The landlord said it was going to take a few weeks for the apartment to get repaired. Thankfully, since Kakashi still kept his dad's place, we've been able to stay their for the past couple of weeks. And as much as I appreciated the extra space and the fact that we had a place that we could stay in, I knew this was bothering Kakashi on a subconscious level. This was a place that held very strong, unpleasant memories for him. He still had a hard time walking into the living room. He would purposely go through the dining room and through the kitchen to get to the door and vis versa to get through the home. He was willing to sleep in the master but I didn't want to push him. So while Naruto took his old room, him and I took the guest room that was just across it.
His nightmares started coming back as well. At first, he they were pretty mild - he would talk in his sleep and tossed and turned a few times. But lately, they've been getting progressively worse. He'd wake up in a sweat panting, his attention focused on the very hand that ultimately ended up killing Rin. And every night, I would wake up and find him aggressively scrubbing his hands as he tried to get the blood off. It was hard seeing him relive these horrible memories that haunted us.
I've told him many times that he didn't have to stay in the house with us, and he should spend the nights in the ANBU barracks. At least until the apartment was fixed. But even with these haunting memories, he still insists on being with us. He kept saying that he couldn't protect us or keep us safe if he's not with us.
He's sweet. Really, he is. But it breaks my heart to see him constantly struggling with the past.
And tonight was no different. I was woken again to the soft grunts and whimpers of him having another nightmare. His hands were balled into a fist at his sides, gripping the sheets beneath him. His eye brows twitched, and his face grimaced as his mind replayed the horrible images in his mind.
"Kashi." I said softly as I sat up and shook his shoulder. "Kashi, it's just a bad dream, honey. You gotta get up." A frown formed on my lips as I continued to watch him struggle with his nightmare. It was hard to see him like this - to see him struggling and so broken.
"Kashi." I said louder as I shook both of his shoulders.
His eyes flew open in a panic. In a flash, he had me pinned against the bed, his hands gripping firmly around my wrist. His eyes were looking straight through me, his breathing was labored, and sweat beaded his brow. His grip tightened on my wrists, and I grit my teeth when I felt my right one snap under the pressure.
"Ka-kashi." I winced as I tried to keep a composed face. If he found out that he hurt me during one of his episodes, he would never forgive himself.
He blinked a few times, and his slowly started to focus on my face. He quickly released his hold on me but stayed hovering over me as he tried to slow his breathing.
"Are you okay, love?" I asked softly as I slowly reached up and brushed his hair away from his eyes.
He nodded and let out a long exhale. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't . . . I didn't even realize I was awake." He said as he rolled over and pressed his palms against his eyes.
I kissed his masked cheek and gave him a soft smile. "It's alright. Do you want me to make you some tea? Maybe that'll help you go back to sleep?"
He moved his hands from his face and turned my direction, giving me a look over. Taking another deep breath, he nodded his head with a small exhale. I gave him a soft smile and kissed his cheek again before I got out of bed. Moving to his side of the bed, I took his hand, giving it a gentle tug, silently encouraging him to come with me.
"This one was worse than last nights, Kashi. Are you sure you're okay?" I asked as I led him into the dining room, completely avoiding the living room. Pulling out one of the bar stools from the kitchen island with my foot, I gently pressed against his shoulders, encouraging him to sit.
He nodded as he rested his elbows on the counter and put his face back into his hands. "Yeah. Emi, I'm sorry if I scared you."
I turned over my shoulder and gave him a closed eyed smile. "It's okay, Kashi. Really. I know it was just a nightmare. You didn't scare me." I assured.
Turning back around, I reached up on my tip toes to grab the kettle from the cabinet. I winced as I instinctively reached up with my right hand and quickly pulled it to my chest. Before I could reach again with my uninjured, Kakashi had grabbed the kettle and placed it on the counter. I looked up to with him an appreciative smile, but his attention was on my right hand. Both of my wrists had already started to bruise a dark purple, but my right was significantly worse in color and had already started swelling.
I quickly pulled the hand behind my back and turned around with the kettle, placing it in the sink.
"Emi. . . Did I . . . Did I hurt you?" He asked nervously.
I turned over my shoulder and shook my head. "No, silly. My hand is just asleep, is all." I assured with a soft smile. As I turned back toward the sink, I closed my eyes with a small sigh, knowing full well that he would easily pick up on my lie.
Once the kettle was full, I brought it back over to the stove and turned the flame on a medium heat.
"If your hand is asleep, why is it -" He started to say as he reached out toward my hand, but was interrupted by a soft nasally voice.
"Mi Mi."
When I turned around, Naruto was rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. His whisker like cheeks were flushed, and the tip of his nose was a bright red.
"Hey, buddy. Are you okay?" I asked, walking over to him and placing the back of my hand on his forehead.
"Not really." He mumbled with a sniffle.
"You're burning up." I sighed. "Come on, I'll draw you a cold bath and get you some medicine." He groaned as I ushered him over toward the bathroom.
"I hate that stuff. It's so sticky and tastes like. . . medicine." He whined.
I giggled as I sat on the edge of the bath and started running the bath. "Well, that would be because it is medicine. It's either the medicine or you feeling like this for a few days." Naruto grimaced but nodded his head. "Come on, you get undressed and get in the bath. I'll go get your medicine from the cabinet."
"Thanks, Mi Mi." He sniffled with a soft smile.
As I headed back into the kitchen, the kettle sounded, indicating that the water was ready and again I reached with my injured hand. I quickly pulled my hand back with a wince and groaned softly in frustration. This is becoming a problem. My wrist was injured, trying to help Kakashi cope with his nightmare, and now Naruto is sick. It was becoming more difficult to keep my injury from him.
"Emi." Kakashi said coming up in front of me and gently taking my injured hand into his. Carefully turning it side to side as examine it, his eyes slowly widened in horror. "It's broken." He said softly, keeping his gaze on the blackish purple bruise that has started to spread down into my hand.
I sighed and nodded my head. I brought my unoccupied hand up and caressed his masked cheek. "It's fine, love. You weren't awake. You were still trapped in your nightmare."
"Emi, I broke your wrist." He snapped in frustration but kept his voice low enough so Naruto couldn't hear. He was angry at himself. Angry that the horrible dreams that he kept having caused him to hurt me. I didn't blame him for breaking my wrist. It was an accident. I know this man would never purposefully hurt me. But I knew he always had that little doubt in his mind that something would happen to me because of him.
I know because I feel the same way.
"Kashi." I said gently. "You weren't awake. You were scared of what your mind was showing you. It was an accident."
He shook his head, and he grabbed my hand from his face and moved it away. My eyes widened slightly, but before I could say anything, Naruto had called out from the bathroom that the tub was full.
"Please don't leave." I begged as I turned back to him, knowing full well that that was the current thought in his head. That leaving would be the best thing for me. That it would keep me safe.
"Emi, I hurt you. What if something else had happened? My nightmares are only getting worse, and me hurting you only proves that."
"Mi Mi! The water!" Naruto shouted from the bathroom.
I turned between the bathroom and Kakashi tears running down my face. "Please, just. . . can we talk about this after I get him back to bed?" I pleaded. I quickly grabbed the medicine from the cabinet and rushed back to the bathroom to turn the tub off.
A small whimper escaped me when I sensed Kakashi's chakra suddenly leave the house. The back of my eyes stung as tears threatened to escape, and a lump formed in my throat. But I couldn't let myself break down now. Not in front of Naruto.
"You okay, Mi Mi? What happened to your arms? Why are they all purple?" He asked with wide eyes and an obvious worried face.
I sniffled and wiped the tears from my face before turning to him with a forced smile. "Yeah, sweety. I'm fine." I insisted as I turned to the bathroom counter to pour his medicine. I had to hold the bottle between my bicep and my forearm as I tried to open the child safety cap. After pouring the red liquid to the correct line, I passed it over to Naruto, who was now sitting in the cool bath.
"If you're hurt, Mi Mi, you should go to a doctor. Kashi can -"
"Kashi had a mission come up, sweety. Besides, like I said, I'm fine." I said sweety as I ruffled his hair with my uninjured hand.
He narrowed his eyes and looked between my right wrist and my face. "You sure?"
I nodded with a forced smile. He didn't seem convinced, but he took my answer and brought the medicine cup up and drank the cherry flavored liquid, grimacing at the taste.
~*~
The landlord informed me about a week later that the apartment was going to take longer than anticipated to get fixed. New plumbing and electrical were going to be needed, and the soonest they said the unit would be ready again in another three months. He did offer to let us move into another unit that was in a different complex closer to the academy, it was move in ready and larger than the one we currently had plus he offered to keep it at the same rate.
I saw it as a win-win. Naruto would be closer to the academy when he starts in the fall, and we would get out of Kakashi's dad place.
Maybe he'll come back. God, I hope he comes back. I haven't heard from him since the accident. Granted, he also hasn't been in the village.
Afraid of what people would say when they saw my broken wrist, I decided against going to the doctor. The last thing I needed was for this to come back to Kakashi and reflect negatively on him. He's not abusive. He's exactly the opposite. But I know rumors will start to spread even if I was to lie and say I clumsily slipped going up the porch steps. So, with the little first aide I knew, I wrapped my wrist and stuck with wearing long sleeves to hide the bandages.
Naruto was still insistent that I at least went and got it looked at. But after assuring him for the nth time, he finally dropped it. Instead, he settled with silently following behind me in the shops and around the house in case he needed to lend a heling hand, compensating for my broken one.
But it was times like this, when Naruto was at school and I was left alone to pack up everything in the house, that I broke down. I was constantly in pain. The bandages constricted against my swollen hand, causing every pulse to flare up my pain receptors. I've broken three picture frames, of course the ones that held photos of Kakashi and I, because I stupidly forget I can't use my dominate hand. I wasn't superstitious by any means, but after him just leaving like that the other night and not hearing from him in days, these broken frames were starting to feel like a bad omen.
I crouched down to pick up the bigger shards of glass with a sniffle. It wasn't just the picture frames. This just seemed to be the crack that finally broke the damn that has been threatening to break. I missed Kakashi. I missed my friend, my person.
Carefully, I brought the broken shards of glass to the bin and rinsed my hand to wash away any small pieces of glass that I couldn't see. I sighed and rested my back against the wall, and slowly slid down as I broke out into a sob. Again, I had everything I could have ever wanted in my life just for it to suddenly be ripped away from me. It broke me. I was broken, and my little family was breaking with me.
~*~
I was able to get the last of the boxes packed and ready for tomorrows move. Since Kakashi was still out of the village, I was able to ask Asuma and Guy if they could help me move the heavier stuff while I kept Naruto out of the house and out of their way.
Naruto was fast a sleep now. Though it took him several hours to finally get to this point. He was insistent on helping me pack so I wouldn't hurt my hand anymore than it already was. Even when I insisted several times that I was fine, he still didn't believe me.
I really need to work on lying. If a five year old can pick up that I'm lying, then holidays are going to be a pain.
I turned toward the door at the sound of light scratching against the wood. Wrapping my cardigan tightly around my chest, I opened the door, and a crisp November breeze sent a shiver throughout my body. Looking down, I was greeted with three familiar ninken, and my heart instantly sank.
"No." I whispered in disbelief, my eyes wide in horror.
"Kakashi is okay, Emi. He just asked us to come check on you since he's been away for so long." Pakkun explained quickly, easing my concerns.
I took a shaky breath and stepped to the side so he, Biskue, and Bull could enter the house. "I appreciate the concern, guys, but I'm fine, really. Whenever you guys go back, can you just tell him that I need to talk to him?"
Biskue raised his nose up, sniffing the air around him. "Are you going to tell him about the new pup?" He asked excitedly, wagging his tail.
I blinked once. Twice. Three times as I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. "W-What?" I choked out.
"You didn't know you were pregnant, Ms. Emi?" He asked, furrowing his brow.
I chuckled dryly, and slowly, it turned into a sob that brought me down to the floor.
"You know, Emi, I remember you being much happier that last time you found out you were pregnant. If you're worried about Kakashi, I'm sure he'll - " Pakkun started, but I interrupted by shaking my head.
"He left." I choked out through my tears. "We had a-a disagreement, and he just left. . . I - I haven't seen him or heard from him in days." I brought my face to hands and growled in frustrated forgetting, yet again, of my injury.
"Ms. Emi, you're hurt." Bisuke said softly in surprise.
"We can take you to the hospital if you want. Bull can stay here with the kid." Pakkun offered. "I don't think Kakashi would be happy to come back and see that you're hurt, Emi. You know how protective he gets of you when you're pregnant." The small pug put a comforting paw on my thigh and watched my face carefully.
Pakkun took his job seriously when it came to being Kakashi's right hand. So whenever his boss wasn't around, the pug always took it upon himself to look after me and Naruto when he was given the opportunity.
I shook my head with a sniffle and pulled my right hand close to my chest, and cradled it with my left. "I'm fine, Pakkun. I'm just overwhelmed. Kashi is gone, Naruto being sick, moving, and now finding out I'm pregnant." I turned back toward the sandy furred beagle with a small frown. "Are you sure?"
He nodded in response with a small frown, and his brow furrowed. "Why did boss leave, Ms. Emi? That doesn't sound like him."
"I know it's none of our business, but Bisuke is right. Kakashi wouldn't just leave like that." Pakkun added. His gaze lowered to my wrist and then back up to me when I pulled my cardigan sleeve over the bandages. He nodded his head, getting a rough idea of what had happened. "His nightmares started coming back." He concluded. I only nodded in response.
I wiped the tears from my face with my sleeved covered hand and sniffled. "Can you just ask him to please come back home. . . please." I said softly.
Pakkun looked over to the hound next to him and the bull dog behind him before turning back to me. "You know what will make you feel better, Emi?" He started. He held up one of his paws with a toothy smile, exposing his light pink toe pads. "You know you want to. They're super soft." He coerced.
I blew a short breath out my nose in amusement, a soft smile tugging at the corner of my lips. I took his paw in between my index finger and my thumb, and my eyes widened slightly.
"Wow, Pakkun, you weren't kidding. They really are soft." I giggled with a small sniffle.
~*~
Neither of the Ninken returned back to Kakashi. For two weeks, the three of them stayed close to my heels, refusing to leave my side. It was cute, honestly, seeing these aggressive and lethal killers following me around like lost little puppies. I know they were only doing it because they were worried about me. They did the same thing when I was pregnant the first time, even if it was short-lived.
Naruto was enjoying it, too. He liked that Bull would give him piggy backs when I would take him to school and when we pick him up. And it seemed to distract him from asking about my injury constantly.
The new apartment was much nicer than the last one. The kitchen was significantly bigger and could easily hold more than one person in it without having to worry about bumping into someone or thing. There were three bedrooms, all three larger in comparison to the last place. For now, the extra room will be used as an office space and a library. A space where Kakashi could have a place for his work and where he could sit in silence to read.
If he ever comes back, that is.
For the most part, everything was unpacked aside from the heavier boxes. I even unpacked Kakashi's stuff, remaining hopeful that he will come back. I don't want him to think that because of what happened that I didn't want him to come home.
I just want my little family back. I want things to go back to normal.
"Ms. Emi." I looked from the window and over to the sandy colored hound dog that came into the bedroom. "Boss is back in the village." He informed gently.
I nodded and turned back out the window, pulling the blankets over my shoulder. The sky was a dark grey that resembled Kakashi's eyes. The light pitter patter of rain hit the window, and a low rumble of thunder was heard in the distance. After I dropped Naruto off at school, I haven't been able to get myself out of bed. On top of my broken hand, my heart was broken, and it confined me to the comfort of my blankets and pillows.
"Do you want me to go get him? I'm sure he'll want to know about the pup." He asked gently as he climbed up on his back legs and laid his front paws on the bed in front of me.
"If you want to. But knowing you three, he already knows." I said monotonously as I looked past him and out the window to the storm that was picking up outside.
He chuckled sheepishly as his tail wagged behind him. "Pakkun went to get him as soon as I smelt him return to the village." He admitted.
I pat the small space next to me, encouraging the hound to lay next to me. He hesitated but climbed up onto the bed and curled into my chest. I reached my left hand over and started scratching behind his ears. There was always something so therapeutic about the comfort of dogs. How soft their fur was, how comforting their presence was.
There was a soft knock on the front door, and Bisuke looked up at me questioningly when I didn't get up to answer it.
"I can tell boss you're not ready to see him, if you want." He said gently.
I shook my head. "If I open the door, he won't come inside. He'll find any and every excuse to stay out in the hallway. . . Besides, the door is open." And as if on que, I heard the front door open followed by the soft clicks of Pakkun's nails as he walked across the apartment and toward the bedroom door.
Bisuke shook his head with a soft chuckle. "How did you know boss wouldn't just leave?"
"I didn't." I said softly as a tear trailed down my nose and fell off, soaking into the sheets
There was a light scratching sound at the door that was soon followed by a soft knock.
"Emi?" Kakashi called out softly. I could tell by the small waver in his voice that he was nervous. And as much as I wanted him to just open the door, I knew he wouldn't go any further than there if I didn't open the door for him. I sat up and pulled the covers off as I got out of bed. Wrapping the cardigan I was wearing around my chest, I took a shaky breath before opening the door. His hair was damp, falling loosely in front of his face and dripping on the floor. The rest of him was dry, though, which I could only assume was from the cloak he typically wore when it rained. Aside from the occasional cuts and scrapes that lined his arms, he looks fine. In a physical aspect. But his one onyx eye told me something different. He was scared, nervous, anxious. . . He looked just as broken as I felt.
"Uh, we should leave these two to talk, Bisuke." Pakkun said from behind Kakashi's legs. The hound didn't argue, but he let out a soft whine as he disappeared in a puff of smoke with Pakkun following close behind him.
"You don't have to knock, you know." I said softly with a small crack in my voice. "This is your house too."
He struggled to find his words for a moment, his eye giving me a quick look over before deciding on what to say. But his gaze stayed on my right hand that I had wrapped in its bandages and tucked against my body.
"You didn't go to the hospital? Emi, why wouldn't you get that looked at? Do you know what kind of complications you could have if that's not treated?" He scolded gently with furrowed brows.
"I didn't want any more rumors of you going around." I said honestly, which caused him to look back up at me in surprise.
"You refuse to get that fixed because you're worried about rumors? Emi, I don't care about these stupid rumors. You need -"
"Yes, you do." I interrupted with a small laugh. "You do care. You just feel like those rumors are what you deserve because of all the bull shit that life threw at you. Friend killer? Come on, Kakashi. We both know that is the exact opposite of what you are." His eye widened slightly when I called him by his full name instead of the cute little nickname I have been calling him for years. "You aren't abusive, and the last thing I want to hear is people insinuating that you are. You are one of the kindest, most caring people I know. You just also happen to be haunted by a very harsh and cruel past that causes you to have nightmares. This was an accident, and I'm perfectly fine living with a little bit of discomfort if that means that it will prevent any rumors from starting."
He sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair. "Emi, you need to see a doctor. The medical team can have it healed in a few minutes. Why would you not get that fixed?"
"Because I love you. And because I care about you." I said simply.
He seemed taken aback by me saying that which hurt to see. No matter how many times I insisted that this was an accident, he still didn't believe me. If it wasn't an accident, he wouldn't have been so upset that he felt he had to leave to protect me. He wouldn't be standing here a nervous wreck and worried about the wrist that he broke.
"I wish you didn't sometimes." He sighed.
I shrugged. "Yeah, well, like it or not, you're kind of stuck with me now. So. . . " I said as I turned and headed back toward the bed. I sat with my back pressed against the headboard and pulled the blankets over my legs.
"Pakkun told me. . . "
I pat the space next to me, inviting him to sit. "I understand that you want to protect me. That you feel like you have this dark cloud that seems to follow you around and leaves disaster at every turn. I feel the same way, Kashi." The bed dipped as he sat next to me with his hands resting in his lap. "Naruto misses you, you know." I informed, looking down at the blanket in my lap. "He knows something is wrong. The kid can be an air head sometimes, but he picks up on emotions quickly."
Kakashi sighed but nodded in agreement. "I'll get him today. You shouldn't be out in this anyway."
I blew a short breath out my nose and shook my head. "I'm pregnant, Kashi. Not dying. I'm sure a walk in the rain won't kill me."
He turned his face toward me, and I could see the faintest outline of a smile under his mask. "But what kind of guy lets a pregnant woman go out in the rain when they're more than capable?"
My fingers fidgeted with the blanket as I kept my gaze down. "Hopefully the kind who wants to stay and fix things with their pregnant girlfriend instead of leaving on another month long mission."
He was quiet for a moment but reached over and grabbed my left hand, rubbing his thumb against my knuckles. "I'm sorry I left. I should have stayed and voiced my concerns. You're right. I just . . . I don't know what I'd do if you ended up dying because of me too, Emi. I thought I could keep you safe if I stayed away, but I just worried about you more. . . . And you obviously refuse to take care of yourself if I'm not here to insist." He said with a smirk, causing me to look up at him. He got up from the bed and came around to my side, pulling gently on my left hand. "Come on."
I gave him a questioning look but got out of the bed and followed him out the door and into the living area. He grabbed his rain poncho and draped it over my shoulders before fastening the button around my neck.
"Where are we going?"
"To the hospital." He said simply as he pulled the hood up over my head.
"Kashi, I don't - "
He shook his head to cut me off. "If some rumors go around, then so be it. But I refuse for you to be hurting just because you're trying to protect me. You're growing a fucking person, Emi. Stop thinking about me and think about yourself, about the baby." He insisted.
"We have another chance here, Emi. So please, can we just go to the hospital and get you fixed?" He sighed as he gently took my right hand into his hands and slowly started unwrapped it. "Let me take care of you."
A small tear rolled down my cheek. "You're not going to leave me again, are you?" I choked out.
He looked from my injured hand and up to my face. "Never again." He assured as he stopped the tear dead in its tracks with his thumb.
A/N:
Drink water💧
Touch the Grass🌱
Stay pervy friends🤙
Till next time!🫶