[[ this is going to be really causal, think of this like I'm texting you guys lol group chat moment. Please forgive bad grammar or spelling errors, I just want to get this out]]
So... I suck.
Seasick is pretty much the most dearest thing to my heart, however life has really taken a chunk out of me. I know I would get so upset seeing HIATUS on my favorite stories and I avoided putting that on here, however, I ended up just ghosting y'all trying to avoid being open about the progress of the story.
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't dream of Alana and the pirates and their adventure. Especially because WE WERE/ARE SO CLOSE TO THE END!
I can taste the drama it's so good.
But... the past year of my life has been crazy. I'll be open with you all. I am a 23 year old woman, I started writing SEASICK at 19 during a super physically abusive relationship dating an alcoholic. Seasick was my escape from him on an old busted laptop hiding in some dark room. I modeled Alana after me hoping to vicariously live through her and experience love of my own creation. I made a Y/N (horribly neglected) version so others could escape as well.
I ended that relationship at almost 21 and left. I got a lot posted during that year. I dated another guy, he was controlling and obsessed (but not in a cool sort of way like my book lol ((joking joking)) He just wanted all my time and attention on him. He later exposed that he would get me drunk to SA me even though we were dating.
I broke up with him and dealt with two traumas now.
Then, I met the man I am currently with. I love him, but early on he cheated on me... horribly so. I've been dealing with that sort of betrayal and heartache for a year.
All my attention was on him thinking if I focused on anything else I'd get cheated on again. Then there was bills, losing jobs, losing loved ones, sexual harassment at work, family drama.
Seasick unfortunately took a backseat.
However, again. There is not a day that goes by that I'm not storytelling in my head. I often make art and my own fan edits for seasick 😂 pretty lame, but I love it so much.
And it's been overwhelming because I want to change a lot of the story. Like I said, I started writing this story as a teenager, and it was only meant for my eyes so then story moves so quickly. And there's soooo many cringy parts lol
I want to go back and add more so it's not just meeting->obsession. I want to make it more "realistic" and at least add that "spark" chapter for each pirates that set off their own individual infatuation for Alana.
I also want to spend more time in Kori than the two days we saw written out. (I believe the total trip lasted almost a week after the time jump)
I want more Silas and Mamoru chapters, a better look into their dynamic as two people charged with the same duty.
All these things are weighing down on my ADHD brain and preventing me from doing what I love, writing.
But it's unfair for the people who do love my story. So... I'm going to finish off Seasick then we will undergo "construction" I believe. I think that's the best option to give you all content, and for me to have a complete base to work on.
Also, no one in my life "knows" I write lol. Of course people close to me know, but it's more like a silly side hobby in their eyes and NO ONE is interested lol so I have no one to go to and talk through my ideas and plans with. It's all in my head and it gets jumbled and confusing and I have like five different endings with no outside opinions.
I also have 0 friends lmao.
To make up for the YEAR long break, and truthfully I didn't even realize a year had passed, I'll do whatever you guys want along with an update.
Once again, like after the first hiatus I went through, we have options.
Character / author Q&A where you can ask any question at all about myself or the story or the characters.
Posted pic crew art I've collected
Fan edits (made only by myself lmao)
Author reveal
"History" lessons learning more about the lore of Seasick
Whatever you guys want
I will do my best to make up for this horrible year long wait. So I'm open to requests of things I can do so I can fill your entertainment during upload pauses.
And the crazy thing is, I have about four chapters written AFTER the one I currently have writers block on, I can't figure out how to transition how I want to. But I'm almost done with it.
Please, please, interact and ask questions and give me something to do for you all while I write. I want to be held accountable for this story. I know I have a small 'fan' base, and I probably lost great readers because of this break, and I'd be lying if I just wanted to give up completely because I'm not that good of a writer anyway, but I want to see this through. I love seasick, and I love all of you especially the ones reaching out in private DMs checking on me.
Love you guys..
- L RANDY
PS I'll also update the Y/N version.
I should have the official update out by this Friday.