.
TW:
Drinking
Betting
This is obviously meant to be a DND adventure so... probably not for everyone-
I thought of this after watching Jainden's video about her DND adventure and so I thought fuck it! I've only played DND 3 times, 2 times not getting anywhere and the other time spent sooo long with it until I stopped playing. So... Have fun!
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// Narrator POV //
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Our journey begins in a small town, with cobble roads and a lively market. In this town is a tavern, owned by the king that ruled over the nation.
The tavern was run by Wilbur Soot, once a famous necromancer shamed into hiding his powers and turning to the good side.
The tavern was never too full but never empty either, making sure that Wilbur could see everything going on, just in case of troublemakers.
On this faithful day, he couldn't help but notice a large party forming at one of the smaller tables, along with loud noises coming from it.
Wilbur couldn't take his eyes off the table, sensing something bad was going to happen.
"Exxcusee meee!" A blond snapped his fingers in front of Wilburs face making him look at the man, "Yes? How can I help you?" He sighed, glancing back at the table.
"Hello good sir," The blonde greeted, "Me and my adult friends would like to acquire your beverages," He smiled, making his two friends facepalm, "Tommy, what the fuck is wrong with you?" A smaller brunette mumbled to his friend who shot a glare back at him.
Wilbur just stood there with a raised brow, "Uhm... what...?"
The much taller of the three raised their hand as they cleared their throat, "We uhm... would like some drinks.. please..." They smiled. Wilbur slowly nodded as he glanced back over to the table, "What can I get you three?"
"I'll have some honey tea please," The brunette smiled, softly nudging the taller creature who was half black and white, "Oh and... I'll have... milk?.... Chocolate-"
Wilbur slowly nodded and wrote them down, "And you?" He looked back at 'Tommy'
"Onee beer please," He smiled.
Wilbur just nodded, "Take a seat I'll have your drinks done in a moment," He left to take care of his job.
Meanwhile, at the table. A glass was slammed down onto the oak table, and a small duck hybrid stood up with a proud grin, "FUCK YEAH, FUCKER!" He cheered, taking all the gold, silver, and copper that was on the table.
A green slimy fellow cheered with him, clapping his hands as the other men around them groaned in agony.
"You're cheating man!" The guy across from the hybrid accused him, slamming his fist on the table, "No way a scrawny guy like you could win against me!" He hit his chest like a gorilla.
"How could I cheat, dipshit?" The raven-haired male furrowed his brows as he swept the coins into his bag.
"I don't know... Your beer was watered down or something!" He shouted, towering over the small Mexican, "Why would I do that," He blinked, glaring up at the man who walked over to him, "To get our fucking money you thief," He hissed.
The short man wasn't having this shit, he gripped the guy by his collar and held his dagger to his throat.
"Funny. I didn't think you wanted to fucking die today," The duck hissed, slamming the guy's head onto the table. He looked around at everyone else, "Anyone else wanna bitch about this?" He glared at everyone who backed away, "That's what I thought." He smiled.
"Excuse me." A gruff voice lowly hissed from behind him.
The human slime morphed eyes onto the back of his head to see who it was, "Uhm... Quackity-" He muttered, making Quackity look behind him to be met with the bartender, "Oh- good day sir," He smiled, hiding his heavy bag behind his back.
"What seems to be going on here?" He looked at the man who was knocked out on the table and the hoard who was now leaving the tavern. "Nothing much, what seems to have brought you here?" The hybrid quickly responded, cocking his brow.
Wilbur looked at the man and then at the myriad of beer glasses surrounding him and the table, "Who's going to pay for all of this," He cocked a brow at Q who stared back, "Well... how much is it?"
Wilbur sighed and quickly counted how many glasses there were, "40 gold." He blinked, looking back at Quackity.
"Hmmmm... you know money's a little tight right now, could I just put it on a tab?" He smiled, hiding his bag from the angry man, "No. Pay up," He put his hand out and Quackity sighed, rolling his eyes as he looked through his bag, "Are you willing to go down on the price?" He hummed, glancing up at Wilbur who shook his head, "No."
"Well... what if~ I pay you 30 gold and... pay you some other way~" He purred, slightly narrowing his eyes. "I would like some money for all the damn beer you drank." He huffed, not really offended by the bribe...
Quackity rolled his eyes and took out a small bag then handed it to Wilbur who took the bag and felt something was off, "Well, now that you've gotten paid, my friend and I should be on our way," Quackity tried to quickly push Charlie out of the bar, but a tar hand formed out of the wall to slam it shut.
"I'm going to need you to pay in gold. Not stone." He opened the small sack and dumped out all the small rocks Quackity had in there.
Quackity looked at Charlie and then back at the bartender and rolled his eyes, "Fineee, damn." He counted out 40 gold and put it in Wilburs hand, "There you go."
The necromancer looked down at the gold and put it in a small bag he had on his belt, "Thank you."
"So what, you just have a guy in the walls to do that?" The hybrid cocked a brow as he followed him over to the bar where the three travelers were still sitting, just watching al of this play out, "No." Wilbur simply answered, going behind the bar.
Quackity stared at him, analyzing his face before he looked at his friend, "Where have we seen that face before," He whispered. Charlie thought for a moment, forming into a slime puddle.
"What the fuck's wrong with your friend-" Tommy questioned, staring down at Charlie. "Nothing. That's how he thinks," Quackity shrugged, sitting down at the bar.
"...Okay... anywayyy," He turned to Quackity, "Are you looking for an adventure?" He smiled.
Quackity blinked at him and looked at his still-full beer glass, "I'm looking to get hammered. Mide giving me your drink?" He raised a brow and Tommy slid it over to him, "Sure. Any wayyy, I know who you are."
Quackity stopped drinking and removed the glass from his lips, "Excuse me?" He furrowed his brows.
"You're the duck!" He smiled, "A powerful rogue who steals from kingdoms?" Tommy smiled calmly, meanwhile Wilbur slightly glared over at the two, "You what-"
"Hey hey-" He raised his hands up in defense I don't do that anymore," He rolled his eyes and chugged the beer, "Not since the tight ass in charge became a puss." Quackity huffed.
Wilbur walked over to them and rested his hands on the table, "Who are you?" He cocked a brow staring directly at Quackity, Charlie morphed back into his human form and looked at his partner in crime, "Wilbur Soot: Wanted for 10000 Gold," He answered.
Quackity perked up and looked back at Wilbur, "Damn. Didn't think someone worth that much would be in this shit hole."
Wilbur tensed up and glared at Quackity, "That's in my past. I don't talk about that-" He hissed, "And why do you just have that fucking memorized-" He shot a glare at Charlie who tapped his head, "I take in in formation," He smiled.
"Where's your brain?" The tallest friend mumbled.
"I have none!" He smiled. Quackity nodded and suck his hand into Charlies head, "See? Nothing in there."
Charlie chuckled, "My head tickles." Quackity took his hand out and shook some of the slime off of it, "Where the fuck did you find this guy," Wilbur muttered, "No way he's natural..."
"You're right. A while back my group and I were in a swap fucking around and my sorcerer friend just learned a new spell from this old fucker and we were looking for something to use it on," He started, looking over at the three boys to make sure they were paying attention, "Then I saw this gross booger on a rock and said he should try it on that."
"At first it didn't work so then he tried again, then it got bigger and grew eyes that stared at us. We assumed we just pissed off something that was already living off but then it just... moved like a snail and morphed into the sorcerer," He smiled, "Then... he just never left," The hybrid shrugged, "After years my friends either fucked off... died, or went to start their one adventure... Until it was just us left." Quackity looked back at Charlie who was just smiling, "Sure he's a slime ball without a brain, but he's my friend."
"Touching... now what was that about robbing kingdoms?" Wilbur cocked a brow, not enjoying the sap story, "What was that about blowing up a kingdom?" He shot back with a smirk.
Tommy looked between the two and looked back at his friends, "Anyone else getting weird vibes from this?" He blinked.
"Yeah-" Tubbo muttered, looking at Wilbur and Quackity who were having a glaring battle.
"Any wayyy, we are in need of your help," Tommy coughed, interrupting the staring match, "What do you need-" He sighed, already having enough of this child.
"My friends and I are in need of some assistance to-"
"We need your help taking down the king," Tubbo interrupted, covering Tommys mouth.
"WHAT?" Wilbur perked up looking at Tubbo.
"Oh don't act like you care. We all know you were guilted into not using your magic anymore," He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"You know magic?" Quackity blinked, looking at Wilbur, "Oooooh, that's what the tar hand wassss-"He mumbled.
Wilbur sighed and rolled his eyes, "I chose this."
"That's sad," Quackity blinked, "Why would you choose this?" He cocked a brow, "This is crap- giving this child beer-" He motioned to Tommy.
"...Wait- how old are you-" Wilbur looked at Tommy who blinked, "18."
"You look 12," Quackity blinked, slightly glaring at Tommy.
"ANY WAY," He cleared his throat, "We need your help taking down the king. He's been in rule for too long!"
Quackity blinked and sighed, "Can you get me a glass of wine?" He looked at Wilbur who grabbed a bottle and a glass, pouring one for him. "Thanks, fuck boy," He winked, sipping the wine, "Any wayyy, while I agree there's no fucking way I could help you," He shrugged, "That bastard has too much security and like hell am I going back to jail."
Tommy looked back at Tubbo who sighed, "But you're like... the only person here without a stick up his ass!" He groaned. Quackity looked over at him, "Sorry. but without any magic or... literally anyone with skills of value we would all die." He blatantly started, sipping more of his wine.
"...Like a necomancer?" Tommy hummed, glancing over at Wilbur who glared at him, "No."
"There's no way that tight ass would want to fight against the king," Quackity slightly glared at Wilbur who rolled his eyes, "I value my life."
"Then why do you let this place control it," He stood up, glaring at Wilbur, "If you value your life so much then why not fight for it?" He coked a brow, holding eye contact with Wilbur.
.
.
.
"Can I roll for intimidation? Is that a thing?" Alex looked over at Dream who blinked and nodded, rolling a D-20, "17." Both Dream and Alex looked at Wilbur who was laughing, "Okay- can I... roll to not go along with this?" He chuckled.
Dream rolled something and looked at Wilbur, "You rolled a 4." He smiled.
"Aaalllrightt-" Wilbur learned his throat.
.
.
.
Wilbur sighed and hung up his apron up, turning to everyone else, "Alright... you've convinced me."
"FUCK YEAH!" Tommy cheered. Quackity was mostly confused but was happy with the result.
"Alright... if we're going to take down the king then..." He looked over at the trio and softly sighed, "We're gonna need some training-"
"Why the fuck am I supposed to train these fuckers when I have no idea what I'm doing?" Alex questioned, looking at Charlie who was dying of laughter, "I'll help- I'll help," He smiled.
"Alright... so next time we'll deal with that shit," Dream hummed, "Good job everyone."
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-Word Count: 2032-
I hope you liked this!
I know I haven't been posting anything but... here's this-
I might make this a little series of oneshots idk, but I hope you enjoyed!
Anywayy, I hope you all have a wonderful Day/Afternoon/Night
Make sure you eat something and drink your holy water!