"So where is all your stuff anyway?" I gestured to the apartment, which looked as if no one lived here at all, while I took some bowls and put them on the counter.
"You mean clothes?" He looked at me confused.
"Personal stuff, I mean. Photos, books, or something. It looks so...empty." I shrugged my shoulders. "If it wasn't for that sweatshirt, I'd think nobody lived here." I nodded my head at the couch, over which a black sweatshirt was draped.
"I don't own anything like that."
"Oh." For some reason, I felt sorry for him.
I turned my back to him while I laid out everything I needed next to me on the counter.
"So how old is Jeremy anyway?" He spoke first after a few seconds.
"You bought him a present that costs more than anything he owns and you don't even know how old he is?" I laughed. "Twenty-nine."
As soon as his age came out of my mouth, I realized something. How old is Finn anyway?
"Um...I guess since I'm in your apartment..." I turned and leaned my hands on the counter behind me. "I should at least know how old are you." I laughed nervously. "Or you know...your last name."
My God, I'm in a stranger's apartment.
"Oh." A small smile played on his lips. "Twenty-eight. Acker."
"Twenty-four. Pierce." I said determinedly. "Nice to meet you?" I raised an eyebrow with humor.
"Yes." He laughed. "Nice to meet you."
And then we already maintained a conversation without any awkwardness. I told him how I met Jeremy and the others. And a little about what I like to do.
But I couldn't help but notice that he didn't want to talk about himself at all. I didn't go to force him into it, but still. I would like to know more about him.
After I finished the cake and stored it in the almost empty refrigerator, I had planned to wash the dishes but Finn quickly stopped me and said that if he couldn't help me with the baking, he would at least clean up.
When he said that, my pulse quickened for a moment. If only he knew that I hate cleaning up after I bake or cook. I always dreamed of finding someone to cook for and he would then clean it up.
Dream on, Lexi.
With a bowl that still had some frosting left, I sat on top of the counter, my feet not touching the ground, and licked the spoon.
"Thank you again for letting me do it here."
"Any time." He said, his back to me while he washed the dishes. "You looked good in my kitchen."
I know it wasn't an attempt to flirt, but I don't think my little naive heart knew that.
"Now you know where I live, so if you're passing by and want to stop for coffee..." He shrugged.
"You have coffee?" I frowned. This guy had a few beers in the fridge, yogurt that was probably out of warranty, and some old pizza.
He turned his head to see me. "I'll buy some." It was a promise.
"Add dessert to that and I'll be interested." I laughed as I licked the spoon and Finn turned back to the dishes.
"Deal."
"Deal." I smiled even though he couldn't see it.
"Turn around Lexi before it's too late." Said the voice in my head. "It's going to hurt."
"Lexi?" I heard his voice muffled, lost in my head. "Lexi." He repeated, his voice a little louder.
"Huh?" I looked at him.
"The bowl?"
"Oh, of course." I jumped off the counter and walked over to him.
I wanted to put the bowl in the sink, but in the process I bumped into one of the glasses, which I hadn't noticed, on the edge of the sink.
Before I realized what had happened, the loud sound of breaking glass echoed through the apartment.
The glass flew past our feet and the water at the bottom of the glass spilled out.
Out of reflex, I jumped slightly and my hands flew to my mouth. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." I started apologizing to him excessively and dropped to my knees. I started picking up the pieces of glass in my hands as I continued to apologize.
"Lexi, whoa." Finn leaned towards me. "Stop it, you're going to cut yourself."
"I didn't want to. I didn't notice it on the edge and..."
"Lexi." He gripped my wrists tightly. "Let it go."
I looked up at him and found his dark eyes, buried in mine.
I slowly dropped the glass back to the ground.
"It's okay. It's just a glass." He said in a gentle tone, his hands still on mine. "Nothing happened."
"I'm sorry." I said again, feeling the guilt in my chest.
"You apologize to me again and we're going to have a problem." He said seriously. "Careful now." He stood up, pulling me with him. "Careful." His hands dropped from my hands and landed on my waist. He lifted me up without any problem as if I weighed nothing and put me back on the counter. "Don't move." He pointed a finger at me before carefully walking out of the kitchen and returning with a small broom.
"Finn, I'm..." I started to speak as he bent back down to the floor and started cleaning up the mess I had made.
"I swear if you say you're sorry..." He looked up at me and shook his head. I immediately closed my mouth. "The world won't come crashing down because of one glass." He mumbled under his breath. "The main thing is that you didn't hurt yourself."
I looked down at my hands and the small wound that was oozing blood. "Mhm." I nodded and wiped the blood on my pants. "Um, can I use your bathroom?"
"Sure, just be careful. Here, I'll help you." He put the broom on the ground and grabbed my hand. He pulled me closer to him, away from the broken glass. "On the left." He pointed behind me and I nodded with a narrow smile.
I slammed the bathroom door behind me and leaned my back against the door. I ran my hand over my face to my hair and took a deep breath.
"Come on Lexi," I said to myself. "Wake up." I shook my head. "It was only a glass." I whispered and slowly walked over to the sink.
I turned on the cold water and put my hands under the stream. I left one there while I put the other behind my neck and breathed deeply.
When I looked up at my reflection in the mirror I felt like I was fifteen again, sitting on the top steps waiting for glass to start flying when something got out of hand.
I hate knowing what's going on with Lexi.
I hate it because there is nothing I can do. She doesn't want anyone's help.
Even a fool would realize what was going on at her house. It is reflected in her behavior.
Or maybe I can tell because I know what it's like.
The only difference is that I had my siblings to talk to because we all went through the same thing.
Absent mother and abusive father.
I wish I could help Lexi somehow. But how can I when she doesn't want it? And why would she want help from me when she has everyone else?
After today, I realize what everyone means to her.
"Jeremy is my savior..."
"Life would be boring without the twins and their silly arguments..."
"I'm sure you've noticed that Luca doesn't say much, but when he does, it's usually something I think of when I'm having a bad day..."
"I know Lincoln can be a little overprotective, but I feel safe with him. I know he would never do anything to hurt me, that he's just trying to protect me..."
I realized that each and every one of them was replacing something that her parents were supposed to give her. Especially her father.
A father is a person who is supposed to protect his children. He should support them and guide them through life. Pick them up when they fall. Give them advice when they need it. Giving them the love they can't find in their partners.
A father is supposed to be a hero to his children.
A hero. Not the villain in their life who destroys it before it even starts.
I didn't have time to stop Lexi as she ran out of the bathroom. She was talking so fast that I could barely absorb everything.
She apologized again and again before taking all her things. She said she would stop by for cake tomorrow and walked out of my apartment with a quick step.
I wanted to follow her, but I wasn't sure that was what she wanted.
I know she doesn't want to let it be known that something is wrong. She tries to be strong on the outside.
I just don't want her to feel like she has to act like that around me.
*****
She looked breathtaking.
When I saw Lexi in my doorway, I couldn't bring myself to stop looking at her.
I didn't think that a simple, pale yellow strappy dress would leave me speechless.
Or maybe it was just her.
She was holding a bag in her hand, which I assume contained a present for today's birthday boy.
"Hi." She said with a narrow smile.
"You look..." I couldn't get the word out of my head, but I said something anyway. "Good."
Oh you idiot.
"Um, thanks." She stepped from one foot to the other. "You ready to..." She pointed behind her.
"Oh, sure." I quickly came to my senses when I realized she had come so we could go to Jeremy's together.
I walked over to the fridge where I took out the cake she made yesterday and returned to her.
"And Zack?" She asked as I closed the door behind me.
"He said he would come a little later."
"Oh, okay." She nodded and started walking towards the elevator.
Without a word, we went downstairs and got into my car. Lexi put the cake on her feet and left her bag on the back seat.
I entered the address that Jeremy wrote in the message and the time when I should arrive in the navigation and left the parking lot.
I couldn't help but notice that Lexi was avoiding looking at me. She was trying to give all her attention to the city outside the car windows.
If none of us speak up soon, this twenty-minute drive is going to be horrible.
I cleared my throat which caught her attention a bit. "How was your day?"
Someone kill me. Where do my communication skills go when she's around?
"Good. You?"
Come on Finn, you have to do something. Make her laugh or something.
"Much better now." I looked at her and noticed how the corner of her mouth lifted slightly.
Even that is enough to know that we will be fine.
"I have to say...that yellow dress makes me even more convinced that you're a sunshine, sunshine." I smiled and looked at her again. Her gaze was still aloof, but her cheeks were catching a nice shade of pink.
She muttered something under her breath, but I didn't hear her.
"What?"
She said a little louder, "They have pockets."
I put my hand over my mouth and tried to hold back a laugh. "That's really important with any dress." I wanted to sound serious, but I'm not sure it came off.
"It is important." She finally looked at me.
"Of course." A small laugh escaped me. "It's really important."
"I don't know why you're even talking. You obviously know nothing about fashion." She looked me over with one quick glance.
"Ouch." I clutched my chest with one hand, smiling. "That hurts my feelings."
"Oh please." She shook her head. "Liar."
"No. No. No. My feelings are very important. More than the pockets on your clothes."
"You're not going to win this argument, Finn." She laughed. "Not this one."
And when I finally saw a smile on her lips, I couldn't even describe how it made me feel.
As if all the evil in the world had disappeared.
We made small talk the rest of the way. We laughed and "argued".
I finally helped her out of the car and together we headed to the building in front of us.
We entered the door, which was unlocked, and already there we heard voices from inside.
"That's bullshit. He's dangerous." One voice spoke up.
"Don't be stupid Lincoln. You're overdoing it this time." I heard Jeremy.
"I agree with Lincoln."
"Adrian, come on..."
"We're here!" Lexi spoke up, completely ignoring what they were saying.
Everyone immediately fell silent before we entered the apartment, even more, me right behind Lexi.
We entered the living room, which was connected to the kitchen, and Jeremy was already walking towards us.
"Happy birthday Jeremy." Lexi immediately went to hug him.
"Thank you, babe." He hugged her tightly.
When they pulled away, she held up the gift bag.
"You shouldn't have. And not even that." He pointed at me, but I'm pretty sure he meant the cake I'm holding.
"Don't talk nonsense." She walked over to me with a smile, took the cake from my hands, and went to put it on the counter in the kitchen. She yelled at one of the guys to throw her a lighter so she could light the candles.
"Finn. I'm glad you came." He walked up to me.
"Happy birthday." I picked up a small bag that contained the watch.
"You're even worse than Lexi." He laughed and took the bag from my hands. He placed it on the cabinet, next to the others. "Come sit down. Meet the others."
Oh, how I look forward to socializing.
Me too Finn, me too.