It was only a few short days at the hospital before the family returned home. They were working to fall into their own little routine, though Rosa was mostly in control of that. Thankfully, she was a fairly good sleeper, though they'd learned quickly that she liked to be touched until she fell asleep.
Ava was immensely grateful for Sebastian, Luca, and Georgetta. Thankfully, she was producing more milk than Rosa could eat so she was able to pump and have them help with feedings.
Sebastian had had to meet his trainer for a gym session so now Ava sat on the couch with Luca, who was carefully feeding Rosa a bottle.
"Good job, papito," she praised as she watched.
"Thank you, mama," Luca said proudly. He had cried when he first met his little sister and had always wanted to be near her since. "I like helping with Rosa."
"I'm glad you do," she replied sweetly, reaching out to brush a bit of his hair out of his face. "Have you been sleeping okay? I know school starts again soon and you need to have enough rest."
Luca shrugged. "Sometimes Rosa wakes me up. But she's just a baby, I know she doesn't understand."
Ava leaned in and pressed a kiss against Luca's forehead. "You're such a good big brother," she told him warmly, giving him a gentle squeeze as she heard the front door open.
"I'm home!" Sebastian called happily. He stepped in the door and sat his gym bag on the floor for a moment so he could take off his tennis shoes.
"How was your workout?" Ava asked as she peered back over her shoulder. "Lift many heavy things?"
With a laugh, Sebastian walked in from the kitchen, still sweaty from his workout. "I did. Ran a bit too."
"No dad bod in the cards for you right now, huh?" she asked with a teasing grin.
Sebastian raised a teasing eyebrow at Ava. "Not quite," he smirked.
"Oh no, I'm so disappointed," she replied with a playful wink. She sat up a little from her position on the couch. "Luca has been such a wonderful helper while you were gone."
"I'm glad," Seb smiled. He reached out to ruffle Luca's hair. "I'm gonna take a shower, will you three be okay?"
"We will," Luca assured as Rosa finished her bottle. "Mami, can you do the burping?" He asked.
Ava nodded gently before reaching out to take the baby from him. "Si, papito," she agreed as Sebastian disappeared into the bedroom.
Sebastian yawned as he shut the bedroom door behind him and stripped off his shirt and put it in the hamper, then he shed his shorts and boxers before walking into the ensuite bathroom to prepare the shower.
As Ava placed Rosa over her shoulder, she didn't have enough time to place the burp cloth before the baby spit up all over her blouse. "Oh geez, and down my shirt too," she groaned with a small laugh.
"Okay, come with Mama while we go change," she said, standing up and carrying Rosa with her into the bedroom.
Hearing the door open, Sebastian ducked his head out of the bathroom door to see Ava. "Everything okay?"
"Si," Ava sighed. "Just changing after a small eruption," she explained, setting Rosa down in her bassinet so she could pull her top off.
Sebastian chuckled. "I'll be out in a bit, okay?"
"Okay," she agreed distractedly, her focus more on changing so that she could continue to burp Rosa. Once she was changed, she left the bedroom again and sat back in the rocking chair they'd put out in the living room.
After a quick shower, Sebastian dressed and took care of the soiled clothes so they wouldn't stain and went ahead and started a load of clothes.
Ava rocked back and forth with Rosa, singing quietly to her in Spanish. Once she finished burping, she changed the little girl's position in her arms to make an effort to rock her to sleep.
"Do you want me to start dinner?" Seb asked when he emerged. "Or does Luca need help with homework?"
"I think he just needs to read, right papito?" she asked, her voice hushed as she cradled Rosa.
"Uh huh. I can do it now," Luca replied, pushing himself off of the couch and heading to his room.
"Dinner would be welcome," she said to Sebastian. "I'll help, if she'll let me put her down."
"What're you in the mood for tonight?" He asked.
"Anything that's easy," she answered, feeling a bit too overextended to make that kind of decision at the moment. "Your mother may have left something to reheat."
Sebastian walked up to her and bent down to kiss her temple. "I'll check the fridge," he murmured.
"Gracias, Papi," she said gratefully, reaching up to caress the side of his face. "Could you also bring me something for my head? It's starting to hurt behind my eyes," she admitted softly. She'd been having more headaches lately since Rosa was born.
"Of course. Do you want your tea with it?" He asked.
"Um hm," she agreed, glancing down at the baby as she cooed and squirmed. "She's being a difficult sleeper today."
"Is her belly bothering her?" He asked curiously. Seb turned and walked into the kitchen and checked the fridge. He was instantly happy to see a pasta bake he could heat in the oven.
"She's had some gas," she acknowledged, moving to rest Rosa on her thighs so that she could pump her legs gently. "Spit up a few times as well. I've changed three times so far," she sighed.
"Poor girl. I wonder if she has reflux," he suggested. Sebastian heated up the oven and sat the dish on the counter.
"She could," Ava replied as she gently tried to soothe their daughter's tummy. "There hasn't been much sleep around here today, so just fair warning."
Sebastian nodded softly. "I can help tonight and let you get some sleep," he told her as he put the dish in the oven.
She sighed softly and nodded. The truth was, if Rosa was awake, so was she. She could hear every cry, every whine, every peep she made. "Gracias, Papi."
He furrowed his brow slightly as Luca announced he was going to go play games with his friends. "Honey? Are you okay?"
Ava closed her eyes at the question, instant guilt filling her chest. She didn't want to worry Sebastian. "I am, I'm just... today has been kind of a difficult day," she admitted quietly.
Sebastian walked over to the couch and sat down beside her. "What do you need?"
She turned her head to look at him, eyes glassy with tears in spite of her efforts. "I don't know," she told him honestly. She hadn't wanted Luca to see her cry today when she couldn't get Rosa to stop crying or when her breast had started bleeding. She'd also gotten a call she wasn't quite ready to deal with.
"Hey, hey..." he gently cupped her face in his hands. "Breathe, baby. I'm right here. Deep breaths."
Her jaw quivered as she took slow, deep breaths, her arms steadying Rosa in her lap. She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat and after a few moments, she rested her forehead on his shoulder. "You being here helps," she told him, her voice choked in her throat.
"I'll do anything to help you," he whispered. Sebastian rubbed the back of her neck gently and hummed a slow song. Their wedding song.
As she recognized the song, silent tears fell from her eyes. He was so good to her. She found such comfort in the closeness of him. "Maybe all I need is to eat, take a shower, and go to sleep," she finally said. She hoped that would be the cure. "And... the lawyer called today," she added quietly.
He kissed her temple and pulled back to look at her. "We can do all of that. What did the lawyer say?"
She sat up a little, though she stayed close to him. "I have to give a... I think he said dep-deposition?" She shared, hoping he'd know what she was talking about. "A taped one... so Javier's lawyers can prepare."
"You need to tell your side of the story, so the court knows what to expect," he replied.
"But I have to say it... the same way I'm going to say it in court," she explained as her nerves roiled in her belly. "You know I sometimes have problems with English, or remembering words..."
"I know honey, easy," he said softly. "Would you like a translator with you? I would be with you if I could. But I'll be right in the next room."
She took another deep breath, eyes moving down to Rosa as she seemed to settle down. "I could have one. A translator?" she asked hopefully. She hated that he couldn't be there with her, but she has to do this. She had to stand up to Javier.
"I feel so... fragile right now," she admitted to him softly.
"You can have whatever you need. You have the best lawyer and I know Torres will help you," he murmured softly.
She nodded quietly and brushed a bit of her hair out of her face as she began to softly bounce her legs for Rosa. "I have to do it next week. I just hope I don't look this pathetic on video..."
"You're not pathetic, Ava. Your body has done something amazing and you're beautiful, even when you're tired."
She wished she didn't feel pathetic. She hoped it would pass, that this was just the rollercoaster following pregnancy. "I just know he's going to see it and... I just don't want to look weak."
Sebastian tilted her head gently and pressed a kiss to her lips. "You're not weak. You're the strongest woman I know."
She closed her eyes and tried to really hear his words. That she was strong. She didn't even consider that she might have the baby blues. Exhaling a shaky breath, she turned to look down at the baby in her lap who was suddenly asleep.
"I can't move now..." she whispered; grateful Rosa wasn't crying.
"Lay back, honey," he said softly. "I'll bring food to you when it's done. If you fall asleep here, that's okay too."
Nodding, Ava laid back into the couch, taking a moment to carefully place a pillow behind her back before she fully settled into place. "I love you so much, Sebastian," she told him softly.
"I love you too, Ava. So, so much."
She felt tears threatening her eyes again as she exhaled again. "Thank you for taking care of us..." This was starkly different to her earlier experience.
He kissed her temple again before kissing her lips. "I will always take care of you, my sweet girl."
A stray tear slipped from her eye and let it fall. "You're too good to me," she told him sweetly, but she jumped a bit as the oven timer went off. She laughed faintly at herself.
"It's what you deserve," he smiled. Sebastian kissed her once more before going and retrieving the food from the oven. He made a plate for Luca, then Ava and himself. "I'll run this to Luca, and I'll be back."
"Okay," she replied softly. The gentle bouncing of her legs had stopped as for now Rosa slept peacefully on her thighs. She closed her eyes as she exhaled slowly, the emotions of the day having exhausted her.
Sebastian quickly returned to the kitchen and sat beside her, both plates in his hands. He sat one on the coffee table and turned to her. "Do you want me to feed you?"
Ava laughed softly as she opened her eyes. "No, I'll sit up," she said, slowly pushing herself back up. "I can eat and hold a baby. I learned how to do that a long time ago."
"I wouldn't mind if you did," he smiled, happy to hear her laugh.
She reached out to take the plate from him and took a bite of food, grateful for Georgetta's cooking. She'd been feeding them more often than not lately. "She's so sweet when she sleeps," she said with a gentle sigh. "She just... needs to be touching someone."
"She's an angel," Seb agreed. "But maybe we can look into something? Something that makes her think we're still near?"
She nodded in reply. "We can look. And maybe she'll grow out of it. That just takes time," she said before taking another bite of food. "I don't want Luca to get affected by not sleeping either."
"Maybe see if Luca would like white noise in his room?" Seb suggested. "It would help with noise a little bit."
"That's a good idea," she replied as she finished another bite. "Thank god one of us can think right now," she said gratefully, leaning her head on his shoulder again.
Sebastian turned and kissed her cheek. "It's alright, honey. We've got this."
She smiled and waited a moment before she sat up once again. It didn't take long to finish her food and once she was done, she leaned forward to carefully leave her plate on the table. She looked down at Rosa then, gently smoothing her fingers down the girl's cheek.
"Do you think I could try to hand her to you without her waking up?" she asked, unsure if it would work but she desperately needed to shower.
As Seb finished his food with a nod and sat his dish on the coffee table before delicately lifting Rosa and lying her on his chest. The tiny girl squirmed before fisting his shirt and quickly falling back asleep.
"Good girl," Ava cooed softly, smiling at the sight of their sleeping infant. "Okay... I'm going to take a shower. I won't go to sleep right away, though. I want to say good night to Luca."
"Okay." He smiled at her as she stood. "I love you."
"Te amo, Papi," she replied, blowing him a kiss before she disappeared into the bedroom. Behind closed doors, she let down her mask even further than she had with Sebastian and tears immediately filled her eyes. The weight of the day settled on her heavily and just as she stepped into the shower, the tears fell freely.
~~~~~~
The day of the deposition quickly arrived, and Sebastian sat stiffly in the room next to where Ava sat, cradling Rosa in his arms. He looked down at his blue-eyed angel and smiled. "Momma will be done soon," he murmured.
It was... brutal. But going into today, Ava was determined to keep her head as high as she could. She carefully recounted her relationship with Javier; the dominance, the violence, her decisions to stay and leave when she did. Then she recounted the stalking, kidnapping, and violent assault that nearly took her life. That he intended to take her life. He'd told her just that. He'd left her there to die. If her four-year-old son hadn't called 911 to report her missing, no one would have found her in time.
It took nearly three hours and by that time, she was exhausted and engorged. She needed to feed her daughter. As she was allowed to exit the room, her lawyer went to see about a private room to breastfeed. First, he let her into the room next door where Sebastian was waiting with Rosa.
She was sure her eyes were bloodshot; she hadn't managed to make it through without crying entirely, but she'd never broken down. I'll do even better next time.
Sebastian soon entered the room to be with Ava and gently handed Rosa to her. "I'm proud of you," he told her.
She offered him what she could of a proud smile as she opened her blouse and unclasped her maternity bra to begin to feed a vocalizing Rosa. "Gracias," she replied, her voice tired from the hours of speaking. "The translator was helpful."
"I'm glad she could help you," Sebastian smiled.
"I'm sorry it took so long," she apologized, shaking her head. "How was she?"
"She was pretty good," Sebastian answered. "One bottle and two diaper changes."
"She didn't cry too much?" she asked gratefully. She hated being apart from them. "I thought I heard her at one point. But sometimes I think I hear her when she's not crying..."
"She got impatient with me about her bottle, but that's all," he told her. "She's been playing with her little stuffed toy that holds her paci."
A small smile crept onto her exhausted expression. "I'm glad she likes it," she said, stroking her daughter's cheek as she ate. Ava sighed softly. "I can't wait to go home..."
"It won't be long," he assured her. "We'll be going home soon. Just need to see if they need anything else from us before we go."
She nodded as she settled further back into the chair she sat in. She gently removed Rosa from one breast before switching her to the other to keep herself even. "I haven't thought about some of what I talked about in so long... I'm hoping I don't start having the nightmares again," she told him quietly.
"If you do, we'll work on it," he said softly. "I'm always here."
"I know," she replied, grateful for the support she knew she had. He was so reliable. "As soon as she's done eating, we can meet with the lawyer again and then we'll go."
Sebastian nodded. "We're on Rosa time," he smiled.
A breathy laugh passed between her lips. "We are," she agreed. She sighed softly as she tried to settle into the seat. They would be here until Rosa was finished.
It was another ten minutes before the little girl finished and Ava handed Rosa to Sebastian so she could tuck herself back together. "I said we'd open the door when we were ready," she told him before she got up to open the door.
Sebastian stood as he gently patted Rosa's back so she would burp. "Her bag is on the bench by the door," he told her.
"Okay," she replied as she went to pick it up. Just then, their attorney appeared in the doorway.
"Great job in there, Ava," he said supportively. "I know it was hard, but you made it through, and you were very clear."
She offered the man a small, tired smile. "Gracias, Mr. Torres."
"Now comes the planning phase for the trial. We'll be in touch to schedule practice for cross examination for you, so it doesn't take you by surprise," he explained.
Sebastian cradled Rosa to him and smiled. "Thank you again, Torres. It means a lot to us both."
"We can win this, Ava. I know we can. You have the proof. You just have to look him in the face and say it," Torres replied empathetically. "Now you guys get home with that adorable baby."
"Thank you again," Ava said politely before she tugged Rosa's bag over her shoulder and began down the hall.
Sebastian was right behind her, knowing the car would be waiting for them once they reached outside. "Are you ready to be home?"
"More than ready," she replied, slowing her pace as they approached the double doors. Photographers. "Someone knows we're here..." she sighed.
"The baby carrier is in the car," Seb huffed. "We can put a blanket over her until we get in the car."
Ava nodded as she stopped walking, leaning over to set Rosa's diaper bag on the ground to get out a blanket. Standing once again, she very gently rested the blanket over Rosa in Sebastian's arms. "Let's move quickly," she said, picking up the bag once again before heading for the door.
As the hotel staff opened the door for them the valet and hotel security were instantly pushing people back, trying to give Sebastian and his family enough space.
Seb ignored all of the calls and questions as he made sure Ava got into the car safely before he ducked inside as well.
Ava had never heard her name called so many times before. Usually, it was Sebastian's attention they were looking for, but today's questions were for her. She took quick steps to the car and slipped inside as gracefully as she could, watching for Sebastian. As the door to the car closed, she opened the straps on the carrier so he could set Rosa inside.
"I bet it was Javier's lawyers who tipped them off," she murmured annoyedly.
"It could have been anyone," Sebastian nodded as he gently sat Rosa in the baby carrier. "But I wouldn't doubt that he might have had something to do with it."
She closed her eyes as she sat back in the seat, slowly releasing a breath. She hated to think he could still have any influence on her life.
"Hey." Sebastian reached across the carrier and caressed Ava's cheek. "It's okay. We're okay."
Her breath was shaky as she inhaled but she nodded in spite of herself. "I know... I know..." she managed, clasping her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking.
"Do you want me to see if mom will watch Rosa for a bit? Let you get a breather?" He asked softly.
She contained a whimper that threatened to escape. "I don't want to do that..." she replied, voice tight in her throat. She hated having to admit she needed a little break. What kind of mother did that make her?
"Talk to me sweetheart," he soothed. "Tell me what you need."
"I..." she struggled to say, so she took another deep breath instead. "I... I just need to be home. I need... I need to feel safe again."
"We're going home," he assured. "It won't be long until we get there."
She nodded with another purposefully slow, deep exhale. "Gracias," she murmured anxiously, chewing nervously on her bottom lip before she turned her attention to the baby in the carrier between them. Gratefully, she was asleep.
"I'm really proud of you," he said softly.
Ava looked up from Rosa's sleeping face to take in Sebastian's, her eyes red with tears. Her lip quivered as she offered him what she could of a smile as the driver made his way to their apartment. "Thank you," she managed quietly.
"You're welcome, sweetheart."
The ride home thankfully wasn't much longer and when they arrived, Ava draped the blanket over the baby carrier out of habit. "Will you carry her in?" she asked Sebastian. Once he agreed, she got out of the car and headed for the building.
Sebastian carried baby Rosa from the car, into the large building. He met Ava at the elevator and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Almost there."
She nodded again, slipping her arm through his as they rode the elevator together. It felt like the longest ride of her life but as the doors opened on their floor, she felt like she could breathe again. Her feet carried her to the door and fumbled with her keys, her hands still shaking.
As they entered the quiet apartment, Sebastian sat the carrier on the kitchen table before peeking at Rosa, seeing she was still asleep. "Do you want me to try to lay her down?"
"No, leave her there," Ava replied, placing Rosa's bag on the table beside the carrier. "She can sleep just fine in her carrier."
"Do you want me to sit it in the extra base?" He asked. Seb had heard too many stories of things happening without it being clicked into one, so was always worried about leaving her in it.
"Yes," she agreed, smoothing her hands over her face. She didn't want to add worrying about Rosa to what she was already carrying. For now, she was asleep and safe.
Seb turned and picked up the base that sat in the corner, then sat it on the floor in the living room before moving Rosa and the carrier to the base.
"Gracias, Papi," Ava thanked quietly before she sank into the couch, her hands smoothing over her face again before she sat her shaking hands in her lap and focused on her breath. She was home. She could relax now. That was what she told herself.
"Do you need anything?" He asked her quietly. "Something to drink? Space?"
She looked up quickly, panic written across her face. "Please don't go," she practically begged, her hands shooting out of her lap to reach for him.
"Shh shh," Sebastian took both her hands in his and dropped to his knees in front of her. "I'm not going anywhere."
She dropped her head in relief at his words and nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks as she leaned forward to press her forehead against his. "You're one of the only things that makes me feel safe..." she whispered.
"I'm right here," he assured her. "You're okay."
Her head kept nodding as the tears fell and eventually a soft sob escaped her when she finally allowed herself to begin to feel the weight of what she'd just gone through. Suddenly it felt like yesterday.
Instead of pulling him onto the couch, she slipped down from it into his lap, her body begging for his arms around her.
Sebastian instantly wrapped his arms around her and rocked side to side. "It's okay, sweetheart. I've got you."
For the first time in what felt like forever, Ava allowed herself to fall to pieces. Her body shook as it was racked with emotion and turned her face into Sebastian's chest. The weight of what she'd re-lived, new motherhood, and exhaustion all swept over her like a wave.
"Let it out," he murmured. "It's all okay." Seb held her tightly, gripping her to his chest.
Ava didn't know how long it was that she cried, but eventually the sobs slowed to whimpers and then to silence as she stayed tight against Sebastian's chest. She was so worn out but her eyes blinked open, nonetheless.
"It feels like... he'll always have some hold on my life," she finally said, her voice tight in her throat.
"He won't," Sebastian stated. "We're working to keep him behind bars, make him pay for what was done. With that process you'll get the closure that you need."
"God, I hope so," she whimpered, shaking her head. "I need that... for him to stop haunting me." He felt like a ghost that could pop up behind her at any moment.
"He'll never get to you," he assured. "Ever."
She wanted to believe him, she truly did. But Javier was... everywhere. Her life has been hiding from him and his associates up until now, and now she couldn't hide. "I love you," she told him weakly.
"I love you too, sweetheart," he murmured.
She didn't move right away, staying just where she was against his chest until her eyelids felt heavy enough to close. "I should go lay down," she murmured, though she didn't want to take her head off of his chest. She could hear his heartbeat.
"Do you want me to see if Mom will watch Luca overnight tonight? We can go ahead and lie down and lie Rosa down?" He suggested.
She pondered his question a moment before reluctantly nodding. She knew Luca would worry about her, seeing her like this. Maybe she just needed one night with a little less to worry about. "Si," she agreed, sitting up a little from his chest. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, dried mascara coming off on it.
Slowly, she began to adjust so that she could stand. "I'll take Rosa and put her down, can you call your mother?"
"Of course. Take your time. I can even shower with you if you'd like that," he told her. "Just need to make sure we can hear the monitor."
She nodded as she moved to the carrier that sat in the base and she carefully lifted Rosa to her chest. The small baby squirmed and began to whine, but Ava simply shushed her as she moved to the bedroom. She would feed her again quickly while Sebastian was on the phone.
Sebastian smiled as Ava went down the hall before reaching for his phone and dialing his mom.
Georgetta sat on the couch at home, a book in her hand when she heard her phone ring. Closing the book, she picked up her phone only to smile when she saw her son's name. "Hello son," she greeted pleasantly. "How did the day go?" she asked more gently then. She knew it was a difficult one for Ava.
"Rough," Sebastian said honestly, slumping against the couch. "She's a bit out of sorts."
Georgetta sighed softly. "Of course she is, she had to recount something very difficult for her," she said empathetically. "Do you want me to get Luca from school and keep him tonight? Would that help? I can come get Rosa too..."
"I was going to ask about Luca," he admitted. "But Ava doesn't want to part with Rosa."
"Okay, well I can absolutely get Luca and keep him tonight," she told him surely. "He's going to ask about Ava... what should I tell him?"
Sebastian stalled. "Uh... you can say that she's tired but doing okay, that we wanted him to be able to have some fun."
Georgetta nodded. "Okay, I'll tell him that. And, Sebastian... is she doing okay?" she asked gently, wanting to truly know. "I can keep him for a few days..."
"She's... doing what she can. Postpartum isn't exactly the greatest either," he said quietly. "But we're trying."
"She's seemed low since Rosa came home... is she seeing anyone? Maybe a therapist or something could help," she suggested, though not insistently. She knew it wasn't her place. She just wanted Ava to feel better.
Sebastian felt himself frown. "I don't know if she would consider it."
"Well... just think about it. She might be more open when she's not so vulnerable," she counseled gently. "Take care of her, Sebastian. I know that you will."
"Of course," he replied. "I'd do anything for her."
"Take care of yourself too, okay?" she reminded maternally. "You're no good to her if you're no good, got it?"
"I will, Ma. I promise."
"I love you. I'll get Luca, don't worry about him tonight," she said before hanging up the call.
Sebastian smiled as he sat his cellphone down and let out a long breath. Then he stood and walked down the hall. "Honey?"
The door to the bedroom was open as Ava stood inside, gently patting Rosa's in an effort to get her to burp before laying her down. She was certainly sleepy, and Ava wanted to take advantage. "I'm here," she called gently in reply before she slowly and carefully laid Rosa in her bassinet.
He smiled at her as he leaned against the doorway. "My beautiful girls," he murmured.
Ava stood from leaning, after she laid Rosa down and held her breath as the little girl nestled into place. She breathed out as she appeared to fall back asleep and Ava finally turned to look at Sebastian, smiling faintly. "You always think we're beautiful... even if I need to shower."
"I always will," he assured her. "Do you want me to shower with you? Or let you have some time to yourself?"
She considered her options, smoothing her hands over her blouse before she untucked it from her skirt. "With me, please," she decided, her eyes still reddened and puffy as she began to undress.
"Okay. Let's put the monitor on loud so we'll be able to hear her," he replied as he easily removed his shirt.
She nodded in agreement as she pulled off her blouse, walking to the closet to drop it in the hamper before she unzipped her skirt and stepped out of it along with her shoes. "Can you get the monitor? I think it's on your side of the bed," she asked as she finished undressing completely before stepping out of the closet.
Sebastian nodded and walked around the bed to retrieve it. "Is the other part plugged in?"
"It is," she assured, pointing to her bedside table where the other piece was located. She went for the bathroom then and turned on the shower before she stood at the mirror and took off her jewelry.
After stripping down to his boxers and turning on the other part of the monitor, Seb entered the bathroom. "How're you feeling?"
She looked at his reflection in the mirror, finding it difficult to hide her true feelings from him. "I don't know," she answered honestly, shrugging as she turned to face him. "I'm so many things... tired, scared, anxious, sad..." Her eyes reddened once again as she spoke.
"Hey," he soothed, moving to gently caress both of her cheeks. "A lot is going on. But we've got this. We'll do it all together."
She looked up to meet his eyes as he touched her face and let out a shaky exhale. She rested her hands on top of his as tears once again slipped down her cheeks. "What if I can't do it?" she asked quietly. "Sebastian, I feel... so small..."
"You are the strongest woman I know," he murmured. "You're a survivor." Sebastian gently wiped away her tears as he tilted her head back and kissed her softly.
Survivor. The word echoed in her mind as he kissed her and sort of collapsed into his body. "I don't feel much like a survivor these days," she told him honestly through tears.
He kissed her forehead. "Have you thought of talking to someone?"
She shook her head, closing her eyes. "Is something wrong with me?" she asked him quietly.
"No baby," he told her. "Of course not. But someone might be able to organize your thoughts and feelings better than I can."
She considered it for a long few moments before she nodded faintly. "I'll think about it," she shared just barely above a whisper. "I have to keep surviving... but sometimes it feels like I'm drowning."
"I know," he murmured. "I feel that way sometimes. You're not alone."
That was why she wanted him close right now. To remind her that she wasn't alone. "Thank you for staying with me," she said as she looked up at him once again. "Can you turn on the water?"
Seb kissed her forehead. "Of course." He turned and stepped to the shower, opened the glass door and turned on the water. After he'd gotten the temperature just right, he turned the shower on.
She stayed close as he turned and she waited for him to step in before she followed with her smaller frame, closing the shower door behind them. As she stepped beneath the water, she released a deep breath as she closed her eyes.
Turning to face Ava, Sebastian smiled as he let her relax under the hot spray. "Take your time, honey."
She took slow, deep breaths and reached out for him, her hands resting on his chest as the water cascaded over her. Eventually, she blinked her eyes open to look up at him before stepping into him to nuzzle his neck.
"There you are," he smiled, turning to kiss the side of her face. "My beautiful Ava."
"I'm not so beautiful these days," she said against his skin. She was thinner than usual; she wasn't eating what she should. She felt like she always looked exhausted.
Sebastian bent to kiss her bare shoulder, his hands gliding up and down her back. "You're always going to be beautiful to me."
She kissed his wet skin tenderly. "I wish I could see myself through your eyes," she told him. He had so much hope and sometimes she needed that.
"Just like you see me," he murmured in reply. Sebastian ran one hand through her soaked hair, tilting her head back to kiss down her throat.
Ava melted into him, her body weak against the pull of his. She felt perfect in his arms, not broken like she felt so much of the time. "I see you, Sebastian..." she told him. She knew he was worried. She desperately wanted to take that from him, so she knew... she had to do something different.
He breathed her in, keeping her flush against him. "Let go, baby girl..."
"I'm afraid if I let go... I may never stop," she admitted to him quietly.
"Stop what, baby?" He asked quietly.
"Crying," she answered simply. "The tears feel... heavy. And big. And they're always just beneath the surface."
"Holding it in will only make you feel worse," he said quietly. Sebastian kept one arm around her as he reached for a puff and soap. He leathered it up quickly before beginning to wash her.
She exhaled softly with a small nod. "But I can't cry all the time," she told him. "I just need... to be out of my head. I don't know..."
"Hmm..." Sebastian ran the puff gently between her breasts. "How did your last doctor visit go?"
"It went fine," she shared, reaching behind him to quickly get shampoo to wash her hair. "Everything is all healed from the birth."
"That's good," he said sweetly. Sebastian took his time lathering her body with soap.
She leaned back to rinse out her hair, some of the soap rinsing away with it. "Physically, I feel good, so I should take that as positive."
"Take every positive that you can," he replied softly.
She smiled sadly as she turned to look up at him. "You... you are my positive," she told him as she reached up to take his face gently in her hands. "You always are..."
"I always will be," he assured.
"Gracias, Papi," she thanked sincerely before she stood up on her toes to find his lips in a kiss.
Sebastian kissed her back gently, wrapping both arms around her, not caring about the suds.
As the kiss ended, she stayed where she was on her toes and rested her forehead against his. "I just want to get lost in you... just got a little while," she murmured.
He gave her a gentle smile. "Are you sure?"
She exhaled heavily as she nodded. "I need... I need to feel something good," she shared, green eyes holding onto his blue.
"I can do that," he murmured. "Just lead the way. I know you can be sensitive still."
Ava nodded before she caught his lips again, kissing him more passionately this time. Her hands smoothed up his chest before she wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders.
Sebastian melted into her, one hand moving down to rest on her ass, pushing her firmly against his body.
She pulled one arm from around him to find his other hand and place it on the outside of her breast. "They're very sensitive," she told him between heated kisses.
He grinned against her mouth as he slowly trailed his fingertips along the swell of one breast then the other. "How's that?"
She nodded in response. "Good," she assured him. Rosa just ate, so gratefully she wasn't feeling engorged and swollen. She kissed him again to urge him on, wanting to feel something good in her body again and she knew she would in his hands.
Sebastian turned and put her in the spray of water, her back against his chest as he slowly ran both hands over her body. "Focus on me," he said softly.
She angled her head back against his shoulder, a soft, sensuous sound escaping her throat as she did just as he instructed. She focused on his hands, his voice, all of him.
He grinned before kissing her bare shoulder while his hands slowly traveled down her stomach and to her upper thighs.
She closed her eyes, reaching one arm up to drape over his shoulder. She rested her hand on the back of his neck, fingers snaking up into his hair.
Sebastian hummed as his hands found the treasure he was seeking. "Are you wet for me?" He asked softly.
A shiver shuddered up her spine as she felt his touch. "Si, Papi," she replied breathlessly, her legs spreading unconsciously.
"Mmm... always so willing and ready for me," he praised. Sebastian dipped his fingers between her folds, listening to her whimper.
It has been a while since they'd last been intimate, so his touch was even more electrifying than usual. She bit her lip as a whimper passed her lips. "Your fingers feel so good..."
"Have you missed me?" Sebastian purred. "Because I've missed you."
"Mmm... so much," she replied with a soft moan.
"Such a beautiful sound, moaning for me," he smiled before taking her earlobe between his teeth. He wanted to rile her up as much as possible.
She groaned in desperation as he took her ear into his mouth, his hot breath making goosebumps rise on her warm, wet flesh. "Oh, Papi..."
"Such a good girl," he praised. Sebastian slowly rubbed his erection against her ass, wanting her to feel it.
Ava's hips pressed back into him, though she was fighting the urge to grind against his fingers. He just felt so good all over.
"Do you want to go to the bedroom? Or stay here?" He asked softly.
As tempting as it was to stay right there, she wasn't sure she was physically ready for shower sex just yet. "Bedroom," she answered, lowering her hands from his neck to reach forward and turn off the spray.
"Let's towel off, check on Rosa, and then have a bit of fun," he grinned.
She smiled genuinely as she nodded, opening the door to get out of the shower and towel off. She handed Sebastian his towel before drying off herself and wrapping the towel around herself to go check on the baby.
Sebastian grinned as she left the bathroom before he turned and ran the towel through his hair a few times. Then he toweled himself off.
Ava wasn't gone long. She quickly checked on Rosa, desperate not to disturb her. When she was sure all was fine, she returned to the bedroom and closed the door. They had the monitor.
"Sleeping soundly, I'm happy to report," she said as she undid her towel.
He eyed her slowly from head to toe, with a lustful smile. "That's good. I'm glad she's getting better at sleeping."
She laughed softly in reply. "Me too," she agreed wholeheartedly as she approached him, swaying her shapely hips as she walked. She stopped in front of him and reached out to smooth her hands up his chest. "Let's us have some time together..."
Sebastian breathed deeply, enjoying her warm hands on his skin. "Of course."
She smiled as she stood up on her toes to find his lips, kissing him slowly at first before angling her head to deepen in. "You said you missed me," she whispered against his lips. "What have you missed, mi amor?"
"Hmm... this," he murmured, grabbing her ass with both hands. "This is one."
Her smile grew as he touched her skin. "It's missed you too," she replied. "What else, Papi?"
Sebastian chuckled. "Oh, I think I've missed a few other things," he teased.
"Mmm... show me," she said, her accent thicker now that she was aroused.
He flipped her around to rest her back against his chest. Then dipped both hands between her thighs. "Here..."
She inhaled sharply in anticipation of his touch and arched her back, making him smile.
"Did you miss me here?" He whispered, his lips against the shell of her ear.
Ava whimpered softly as she nodded. "Si... so much," she replied, feeling like putty in his hands.
Sebastian smiled as he cupped her cunt fully in his hand and pushed her into him, pressing against his cock. "So beautiful."
"Oh," she breathed, pressing herself back into him. "I've missed feeling that, too..."
He kissed her temple as he gently squeezed her, keeping his large hand fully wrapped around her. "You're seeping through my fingers..."
She swallowed hard before she exhaled a shuddering breath. "Your hands on my body turn me on," she replied.
"Mmm... that's a good thing I think." Seb kissed along her neck to her bare shoulder. Then he slowly began to circle her clit with a single finger.
"Ooh, Papi," she whimpered, her ass pressing back into him as she allowed the pleasure to wash over her.
"That's it," he murmured. "Focus on that pleasure."
She moaned as she did as he instructed, focusing simply on the waves of pleasure coursing through her. She reached back and wrapped her arm around Sebastian's shoulder to keep herself up.
Sebastian placed open mouthed kisses along her neck as he slowly dipped one finger into her wetness. "Feel okay?"
"Mmm, si, perfecto," Ava replied listlessly, slipping into simple Spanish for a moment as she relaxed back into Sebastian's strong frame.
"Tell me when you want more," he murmured as he slowly thrusted his finger.
A shiver worked its way up her spine as her clit brushed against his palm while his finger moved inside of her. She moaned a little helplessly. "More," she asked.
Sebastian hummed as he added a second finger. "I can't wait to feel your wet heat wrapped around my cock again," he breathed.
"Ooh," she whimpered as her body grew accustomed to his second finger. "You're going to stretch me so good..."
"Yes, I am," he agreed. Seb bent down to bite gently on her shoulder.
She gasped at the sensation as goosebumps covered her skin. "How do you want to feel me?" she asked in a thick accent. "From behind? Above?"
"Anywhere," he told her. "Ladies choice tonight."
"Mmm..." she considered, her hips grinding against his hand. "From behind... I want to watch in the mirror."
"I can do that," he agreed. "Although you have one other choice to make."
"What's that?" she asked, pressing her ass back against his cock again and moving her hips.
Sebastian growled. "Where do you want my cock, pretty thing?"
"I want you in my pussy," she nearly pleaded, reaching behind her and between them to take his cock in her hand.
"Fuck," Sebastian groaned. "Get on the bed, sweetheart."
She grinned as she felt him withdraw his fingers and slinked forward, crawling seductively onto the bed. She turned herself so she was facing the mirror and tossed her hair back to find Sebastian.
"Look at you... my sexy little wife," he grinned. Sebastian slowly stroked himself as he watched her.
She bit her lip and spread her legs, arching her back to present herself to him. "I've missed you; I need you, Papi."
"I've missed you too," he told her. Sebastian walked to the edge of the bed and bent over to kiss the side of her ass.
She swept her hair over one shoulder as she looked back to find him in the mirror. "Just be gentle to start, Papi," she asked of him.
He nodded before turning onto his back and leaning up to capture her cunt with his mouth, smiling at her instant sound of shock.
"Seb!" she gasped as her lips fell open and she spread her legs even further to allow him greater access.
He chuckled as he held her hips, enjoying that he'd surprised her. Seb devoured her like a man starved.
"Oh god," Ava moaned, her head dropping forward as she rode his face. "Si, si Papi, yes..."
Sebastian's hands gripped at her ass cheeks, massaging them as he licked and sucked at her pussy, feeling her tremble above him.
She had nearly forgotten just how good his mouth felt. Her legs felt shaky as she hovered above him. "You're making me weak..."
Slowing down, Sebastian gave her a single long kick with the flat of his tongue before letting her rest a moment. "You taste so good."
Heaving breaths, Ava looked beneath her to find his face. "Gracias, I'm glad I still do," she said with a sultry smile.
He turned his head and kissed her inner thigh, his hands roaming her ass and legs. "Are you ready for me, sweetheart?"
"Uh huh," she affirmed as she worked to catch her breath. Dewy sweat broke out on her forehead, catching small wisps of hair as she tossed her hair back.
Sebastian slid out from beneath her before kissing her outer thigh. When he stood, he gently guided Ava to the edge of the bed, massaging her hips. "I'll go easy."
She followed his directions and moved to the edge of the bed, turning her head forward to watch him move behind her in the mirror. "I trust you," she told him surely.
He smiled at her, meeting her eyes as he lined himself up and slowly sunk partially inside of her.
"Ooh," she breathed, full lips dropping open as she began to adjust to him. She spread her legs a bit, welcoming him even a little further.
"Feel okay?" He asked her, running his hands up and down her back.
She nodded. "Si, yes," she replied, moaning in pleasure. "More, Papi..."
"Okay baby." Slowly, Sebastian sank further until he was flush against her body, deep inside of her. "Ugh... you're fluttering around me."
A moan came from deep inside of her as he fit her like a glove. "You feel perfecto, Papi..."
Sebastian slowly ran his hands along her sides and her back. "So do you."
"Mmm..." she groaned as she pressed her hips back into him. She'd adjusted to him easily and god, had she missed this feeling.
"You feel so good, Ava." Seb slowly began to thrust his hips, letting her bounce back against him.
She bounced gently at first, simply following the directions her body gave her. She began to find a rhythm with him and whipped her head up to find his face in the mirror, eyes drunk with desire.
"I'll follow you," he told her. "Just tell me what you want, sweetheart."
"More," she replied in a moan. "I want to see it on your face, how much you want me..."
Sebastian eyed Ava in the mirror and gave her a wry half smile, his eyes darkening. He gripped her hips harder before increasing his pace, the sound of slapping skin filling the room.
"Oh shit," she moaned, her body moving in time with his. He felt so good as he pulsed in and out of her, sending a shiver through her body.
"Ride it, doll," he growled, giving her a bit of Bucky, knowing it would send her further into bliss.
A pleased smile came across her face as she opened her eyes to him in the mirror. She licked her lips as she backed herself hard into him, her moans growing closer and closer together.
He only grinned wider. "That's it," he moaned. "Ride hard baby."
"Fuck!" she cried as she pounded back into him. She felt her insides beginning to tighten as she breathed raggedly. "I'm close..."
"Chase it," he breathed. "Chase that high," he encouraged. Seb wanted to let her fully let her body take control.
"I want it... it want it, Papi," she panted as her eyes fell closed. She allowed her head to drop and focus on the tightening in her body. "Ooh...ooh!" she moaned loudly before she began to whimper, her orgasm rolling through her. Sebastian grunted as he held back his own release. He wanted to help her ride her orgasm but didn't grab a condom. Ava cried out for Sebastian as she was overcome with bliss. Her fingers curled into the comforter and tossed her head back so he could take in the expression on her face.
"You're so beautiful," he told her as he slowly pulled out to prevent himself from coming.
She bit her lip as she lowered her hips once he was out of her she sat up, running her hands through her messy hair. "Can I make you come with my mouth?" she asked him, a smile in her eyes.
Sebastian licked his lips as he breathed deeply, his chest heaving. "Of course."
Turning toward him, she crawled the short distance until she was in front of his erect cock. With her tongue, she licked the underside of him until she reached the tip before fully engulfing him.
"Holy shit," Sebastian groaned as his head fell back in pleasure.
Ava could taste herself on his cock and swirled her tongue around his tip as she sucked eagerly, one of her hands moving to the base of his shaft.
"Jesus, Ava... starved for me?" He asked, already panting once more.
"Mm hmm," she moaned against his cock as she pulsed it in and out of her mouth, ready to milk him dry.
Sebastian wound one hand into her hair as he stared down at her. He bit his bottom lip, grunting in pleasure as he watched her swirl her tongue around it. "So good."
She turned her eyes up to his to take in his expression as she felt his hand in her hair. She moaned against him again, vibrating him as she did.
"Oh, Ava... I'm close sweetheart," he moaned.
She lowered herself a little, putting herself at a lower angle to him as she awaited his hot load. She opened her throat as she applied more suction.
With a low moan, Sebastian felt lightning crackle up his spine. "I'm coming baby," he breathed.
She prepared herself for his release and as he did, she took every drop of it down her throat. Swallowing again and again, she sucked him until she knew for sure he was finished before she pulled him from her mouth and wiped her lips. "You're delicious," she told him sensually.
Sebastian smiled a breathtaking smile, his eyes locked on hers as he shook his head. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
Smiling up at him, she rose up onto her knees to wrap her arms around his shoulders. "I ask myself the same question all the time."
He nuzzled into her neck, peppering kisses across her skin. "I love you, so fucking much."
She giggled softly, running her fingers through his growing hair. "I love you too, Papi. Mucho."
"You know, I'll never hear that word without thinking of you, now?" He smiled.
"Good. I want you thinking about me always," she replied, leaning in to press a kiss against his lips.
He slowly kissed her in return then kissed her nose. "Every day."
She leaned her body against his and closed her eyes, resting her head against his chest. "Remember me this close even when you're far away."
Sebastian kissed her head. "That won't be until after the trial," he told her. "Even then, you'll always be with me in some way."
"I know," she replied, placing soft kisses to his chest. "We adore you, Papi."
"I adore you too," he murmured just as he heard the sound of a cry from the monitor. "Relax, I'll feed her," he assured.
Ava's eyes closed at the sound of Rosa's cry and nodded. "Gracias, Papi," she thanked as she released his shoulders.
Sebastian kissed her softly before he stood and pulled on his boxers. "She might just need a diaper change too. But I'll see. Just relax honey."
She relaxed back onto the bed as Sebastian readied himself. "I'll do my best," she replied with a soft smile as she laid her head back on the pillow.
"Find a movie on tv," he encouraged. "Do you want anything?"
"Can you just bring me a glass of water?" she asked, reaching for the remote on his bedside table before she turned on the television.
"Of course." Sebastian left the room and quickly walked into the nursery. He changed Rosa's diaper before carrying her into the kitchen.
"Let's get your momma some water while we warm your bottle," he cooed, cuddling his daughter close.
In the bedroom, Ava dressed in a camisole as she scrolled the television channels before climbing into the bed beneath the covers. She settled on Legally Blonde as she eased back against her pillows.
It wasn't long until Sebastian strolled into the bedroom cradling Rosa with a bottle tucked under his chin as she suckled it while bringing Ava a glass of water. "Here honey."
She smiled at the sight of father and daughter as she took the glass. "Hola, Rosita," she murmured fondly. "Hopefully she'll go back to sleep after she eats..."
"Her eyes are already heavy," he said softly. "I don't think it'll be too hard to get her to go back out. That white noise thing and the warm thing in her crib work wonders."
"They do," she agreed quietly. She was so grateful that Rosa's sleeping had improved. They'd found what works... for now. "Thank you for taking turns with me... and for now making me feel weak."
Sebastian chuckled softly as Rosa suckled her bottle. "Anytime, beautiful."
Ava hated to admit her vulnerabilities, but it felt safe with Sebastian. What a stark contrast to what she'd experienced during Luca's newborn phase. She would never not be grateful. "She's a hungry girl. Growing."
He looked down at Rosa as she continued to eat. "Yes, she is. Close to being done too."
"She and Mami both have heavy eyes," she observed with a small laugh. "Hopefully we can both sleep peacefully for a few hours."
"You will," Sebastian replied. As Rosa finished her bottle, Seb lifted her to get her to burp.
"I know I will," she said, resting her head back against her pillow as she watched Sebastian. "You're such a good father, Papi. Our children are so lucky."
Sebastian blushed softly. "Thank you, Ava. I try my best."
"It's beautiful to watch," she shared quietly. "You give me so much hope, Sebastian. That no matter how hard things feel, we'll get through them."
"You give me just as much," he assured. "I promise you that."
Ava yawned as delicately as she could. "I feel so much more relaxed now."
He chuckled. "That just tells me that I did my job well."
"Yes, you did," she chuckled. "Very well."