Since parting ways during the Spring Festival, Shane has been appearing even more diligently at the library. Every time he comes, it's to borrow or return books. So, even if he has other intentions, Mo Xi can't say for sure.
Shane intentionally or unintentionally brings small things for Mo Xi, like a cup of coffee on a weekend morning or a couple of interesting trinkets. These gestures are small enough that if he declines, he seems overly distant, but if he doesn't, it feels like he's leading him on.
He has invited Mo Xi many times, but Mo Xi has always politely refused, citing being too busy. However, Shane hasn't given up at all. He continues to be himself, borrowing books when he needs to borrow them and giving gifts when he wants to.
Even Mo Xi's colleagues have noticed something, and they occasionally joke that maybe he should consider Shane to enrich his student life, saying that meeting up wouldn't be a loss.
Mo Xi always changes the topic with a smile and doesn't entertain the thought. He probably became immune to this kind of attention that appears out of nowhere and includes some gift-giving, especially after the shadow of Pei Hao's pursuit in the past.
His main concern now is how to save up and pay the tuition for the upcoming year. He chose this path, and he's determined to get through it no matter what, even if he has to crawl on his knees.
On a Friday, Shane sent a message inviting him to dinner over the weekend. Mo Xi casually scrolled through their chat history and realized that he had already rejected him five times.
Mo Xi always felt uneasy about someone's unexplained affection, especially when he didn't feel the same way. He didn't have the habit of keeping backup plans, and he didn't see the point in wasting someone else's time and effort. If he didn't firmly refuse, he didn't know how long Shane would persist without a clear message.
After much thought, he deleted the text message he had just composed and changed it to "Sure."
He wanted to take this opportunity to clarify things face to face.
The weather was quite nice that day. Mo Xi got off work at four in the afternoon, arranged his handover work, and left the office wearing his coat.
Shane had been waiting for a while. When he saw Mo Xi, he approached him excitedly.
It was clear that Shane had dressed up carefully today. His beard was neatly trimmed, his hair was well-styled with wax, and a faint scent of cologne lingered around him.
"Happy birthday!" The first thing Shane said to Mo Xi in Chinese was a slightly unclear greeting. Since he had met Mo Xi, he had been studying Chinese at home.
Mo Xi was surprised at first, but after thinking for a moment, he realized that it was indeed his birthday today. He had completely forgotten about it, and someone else had to remind him.
Blushing slightly, he smiled and said, "I'm not unaffected by this, but I also find it a bit funny." Spending his first birthday in a foreign land with Shane was something he hadn't anticipated.
Shane looked at Mo Xi's confused expression and couldn't resist ruffling his hair. Did this kid actually forget his own birthday? He lived in a daze, which made him all the more endearing.
Feeling a bit uneasy, Mo Xi averted his gaze and asked, "Where are we going?"
"I've made a reservation at a restaurant." Shane's eyes were fixed on him, and his affection was impossible to hide.
"Alright." Mo Xi nodded and followed Shane towards the parking lot.
In just a few minutes, the winter sun consciously dimmed its light, making way for the unexpected sleet. Snowflakes fell relentlessly, carried by the wind. Many pedestrians quickened their steps along the roadside.
Suddenly, a figure appeared in front of them. Amidst the bustling crowd, this figure stopped and quietly watched them.
Mo Xi couldn't help but stop in his tracks and look ahead.
The person was wearing a black windbreaker, standing straight in the snow and wind. His eyes were deep and unfathomable, staring coldly at Mo Xi. He tightly pursed his slightly pale lips, and his sharp jawline seemed even more pronounced. His brows were knitted into a curve of pain.
Seeing the familiar profile, Mo Xi's heart skipped a beat.
He had never expected to encounter Pei Hao in such a place and under such circumstances. It felt like a dream, so unreal that it made him doubt his senses.
Snowflakes descended like a chaotic mix of a thousand thoughts, blurring everything in an instant. It was like the person's eyes, harboring too many emotions, too intense to look at directly.
The two of them stood facing each other, still and silent.
After a while, Shane nudged Mo Xi's elbow and curiously asked, "Is he a friend of yours?"
Mo Xi stood stunned as if short-circuited, only then pulling his gaze away from Pei Hao. He shook his head slightly, whispered a response that it wasn't, and then took brisk strides forward without looking back at that person again.
A gust of wind blew, and the snowfall intensified. It seemed like the world was about to be engulfed in white. To Pei Hao, each snowflake that hit his face felt like a sharp knife, soundless yet pricking his skin.
And Mo Xi's simple "no" was the sharpest blade, carrying a scorching temperature that burned him raw.
He had intended to silently watch over Mo Xi, but with this sudden addition to Mo Xi's side, he finally couldn't hold back.
He had many things he wanted to say, to ask Mo Xi how he was doing, whether he had any plans of returning to China. A thousand words were on the tip of his tongue, but in the end, he was defeated by Mo Xi's simple "no."
Pei Hao stood still, his face pale. He didn't know how much time had passed until the snow stopped. Sometimes fate was like a tide, rushing in all directions, and as a character in this drama, he was completely helpless.
Throughout the "date," Mo Xi remained in a thoughtful and distracted state. Sometimes Shane had to repeat a question several times before Mo Xi understood what he was asking.
Even though Mo Xi hadn't shown much interest in him, Shane, drawing on his more than thirty years of experience as a gay man, sensed that today's encounter with the person on the road was not just a simple connection.
He couldn't resist wanting to clarify things.
"That person we saw earlier," Shane cautiously ventured, "he looked at you in a strange way."
"Oh?" Mo Xi didn't have any intention of evading the questioning; in fact, he willingly continued, "He's my ex-boyfriend, but we broke up a while ago."
Since he wanted to be clear with Shane today, there was no point in dodging around.
"He's a lucky guy then." Shane sighed, his gaze fixed on Mo Xi, as if he wanted to capture every subtle expression on his face.
"I used to really like him, but he didn't like me back at the time. After we broke up, I felt like I lost the ability to love someone." Mo Xi forced a bitter smile, lowered his head. The restaurant's dim lighting concealed his eyes from Shane, but amidst his attempt to sound casual, Shane could catch a hint of sadness.
"That's all in the past. People have to learn to look forward," Shane comforted, seeing Mo Xi so melancholic for the first time, "You can still find love."
Shaking his head wearily, Mo Xi replied that maybe he could, but not right now. Love as intense and lingering as the one from more than a year ago was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for him.
"Perhaps, but not now," Mo Xi looked at Shane, cleared his throat, and met his eyes sincerely, "Actually, I wanted to tell you face-to-face today that you don't need to take special care of me anymore. Don't do things for me. I appreciate your concern, but right now, I'm busy with school and making money, and I don't have any other plans."
Shane knew that Mo Xi didn't have any special feelings for him at the moment, but he always felt that they hadn't spent enough time together. He had thought today was an opportunity given by Mo Xi, but he didn't expect him to just clarify his rejection.
After being caught off guard and rejected, Shane sat in his chair in a daze for a while. Then he nodded with a bitter smile, realizing that he and the cheerful guy in front of him truly didn't have a connection.
A moment later, Shane picked up his wine glass, looked at Mo Xi with an inquiring gaze, and said, "I just went through a breakup. Can you have a few drinks with me as friends?"
Mo Xi tilted his head and chuckled, "Sure!"
Back at home, it was already evening. Mo Xi received calls from Uncle Li and his father. First, Uncle Li wished him a happy birthday, and then his father asked why he had transferred the tuition back to their account. Mo Xi mumbled a few vague excuses and hung up; he wasn't in the mood to talk to them.
After a while, his sister called, asking if he needed anything. Mo Xi chatted with her briefly about family matters and ended the call quickly, as his sister noticed he was absent-minded today.
After hanging up, Mo Xi sat on his chair at home, replaying the scenes from encountering Pei Hao earlier that day in his mind. How could that person appear at the entrance of their school library at this moment? It was such a coincidence to run into him when he got off work, and today was his birthday of all days.
With so many coincidences, if Shane hadn't also mentioned encountering that person later, Mo Xi would have doubted if it was all just his imagination.
A thought began to take shape in Mo Xi's mind: Could it be that Pei Hao deliberately chose to appear on his birthday? Did Pei Hao still think about him? But another voice quickly occupied his intellect: Everything is just a coincidence, and Pei Hao had probably forgotten all about their past.
After spinning around in his desk chair for dozens of turns, Mo Xi suddenly laughed at himself. Why did he still care about Pei Hao so much? Just a casual appearance, a brief two-minute encounter, had left him uneasy the entire day.
Could that person have cast some kind of spell on him, making him remember and think about this for so many years?
Feeling like a deflated balloon, Mo Xi lay down on his bed, feeling utterly listless.
Life needed to get busier and more tiring again so that these thoughts that shouldn't exist wouldn't find a way in.
After Pei Hao returned to China, he developed a high fever, and his forehead was scorching hot. He burned for several days in a row. Several times, Song Wanqing heard him mumbling a name while he was in a daze.
"Do you think our son is in love?" Song Wanqing looked at Pei Hao, who was lying weakly in bed, and asked Pei Yi Xin, "I keep hearing him muttering 'Xiao Xi
, Xiao Xi.'"
"How would I know?" Every time Pei Yi Xin mentioned Pei Hao, he felt annoyed. He would often leave the company without saying a word and was completely immature. If he hadn't fallen so ill this time, he would have definitely disciplined him.
"No wonder he rejected those blind date introductions before. It seems he has someone he likes," Song Wanqing gently touched Pei Hao's forehead, relieved to find that his temperature had gone down, "Let's ask him properly when he's feeling better."
However, after Pei Hao recovered from his illness, he became tight-lipped about everything, and he never mentioned anything about being in a relationship. But what put Pei Yi Xin's mind at ease was that his son seemed like a different person after coming back this time. He threw himself completely into work, often working late into the night. Within just three months, he led his team to secure two major clients.
The entire company praised Pei Hao, and Pei Yi Xin gained face among the company's executives. He also decided not to dwell on Pei Hao's unauthorized trip to the United States this time.