Janet
I gave Jospeh a gentle hug. "Hi Joseph" he looked more fragile since the last time I've seen him in person.
"I've been thinking about you a lot Janet. I'm glad you came" he said before leading me inside his home.
"What are you thinking about when you think of me" I asked sitting next to him on his couch.
"Do you want water" he asked dodging my question.
"Joseph? What do you think about" I asked him again.
He placed his hand on mine looking me in the eyes. "Janet I'm so thankful that I had the chance to apologize to you" Terror overtook the expression on his face. "Janet I have cancer" he said stern.
I was frozen in a daze staring at him, processing what he said. The thought of him having cancer scared me so bad I could feel my eyes begin to tear.
"Don't cry Janet, I still have time" he said making me want to cry even harder. "Jackson's don't cry! Your a Jackson Janet, lift your head up" he said lifting my head up by my chin.
I shook my head letting my tears run loose. "Janet Damita Jo, you are strong don't cry" he said before pulling me into his shoulder.
I laid my head on Joseph's shoulder for the first time ever. Mothers always been the more nurturing one. This was rare coming from Joseph. He held me till I stopped crying.
Once I was finished I lifted my head off of him. "I have some good news" I said bringing my frown into a smile.
He took a deep sigh. "Ok what is it?"
"I'm pregnant"
Jospeh instantly began to laugh. "Janet I'm happy for you" he said smiling for the first time since we sat down.
"I'm glad I got you smiling" I said enjoying his company.
Later that day I found my self staring at myself in the mirror. In my mind I judged myself. There are moments when I'm happy with the way I look. Most of the time I'm not happy when I'm looking in the mirror.
I guess today is one of the those days. As I stared at my body I held my baby bump with my left before rubbing it with my right hand. While in my deep thoughts of self judgment I could hear foot steps coming closer from behind me.
There was a warm presence behind me. I could feel his body heat on my back as I looked down at my baby bump. Next I felt him press against my booty before seeing his tan hands wrap around mine. His grip pulled my back into him. Once I finally looked up I saw Christopher behind me with face over my right shoulder.
He tilted his head towards mine giving me a adoring stare through the mirror. His dimpled grin was so cute I had to smile back as he maintained his eye contact with mine. "Whatcha thinking about" he asked me.
"You don't wanna know" I chuckled.
"Are you not feeling yourself again?"
"Not today"
"You are sooo beautiful" he said before kissing my cheek. "And you will always be beautiful. Janet you age fine like wine" I could feel his hips going in a back and forth motion.
I couldn't help but to giggle at him. "Now tell me, what it is that you don't like about yourself today" he questioned bringing his attention back to me.
I looked away from his eyes avoiding them as I recalled on why I felt the way I felt. "You saw the picture they used?"
"Yeah, what you don't like the picture?" I could feel his stomach moving as he chuckled a little.
After announcing the pregnancy to all of my family and friends. I went public announcing it to the world. I took a photoshoot for the world to see and everyone decided to publish my least favorite picture from the shoot.
"I hate that picture Christopher" I watched him grin in the mirror. "I'm serious Christopher" my forehead creased.
"What's so bad about it" he asked shrugging his shoulders.
I sucked my teeth. "Christopher I look fat!"
His eyes rolled around in his head before he shook it. "I gotta go through this with you once a month" he chuckled. "You are not fat" he said in a deep breathy tone.
He began to twist his mouth staring at me in the mirror. "What is it now" I questioned.
He squinted his eyes at me holding his stare. "I'm removing the word fat from your vocabulary" he held his stare.
My eyes widened as my face began to lit up. "No! Who are you to remove words from my vocabulary" he had me smiling.
I could see my cheeks turning red in the mirror. "I'm daddy" he said in a silly sarcastic tone. "You are banned from calling yourself fat. Understood" he questioned in a serious tone.
"Yes daddy"
"Mmhhmm that sounds like music to my ears" he said in playful tone making me laugh.
"You always cheer me up. Thank you baby"
He placed another gentle kiss on my cheek. "Your welcome" he said before leaving a stinging lingering feeling on my behind after slapping it.
My jaw dropped to the floor as I watched him leave the room from the mirror. Everyone was so amazed at my pregnancy. All of the headlines said Janet Jackson Pregnant At 50. At this time my siblings also decided to spend more time with Joseph knowing his illness.
In my second trimester I did a lot of eating and craved a lot of seafood. "Thanks for taking me out to lunch" I said once we sat down.
Tasha threw her right hand like it was nothing while twisting her mouth. "Janet you don't have to thank me. You know your one of my favorite people in the whole world"
I could feel my cheeks rise as my face began to smile. "Awe your one of my favorite people too" I said before looking at the menu.
"Whatever you want it's on me Janet" Tasha said.
My jaw gaped. "No" I whispered.
"Janet it's on me, it's my treat" a smile grew on her face. "You don't have to thank me, just tell me how you've been doing?"
Tasha made me feel so comfortable I knew I could tell her anything. "I've been good, I'm blessed" I said looking down at my baby bump.
"Yes you are" she raised on brow. "That baby is a miracle" she said before looking through the menu.
"How are you Tasha?"
"Good do you notice anything new" she said batting her eyes while holding up her left hand.
"Oh my god" I gasped looking at the big rock on her finger. "He proposed?"
"Yes girl and I want you to be in the wedding. Janet will you be my bridesmaid" she asked with awe over her face.
"Yes, Tasha I'd be happy to"
Eventually the waiter came and took our orders. As we waited for our food we ran out of things to say. So I decided to tell her something I haven't told anyone except for family.
"Tasha" I said as she held her head down scrolling through her phone.
Tasha's head shot up to my attention. She made eye contact with her wide eyes. "Yeah?"
"Jospeh has cancer" I blurted out.
Her face went blank as if she seen a ghost. "Oh my god Janet" her forehead creased. "I'm so sorry to hear that. What type does he have?"
"Lung" I said avoiding eye contact. "Tasha I'm so scared he keeps talking crazy"
"What is he saying?"
"He keeps telling my brothers what type of casket he wants and what colors he wants us to wear to his funeral"
"Do you know how much time he has?"
"I don't know, no one knows. He's so secretive he won't let me nor my siblings go to his doctor appointments with him" I whined.
"Well, Janet I know you don't want to hear this but I'm going to tell you the honest truth. He's being secretive because he has too much pride. There's nothing you can do but be supportive and love him while he's here"
I knew I could tell Tasha because her sister is a cancer survivor. She's been in my shoes and knows more than me.
"It's normal for people with cancer to be secretive. Sometimes they feel embarrassed or they feel like a burden. Jospeh just has too much pride. He's used to being the provider, the father who raised the Jackson's. He doesn't want to be the sick old dad" she finished.
I nodded my head taking in what she had said. "Your right" I sighed.
"When am I not" she said with her big smile brightening her mood.
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Thank you for reading. Happy Holidays🫶🏽✨