After getting all the information from Khan and Wat, Akk desperately tried to find Ayan to stop him from meeting 'the god's hand'. Akk had searched the whole school building but the shorter boy was nowhere to be found. Akk didn't have Ayan's phone number or address so he had no choice but to meet Ayan at the place where he would meet the others.
He arrived at his school shortly after midnight after he had figured out where Ayan had planned to meet them. But Ayan was nowhere to be seen. Akk became now very worried about the other, fearing that he was too late.
Thinking Ayan would be back soon, Akk hid behind the fences of the school gym, where he had a good view and wouldn't be easily found, and awaited his arrival.
He waited and waited but he didn't see anybody coming. After trying his best to stay awake for almost two hours Akk eventually fell asleep and later was awakened by several voices discussing something. Akk got up quietly and looked over the fence to see who was there.
When Akk saw the masks they wore, he instantly knew that they were members of the 'the god's hand'. And they were carrying somebody who was probably Ayan. Akk wondered what happened that they had to carry him and waited for them to leave.
After dropping Ayan off and leaving him on the ground the group then left. Akk immediately rushed to Ayan who was lying unconscious on the ground, not moving. He tried to wake him up but to no avail. Akk could smell the strong liquor on him and in general Ayan didn't seem to be in good shape. What happened?
With Ayan unresponsive, Akk decided to carry him to his apartment to treat his wounds and sober him up a bit. He managed to get him up and put Ayan's arm around him so he could carry him better.
"Hey, Ayan. Can you hear me?" Akk tried it again but he didn't expect a response from the other.
"Akk?" It was a faint call, but Akk could hear it clearly. He was surprised that Ayan was conscious again, but relieved. But then Akk noticed that the smaller boy was on the verge of passing out again, just barely managing to stay awake.
"Ayan, are you alright? I'm going to take you to my apartment if that's ok." Akk didn't want to push Ayan into something he didn't want. Ayan had already been through a lot and had it bad enough because of him.
"No, Akk..." Akk heard him saying weakly. "I don't wanna go to your apartment..." Akk felt a painful stab in his heart when he realised Ayan was still hurt about yesterday's events. Of course he was. Akk thought. He could only imagine the pain he had caused Ayan.
"I understand. Where do you want us to go then?" Akk asked him in a calm tone.
"I live ten minutes from here...I wanna go home...Please..." Akk could hear the desperation in Ayan's voice.
"Ok, Ayan. I promise to take you home but I need you to stay awake, ok?" Ayan nodded slowly but closed his eyes again.
"Ayan!? Please don't fall asleep. I need you." Akk shook him softly to wake him up. Ayan opened his eyes again and chuckled.
"Funny that you're saying that..." He said in a mocking tone.
"Ayan, we don't have time for that now. I know you're still mad at me, but we need to get you safely to your house first and then we can talk." Akk tried to reason with him. The other boy said nothing more.
"Ok Ayan. We're going now. Can you please tell me the directions?" With Ayan's help, Akk managed to get them both safely to Ayan's house, although it took longer than expected because Ayan kept passing out and Akk had to stop to wake him up each time.
When they arrived, Ayan managed with great difficulty to open his door and they both entered the house. They stumbled to Ayan's room and then Akk carefully let Ayan fall onto his bed. He checked up on him if he was anywhere injured but it didn't seem so.
Relieved, Akk sat down next to Ayan's bed to rest for a brief moment when he suddenly felt a hand run through his hair playfully. He turned around and saw Ayan half awake.
"Ayan, are you still awake?" The smaller boy gave Akk a hand signal, indicating that he wasn't asleep.
Thinking that it was the best time to ask when Ayan was still drunk, Akk finally dared to ask. "Can you tell me what happened to you, Ayan? Why are you so drunk?"
"These guys...They made me drunk...They wanted me to drink a whole bottle by myself...Only then I was allowed to join them...It was really terrifying..." Ayan mumbled, barely managing to get the words out because he was so drunk.
"Ayan..." Akk was shocked to hear that what Ayan had told him. He had heard that normally 'the god's hand' wouldn't do something like that when someone wanted to join. They would only get newcomers to pledge their allegiance to them. Why would they suddenly change things up for Ayan?
"Why are you still calling me 'Ayan', Akk? I've already told you to call me 'Aye'." Ayan said in a hurtful tone. Akk who had been still lost in his thoughts was startled by this unfitting question
"Well, it doesn't really matter anymore...It's not like we are friends...You know...The last few days were really lonely...Everyone at this school fucking hates me for no reason and spreads rumours about me...I thought at least you were on my side, Akk...But you're just like the others..." Listening to Ayan's honest thoughts about him, Akk felt his heart shatter into pieces. He had really screwed it up this time.
"I thought we could become friends...But you let me down when I needed you the most...And now you're back when I'm in such a bad condition..." Akk could hear that Ayan tried to hold back his tears.
"But you know what, Akk?...I still really like you..." Akk didn't expect a sudden confession from Ayan and he felt even more guilty.
"After everything you've done to me...I should hate you...But I can't...I'm really pathetic, aren't I?..." Ayan chuckled to himself but Akk could hear the frustration in his voice.
"I'm sorry, Aye..." That was the only thing that came out of Akk. He couldn't face how badly his actions had hurt Ayan. The consequences were too painful. Akk was about to break down when he suddenly felt Ayan gently wiping the tears from his face. Akk hadn't noticed that he was crying.
"Why are you crying?...This doesn't suit the school prefect...I'm sorry if I said something wrong...I didn't mean to...Please stop crying..." Even though Ayan was still drunk, he seemed genuinely sincere.
Hearing him apologising, Akk completely broke down and he sobbed even harder. Why was Ayan the one apologising? It should be him apologising to Ayan. Everything was his fault. He didn't deserve his apologies.
Ayan slowly got up from his bed and wanted to sit on the floor next to Akk. But on the way he stumbled and fell onto Akk, who caught him in time. Ayan was lying on top of him now.
"Sorry..." Ayan got up from Akk and looked him directly in the eyes. The moon was shining through the window directly on Ayan's face and for the first time Akk noticed how pretty Ayan was.
He was mesmerised by Ayan's beauty. His hair was tousled and falling over his dark puppy eyes which were staring at him with full of sadness. Ayan's eyes were now showing all the pain he was hiding behind his usually carefree looking face. Akk could see him slightly blushing and he didn't know if that was because he was drunk or embarrassed. And his lips looked so kissable right now...
They just stared at each other and for a brief moment it didn't matter what had happened between them before. At that moment it was only them alone in Ayan's room. Just two boys who didn't understand their feelings towards each other.
"Akk, I really wanna kiss you...Can I kiss you?..." Ayan whispered softly into Akk's ear, tickling it a little bit.
Then Ayan leaned in to Akk, their foreheads almost touching. Akk didn't stop him and closed his eyes. Ayan then finally closed the small gap between them by kissing Akk on his lips.
It was a gentle and short kiss but it held so much. All the emotions and feelings that went unspoken. All the pain that was caused and slowly killing them both inside. And yet there was a little longing for the other as if they couldn't live without each other. Akk could taste the faint whiff of alcohol and cigarettes but he didn't mind. The kiss was as sweet as it was painful.
After they parted to catch their breaths Ayan came closer to Akk again for another kiss, but the other boy backed away.
"Aye, you're still drunk. Do you really wanna do this? I'm not gonna do this while you're drunk. I don't want you regret it later." Ayan looked slightly disappointed, but he seemed to understand. He rested his head on Akk's shoulder and they just sat there for several minutes, enjoying each other's presence as they had done it in the past.
Noticing that Ayan was getting sleepy again, Akk decided to change his clothes before Ayan went to sleep. While doing so, he noticed the tattoo on Ayan's hip which he had discovered the first day he had taken care of Ayan. Akk stroked it gently but stopped when the other boy noticeably winced at the touch.
"Where did you get the tattoo?" Embarrassed because of the kiss, Akk tried to change the subject.
"I got it when I was sixteen...When I started to drink at bars...I didn't wanna do it but they convinced me...Saying I need to look more rough to get them more customers...I did some really messed up things in the past..." Listening intently Akk quickly finished changing Ayan's clothes and sat next to him on the bed. He could sense that this story wasn't going in a good direction.
"Aye, you don't need to tell me if you don't want t-"
"Everybody's right...I'm such a fucking whore...A fucking whore who sleeps with other men just to make himself feel better...I'm fucking disgusting..." Ayan's voice was shaking and without having to look at him Akk knew that he was crying.
"Aye, don't say that, please." Akk said, trying to calm the crying boy.
"But it's true...Even you said that..." Ayan finally let Akk know how hurt he was. "You told me yourself that I'm a whore and disgusting you...It still hurts..." It was like a slap to Akk's face as the realisation started to hit again. All the things he had done to Ayan.
"I'm so so sorry, Aye. I didn't mean it. I was just so frustrated and took it out on you. I'm so sorry I hurt you. Please never think of yourself like that." The guilt was almost unbearable, suffocating Akk.
"You know what's funny, Akk...That was the first time I drank again since I've been sober for months...I can't believe that I relapsed just because I wanted to join some stupid gang... I'm really pathetic..." Ayan laughed hysterically, as if unaware of the consequences that might soon befall him.
"I think I should go home now." Akk stood up and wanted to leave. He feared that if he stayed, things would really get out of hand. Any new thing Ayan told him was worse than the previous one. He couldn't take it anymore. How could someone at that young age go through so much?
But before Akk could leave Ayan grabbed his hand, stopping him from leaving.
"No, don't leave me again, Akk...I can't do this anymore...Each day it gets worse...Please stay with me...At least until I fall asleep... Please..." Ayan begged Akk weakly. He sounded desperate and helpless. His sentences were choppy as he couldn't speak properly because of his crying.
Akk immediately felt bad again. He had done it again. Hurting Ayan, by running away just because he couldn't take it anymore. Akk hated himself so much.
"I'll stay with you, Aye. I promise. I'm sorry for hurting you again. Don't cry. I'm here with you." Akk said calmly and stroke Ayan's hair gently.
Ayan finally seemed to calm down and laid down to sleep, still holding Akk's hand as if afraid that if he let go he would lose Akk forever. Akk stayed by his side the whole time, hugging Ayan while stroking his hand comfortingly until Ayan fell asleep.
The next day, Ayan woke up alone in his room with no memories of the night before after meeting Owl, but strangely feeling more empty and abandoned.
Author's note:
I'll be starting school again soon and I still have a lot of school work to do so I'll be updating less from now on. But I'll try to update at least one chapter a week because I don't wanna drop this story because it's fun and I'm really excited how the story will end. I hope that you continue to read it and thank you for supporting me. 🫶