After signing the final contract of the year with a client in the company's meeting room, Pei Hao let out a sigh of relief. He had talked to the necessary clients and finalized the contracts; the company's affairs would finally quiet down for a while.
Fu Bing asked him if he wanted to take a vacation. She remembered the last time when Pei Hao took a week off but was called back after just a few days. After a moment of contemplation, Pei Hao sent a WeChat message to Mo Xi, asking about his plans for Christmas.
That morning, Mo Xi had overslept, hitting the snooze button without realizing it. He ended up sleeping for half an hour more before hurriedly getting up, glancing at his phone, and then rushing to school for an exam. He grabbed a quick sandwich at noon and rushed to the office, completely forgetting to reply.
Pei Hao didn't pay much attention to it either. He knew Mo Xi could be busy during the day and might not have time to reply to him.
The next morning, Pei Hao attended a company meeting where Fu Bing provided a detailed summary of the company's performance for the year. Despite her serious expression, occasional smiles at the corners of her mouth indicated that she was quite satisfied with this year's results. The meeting continued until noon, and then Fu Bing checked her watch, smiling slightly, "That's it for today. The company is on holiday this afternoon. Everyone has been working hard recently."
Cheers filled the meeting room, resembling the scene when teachers announced the cancellation of evening self-study during school days. After praising Fu Bing for a while, everyone excitedly headed back to their workstations to pack up and go home.
Returning to his office, Pei Hao pulled out his phone and checked it again. Mo Xi still hadn't replied, and it had been nearly 20 hours. He couldn't help feeling a bit disheartened. He was about to send another message to Mo Xi when he heard a knock on the door.
"Come in," Pei Hao said without looking up from his phone, his expression sour.
"Brother Hao, Fu Sister asked me to bring these documents to you." Chen Xu walked in, holding a folder. He stole a glance at Pei Hao and then lowered his head.
Ever since the incident at Pei Hao's house last time, Chen Xu dared not meet Pei Hao's gaze. Whenever he entered Pei Hao's office, he did so cautiously, making sure not to say more than necessary. Pei Hao had also never mentioned that incident. Although they still had some work-related interactions, Pei Hao's attitude towards him had become even more distant.
"Alright," Pei Hao took the documents and didn't even look up, "Thank you."
Concise and polite, but his demeanor was distant, keeping everyone at arm's length.
This was how Pei Hao interacted with his ordinary colleagues.
In Pei Hao's eyes, Chen Xu was no different from the various other colleagues in the company. But no matter what, Chen Xu genuinely liked Pei Hao! Every time he thought about this, Chen Xu felt a sense of frustration.
He was also very curious about Pei Hao's feelings towards the guy from the hospital that time.
Pei Hao quickly skimmed through the documents and placed the folder back on the desk. He noticed Chen Xu was still standing by the door, watching him with apprehension. Pei Hao glanced at him and asked, "Is there something else?"
"Brother Hao, I..." Chen Xu tugged at the hem of his shirt, paused, and then hesitatingly continued, "I... like you."
Pei Hao was taken aback. He thought they could silently bury this matter, especially after he had gotten angry at Chen Xu last time. He didn't expect Chen Xu to not give up.
Straightening up, Pei Hao looked at Chen Xu seriously, saying, "I have feelings for someone else."
Chen Xu's eyes dimmed, and he asked, "Is it the guy from your house last time?"
"Yes," Pei Hao answered firmly without any hesitation.
The midday sun streamed in. Chen Xu lowered his head, and his bangs cast a heavy shadow over his eyes. "So, I don't stand a chance at all?"
"No, don't waste your time on me," Pei Hao replied. He had rejected confessions enough times to handle them quite naturally.
The gray sky outside the window seemed a bit cold. Chen Xu sighed and asked, "Why does it have to be him?"
"Why?" Pei Hao pondered this seriously for a moment. A gust of wind blew in, lifting the corners of his mouth into a faint smile. "Because he's the best person."
Pei Hao's genuine smile was like a thorn in Chen Xu's heart. From that moment on, he realized he had no chance. He didn't ask any further questions and left the room dejectedly.
Pei Hao felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He picked up his phone and checked the time, typing a message to Mo Xi and then deleting it. After pondering for a while, he took out another phone from his pocket and opened MischievousChild's account.
MischievousChild: Are you asleep?
Mo Xi quickly replied from the other end: Not yet, doing homework (tired.jpg)
MischievousChild: Do you have to submit it tomorrow? It's so late and you're still working on it...
It was almost 1 AM.
Mo Xi: It's due next Monday, but I might not have time to work on it in the next few days.
MischievousChild: So busy? Not even during the weekend?
Mo Xi: I have a school forum during the day on the weekend, and I have plans to go out for dinner at night.
MischievousChild: Oh~ Going out for dinner too.
Pei Hao had gained a good understanding of Mo Xi's schedule. Frankly, it seemed that Xiao Xi (Mo Xi) was either busy studying or working most of the time, and Pei Hao rarely heard about him going out for dinner with someone else.
Moreover, Xiao Xi seemed to have time to make plans with others for dinner but not to reply to his messages.
Pei Hao bit his lip, feeling somewhat wronged.
Mo Xi didn't pick up on the unusual tone in MischievousChild's messages. Without much thought, he replied: A friend wants to introduce me to someone, so I'll go meet them (confused laughter.jpg)
Pei Hao looked at the screen of his phone. His face, filled with a sense of desolation, reflected in the dim light. He sat slumped in a corner of his room, furrowing his brows as he glanced at his phone. He took a deep drag from his cigarette and impatiently pressed the lock screen button.
Cigarette butts littered the floor, and the room was sealed tight, saturated with the strong smell of smoke. If someone were to turn on the light now, they might think the room was on fire.
Suddenly, a wave of sourness surged up in Pei Hao's stomach, as if a blender were churning his insides. He couldn't discern if it was from not having eaten since noon or if his acute gastritis had flared up again.
Regardless of the reason, he needed this pain to suppress the overwhelming sense of loss in his heart.
As midnight approached, the pains all merged together, indistinguishable whether from his stomach or his heart, like a multitude of ants gnawing away at his organs. Pei Hao curled up into a ball, tiny beads of sweat forming on his forehead, quickly soaking through his clothes.
He thought countless times about what he would do if Mo Xi ended up with someone else. He didn't expect to be defeated before that moment even arrived.
And now, he was utterly defeated.
Every corner of his home still bore traces of Mo Xi's presence – they ate together, watched TV together, slept together. Closing his eyes, he could still remember Mo Xi's scent.
These past two years had been the most peaceful and secure time he had experienced.
But it was all just a self-deceptive dream.
He had assumed that after spending these past two weeks together, Mo Xi's attitude towards him might gradually change. He hadn't expected that the moment Mo Xi turned away, he would be arranging a date.
This sudden blow left him feeling disoriented.
It was as if nothing he did mattered, as if all his efforts were in vain. Even if Mo Xi and that person didn't get along this time, there would be countless others waiting in line. Would he have to endure this heartache thousands of times over?
Yet he had no right to point fingers at Mo Xi's choices. After all, it was his own fault that he had ruined everything back then.
Gasping for breath – pain
Inhaling – pain
He couldn't remember how many times this cycle had repeated, but gradually, the excruciating pain coursing through his body began to numb. The sky was slowly brightening, a beam of white light piercing through the curtain and illuminating the room. His clothes had gone from wet to dry.
He weakly picked up his phone, his eyesight blurry, and looked at the message. He let out a bitter smile and closed his eyes in resignation.