I slowly ran the wet cloth over Finn's cheek, trying to get the dried blood off of him.
Just looking at his condition made me feel heavy in my chest. Memories flashed before my eyes, but I tried to push them away.
Why would he do something like that? Obviously, he didn't do it himself, but how did he get to this state?
It hurts me that I'm one of the reasons he looks the way he does. I wish I would never have brought him to that party. None of this would happen.
"I'm sure he'll be fine." Lincoln's voice came from behind me after a while. I hoped he had already left, but apparently not.
"And if he wasn't?" My hand stopped at Finn's face. "Then what, hm?"
"Okay, fine, maybe I overdid it. I shouldn't have..."
"Maybe?" I snorted and looked at him in disbelief. "Lincoln, you had no right to say even one word against him. You don't even know him."
"Did you google him?" He raised an eyebrow.
Without answering, I turned back to Finn on the bed.
"I take that as a yes. Lexi, come on, you know I only want the best for you. Look at him. Do you want a person like that in your life?"
"You don't decide who I will have in my life and who I won't. It's not your decision." I put the rag back in the water.
"I'm trying to protect you. All of us are."
"Protect me? Like this?" I stood up and turned to face him. "Finn didn't do anything. You had no right to..."
"I have friends in New York." He cut me off. "The doctors who warned me to stay away from people like him and his family."
"So if you were told that van Gogh was going to do an autograph signing in New York, you'd immediately buy plane tickets? Do you realize how absurd you sound?" I crossed my arms over my chest.
What kind of argument is this anyway? Someone said something to someone and suddenly we're all going to kill each other?
"He's dangerous." He insisted on his own. "Mafia, Lexi. It's not something you take lightly. It's serious."
"Does he seriously look like someone I should be afraid of?" I pointed at the motionless Finn, who would have trouble even getting out of bed, let alone hurting me.
"We're trying to prot..."
"Stop justifying your behavior by saying you're doing it for me." Already irritated, my hands flew to my head. "I'm not asking you to do such a thing. You don't know Finn. You don't know his life, his family, his past. You have no right to judge him." I threw up my hands.
"He's going to hurt you."
"Like you are right now?" I said harshly. "Thanks for checking him out, but you should go."
My own words stabbed daggers into my heart. Lincoln is a person I could always count on. How did we get here?
"We've known each other for years, Lexi. We've never had a fight. Just a few days with him and look at us." He pointed between us. "He's not a good influence on you."
"I'm not a child Lincoln. Stop treating me like one. I have a mind of my own."
"Yes? And where is it right now?" He snorted. "I don't know what he did to cloud your sanity like that, but you're making a mistake. He's a mistake."
"He?" I shook my head. "He's the only person I feel doesn't judge me. And before you tell me that you don't judge me either, I'm not blind. Every decision in my life since I met you, Lincoln. Every decision."
"So that's how you feel, huh? That we are a burden to you?" He frowned. "Wow." He snorted. "You know what, fine." He nodded. "If you want it like that, suit yourself. Don't cry to me when he breaks your heart. Because guys like him? They don't care about other people's feelings."
"And you cared about his feelings when you started talking about his life, which you don't even know?"
"That's different." He said between his teeth.
"No, that's hypocritical of you. Once you get to know him properly and tell me to stay away from him, fine, I'll do it. But right now, you don't know anything about him, so your opinion? Irrelevant."
He shook his head. "I'll go before you say something you'll regret." He took a step back.
"Or you're leaving because you know I'm right."
"Why are you protecting him? What did he do to make you able to go against us for him? Your friends?"
I remained silent, knowing that if the answer came out of my mouth, it would hurt both of us.
"I'll go." After a while he said. "We'll talk later."
I didn't answer him. I didn't nod or shake my head. I didn't even give him a hint of reaction.
He turned on the spot and walked to the door. He hesitated slightly before opening them but finally got out and slammed the door shut behind him.
"Oh Lexi what are you doing?" I exhaled heavily and looked at Finn on the bed. "All this for a person who will quite possibly break my heart."
My heart was pounding in my head.
The moment I was able to open my eyes, everything slowly began to return to me from the previous evening.
Maybe it would be better if I didn't remember anything.
I sat up faster than I should have, for which my head thanked me with a dull ache. I hissed in pain and immediately felt pain in my right arm and all over my face.
But what was strange, I don't remember having time to clean myself from the blood. Nor do I remember how I even got into the apartment.
And I sure as fuck don't remember finding new roommates. So who the hell is talking in my apartment?
I stood up and immediately grabbed my stomach. Just from the pain, I can imagine that it has all the colors of the rainbow. Awesome.
I grabbed a hold of the closet because I was not quite sure I could walk on my own and peeked around the corner where the voices were coming from.
"I'm sorry for everything I said yesterday. I messed up it, I know. But I was only trying to protect you. Please say you understand. I don't want to argue with you, Lexi."
It took me a while to connect my voice and face. What the hell is Lincoln doing in my apartment?
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." I heard her sweet voice and focused my gaze on her back. When did Lexi get here? And especially how?
"You mean a lot to me Lexi, but I won't change my mind about him. He's not good for you. Feel free to hate me, but I'll always protect you. And he's the person you need protection from."
I heard how she exhaled heavily and saw how she lowered her head. "Thank you for bringing the medicine. I'll pay you for it when I get paid."
"You won't leave him, will you?"
For some reason, just the thought of never seeing her again hurt more than all the wounds on my body.
"He needs someone. I won't turn my back on him. You know that's not me."
"You are too good for this world, Lexi. It will eat you alive."
"I owe it to my mother, Lincoln. She saw the good in everyone, and so do I. Finn deserves a chance."
And just how many chances will you get from her?
"Just be careful." She nodded slowly and he walked out of my apartment, closing the door behind him.
"Well, he's not going to exactly bite me now, is he?" Even though her back was turned, I could tell she had rolled her eyes so much that I was surprised she didn't see me behind her.
"You never know," I spoke, but I didn't mean for my voice to sound so harsh. I also had no intention of harming myself just by inhaling.
Lexi flinched at my voice and immediately turned to me. At that moment I also hissed in pain and my hand flew again to my stomach.
"Shit." I groaned in pain.
"What are you doing? You shouldn't be on your feet." She was in front of me before I could even blink.
"I'm okay." Liar.
"And I'm Marilyn Monroe." She carefully put my arm over her shoulders and began to lead me back to the bed.
"Your hair is too long for that." I laughed, which hurt. Why am I doing this to myself?
I tried to hold back the painful noises inside me as I sat down, but it was harder than it sounded.
"Wait, I have pills for you." She ran away for a few seconds and returned with pills and a glass of water.
I didn't even look at what she was giving me and just threw it in and drank water after.
She could have just killed you, you realize that right?
"Thanks." I got out with less pain.
Thanks for what? Possible poisoning?
"How are you?" I raised one eyebrow at her question. "Right. Stupid question. Sorry." She laughed nervously. "You want to tell me what happened?"
Sure. I snorted internally.
"I'm great." I gave her a smile.
"I take that as a no." She nodded. "So yesterday at Jeremy's..." She started, but I immediately cut her off.
"I don't want to talk about it." I placed the glass on the bedside table next to me.
"But the thing is, you can't exactly run away from this conversation right now so..." She slowly sat down on the floor and leaned her back against the wardrobe as she looked up at me. "I'm sorry for what happened."
"Why are you apologizing for something that isn't your fault?" I wish I could say this is the only time, but Lexi apologizes for every other sentence. It's starting to piss me off.
Her, especially Lexi, never needs to apologize. And definitely not to me.
"I brought you there." She shrugged. "So it is kind of my fault."
"It's not," I said harshly.
"Anyway, Lincoln shouldn't have said what he said. He crossed a line and..."
"Do you believe what he said?" I jumped into her speech, her gaze immediately flew to my face.
"Whether it's true or not, he shouldn't"
"That's not what I asked. Do you believe what he said?" I repeated the question.
"I..." She swallowed hard and looked down at her hands. "I googled you. Well, not you, but your last name and New York. A few articles popped up and..." She didn't finish the sentence, so I had to do it for her.
"And you found out he was right."
"But was he?" She looked at me with little hope that it wasn't true. "Are the articles true?"
"If I say yes, what are you going to do?" Part of me wanted to lie to her. To say that she has nothing to fear from me, that everything is a lie. But can I lie to her? She doesn't deserve that.
"I'll run away." It wasn't until the words came out of her mouth that she thought about it. "I should do that, right? Because when someone tells you they're in the mafia, you run for your life. Maybe because your life really is at stake. People can't just tell everyone they're in the mafia. That has to be against some rules. Does the mafia have any rules?" She started talking faster than was healthy. "Because if not, it should definitely have some. And then there should be some kind of punishment for violating them. Maybe even for the person who found out about the mafia and..."
"Lexi, you can stop." I tried not to laugh. "Nothing will happen to you. I promise."
"So...so it's true. You and...mafia."
I nodded slowly. "Is this the part where you run away?" Maybe I should have lied. What if I never see her again?
Shit. What if I really never see her again?
"Um..." She frowned. "Um. I should, right?" She raised one eyebrow. "Is...is it wrong that I don't want to?" She wrinkled her nose adorably.
"Absolutely." What the fuck am I saying?
"Huh." She shrugged. "I'll blame the books for me being delusional."
Wait, what's going on? I'm lost. Why isn't she running away? Of course, I don't want her to run away, but am I the only one who feels like she should have been in the elevator a long time ago, maybe even a few streets away?
"I should really think about what I'm doing sometimes." She stood up from the ground. "You're basically a criminal and I'm about to make you some soup." She mumbled under her breath. "It could be worse, right? You're not a serial killer." She stopped in place. "You're not a serial killer, are you?"
If I knew that laughing right now wouldn't hurt me, I'd be rolling on the floor.
"I never killed anyone." And that's true. I mean, almost. I hurt a few people quite seriously.
"Great." She exhaled. "So soup." She pointed to the kitchen and started walking again.
I think I'm still drunk.
It's okay to be delulu, Lexi. I am too.