Min Yoongi
Sometimes you are too far gone in your actions that fixing them or coming back isn't an option. Even if I want to repent there would be no use. I might seem strong but I have my weaknesses. Maybe Jimin was right, Jungkook was a better then me. Or atleast he has learnt from his past mistakes perhaps and I am too doomed to learn from my mistakes.
Seokjin was right too but there is no point. After tonight everything will be over. It will be a new day for him and for me. I scoped up one last shot before going out. While I was at counter, my phone rang and Felix dropped a news that I wasn't expecting. I couldn't belive my ears, what if... What if it was truth and I've lost him forever. An ugly feeling started to stir up and I rush to the hospital not caring about my speed or my life.
"Where is him? Where is Jimin?" I shouted entering rhe corridor where Felix was pacing back and forth.
"Mr. Min when I reached there to pick Mr. Park, he didn't answer the door so I had to go inside by myself. I found him bleeding and unconscious in bath tub. He has lost alot of blood and also water has seeped into his lungs. He is in critical condition." Felix sighed.
"No, this can't be.... You are lying. I need to see him right now." I wrestled with him to let me go inside but he held me back.
"No, Mr. Min you can't go inside. Please understand, doctors are taking care of him." he said holding on to my arm to pull me back.
"Noo..... This can't be.... I need to see him." Shock took over my body and I let myself go, slouching down the floor.
Seconds passed by following the minutes then maybe hour or so, no one came out of the room. I usually don't believe in prayers, but I mumbled them under my breath to return him back to me. I won't be able to take this loss. In those moments I regretted alot of things, including my existence.
My eyes were stick to the door of ICU all the time, think if only I could take back all the things I said. It felt like sand is slipping from my hands and I can't hold it back. If something happens to Jimin. I won't be able to live with myself.
The doors of the ICU opened and I rushed toward the doctor coming out, "Mr. Park has lost alot of blood, due to water seeping in their lungs and gut cavity made it worse. His weakness challenged us greatly to remove water. However, we performed the procedure and blood is being transfused. Although, I regret to inform you that we can't say if he will get out of it. His body is fragile and it seem like he hasn't been on proper diet from a long time."
"What...what do you mean.... When will he wake up. Tell me when will he wakeup." I lost my temper. I need confirmation, any kind of hope to see him again.
"See, we should be thankful that he is alive, let's hope for the best because it depends on his body, saying a proper time is not possible for us. I hope you understand." with this the doctor left.
The feelings in those moments I felt can not be described in words. I don't want to lose him. I don't want him to leave me like that. "I want to see him please." I pleaded to Felix.
After talking to doctors they allowed me to visit him, although I don't deserve a glimpse of him but I was dying to see him.
It has been five years since I cried last because I vowed myself that I won't cry until, I bring justice to Iseul. Seeing Jimin's lifeless body attached to numerous wire, made my heart shatter into pieces.
I am the reason of his state. I wish it was me instead of him lying here. I sat by his side and tears rolled down my face. What have I done?
He gave me peace when I was on utter chaos. He absorbed my pain when it was too much for me to handle. He held me close when I was shattering apart. He gave me warmth when everyone gave me a cold shoulder. What I gave him? Hurt? Disappointment? Lies? Hate?
I let my tears flow, I was feeling pain as if I was standing at square one before meeting him or before falling in love with him. But my pain was nothing infront of the pain I inflicted upon him.
I sniffled taking his hand into mine, "Don't ever forgive me for this Jimin. I am your culprit, give me whatever torment you want but please wake up. Please wakeup Jimin. Don't leave me alone in this cold world. I know I don't deserve to ask anything from you but please come back. I won't ask for anything else. I am a pathetic person whom you fell in love with. My sorry will not justify my cowardness, my fears and the things I have done to you. So, I beg you for the sake of your love to wake up.
You didn't nothing wrong, it was me, it was me who was doomed. It was me who made you feel less. It was me who made you feel unworthy. You did nothing wrong but to give me love. I ask one last thing from you to please come back." I cried, caressing the back of his hand remembering how where it all went wrong.
Flashback
The sun was setting in the background, light breeze blowing lightly swaying his hair off from his forehead. His golden skin shone when dying rays was falling on his face. If I could tell, it was the most mesmerizing scene I've ever experienced. His plum lips forming a beautiful shape whenever he smiled.
"You know Yoongi, what's beautiful about sun?" he asked tilting his head we both were sitting by the sea shore.
"What?"
"It burns endless during day to light the life of others. In night it lights up the moon still burning itself to bring life to others."
"Hmmm..."
"That's how love is, when you love someone you'd burn your self endlessly to light their life. I never knew I had it in me but since, you came into my life, I am ready to burn for you endlessly."
"That's why I always feel warm being near you." I smiled.
"You do?" he closed in and pecked my lips.
"Yoongi I don't want to do this anymore. I want to quit, I love you and this life I am living feels wrong."
"Then quit it. I'll talk to Ashley and see what needs to be done."
"Then what?" he smiled at me with hopeful eyes.
"Then you will live with me. Being only mine." I pulled him making him sit on my thighs.
"I would want nothing more than to be yours only."
"Yes, then it'll be just you and me."
"And?" he giggled.
"What?"
"You know after we live together. What's the future?" he asked caressing my jaw.
"That's it. What else you want?" I laughed.
"Umm.... Aren't we gonna marry? And have a family someday..." he smiled so sweetly at me.
I chuckled at his words, "What marry? No, we won't be marrying."
"What?" the expression on his face changed.
"You will be mine, living with me for the rest of your life what else do you need Jimin?"
"I know... But I love you and you love me.... One day I wish to take it to next step you know... To be your husband... In the eyes of God and World." he said biting his lower lip as if he was nervous.
"What happened to you Jimin. You know right I have a reputation to hold. I can't marry you....given your...."
"My what?" he furrowed his eyebrows.
"Your past, I mean you know it doesn't matter to me but people will judge me for it."
He looked at me and let out a laugh, "You are joking right babe?" his kissed my cheek and I pushed him back gently from his shoulder. He stared at my face with questionable eyes.
"No Jimin, I can't marry you.... You are a prostitute and how can I own you as my husband."
"God... This... This can't be happening. Don't you love me?"
"Love and marriage is different."
"No, you are ashamed of me Yoongi." tears start to form in his eyes.
"You are fussing over nothing Ji...."
"You want to keep me for the rest of life to just fuck me in secret. It isn't love, it is slavery." now tears rolled down falling on his cheeks.
"If you want to put it that way."
"Touché.... Here I believed that you loved me. I don't want it like that Yoongi. I don't want to be your slave. I have loved you with my whole heart and I to be yours fully. If you can't give me that then...."
"Then what? Huh? Aren't you forgetting your place? Being demanding all of sudden..." I grabbed his chin harshly to kiss him but he pushed me back with a force.
"Don't.... Please don't come near me. If you can't give me all of it then please don't give me some of it." he removed his tears aggressively and left me standing there.
Flashback Ends
That was the day when it all went wrong and I threw his love away. That day I decided not to give him any hopes and tried to make him hate me. I came so far that I didn't realize I pushed him to take such a step.
To end his life. I'll do whatever he asks of me. I won't push him anymore. I cried and cried endless sitting by his side, that's when I felt that how big is the curse of losing the one you love and I don't even want to imagine it. I just want him to come back and curse me and punish me however he wants, but not leave me alone in the abyss of this cruel life.
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@Hayatazim I got the flashback inspiration from you......😋
Love from my side 💜