erg so i was gone last week on vacation and that's why i couldn't update. Sorry, and i know this is kind of short compared to the other chapters. Spring break is coming up though and i hope to update a little more then. :) Comment, vote, share, and add to your reading list and what not! enjoy!
The rest of the week passes by uneventful. Jake continued to stay away from me, and we haven't had a conversation since our fight.
Lilly and I decided to go to the dance at school tonight. At first I said no to coming, but Lilly was too persistent. Besides, this is only a school dance. No wild drinking or partying, because the teachers will be watching. Also they never serve drinks or food so it isn't possible for anyone to spike something. Lilly told me that Trent was going to be there tonight, and although I'm happy for her, I'm scared she will ditch me for him to dance.
Nick said he would drive me to the dance, and then afterwards I'm going to Lilly's house.
I sigh looking at my reflection in the mirror. I'm wearing a form fitting, black, one shoulder dress. It's simple, and pretty. My dark hair is hanging down in a wave. I look over at the clock and see it's time to go so I grab my purse and head downstairs.
Once I get dropped off at the dance, I pay and go find Lilly. She is standing by her locker and shoving things in it. (The hall her locker is in is the only hall open) I go over to her and help, while shoving my things in at the same time. We manage to shut the locker, but I'm sure when someone opens it everything will just tumble out.
Lilly is wearing a pretty blue dress that is strapless.
"Wooh! This is going to be fun!" She says over the loud music from the gym. I grin and nod at her as we push our way through people. Immediately Lilly drags me out onto the floor and we start dancing to some crazy song that comes on. A few guys approach us, but we send them glares to leave us be.
My hair is a mess by the time the first slow dance comes on. Lilly is looking through the crowd and she smiles immediately. I look in the same direction and see a familiar boy with blonde hair and gray eyes. He wears a bright smile on his face, and I realize it's Trent. I also notice the person standing right next to him, Jake. Lilly and I are sitting in one of the corners when Trent comes over and asks to dance with Lilly. She lets out a nervous giggle and leaves with him. I start sulking as I sit in the corner alone.
I look down at my bare feet. All the girls take off their shoes when we go into the gym to dance.
I can sense someone looming over me, and I can already take a guess to who it is.
"Uh hey," Jake says, sounding somewhat uncomfortable. I look up and I'm surprised at the vulnerability I see on his face.
"What?" I say somewhat harshly. I'm still not really over our fight we had.
"Can we talk?" He asks and I motion my arms for him to go ahead and talk. He holds out his hand and I know what he wants. He wants me to dance with him. After a moment of hesitation I give in and grab his hand.
We move onto the dance floor and I can't say I don't enjoy how close we are.
"I'm willing to tell you something about me if you tell me something about yourself," He says to me. I consider denying the offer right away. He shouldn't know anything, but I want to learn more about him. I nod as we continue to sway to the song. I find it really intimate and suddenly I feel nervous. Is he just trying to get closer to me? Is this when he is finally going to make his move then hurt me?
"Ok, I don't get along with my parents very well, and they don't very much like me either. It wasn't always like this, but it is now," I kind of figured as much, and I catch on that he is trying to be vague too. I think over what I'm going to say so I don't blab something too important.
"I've lost people I love," Is the only thing I say. I see understanding dawn in his eyes. Of course he has lost people he has loved too, but he has noticed that its not just one person I'm talking about. Jake nods, but doesn't question me further. "You know I'm still mad at you right?"
"I figured as much, but you can't be all that mad if you're allowing this," He motions to the sliver of space between us. I blush immediately and he laughs. Then I see that smile again, his real smile. The one with the dimples that light up his face. "You know I'm not really complaining either," And then he seems to lean closer to me. I hold my breath as I see where his eyes are directed towards. My lips. Oh god he's going to kiss me! But I don't try to stop, and in fact I seem to move closer too.
"What do you think you're doing?" Immediately Jake pushes me away from him and I frown when I see Lilly standing there. Trent is right next to her. He looks somewhat caught between the middle of us, but he has a knowing smirk on his face. Jake and I are standing pretty far away from each other at the moment, and I'm sure my face looks like a tomato.
"Ok girl meeting!" Lilly suddenly yells, breaking the awkward tension and dragging me away. We end up outside the gym and Lilly glares at me.
"What exactly was that?"
"I...Uh..Um.. Nothing?" I say as more of a question.
"He almost kissed you," She hisses and flairs her arms around. I glare at her.
"Thanks captain obvious."
"So do you like him? Are you guys like together? Have you been dating for a while? How long has this been going on?" She starts firing questions at me.
"Woah there, we just had a moment ok? He confessed something about himself and we got caught up in everything," Lilly goes completely silent.
"You know Jake hasn't lived here his whole life right? He moved here in 8th grade,"
"What?" now that's a surprise. I would have thought he lived here all along.
"Ya, he was a mystery when he first came here. He was closed off and never told anyone anything. He started hanging out with those butt head guys, but He still never talks about his home or where he's from. So what did he tell you?" She says sounding excited. I process the information she has just given me. He was closed off? I wonder if that was because of his parents or another reason.
"I can't tell you. It's his secret, not mine," Lilly looks disappointed, but doesn't say anything else.
Trent comes out and finds us a few minutes later. Jake is behind him looking down at the ground or anywhere that isn't me. I'm guessing they had a guy meeting. Lilly and Trent walk back into the gym and Jake and I are left alone.
Well this couldn't be anymore awkward.
"Listen...I'm sorry about..what happened in there," Jake says sheepishly. "I know That you don't really like dating and stuff..I shouldn't have pushed you," My mouth is probably on the ground. He's apologizing?
"I..uh..it's ok. I really don't have anything against dating, I just told Aiden that because I don't like him like that," What am I saying? Didn't I think that I could never find someone to love again? Without thinking I reach for my necklace that Ethan gave me. Jake eyes the necklace. One thing I noticed is that his blue eyes brightened when I said I made that stuff up.
"Oh..what about Lilly?"
"I just didn't want her to play matchmaker," We both fall into silence and I realize what I said. Am I encouraging him to ask me out?
"Did your boyfriend in Florida give that to you?" Jake nods toward my necklace. I inhale sharply, but then nod. He nods kind of awkwardly and shoves his hands into his pockets.
"JAKE!" I hear a high pitched voice yell. We both look behind us to see Ashley. I haven't really seen much of her lately and a frown goes to my face. Ashley bounds over to us. "Hey lets go dance," She sends a disgusted glance towards me. "You must be sick of hanging out with the freak," I can hear Jake hold his breath. He looks at me with apologetic eyes, but I dismiss them.
"Why thank you Ashley," I say with sarcasm. "I mean it's not like I'm standing right here or anything," Ashley glares at me more, but doesn't reply. She lets out a huff and tugs on Jake's arm.
"Come on Jake!" She says exasperated. Jake looks right at me and smiles. Not his real smile though. He pulls out of her grip.
"Nah, I think I'm going to hang out with the freak a little more," He sends me a wink and a small smile tugs at my lips. Ashley purses her lips and stomps her foot before walking away. I let out a laugh once she is gone and Jake joins.
'She's going to hate you now you know," I state.
"Yep, that was kind of the plan from the beginning," I shake my head at him with a smile. What the heck is happening between us? "Come on, lets get back inside the gym and find the happy couple who hopefully are done eating there faces out by now," I grimace at the thought and follow after him. Lilly and Trent are sitting in a corner looking bored. I realize the song being played isn't really good for dancing and most people stand off on the sides.
"Gosh, finally. What took you guys so long," Lilly exclaims once she sees us.
"I think I have an idea," Tent winks and Lilly hits his arm. He laughs at her and pulls her close ruffling her hair.
Aww, what a cute couple.
"Hey. Not the hair," Lilly complains swatting at Trent. I laugh at them both.
This has been one interesting night.
* * * * *
Monday morning I walk to school. Jake hasn't made an appearance and I haven't talked to him since the dance on Saturday.
I walk down the hall carrying my books and heading to first block when I notice Ashley and some other girls. I hold my chin up high with a smile on my face. They aren't going to hurt me anymore. Except I don't notice the feet that stick out at the last second and I tumble to the hall floor. I have a very big moment of déjà vu from my first day here.
Someone kicks one of my notebooks across the hall, and I look up to see them all smirking at me.
"Still smiling freak?" Ashley sneers and they all laugh. I hear more laughter and look to the other end of the hall. It's Jake and his friends. They are all laughing at me, including Jake. My heart sinks down so low. I was such an idiot to think he would change. My stomach turns in anger as I try to gather my stuff which, thanks to Ashley, is now scattered around the hallway. My eyes sting and I walk right past Jake, purposefully running into his shoulder hard.
"Douche," I mutter under my breath, and I turn around to look at him. He isn't laughing anymore. He's staring right at me with a blank face. No emotion at all. I look into his blue eyes and I see a flicker of regret before it's gone.
Is this guy bipolar?
I make my way out towards the courtyard. I hold in the tears. You've been through worse Maggie. I say to myself over and over again, but the worst part is...this hurts. A lot. I don't know why, but I feel betrayed. Jake knows things about me, and I know things about him. Shouldn't that matter in some way?
I guess not, I think bitterly as I head to my first class. I sit as far away as possible from Jake and put up the hood of my sweatshirt. Lilly isn't here today either. The teacher asks me to take down my hood, but after I refuse he leaves me be. I don't want people to see the hurt in my eyes. I'm already an easy target, but now my emotions are trying to spill out. I mentally work to push all the emotion back.
I succeed and my face becomes a blank canvas. Unemotional and uncaring. That's how it needs to stay. I can't trust people anymore, I'm in this alone. And no one can help me.