older students around him got tired of him running his mouth.
He didn't care about his teachers or classmates, but back then, he was young and more emotional, so it hurt. But as he grew up, when Howard was gone, he learned to not care. If people weren't important, it didn't matter if they told him to shut up.
He reacted badly when people he cared about told him to shut up. For a little while, after being told to shut up, he would stay quiet. He wouldn't talk at all. It was usually Jarvis who broke him out of his silence.
He was a lot more quiet when he was a teenager, just because it seemed like everyone around him hated the sound of his voice. He became less quiet in MIT. Rhodey could handle his never-ending rambling. But the reaction he had to being told to shut up was different with Rhodey. It was worse, and eye-opening.
See, it wasn't Rhodey's fault. It was exam season, and Tony found it easier to study and revise by speaking aloud. Rhodey was the opposite, preferring to revise in silence, the only thing he could listen to was music.
Rhodey had never told Tony to shut up, not harshly. He only ever said it affectionately, and Tony knew that. But this one time, Rhodey just couldn't handle it. The stress of exams was getting to him and Tony's voice was just too much. He was patient with Tony, always. This time, he couldn't be.
"Would you just shut up, Tony. I can't study like this. I need you to shut up for once in your life, please."
Tony stilled. He physically stilled, and he wanted to apologise. He wanted to say sorry, say he didn't mean to bother Rhodey. He wanted to explain, but that would just be more annoying. So he nodded, and then he realised he couldn't revise like this either.
So he went to the field to study, and he was going to talk to himself, because that helped. But he couldn't. He had done this a lot when he was at home, but this felt worse. He chose to be silent at home, but here, he couldn't talk. He couldn't speak.
He put his hand on his throat and felt his vocal chords. They were there, obviously. He wasn't suddenly voiceless because of a physical injury. He couldn't talk and there was no explanation why, and he was panicking. He was panicking because he couldn't talk.
He couldn't talk.
He didn't return to his dorm until he knew Rhodey was fast asleep. And when Rhodey woke up in the morning, Tony pretended to be asleep. He couldn't let Rhodey know that he had fucked up and somehow gone mute.
It took weeks of avoidance for Rhodey to realise what was wrong. He tried talking to Tony, but Tony was dismissive, always going off to study. Rhodey thought it was fine, because exams were important and they could go back to normal after. But then exams were over and Tony was still avoiding him.
Eventually, Rhodey managed to keep Tony in the room, and asked him what was wrong. But Tony wouldn't speak, couldn't speak.
Rhodey realised what was wrong and felt ill.
It was that night that he did some obsessive researching and figured out that Tony might have selective mutism. He figured out he was the trigger, and then, when he reassured Tony enough, when he told Tony it was okay to speak, that he was sorry for shouting, he had eventually managed to coax Tony into speaking.
Tony cried, first, before he could finally say something. But then he did, and it was sorry. Rhodey cried with him and they had a long talk about Tony's childhood. Rhodey was patient when Tony stuttered, when he struggled to keep talking. He was patient and loving and kind, and that was what everyone else failed to be.
Rhodey told Tony he loved him that night, and that he wouldn't ever hurt him again.
He stayed true to his words.
Pepper was safe. Pepper was never mean. She got fed up of Tony on several occasions, and had told Tony to shut up before, but she never meant it in a bad way. She, like Rhodey, was patient. And she was safe.
Tony loved Pepper too. She was important to him.
But she didn't know about Tony's childhood, or that there was a chance that Tony had selective mutism. So she also didn't know what to do when she made Tony stop speaking.
It was the same case with Rhodey, with her. She didn't mean to hurt Tony. She was tired and spent far too much time in meetings. She wanted to sit down and take her heels off and relax, but she had to quickly sort one more thing out before she could.
"Can you summarise this for me, so I know a little bit about it before the meeting?"
Tony was excited when she asked. He loved talking about his projects. Sometimes the things he built didn't spark much of an interest for him, because it was for the company and not a personal project. But this one was, and he was excited to have it out there, maybe, and have other people enjoy it.
So he rambled. He started talking about how excited he was, and then talked about the intricate structure and design, the functions and the aesthetics. He was even about to tap into the four-week business course he took for fun when he was fifteen, but then Pepper snapped.
"God, just shut up, Tony." Pepper yelled. "I asked for a short summary. I didn't ask you to explain the whole thing to me. I spend all day listening to men try to mansplain things to me, and that I can deal with because I know better than them. But you know I don't understand this, and you know that bothers me sometimes. I have had a long day, Tony, I do not need you making it longer."
Tony felt that panicky feeling start to bubble up in his throat. "Sorry. I'll- JARVIS can explain. He'll send an- an email."
"Forget it." Pepper walked away.
"I'm- so- so-r, so, fuck." Tony swallowed uncomfortably. That stupid feeling was coming back, and words were hard to say. He couldn't fucking speak. He hadn't felt like this since Obadiah died. It had been years since he struggled to speak.
"I've put up a holographic keyboard for you, sir. Is there anything you'd like me to do?"
JARVIS was aware of Tony's selective mutism. When Obadiah had ripped the reactor out of his chest, the last thing he said to Tony was to shut up. Obadiah knew what he'd done, and Tony ended up locked in his workshop, unable to form the words call Rhodey. JARVIS analysed the situation and came up with a diagnosis.
Selective mutism, just like Rhodey said.
It didn't feel any better when his AI had told him he had it too. But it was better when JARVIS built himself a protocol to help Tony, and was there, sending people to his door with food when Tony needed to eat, reminding him when to eat and shower. It took two weeks for Tony to talk again, with JARVIS and Rhodey's help.
Because, of course, JARVIS learnt to call Rhodey too.
"I could call Colonel Rhodes."
No, Tony typed into the keyboard. Don't call him. I'll be fine.
"Sir, I really believe it would help if he was here."
Tony just shook his head this time.
JARVIS didn't disobey. He helped Tony to the best of his ability for the next few days.
Pepper came by a few days later, realising Tony hadn't called her excessively, or sent new prototypes or ideas. She knew Tony well enough to know that meant something was wrong. She didn't know what to do when JARVIS gave her the silent treatment, refusing to open the workshop.
She just typed her override code in and walked into the workshop.
"Why's JARVIS mad at me?" She asked.
Tony looked at her, and the panicked feeling returned. She didn't know. She couldn't know. She didn't realise after Obadiah, and she couldn't realise now. He loved Pepper, but he didn't want her to know he was a liability. That he was so fucked up that two words made him mute. That this had happened before.
"Tony? What's wrong?"
He shook his head.
"Tony?" She walked closer. "Tony, talk to me. What's wrong?"
"If I may, Miss Potts-"
Tony glared at the nearest camera. He couldn't let JARVIS rat him out.
"Tony- Tony, why aren't you speaking?" She was worried now. This was so unlike him. "Is this because I told you to shut up the other day? I didn't mean it. I was just tired and stressed, and you were rambling too much."
Tony shrugged.
"The silent treatment is a bit childish. Come on. You can talk, you know? I'm not mad at you."
He didn't, couldn't tell her that this wasn't the silent treatment. He could not speak and it wasn't really her fault, even though she had triggered it. He wanted her to know he wasn't being childish, but he couldn't say it.
"Tony." Pepper said slowly. "Will you please talk to me?"
Tony shook his head again, trying to blink back tears. He couldn't do this again. It was so, so hard being mute, and not even being able to control it. He wanted to talk so fucking badly.
"May I, sir?"
Tony kept shaking his head, collapsing against the bench with tears in his eyes. Pepper immediately stood next to him, holding him, not knowing what to do. Something was seriously wrong with Tony and she didn't know what.
"Tony, you have to tell me what's wrong."
"He can't."
"What do you mean, he can't?"
"Sir cannot talk right now."
"What is JARVIS on about? Tony, please, let him tell me. If you can't, let him."
Tony felt completely powerless. He hated it so much. He knew that, logically, JARVIS was right in wanting Pepper to know. She had to know. She was important enough to him to make him mute. She should know, so that it wouldn't happen again.
"Can he?"
Tony nodded weakly.
"Sir suffers from selective mutism. He has been unable to speak since you told him to shut up."
"What?" Pepper felt unbelievably guilty. "How long?"
"Since before I was created. My observations led me to the conclusion that when people he cares about tell him to shut up, in a harsh manner, it leads to him being physically unable to speak."
"He's not doing it on purpose?" She felt sick at the realisation. "He really can't speak?"
"No."
"Shit, Tony, I'm so sorry." Pepper kissed his forehead. "Can I help at all?"
"You need to give Sir some time. Let him process you knowing, and then, when he wants you to, you come back and you help him talk. I will provide sites for you to go over in the meantime."
"Okay." Pepper let go of Tony. "I'm sorry. I'll be here when you need me."
She was back two days later, and Tony was still struggling. Pepper had read every single article she could find, and had a long talk with JARVIS and Rhodey. Rhodey offered to come by, but JARVIS said Tony needed to do this with Pepper, so he wouldn't be so reliant on Rhodey.
She did exactly what Rhodey had done, telling Tony he could talk. That he was allowed to talk, and she would never tell him to shut up again. She reassured him over and over until he could speak again, and his first word was sorry, again.
Tony had that long, painful talk about his childhood again, and it took him hours to get it all out. And Pepper was patient, just like Rhodey, the whole time. She never once told him to hurry up or made him feel bad. She was kind and caring, and eventually Tony could speak again.
She told him she'd never hurt him again.
Like Rhodey, she stayed true to her words.
The worst case of his selective mutism was because of the Avengers.
After a year or so of living with the Avengers in the tower, Tony had began to think of them like his family. Natasha was his terrifying sister, Clint was his annoying brother, Thor was the golden retriever, and Bruce and Steve were both mother hens.
Tony didn't immediately get along with them, though. It took time, but they never told Tony to shut up harshly. The only time he was ever told to shut up was playful and friendly, and it was usually from Clint when Tony won in Mario Kart.
But then, one day, they made the same fatal mistake as Rhodey and Pepper. But it was worse, because it wasn't just one of them. It was all of them.
They were fighting Doombots, and Tony had figured out a good way to stop them. He was rambling, trying to explain the plan, but also explain what was going on. He couldn't help but ramble, because he was excited that he had figured it out.
And then, on cue, every single Avenger shouted at him through the comms. "Shut up, Tony."
Tony faltered in his suit, JARVIS having to take over piloting for a moment. This wasn't good. "Mute."
Ironically, that was the last thing he was able to say. And it was to JARVIS. It had a double meaning- Tony wanted to be muted from comms, and JARVIS needed to know it was happening again. He felt the panic bubble up in his throat, but it felt thicker and heavier this time. He felt like he was suffocating.
His superhero family had shouted at him, told him to shut up. They all had the same tone, that tone of frustration and impatience. They couldn't deal with him rambling anymore. No one really could, unless it was JARVIS. Which didn't count, because he made JARVIS.
"Sir, would you like me to call Colonel Rhodes or Miss Potts?"
Tony shook his head, realising that he couldn't even type up his responses whilst in his suit. He had realised that he was still floating in the air above several Doombots, not even carrying out the plan he'd gone mute for.
He rushed into action when he saw Natasha in the midst of several bots, definitely in danger. He didn't care that she'd just told him to shut up; he flew down and picked her up, dropping her off somewhere safer.
She said thank you, through the comms, but he couldn't reply. He felt sick, choking on the words trapped in his throat. He couldn't speak, and the team was talking about what they should do, and asking Tony was his plan was. But he couldn't speak. He couldn't.
He tried, he really did, but he couldn't.
Tony carried it out alone, hoping they'd follow along. It took the team a few seconds to pick up on what Tony was doing, but then they joined in and the Doombots were taken care of. Everything was back to normal.
Except with Tony.
He couldn't talk.
Tony skipped the debrief and flew straight to the tower, ignoring Steve's angry Captain voice telling him to come back. The moment Tony got into the workshop, he collapsed to the ground and began to cry.
They had said those two stupid words, and now he couldn't talk again. He loved the Avengers enough to go silent at their request, and he didn't want to. He wanted to be able to talk.
It'd be harder to hide his selective mutism from a group of superheroes, especially when they live in his tower. And then they'd find out how pathetic he is- Iron Man but unable to take a simple shut up without freaking out. And they'd realise he's a liability, and they'd kick him off of the team.
JARVIS was trying to comfort him, trying to get permission to call Rhodey or Pepper, but Tony had ignored him. He didn't even bother using the holographic keyboard to reply; he just shook his head at everything and sobbed.
Crying hurt even more, because the only sound coming from him was the sound of his wheezing, stuttering breaths. He tried to talk, tried to complain to himself, but not a single sound came out from his mouth.
JARVIS informed him that the team was back in the tower, and Tony typed in lockdown.
The AI reluctantly followed the order.
"Where's Tony?" Clint asked at dinner. "Haven't seen him since the fight."
"He flew off and skipped debrief." Steve said. "I thought he was here. Should've been at dinner by now."
"Maybe he got an idea for something and is currently in a work binge?" Bruce suggested. "Could explain why he had to go so quickly."
"Sounds like him." Natasha sat down. "Last time I saw him was when he chucked me onto a rooftop. I don't know if I didn't hear him or anything, but he's usually pretty chatty whenever he's flying me somewhere."
"Probably thinking of whatever he's making in his head." Clint shrugged. "His brain must run a thousand miles a minute."
"JARVIS, do you mind calling Tony down for dinner?"
The AI was silent.
"Is JARVIS broken?" Clint looked at the nearest camera. "JARVIS?"
The coffee machine started randomly working, and then the toaster pinged with nothing in it. This was JARVIS' way of showing he was pissed at the team, without speaking. If his creator couldn't speak because of them, he wouldn't speak to the team in solidarity.
SIR IS BUSY. Was written on a holographic screen that appeared in the centre of the kitchen table. SO AM I.
"Oh, alright." Steve barely understood technology. This was too confusing for him to question. "Let him know we'll leave him a portion or two. Depends how hungry he is after his work binge."
JARVIS didn't reply.
Tony sat in the workshop, on the floor, trying his level best to talk. He listened to JARVIS talk about what the team had said, and JARVIS really did try to get help, but Tony refused it. He needed some time to think.
And then he went straight into building. He needed to make the team some gifts, so that they would let him talk again. JARVIS told him over and over that he didn't need to make gifts to earn permission for a basic human right. Tony wasn't convinced.
He needed to show he was sorry for rambling. He needed to make sure they'd be okay with him speaking, even if it was only a little bit. He could cut down on how much he spoke if that meant that they would accept him.
He didn't expect them to be able to put up with his rambling for a year. So it made sense that they finally snapped. These gifts would be thank you gifts, and apology gifts. To thank them for putting up with him, and to apologise for finally making them snap.
He had built Natasha and Clint completely bulletproof suits. They were flexible and impenetrable, and had secret pockets for weapons. He made a brand new knife for Natasha, a Russian doll-type knife. He came up with a dumb joke "a Russian doll for my Russian doll" and then startled himself when he realised he wouldn't be able to say it.
The choking feeling returned, so he drowned the bubbles in his throat with coffee and blasted AC/DC to help his brain stop thinking so much. He made new arrows for Clint, making them collapsible in order to allow him to carry more.
He made a magnetic strap for the shield to attach to, so that the Captain wouldn't have to manually grab it when it came flying back to him. The Hulk would be given new pants, and Bruce got more equipment for his lab. He wracked his brain trying to figure out what Thor could have, because Thor didn't really need anything.
He felt bad and felt the bubbly feeling come back. He couldn't drown it out with coffee, this time. He had no way to earn Thor's forgiveness and permission to speak, and Thor was a fucking god. If a god didn't want him to speak, how could he ever?
Tony threw up, just barely managing to get to the sink. He kept throwing up until he physically couldn't, and then he just leaned against the sink, dry-heaving and sobbing. He wouldn't ever be able to speak again, because he couldn't earn Thor's forgiveness.
"Sir, please, let me call Colonel Rhodes."
It was a no, again.
The team hadn't seen Tony for over a week now, and JARVIS was still refusing to speak to them unless absolutely necessary.
So far, the AI hadn't deemed anything necessary.
Tony had been sneaking into the kitchen whenever the team was definitely not around, making small meals every now and then. He didn't need food that regularly. There were times where he had to leave his food half-made because one of the Avengers were nearby.
He couldn't do anything until he figured out what he could make for Thor.
Every now and then, he'd try to speak, accidentally of course. And even though he couldn't speak, when he realised he tried, without making up for what he'd done, the panic would set in again.
He'd gone from simple panic to panic attacks, and they were happening way too frequently. It was hard, for JARVIS, to help calm Tony down, but the bots were there, and they were surprisingly good at comforting Tony. Dum-E was not so dumb when it came to comforting taps on the shoulder and U was good at whirring around until it distracted Tony enough.
JARVIS was always there to remind Tony where he was, what the time was, and that he was okay.
JARVIS had let Tony know on several occasions that the Avengers were looking for him, and Tony dismissed it. One by one, he'd given out the gifts, leaving them at their respective doors so that he wouldn't have to talk when giving them.
He'd almost bumped into Clint whilst leaving the arrows and instructions, and it caused Tony to freak out more than normal. He ended up running to his private bar and downing a glass of Scotch.
He threw up later, crying over the fact that he relapsed in his sobriety.
"JARVIS, you and Tony have been radio silent for almost a month now. Would you please tell us what's going on?"
JARVIS, the absolute icon, started playing the part of Hot Girl Bummer by Blackbear where it goes fuck you and you, and you and you, and you, I hate your friends and they hate me too. The team had been beyond confused, but it did put a few things into place.
JARVIS was mad at them, because of something regarding Tony. The reason why, they still hadn't figured out.
"I miss Tony." Bruce said. "I miss him. He hasn't barged into my lab in a while. It's been over a month since we've done an experiment together. The only thing he's given me is several pairs of Hulk pants, and I didn't even see him give them to me."
"Shit, he gave me some new arrows as well. I thought I saw him, swear I did, but he was gone in seconds." Clint mentioned.
"He gave me something for my shield. He left instructions explaining it simply." Steve said. "I can't believe it, but I actually wanted him to go on a rant about how it was made, what it does, and how to put it on. The instructions were so.. boring."
"He gave me a new suit and a knife." Natasha flicked the new knife in her hand. "I know there was a stupid joke he could've said when he gave it to me, but there was nothing. Not even a note."
"I got a suit too. It's completely bulletproof. I tried shooting at it several times, and nothing happened. I shot myself whilst wearing it and nothing."
"You shot yourself?" Natasha looked at him incredulously. "You put a lot of faith in yourself."
"I put faith in the suit." Clint shrugged. "I wanted to thank Tony for it, but the vents to his floor and workshop were sealed. Why's he hiding from us?"
"This has to be much longer than a work binge. I mean, he's given us everything possible."
"Nothing for Thor." Bruce realised. "He's not given anything to Thor. That smartass is probably trying to figure out what to give to Thor because Thor doesn't really need anything. In battle, he needs his hammer and Asgardian attire. I wouldn't be able to figure out what to give him either."
"He does not need to give me anything." Thor declared. "And neither does he need to give gifts for you. Why should he hide away to make things for us we cannot even thank him for?"
"Is he apologising for something? Or thanking us for something?" Bruce asked. "Cause that's usually how he shows gratitude, or asks for forgiveness."
"He has nothing to thank us for, neither a reason to ask for our forgiveness." Thor was more confused than ever. "What is wrong with the Man of Iron? Why is his talking friend not talking to us either?"
"JARVIS?" Bruce said quietly. "Please? Can you tell us what's wrong?"
"No."
"He spoke- that's something." Steve said enthusiastically. "Is Tony okay?"
"I cannot disclose that information."
"So he's not okay." Natasha decided. "With or without JARVIS' help, we're going to figure out what's wrong."
"How?"
"I'm calling Colonel Rhodes."
JARVIS, if the AI could smile, would've smiled. He had been trying to convince his creator to call Rhodes for nearly four weeks. Now, without meaning to, he'd caused Natasha to do it instead.
He made the kitchen lights go yellow.
"Seems like JARVIS wanted us to." Clint pointed us. "So even he's worried for Tony."
"Something's very wrong."
Colonel Rhodes had called Natasha back two days later, saying he was unavailable due to military work. Natasha managed to pick up at the perfect time.
"Colonel."
"What's wrong?"
"Tony's disappeared for about a month now, and JARVIS refused to talk to us up until two days ago. Upon hearing I was going to call you, the lights turned yellow, meaning he wanted us to call you. Which leads me to believe he's been trying to get Tony to call you for a while, but Tony's refused."
"He's not spoken to any of you at all?"
"No."
"Did any of you- you know what- hold on."
Natasha waited patiently for Rhodes to return to his phone, the Avengers watching her with worried eyes. They wanted to know what was wrong just as badly as she did.
"I'm flying over tonight."
"Do you know what's wrong?"
"I do. But I'm not telling you anything until I see Tony first."
"Understood. Safe travels, Colonel."
"So?" Steve asked.
"He knows what's wrong but won't tell me." Natasha said simply. "Meaning we've either really fucked up or Tony just wants to keep this private. Perhaps both."
"We'll just have to hope that Rhodes helps Tony then." Bruce nods and takes his leave.
The Avengers feel quiet without him.
Rhodey used his override code to get into the workshop and barged in, hugging his wide-eyed best friend immediately. Rhodey held him tightly, rubbing the genius' back.
"They said it, didn't they?"
Tony nodded.
"Oh, Tones." Rhodey let go. "You should've told me. It's been a whole month."
Tony raised a brow, and then he began typing onto the holographic screen, asking when Rhodey got here and how he knew something was wrong in the first place.
"Natasha called me." Rhodey folded his arms over. "She called me saying you and JARVIS have been giving the team the silent treatment for about a month."
Tony made an o shape with his mouth, but not a single word came out.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Rhodey asked sadly. "I would've been on the next flight out. I don't care about the army. You're my best friend, and I am always here when you need me, especially when this happens."
I didn't want to bother you. Tony typed. And I'm working on it.
"Will you explain what happened at least?"
"Sir was fighting Doombots with the team, came up with a plan, got excited whilst explaining it and rambled a little, and every single Avenger told him to shut up all at once. The last thing he said was mute. He's been unable to speak since then."
"I'll kill them." Rhodey said casually. "Let me and I'll do it. I'll stab Captain America in a place where even the serum can't save him from bleeding out."
Tony shook his head. I'm working on gifts to change things. They'll forgive me and I'll be able to talk again.
Sick. Rhodey felt sick. "Tony, you do not need their permission to speak. You don't need to be forgiven. They do. They made you fucking silent for a month. Does Pepper know?"
No.
"How?"
"Miss Potts has been on a rather long business trip and hasn't had much time to contact Sir. Sir has been providing designs and prototypes to trick her into thinking he is okay."
Tony glared at the nearest camera. That was far too much explaining.
"Tony." Rhodey sat down next to his best friend. "Tony, you do know this isn't your fault, right? I get it- you can talk a lot sometimes. But that doesn't mean that they can make you feel like shit over it. And you don't need to make them gifts in order to feel like you have your basic right to talk again."
I can't. Tony frowned. I can't do it. I need their forgiveness. I won't be able to talk.
"You don't. You just need them to know, so that they never make this happen to you again."
Tony shook his head incredibly fast, that panicked feeling reappearing. You can't. I'll be a liability.
"This," Rhodey emphasised, "does not make you a liability. You're a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. You're Iron Man. You're my brother and my best friend, and nothing about having selective mutism changes that."
Tony signed I love you to Rhodey. The first time Rhodey found out Tony couldn't talk, the two of them decided to learn ASL together. They rarely used it, because technology was Tony's other best friend, but they both knew it.
Rhodey signed it back.
"How is he?" Steve asked when Rhodey walked into the communal living room.
"You're all going to go up there with me, and I'm going to explain something to you. Say a single thing out of order and I will not hesitate to slit your throat. I don't care if you're all superheroes."
"Understood."
It was weird to see Tony again after him hiding away for so long. He looked paler, a little bit skinnier, and unkempt. His beard wasn't neatly-trimmed like always, his hair was a bit longer, definitely messier, and he looked tired.
"Tony." Bruce smiled. "It's good to see you."
Tony felt like throwing up. He wanted to say something back, he really did, but he couldn't. And Thor was there, and Tony hadn't made anything yet. How could he be able to talk again if he couldn't give something to Thor? It wasn't fair.
"Shut up." Rhodey glared at Bruce, who held his hands up in surrender. "Tony, you sure you're good with me doing this?"
Tony nodded, albeit hesitantly. If he never got this out there, things would never change. He learnt that the hard way with Pepper.
"Tony has selective mutism." Rhodey began. "Because of the way he was brought up, having people he cares for tell him to shut up makes him physically unable to speak. It's not a choice, more so a trauma response. Right now, he's afraid to talk because he hasn't built something for Thor, in order to be forgiven for talking too much."
"What?" Thor tilted his head. "He does not require forgiveness from me. He has done nothing wrong."
"When did we-"
"The Doombots." Natasha said. "We all told him to shut up because he was rambling about his plan. That's why he didn't say anything when he took me away from the Doombots. Or why he didn't tell us what he was doing, and just hoped we would pick up on it."
"Precisely." Rhodey crossed his arms angrily. "If it was just one of you, he wouldn't have been so badly affected. But it was all of you, all at once. And if you weren't aware, he's already got insecurities about being just a man in armour compared to you guys."
Tony threw his hands up in protest. But he couldn't voice it.
"So having the Earth's Mightiest Heroes telling him to shut up, all at once, made him unable to talk. He can't talk because of you guys, and those new gifts were apology gifts. Though he didn't need to make them."
"Tony- we're sorry." Steve began. "I don't know what selective mutism is, but from what the Colonel just said, I think I know enough. And I'm sorry, so sorry, that we made you feel like you couldn't speak. You have every right to talk around us. And we do not need gifts in order for you to do so."
"You have been quiet for much longer because of me." Thor said sadly. "There is nothing you can give me to earn my forgiveness, because you don't need it at all. What would be greatly appreciated, however, is if you would grace us with your voice again. We have missed you. Your talking included."
Tony didn't know what to do. He felt entirely overwhelmed, and still a little bit terrified of being a liability.
"I'd also like to put it out there that he's scared of you guys thinking he's a liability because of this." Rhodey mentioned. It was like he could read Tony's mind.
"Fuck, Tony, I'm literally deaf." Clint said. "You know I'm deaf. You made me better hearing aids. If I'm deaf, and I'm not a liability, why would you be one for having selective mutism?"
Shit. That was a really good point.
"You're not a liability." Natasha smiled. "You are our friend. And we love you for you, your voice included. We've all missed you talking, genuinely. We've missed seeing you around and hearing you talk."
"I've missing fighting with you over Mario Kart."
"I've missed our lab time."
"I've missed you essentially tutoring me on this century."
"Aye, me too. I have missed being informed of Midgard customs."
"And JARVIS." Natasha rolled her eyes. "Your AI has been mad at us as well, for the past month."
Tony laughed a little at that, and his eyes went wide when he realised he'd made a noise. His laughter was a noise, and that was something.
Rhodey noticed it too, walking up to his best friend and holding him tightly. "Take your time, okay? No one's rushing you."
Tony opened his mouth to say something, to try, and then-
"If your first word is sorry again I'll kill you."
"Noted."
The realisation that he'd spoke was a shock to everyone. Tony was the most surprised, and then the tears began. He always seemed to cry after not talking, because of the sheer relief that he could again. Not talking, when it was quite literally not his own choice, was the hardest thing in the world.
"I'm so proud of you, man." Rhodey smiled. "You call me if this ever happens again, alright? I don't want to have to hear about it weeks later. Again."
Tony nodded, because that was the most he could do at the time.
It was enough.
wow i need to find more fics w tony being told to shut up
and then its angsty cuz of it
cuz i found a few and thats it and i hate when theres not enough of a good fic
cinnamon <3