***WARNING: This Chapter Contains Scenes of SA and Mild Mention of Suicide***
"Hey babe," I said to him as I tried to get up. Bada could see me struggle and helped me stand up. I walked over to him and he still smelled like liquor. I held back my face from showing how much I wanted to gag at the smell and put on a slight smile.
"Why are you just now getting home?" I whispered to him so none of the girls would be in our conversation. We were in the kitchen so hopefully I was out of earshot.
"I don't have to report everything I do to you. You are not my mother," he said rolling his eyes. I rolled mine back to show my annoyance at his little remark.
"Yeah well, the way you've been acting lately makes it seem like you need your mother. Seriously Haneul did you have to get that drunk yesterday? You didn't even care that I had to go to the hospital." I whispered shouted so he could know I was angry with him.
"It doesn't look like you're too hurt, seeing you can have a party."
"It's not a party. They came over to check on me and since I can barely move, we had a movie night. It's like you're not concerned about me at all." I said tears in my eyes. It truly hurt me how nonchalant Haneul was acting. Like I'm his girlfriend, why isn't he the least bit concerned about me or my well-being after yesterday?
"Look, I'm not in the mood to argue with you. Imma take a shower then go to bed. Just make sure you and your little crew keep to down out here or it's gonna be a problem." he said. I roll my eyes and give him a death stare. He sees me about to put up a fight when he takes my wrist under the kitchen island so no one can see, and tightens his grip.
"I told you I'm not in the mood so do try me right now. And don't ever roll your eyes at me. Do you understand?" he said closely to my ear. I didn't say anything and he tightened his grip which made me squirm. I tried my best not to let out the soft cry that was threatening to spill from my lips.
"I said, do. you. understand?" His voice got lower and at this point I got scared. I slowly nodded my head yes and he let go of me. He walked around the island to our bedroom and closed it with some force. The girls got quiet and asked me if everything was ok. This entire time they were talking among each other. I said a quick yeah and turned back to where the refrigerator was in front of me. I opened it and just stared, letting the cool air envelope me as I think about what just happened. Did Haneul seriously just threaten me? Like am I tweaking or did that truly just happen? I stood there for a minute trying to get my thoughts together when I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders making me flinch. I look up to see Bada towering over me. I hid my wrist with the sleeves of my shirt so she didn't see the slight bruise Haneul left.
"You alright? I couldn't hear what the conversation was about but it looked kind of intense"
"Yeah I'm good, just a little disagreement is all. Are you and the girls staying for the second movie?"
"I don't know. If you want us to stay we can. Whatever you want" Bada said with a smile. I pulled out a drink for me and Bada then closed the refrigerator door and we made our way back to the group of girls.
"So my darlings, are we gonna keep movie night going or call it a night?" I asked curious how they were feeling
"Is it alright if we call it a night? I gotta be up early tomorrow for a class" Latrice said
"Oh yeah I forgot about that," Audrey said remembering she was going to teach with Latrice
"Of course you guys. We can always continue the Twilight marathon another night. Maybe next time I'll get us matching pajamas or something" I said smiling
"Miss Luna is the most festive person I've ever met I swear. Bada, you better make a run for it now or she'll have you dressing like one of Santa's elves for Christmas," Emma said making me giggle
"What can I say, I love setting the mood," I said shrugging the others laughed a little.
"Do I get to have one of these matching pajamas?" Bada asked honestly curious.
"Uh duh, and you gotta get some for the other girls too," Kirsten said
"Omgggg yes. Omg I can't wait to have a movie night with both of the groups together. Speaking of them, are they going to dance classes anytime soon, I wanna dance with them." I said.
"No uh. You won't be doing any dancing any time soon. Not until you're fully healed and my brother gives you permission." Bada said
"Brother? Why would she need permission to dance from him?" Ling asked
"Her brother was my doctor last night. He was so helpful and sweet. Made the entire visit less dreadful" I said. For some reason, I could see Bada's demeanor change when I spoke about her brother. Like it's not like I can say anything bad about him, he was super nice and attentive the entire time. Plus seeing them interact after was really cute.
"I gotta hand it to you Lee siblings, yall really know how to make a girl feel some type of way." I say. Bada raises an eyebrow.
"Oh, so I make you feel some kind of way huh?" she asks playfully
"What did that girl from Euphoria say 'Move with me, marry me, have my babies'" I cooed at Bada playfully. All the girls laugh but Bada doesn't laugh for too long. I guess the joke went too far. I won't play like that in the future with her anymore.
"Ok ok, enough girlies, it's getting late and we should leave Luna so she can get some rest." Kirsten said. We all stood up and I walked everyone to the door. I said goodbye to all of the girls as they left while Bada was the last to leave.
"At least let me stay a little longer to help clean." she said batting her long eyelashes. I rolled my eyes playfully
"Umm you already cleaned my apartment last night"
"Yeah but hey don't blame me, when I see things out of place I just have to clean them up." she said while emphasizing 'have'. She stayed a little longer while helping me clean. We put on some music to pass the time and danced around singing to our favorite artists. Of course my dancing looked off because I could hardly dance. My back has gotten slightly less worse but it was still a tough task to move freely. It got to slow song as we were in the kitchen cleaning. The song ILYSB by The Rose came on and we vibed to the lyrics. The lights were low in the apartment and it was dark outside. When the second verse of the song came on, I had the refrigerator opened putting things away. It was the only thing that gave us enough light in the apartment.
"Mad cool in all my clothes
Mad warm when you get close...to me
Slow dance these summer nights
Our disco ball's my kitchen light"
When these lyrics came on we danced close beneath the light of the refrigerator and swayed in synch with the music, letting any worries we have at the moment go and just being present with each other.
"And you need to know
That nobody could take your place, your place
And you need to know
That I'm hella obsessed with your face, your face, yeah"
During the last line, she cupped my face in her hands as she lipsynched to me. I giggled and we just swayed some more. I felt so content in this moment. It was perfect. Being with Bada felt so amazing like she could magically take away a person's hardships with the sound of her voice. The song hadn't finished yet and we were still swaying in each other's arms when all of a sudden we heard someone cough. Haneul stood by our bedroom door with his arms folded. How much more mad could this guy get? I rolled my eyes still annoyed at his behavior earlier, but made sure he didn't see me. He turned on the kitchen light and Bada coughed softly.
"Imma head out, I got some stuff I need to do to get ready for class tomorrow. I'll see you soon though so you can go back to the doctor for your check-up." Bada said giving me a side hug. We both felt a bit awkward now that Haneul was here because of his death glare. I don't know why he's glaring, it's not like we were doing anything inappropriate. We were just dancing.
"Don't worry about her, I'll take her to the doctor's," Haneul said giving Bada the deadliest look ever. If looks could kill, Bada's head would've been lasered off her head by now. Bada didn't say anything after his response. She just looked at me and said goodnight. I said it back and she left for the night. I glared at Haneul to see what his problem was.
"Seriously, what's the issue now? You said my friends could stay and we weren't even that loud. She also helped me clean up yet you were rude to her"
"So what? Now you like women?" he asked me accusingly
"Excuse me?" I said in disbelief. He cannot be serious right now. Like bffr.
"Don't play dumb with me. I forget one stupid doctor's visit with you and you already switched sides. What, a man hurt and touched you a few times and you're just done with us." I looked at him with pure shock and rage. I can't believe he's using my past on me again.
"You have no right bringing my past hardships into this. NO RIGHT!" I yelled. I was past angry. I couldn't even see straight I was so mad
"Yeah, we'll how do you think I feel seeing my girlfriend all up on some other chick huh? I'm just supposed to let it happen? You're out of your mind if you think you're leaving me," I let my jaw hit the floor. I was confused about how he seriously thought this.
"Bada is my friend. A really good one that I've gotten close to recently. And if I'm being quite frank, I like her a whole lot better than you right now after that stunt you pulled earlier. Heck, I like anyone better than you right now. You're the one who didn't care about what happened last night. She was there for me as a friend when my boyfriend sat around and got drunk out of his ass so don't come over here criticizing my friends." I said, anger laced my words. He came up to me and did the last thing I ever expected him to do.
He hit me.
At first, I thought he'd stop there but he didn't. He just looked so angry. He kept slapping me until I fell to the ground. He didn't stop there either. As I'm on the ground, he gets down and starts throwing punches on my stomach making me cry out in pain. I. try my best to push him off but it's no use. He just kept beating me. Eventually, it stopped and he got up from me and walked to our room like nothing happened. I stayed there on the cold kitchen floor crying to myself wondering what I did to deserve this. I could hardly move from what happened yesterday, but now I couldn't even breathe properly. It hurt to breathe. My chest hurt so badly right now and now my side where I was tased felt like it was lit on fire. I didn't, more like couldn't move from this spot. I stayed there the entire night with my eyes open trying to find it in me to get the will to get up. But I just couldn't.
The next thing I knew it was morning. I was behind the kitchen island so I couldn't see the window in front of it, but I could see the light peacking out from beneath the curtains. I had been on this floor all night. I hadn't moved an inch. I heard the birds chirping so I knew it was past eight in the morning. I still could not comprehend the events that took place last night. Haneul, the one man in my life I trusted and loved did this to me. He broke something inside of me last night that I don't think I will ever get back. I was both mentally and physically numb in this moment. I truly didn't know what to do.
Some more time went by of me being on the cold floor when I heard an alarm go off. It wasn't mine because I had no place to be today. It was Haneul's. I could hear him shuffling around in the bedroom and then the door opened. I couldn't see his face from the position I was laying but I know he's at my feet. He curses something silently as he paces from side to side. He crouches down next to me.
"Baby? Luna baby? Please, you gotta understand how sorry I am. You know I didn't mean to do this right. I'm sorry I just lost my temper and I hurt you. Baby, please look at me, please," he pleaded but I refused to look at him. I had a blank expression on my face. I truly didn't know how to express what I was feeling right now. He comes over to my upper body and scoops me into his embrace. It still hurt like crap to move but I couldn't let out any sounds. He just held me in his arms while I stared at the brightly lit window in front. He pulled me to where I got a good look at the outside world from the window and I just looked. I saw a bird flying by that looked beautiful. It had these pretty grey feathers but had one singular white feather. It was fascinating.
"Baby please talk to me. I'm so sorry" Haneul said breaking me out of my trance. I looked in his eyes which were now filled with tears. Why is he crying? He isn't the one who feels like their body just got bulldozed. I was. I'm the one who should be crying, not him. He didn't have any right to shed a tear. Not after last night. I rolled out of his embrace and did my best to get up from the floor. I failed multiple times but had finally gotten a grip on the island and made my way to the guest bedroom. I made sure to pick up my phone and a blanket before I headed in there. This room was still unfurnished. The only thing in here was a bed and sheets lining it. No comforter or anything so I just laid down on the bed and snuggled up with my blanket. I made sure to lock the door before lying down though. I didn't want to see him right now. I took this time to try and fall asleep. It was hard because all the memories of last night still plagued my mind. There was no silence in my head right now. I was screaming. At any and everything. I just wanted to yell but I didn't so I let my mind do it for me.
After around thirty minutes I heard the front door open then close. I guess Haneul's going to work right now. It's around eleven in the morning at this point and I still couldn't find it in me to rest my mind so I could have a somewhat peaceful sleep. I just did nothing but stare at the empty white walls around me for hours. It wasn't until it was around four in the afternoon that I could finally fall asleep. I didn't remember falling asleep, I just remember my mind being semi-silent enough for me to close my eyes in peace without wanting to fling myself off a building.
I guess I slept for a while because I woke up the next day at eight in the morning. I had my phone on dnd all day yesterday so I didn't see all the text messages until I opened my eyes today. My messages are flooded from both Jam Republic and Bebe members. Bebe girls just asked to meet up one of these days whenever I was free. I'll reply to them later. My girls texted in the group chat worried because I hadn't responded all day or night yesterday. I text a simple 'I'm here' and leave it at that. Then I see a text from Bada.
Bada 🌊
(10:21 a.m.) Bada: Hey, you busy today?
(12:13 p.m.) Bada: I'm just checking in to make sure you're alright 😊
(5:45 p.m.) Bada: Hey I just finished putting together a choreo I think you'd like. I can't wait til u recover so we can dance together again! 🤭
(8:04 p.m.) Bada: Is everything ok? Let me know alright?
(11:32 p.m.) Bada: if this is abt the other night I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset Haneul. I'll apologize to him too if you want. I didn't mean to overstep and should've set some boundaries but I just thought we were having a good time. If I put u in a bad position let me know and I'll try my best to fix whatever happened ok.
That was the last text she sent me last night. I felt extremely bad because she thinks I'm mad at her. I could never be mad at her. I hurry and reply to her
Bada 🌊
Me: Hey Bada, I'm sorry I didn't get back to ur texts sooner. And no I'm not mad or anything, sorry I made u feel like I was mad
Bada: Hey. are u sure ur ok. I just wanna make sure I didn't overstep my place.
Me: omg no. ur perfectly fine. I just had to deal with some stuff yesterday and didn't see your texts. Everything's cool with us no worries 😊
Bada: Alright if u say so. How are u feeling though? Does your body still hurt?
I truly had to lie to her during this moment. My body felt like complete shit but I didn't want her to worry about me more than she already has. I can see how much she cares for me so I don't wanna be a burden on her too much with all my problems.
Bada 🌊
Me: I'm feeling a lot better, just a few more days of rest and I'll be back to bran spanking new baby 💪
Bada: that's great to hear. I'm glad you're feeling better. I can't wait to go to the dance studio. Tatter and Lusher keep asking me to bring u again. Plus I wanna show u some new moves and kinda want ur opinion from an outsider's professional perspective.
Me: oohhh tell the girls I'll try my best to be in the studio next week and I can't wait to see ur new choreo. I just know it's gonna be 🔥
Bada: thx. oh and take ur time coming back. it doesn't have to be next week. the girls will understand
Me: I will. Hey Bada, I kinda gotta go rn. I'll talk to you later ok
Bada: No problem, see u later 💙
Me: Bye 👋
I had to cut the conversation shorter than I wanted because I started to get this sharp pain in my right side. I stood up from the bed to look down at a pool of blood covering my fur blanket. I was in so much shock standing up that I didn't even know what to do. Why was I bleeding like this? I pressed my hand on the side of my stomach as I went to the guest bathroom mirror. I looked and saw the big cut on the side the taser was on. I hadn't realized he cut me here the last night. I mean he did have some rings on but I didn't know they did anything. I tried my best to stop the bleeding. Seeing the blood and then getting up quickly like I did was making me light-headed.
I rushed to find a rag to put over the bleeding spot and went to my bedroom to change into a pair of joggers and a hoodie. I switched out the rag when I was fully dressed and got my car keys, phone, and purse and left to go to the hospital. Driving was so difficult right now but I had to focus for the sake of not only my life but the others on the road. I made it to the hospital and had my hoodie up over my head and a big pair of black glasses to cover my face. The receptionist could see the blood through my hoodie and immediately called for a doctor to come help me. It wasn't long before I was taken into a room and observed.
The nurse came in to check my vitals to make sure I was ok and she had me change into a gown. I hated being at hospitals, especially alone, but right now I was scared for my life. The nurse left but not even two minutes later, the doctor came in. And just to my luck, it was Doctor Lee.
"Miss Oakley, what happened here?" he questioned with pure concern in his eyes.
"I fell over and hurt myself. I didn't realize I was bleeding until I had woken up and I was covered in blood" I said in short breaths.
"Alright, I'm gonna look you over ok. Can tell me where exactly you're injured?" I could barely speak so I just pointed to my right side. He lifted my gown to expose my throbbing right hip. I was getting queasy just seeing the bruise from my side view. At this moment the pain was too unbearable. Right before I could go unconscious, I pleaded to the doctor.
"Please. Don't tell Bada about this. Please," and then it was dark.