NIKKI
-
FATHER DAUGHTER time is great. I love spending alone time with Storm, pushing her on the swing, swimming with her while she wears her dinosaur bathing suit. But I miss doing those things as an entire family.
Bella should hopefully be back soon. Gunner will be here sometimes. And if we stay on track we should all be back home in no time.
"Just another two weeks," Bella told me, "I'm probably gonna end up back home and then I'll find a flight to Vancouver," she explains, "I'm stuck with the most immature band I've ever worked with, like IMMATURE."
"Define immature," I say.
"Well," she quiets down, "the other day Slash walked in on James fucking a groupie on Slash's bed."
"Ew."
"Yeah and he was just saying 'that'll be fine,' the entire time," she says.
"That's definitely something," I shake my head, "I've probably done that before."
"Wouldn't be surprised."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" I ask pretending to be offended.
BELLA
-
"LETS TALK Camus," Dylan says as I'm filling out some paperwork on the bus.
"We've talked Camus," I say, "let's pick someone else."
"Then who?" He asked.
"How about," this was a hard one, "Sylvia Plath."
Sylvia Plath was brilliant in my opinion. One of my favorite quotes from her was from the only novel she ever wrote. The Bell Jar.
"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree from the story. From the tip of every branch, a wonderful future beckoned and winked..." she goes through every future she saw on each fig. A husband and children, a famous poet, a professor.
For quite some time I thought of my life like this. She implies she could only have one of these futures, it was one or the other. When Tim died I thought I wasn't going anywhere, I thought I was just going to have to live a boring life, the same life everyone else lives.
Later on in life I realized, I could live at least a little bit of every branch. I could tour but still have a husband and kids. Continue to do what I love while also showing my family how much I love them.
Again, it the book was published in thirty years ago. A time when women were still only housewives and had a hard time getting jobs.
"What about her?" Dylan asks making me remember we were even talking in the first place.
"Let's just talk about Voltaire!"
-
We got to our destination and started to set up and once we finished I laid down in the Green Room.
Slash came in and picked up some food, "hey."
"Hey," I respond and take a sip of cold water.
"Are you ignoring me?" Slash asks.
"No," I sat on the couch, turned toward the wall and rested my eyes for a second.
"Feels like you are," he says.
"I'm not," my eyes close again and the couch becomes more comfortable. As I sink in I get closer and closer to sleep. Then finally...
"Why are you so bitter?" He wakes me up making my scoff, "seriously, why are you so mad?"
"Maybe don't supply my husband with enough drugs to make him overdose and I'll consider being friends with you again," I stand up and walk down the hall.
"His addiction was not my fault," he says.
"I never said that!"
"Well you're acting like it!"
"I never said the addiction itself I'm saying you paid for drugs that almost killed him," I keep walking but he was persistent.
"He asked for them!"
"You're right," I admit and then find another room to lay down in.
"What was that all about?" Dylan asks.
"Nikki's overdose."
"I figured that," he sat down in front of my legs.
"I'm just holding a grudge," I sigh.
"Was the dick good?"
"Dylan!" I smack his arm.
"Sorry, I'm just assuming it's gotta do with that at least a little," he puts his hands up in defense.
"Well it doesn't, and in fact I had to do most of the work so no it wasn't that great," I huff.
"Eh that's sounds about right," Dylan says and we stay silent.
"Heh-" I let out one chuckle then make eye contact with Dylan and start cackling.
"Was it really- that bad?" He asks while laughing.
"It could have been worse," our laughing calms down.
-
Dylan and I went out with all the roadies to celebrate "Do you ever think about whose atoms are like on your skin right now?" I ask feeling a little tipsy.
"What do you mean?" He yells over the music.
"You know how when you die the atoms that created you travel to other things or people?" I say.
"Oh yeah sure!"
"Do you ever think about who might be attached to you? Like maybe the atoms that were on Marilyn Monroe's nose are the ones on my elbow," I hope so.
"Not really," he shrugs, "I think you're just drunk."
"Probably," I stand up, "I think I'm gonna call Nikki," I pat his back as I make my way outside.
My heels became hard to walk in so I grabbed onto the grimy wall for stability and then dialed the phone number.
"Hey Nikki," I slur.
"Bella, what's going on?" He asks concerningly.
"Oh nothing, Dylan and I just went to a bar," I explain, "all the roadies are celebrating."
"Are you drunk?" He asks making me giggle.
"Maybe a little," I laugh a little, "can I talk to Storm?"
"Bella you're drunk," he says disappointed.
"I still wanna talk to her," I groan, "maybe we can have a little fun when I get back to the hotel room?"
"No. You should go back and drink some water," he says, "please get back to your room safe."
"I will."
We hung up and I went back inside, "let's get back to the room and drink a bottle of wine!"
NIKKI
-
WE SAT AT the dinner table after Bella and I hung up. It's a bit weird seeing her go out and get drunk.
"What's on your mind dude?" Tommy asks putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Just, Bella."
"What about her?" Mick asks.
"She just called me and she's super wasted," I sigh.
"And that concerns you why?" John asks.
"She just doesn't typically drink like that," I explain, "at least she hasn't for awhile."
"Let the girl have fun, don't be such a wuss," John pushes my shoulder.
"We have kids I don't think having fun like that is an option ," I roll my eyes.
"She's doing it while she's on tour, it's not affecting Storm or Gunner in any way," Tommy says, "one night of going out won't turn her into an alcoholic."
"Yeah," I say, "I guess your right."
-
okay, so lately i've been struggling on getting chapters written, edited and posted in time so i was thinking of switching my schedule to weekends only, so i can have time to work on this. if i get a chance to pre write more chapters then i may reconsider but for now i am going to stick to this! thank you for understanding <3
-sincerely, the writer