The door was pushed frontwards, right after a soft click was heard.
The wooden floor creaked lightly as he stepped inside, his hand firmly holding the door knob.
Red and beige walls with shelves that contained books, to small plushies and picture frames...Some large plushies laying by the floor, in a huge white carpet that covered much of the wooden floor, with a large baby playing carpet in the middle of it.
He could see those plushies with the smiley faces, that big lion standing by the white curtains with that big smile.
He stepped inside of the bedroom, leaving the door open behind him and not caring if it was open or not.
He walked around that bedroom, his view focusing on new things as he stood in the middle of the bedroom. He could see that baby car with all of its accessories standing by the wall, left unused. He also caught the glimpse of that wall that covered a corner of the bedroom and a window, as if it was a bathroom. And, against that wall, there was a commode; on it, a vase of flowers, a couple frames and a plush.
He walked towards it, his eyes not leaving the frames laying on top of the commode.
One, the last ultrasound that had been made to his grandson.
The other one, it was Jimin with Minjeong sitting in what he recognized to be a couch, Jimin smiling warmly at the camera as her girlfriend kissed her cheek tenderly, Minjeong's arms hugging her tight.
"...Haneul ah," He began, taking in a deep breath as he looked around the bedroom again, now noticing the crib by another window that was previously hidden by the wall, "Jimin's really good at home-decorating, isn't she? She made such a lovely bedroom for our grandson."
He smiled softly, "...Jeongwoo could have had such a good life with his mother but I..."
He looked down, shaking his head.
"...I was the one who took him away from Jimin."
He looked around again, but he stopped right away as he spotted something on the top of the commode that he hadn't noticed before.
He walked towards the furniture piece, taking what looked like a medium-sized notebook into his hands, staring down at it intently before he even started flipping through its pages.
He stopped as soon as he recognized his daughter's handwriting; and it wasn't too long before he realized it was a diary written by her when she was pregnant with her son.
He held the diary cautiously in his hands, before he sat down on a swing chair next to the window, his eyes never leaving the diary.
–
By: Eomma
Date: 07/09/2020
Dear baby,
Hello! This is eomma :D. I'm the crazy person who speaks to you when you're not expecting it and who never gets your reply back D:...For now, right? Eomma is pretty sure you'll answer me in some weeks? Even if it's just a small kick (don't be too rough because it hurts), eomma will be happy to know you're okay ^^
Mama is a random girl with emo hair who wears reading glasses when she feels like it and is studying all day long. She's a lovable idiot who makes my day funnier and loves me a lot. (This is a secret but I think she likes you a lot too).
Mama and eomma are getting married in a couple weeks, isn't that great?! Mama and eomma were living in Switzerland until yesterday. It's very, very, very far away from Korea. I hope you didn't get dizzy during the flight @_@ Eomma fell asleep during the flight because I was really tired T__T and mama kept saying I was snoring when I woke up. Told you she's an idiot.
Eomma talked to Grandpa and then went shopping with Auntie Giselle during the afternoon. It's past 11PM and eomma should go to sleep already, I'm so tired T__T. I hope you don't mind.
Eomma will talk to you tomorrow again!
XOXO
-Eomma Rina.
–
By: Eomma
Date: 07/10/2020
Dear baby,
Mama visited eomma yesterday night in secret, she climbed up my balcony kkk~ But you're too young to understand so, keep it a secret! Don't tell anyone, understand? Eomma trusts you a lot so don't disappoint eomma D:
By the way, did you like it when eomma played the piano? Ahhhh I hope so, honey. Eomma loves to play the piano so you and mama will listen to it a loooot!!
XOXO
-Eomma Jimin.
–
By: Eomma
Date: 07/11/2020
Dear baby,
Mama spent the night at eomma's bedroom with eomma ~ Eomma fell asleep when mama was hugging me ://) It was so warm and cozy, I love it so much ^^ Grandpa was at home and I actually had to hide mama away from grandpa. Haha :3
Eomma made some coffee for mama and we talked for a while before mama left and went home. Mama kissed my cheek and I ended up falling asleep again. Mama makes me sleepy and comfy :)
Eomma's going to try on her wedding dress today with auntie Gi and mama's coming to see eomma again tonight. I'm going to meet mama's parents and your uncles and aunt. Wish eomma luck and don't tell mama ;)
XOXOOOOO
-Eomma Rina.
–
By: Eomma
Date: 07/12/2020
Dear baby,
Eomma's really worried about mama lately. Eomma slept with mama last night but when she woke up she was really sad. When your mama smiles, she does it in the most covered up way she possibly can; but she can't hide it because she has such beautiful dimples ^__^...But mama's smile was so sad today. Mama and eomma fought with grandpa yesterday, but mama's really hurt...I feel bad for her.
So, eomma's going to see mama tonight. I hope I can make her smile again :D. I'll ask her to write about this, too :3.
XOXXXXXXO,
- Eomma Rina.
–
By: Eomma
Date: 07/13/2020
Dear baby,
Mama went to heaven today.
- Eomma.
–
His heart almost stopped beating when he read that single, meaningful sentence.
'Mama went to heaven today.'
Up until that day, his daughter would finish her entries with a sweet 'Eomma Rina' and an XO. But then, there was just that; a dry 'Eomma' at the end of that sentence.
He flipped through pages, noticing that the pages right after that were blank.
He hurriedly flipped through the pages, noticing that there were a lot of entries written after those blank pages. He quickly assumed those were her thoughts after she recovered from Minjeong's accident and fully accepted her pregnancy.
But then, pages became blank again.
He hurriedly went back, and stared intently at the sheet of paper as he read the last message she had ever written in that diary.
–
By: Yu Jimin
Date: 03/14/2021
Dear baby,
I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.
-Jimin.
–
The pang he felt on his heart was horrible. That message had been written the day she had attempted to commit suicide; and she had completely dropped the previous treatment. She had stopped calling herself 'eomma', and now called herself just, purely, Jimin.
It didn't take long for Sooman to realize that his daughter had been blaming herself for the disappearance of her son for the past 7 years.
She had been blaming herself, when he clearly was the one at fault.
He closed the diary and held on his hands, pursing his lips as he stared at his front.
"...What have I done, Haneul ah..."
_____________________________________________________________________
Jimin sat silently on the plastic chair of the hospital hall, staring at the wall in front of her.
She looked lost, and scared.
Lost, because she didn't know what she should do. She didn't know where she should go, she didn't know what she should think. She didn't know how she should act in front of people, she didn't even know how she should feel right in that moment.
She felt lost, because she was scared.
Scared of losing her. Scared of losing one of the few people who managed to get a genuine smile from her. Scared of losing everything that meant happiness for her.
She was scared.
Scared that she could fall asleep and that she would already be gone when she woke up.
She took in a shaky breath and stared at the ward Minjeong was in from afar. Right at that moment, her mother was visiting her, and she was actually glad her mother could have some time alone with her daughter.
But at the same time, it killed her.
It killed her because something could be happening to her, right in that moment, and she was just there, in a hallway, waiting for answers.
"...Coffee?"
She looked up, surprised to find Minjeong's best friend staring down at her with a gentle smile. She didn't know Yunjin much personally, but she perfectly knew who she was and what she looked like.
Jimin pursed her lips slightly before they curved up a little bit, showing her a little smile as if she was thanking her for the kind gesture she had just made.
"...Thank you."
She took in a ship of the hot beverage, letting it slide down her throat as she just stared at the cup blankly. She breathed in and out steadily, calming herself down, although she knew it wouldn't be of much help in the state she was in and during that crucial moment of her life.
"...You should go home, eat, take a shower and sleep...You have a baby to take care of."
Jimin chuckled sadly.
"...I want to but...I can't leave her."
Yunjin smiled sympathetically at the younger female, turning her back around so that she could face her, "Jimin shii, I will take care of Minjeong for you tonight. And even if I have to leave for a moment, her mother will be here. But you really need to sleep and spend some minutes with your daughter. It will ease your heart."
Jimin gulped down silently, her thumb caressing the cup's surface.
"...Maybe you're right...But I feel strengthless..."
Yunjin sighed and leaned up a little on her seat, sneaking her hand inside of her pants' pockets, obviously searching for something. Jimin didn't feel like bothering her, so she just took in another sip of coffee, momentarily drowning in her own world.
"...Mi Joon did this for Minjeong."
Jimin's eyes looked further than the cup, noticing a folded paper on the older woman's hands. Jimin politely took it away from her hands, holding the folded white paper on her delicate fingers.
Jimin's tears came to her eyes as she stared down at the drawing the little boy had made for her girlfriend; there was her girlfriend drawn in that piece of paper, a cute and gentle smile on her face; and she could also spot a kid drawn next to her, both holding hands while eating ice cream.
Mama! Get well soon! You still have to buy me ice cream :)
Jimin smiled softly, a tear rolling down her left cheek, before she took in a shaky breath. Yunjin looked at her with a soft smile, understanding how hard this situation was for her and what her feelings probably were.
"...Thank you," She whispered in a nearly silent combination of words, holding the paper even tighter than before.
For her, she just felt even sadder after seeing that.
Their child, their baby, their Jeongwoo...He was the same age as Mi Joon. For a very brief moment, Jimin imagined that it had been her son that had made that for his mama, as if nothing had ever happened; but she knew things wouldn't be like that.
She blinked quickly, looking up at Yunjin again.
"...I'm checking up on Minjeong and I'm going home afterwards. Thank you so much."