I awake with a blissful smile on my lips and the feeling of safety and warmth. The smile falters a little when I feel my sore muscles. I turn my head and catch Loki staring at me with a strange expression in his eyes, but when I reach out, all I sense is contentment and... he thinks that I'm adorable when I sleep?!
He smiles down at me, noticing that I am finally awake. "Good morning, darling." He nuzzles my neck and runs his hand along my still very naked side, gently caressing my soft skin. "How do you feel?" "A little sore." I admit. "But apart from that I'm fine." I smile up at him and he runs a hand through my hair.
"I'd be surprised if you weren't." A low chuckle vibrates from his chest, the sound sending a pleasant shiver over my body, making the hairs on my skin stand up. "I'm a god after all." "Mhm. I noticed." I hum in response.
"I'll run you a bath. You'll feel better after." He sits up but I pull him back down. "Nooo!" I whine when the cool air hits me. "Come back, you're warm!" "I'll be back in a second." He promises and peels me off him, tucking me into the warm blanket before disappearing into his bathroom.
I hear the sound of water running before he comes back. I notice that he has put on a pair of boxers, and I smirk when I see the marks I've left on his back. He follows my gaze and smirks. A green shimmer envelops his back for a second before the marks are gone.
"Eyy!" I protest jokingly but quickly shut up as he crawls under the covers again. Instantly, I scoot over, seeking his warmth. I squeal at the sudden discomfort when Loki's grip around me tightens as the unpleasant sensation of his healing magic runs through my body.
But after only two seconds his grip loosens again and the feeling is gone along with the bruises he left on my hips and my collar bone. But I still feel the bruise on my neck and when I look at him questioningly, he only smirks at me.
A thin ray of golden morning light finds its way through a gap of the black curtains, illuminating Loki's face and blinding me. I squint my eyes, watching as the light catches in Loki's raven hair. I lift my hand, tucking a lost strand behind one of his ears.
He looks like he wants to say something, but the expression quickly vanishes and he pulls away the covers, gently nudging me into his bathroom where he turns off the water and lets me test the temperature.
He hands me a towel and then leaves, closing the door behind him to give me some privacy. I lower myself into the hot water, relaxing as the warmth spreads through my whole body.
The warm water really helps my aching muscles. I lean back into the tub and soak in the clean water, drawing shapes into the foam that floats around me as I think about last night. How gentle he's been. Well, at first.
He's changed so much since I first met him. No, he hasn't changed. He's opened up. I'm sure, if he'd been treated right, he'd show his other side, the Loki I know, more often and to others as well.
I still don't know much of his past, but the part that he feels betrayed by his father is something I figured out after one of our very first interrogation sessions when I brought the topic of the throne up.
There were some pretty heavy feelings involved, hate and disdain towards his father and jealousy for his brother only being a small part of the emotional chaos that had rolled over me like a wave at that day, almost threatening to drown me.
I don't know how long I sit in the tub, but when I finally wrap myself in the fluffy towel, the water has long cooled down. When I dry my hair I spot a shirt, neatly folded in one of the compartments of the towel shelf.
It looks like he's forgotten it's there at some point and I take the freedom to put it on. When I exit his bathroom he looks up from the book on his lap. He's sitting leant back in his reading chair, his legs crossed.
When he notices me, he looks up and tilts his head, biting his lip when he sees me wearing one of his shirts, again. "You little thief." He chuckles and places his book aside, beconing me closer.
I slowly walk over to him as he gets up, towering above me. He looks me up and down and then sighs, his magic enveloping me. "No!" I squeal, gripping the shirt tightly, but when I look down I notice that he only magicked me into a pair of my own sweatpants, the shirt being where it was before.
"As much as I appreciate the view, If you keep running around in only my shirt, I can't guarantee for your safety." He smirks down at me. "I wouldn't mind spending the whole day in bed with you, but I believe we should prepare for tomorrow." He runs his hands down my sides.
"I'll go and grab some breakfast." I tell him and he nods approvingly. I close the door behind me and turn around, a wide smile plastered onto my lips. My smile falters when Steve spots me. "Y/n, I want you in the training area in thirty minutes."
He doesn't question me walking out of Loki's room with a shirt that could be twice my size. "Aye, sir." I grumble and trot into my own quarters, changing into my training clothes and march into the kitchen, pour myself a coffe and snatch an apple from the fruit basket.
On my way to the training area, I fiddle with the hem of my training suit, liking the way it feels against my skin. It's smooth, but feels strong. "I'm not sparring with you again." I tell Steve when I see the lonely mat in the middle of the room. There's no training dummy or punching bag like normal.
Steve crosses his arms and chuckles, shaking his head. "You wouldn't stand a chance." I scoff, knowing he is right. His enhanced genes allow him to beat me within seconds. "I don't want you to fight me." He tells me. "I want you to shape shift." I instantly turn around and dash for the door, but Steve is faster, blocking my way.
"You can't run from your powers forever, Y/n. You have to learn to control them." He pleads. "Don't you remember what happened last time?" "Don't remember me." I groan. He is talking about my first four months with the avengers. I was younger. And I freshly came out of that... relationship with Aiden. I was scared of everything.
My very strong emotions sometimes triggered my ability but I could never control it. It was dangerous. For me and for others. It still happens from time to time but I mastered the skill to control my emotions and fight back the tingling sensation that warns me shortly before my body changes shape.
Or attempts to do so. I never fully changed shape. I always managed fight it, but the built up energy bursting free always caused destruction around me when I wasn't able to fully contain my ability.
"Just try." Steve encourages me. "If something bad happens, I'm right here." I shake my head. "Last time, we needed Bucky, Tony and Thor plus that sedative from Bruce to keep me from accidentallly destroying the training area, remember?" I bite my lip and shake my head. "I don't want to hurt you in case something happens."
He sighs and leans against the door. "I won't pressure you. I'll give you the time you need. Just try. I won't rush you." He promises. "And the rest is already informed. They'll be here in seconds if anything goes wrong." "Fine." I surrender to his convincing and walk over to the mat, taking in a deep breath.
"You sure?" I ask one last time, hoping he'd change his mind in the last second, but of course he doesn't. "Go on." He smiles and sits down on the other end of the mat, making himself comfortable as I step on the mat and try to relax.
Don't hurt Steve. I repeat over and over in my head. Don't hurt him! Stay calm! I try to loosen up and slowly relax, before searching for the beast inside of me. It's there. Resting. Waiting. It roars awake as I find it, wanting to break free. It's stronger than I remember and I open my eyes to look at Steve.
"It's too strong." I whisper. "I'll loose control." "Let it free." He tells me. "It'll only get stronger if you always force it back inside." I feel my body starting to tingle and I whince when my back starts aching as my body attempts to change shape. I try to contain it. I try to channel it, but it only gets worse.
"It hurts." I inform Steve through gritted teeth, fear and pain increasing drastically. "I can't stop it!" My eyes widen in horror when I realise that I'm loosing control again. The air around me starts to heat up at the energy my body is emmitting while fighting against me pushing the beast back inside. The few things that are in the room start flying around knocking into each other or the wall.
"Steve, get out of here!" I yell in horror, pain stabbing through my back, making black spots appear in my field of vision. "I won't." Steve tells me calmly. "You won't hurt me. Control it." "I can't!" Don't hurt him. Just don't hurt him. I repeat in my head again as the dark, scary energy threatens to overtake power.
My ears start ringing and it takes me a second to realize that I must have screamed in agony. I hear muffled voices, then two hands guide me on my way down as my knees give way. I end up kneeling on the floor as I get pulled against someone's chest. Two cool hands connect with my temples. "Breathe." A voice that I immediately identify as Loki's, demands.
"Breathe!" Greedily I fill my lungs with oxygen. I didn't even notice the lack of air in my lungs. "You're doing it wrong." He informs me as I whimper again when the stabbing in my back intensifies again, the beast starting to break through. It gets harder and harder to contain it. It hurts so much.
"Don't try to contain or channel it." Loki tells me. "Let it free. Let it consume you. Don't fight it." I manage to shake my head and feel a hand tangling in my hair, softly playing with it. "It hurts." I reply and in response, he only holds me tighter. "I know. But it will feel better when you let it out. Don't be afraid. I'm here."
I take a deep, shaky breath before I hold onto him tightly, and then, I let go.