𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮
2 years ago
Loureline was sitting with her parents at the dinner table, she was just telling what she had done with the boys that day when her mother interrupted her. "Honey, your father and I have something to tell you."
The look on her parents' faces was serious and Lori knew it didn't mean anything good. "What's wrong?" she asked.
Her father looked at her sadly while her mother spoke. "I got a great job offer in Texas and I'm going to take it."
Lori looked at her mother as if she had just spoken Spanish.
"What does that mean?" she asked, still hopeful that they wouldn't move away.
"We're moving to Austin at the end of the summer." Her mother said and Lori's heart broke.
She shook her head. "You can't be serious."
"Yes, I know it's going to be hard for you, but you'll make friends there." Said her mom and Lori looked at her dad.
"You don't really want to do this, do you dad?" He looked at her and his eyes said no but his mouth said yes.
She stood up and looked at her mom.
"Did you think about me for a second in this plan, mom? I don't want to leave. I have my friends and my boyfriend here. I don't want to leave. Mom please don't take it. I'm begging you." "Lori, it's already decided, we're leaving." Her mother whispered.
Lori screamed. "Why? Why are you doing this to me? Why don't you go by yourself and we'll stay here?"
"You want me to move to Texas without you?" "Yes, as long as I can stay here."
"How did I raise you to be so disrespectful to your mother?" she asked.
"You raised me here, my whole life, and now you want to leave, that's not fair of you."
"I think it's better if you go to you room now," said her father, who had been quiet all the time.
Lori ran upstairs and slammed her door. She lay down in bed and screamed into her pillow, she was so mad.
On Monday I was one of the first ones in the classroom again. And when Matt came in and walked up to me I thought he was going to tell me something but he sat down next to me, that Made me smile.
"Hey," he said, getting his pens out of his bah. "Morning."
"If you want, I can pick you up in the morning, so your dad doesn't have to drive all the time." He said. "Thanks, Matt, I appreciate it, but I don't think that's a good idea." "Okay."
After math, we went our separate ways and made plans to meet in the cafeteria. When the time came and I entered the cafeteria I saw Matt, Amber and Nick sitting at our table with Chris.
I wanted to turn around and leave but it was too late Am had already seen me and came to me. She hooked me with one arm. "Don't mess with me Lori, it's just Chris." "I hate you Amber" I said.
He watched me as I came to the table and sat next to Amber, across from Nick. We kept silent and listened to the others talk. Our eyes kept crossing and I just wanted to leave.
Just sitting there and not being able to talk to him, not being able to touch him and not being able to kiss him was driving me crazy. When the bell rang, I immediately got up and went to my next class.
Matt and I had the same class again and he sat next to me again.
"That was weird right there." He said.
"I know."
"You guys should really talk."
"He won't hear anything from me."
"Yeah you say that all the time" he said and rolled his eyes.
He had no idea what had happened between us the day I left. He didn't know what I had said to Chris, how I had yelled at him and what he had blamed me for.
"Amber is coming to see us today, do you want to come?" he asked and I was about to say no, but he looked me deep in the eyes and said:
"And if you say no again because you don't want Chris to see you, then fuck you Lori. Not everything is about him, if you want to be friends with me and Nick you have to expect Chris to be closer to you, it's your decision".
He was right, it wasn't fair to Nick and him. I nodded and said,
"You're right, I'll come." ,,I can take you after school just like Amber."
,,Okay thanks, I'll just text my dad."
Dad🩵
Hey dad, I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to come get me
I'm going to the Sturniolos after school✌🏼
Okay, I'm happy for you. ☺️
Have fun and say hi to Mary-lou for me.
I'll🫶🏼
...
When I went to the car with Matt and Amber, Chris and Nick were already there. When Chris saw me he looked surprised. We all got into the minivan, Matt and Chris in the front, me next to Nick and amber sitting in the back. I talked to Nick and Matt and Amber, Chris stayed quiet and didn't say a word the whole way.
When we got there, he was the first to jump up and go into the house. I looked after him and Nick came up to me.
"Don't worry Lori. you have to deal with his presence, he has to deal with yours. We are friends with you."
I sighed. "I know, but all the time I think it's not fair to him."
"Things will be okay between you two."
"No, I don't think so."
When I entered the kitchen, Mary-lou saw me and she started to smile.
"Loureline, I'm so glad you're here, oh god you've gotten even prettier." She hugged me and I greeted her warmly.
"Thank you, I'm glad to see you too, my dad sends you his best regards"
"Oh, say thank you to him, how are he and your mother? Is everything okay?" she asked and I nodded. "Yes, everything is fine." I lied.
"That's nice, I'll let you go, otherwise I'll get in trouble from my boys." She said and gave me a warm smile. I nodded and followed Nick to his room.
"I love your mom." I said and closed the door. "Believe me, she loves you, you're like the daughter she never had." Matt said and I had to laugh.
...
Matt, Nick, Amber and I were watching a movie, talking about our teachers and how we could use another summer break. At some point I went to the bathroom.
When I came out of the bathroom, Chris was waiting before it. My body froze and his blue eyes looked at me. I got shivers. I thought maybe he needed to go to the bathroom, so I started to walk back to Nick's room.
"How long are you going to pretend that I don't exist?" I heard him say and he grabbed my arm.
I turned around, my eyes wandering from his hand holding my under arm to his eyes. His touch softened my legs.
"What?" I asked. Had he really just spoken to me?
"You heard me, Eline." My heart began to beat faster, this fucking nickname, no one had called me that for a long time. I was unable to speak, I couldn't handle the situation. I was not prepared for him to talk to me again.
He looked desperate. "Loureline." He whispered. He had never called me that. "Christopher."
We just stood there, looking at each other, the tension unbearable. No one spoke, but our eyes said enough.
"Are we going to stay silent like this forever?" he asked. I shook my head.
"LORI HOW LONG DO YOU NEED?" Matt yelled and came around the corner. We looked to him and chris let go of me.
Matt's eyes wandered back and forth, from me to chrs and back to me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt whatever you were doing." Says Matt and turned around and walked back.
"We need to talk." Said chris. "Not now, but soon" He added.
"I know."
"Let me take you home later." He said and I nodded, "Okay."
I walked back to Nick's room and when I walked in everyone looked at me with big eyes.
"What was that about?" Matt asked as soon as I closed the door.
"I don't know."
"What did he say?" Amber wanted to know.
"That we need to talk." I said and the others rejoiced.
"That's good, isn't it?" said Nick and smiled. "Soon we'll be able to have sleepovers together again and talk normally without anyone sitting still." Nick fantasized,
"Well, Nick, don't be long, we haven't talked yet, maybe it won't end well." I said.
"It will be fine, when do you want to talk?" asked Matt. "He's going to take me home later." "He's walking home with you? Like he used to?" squeaked Amber. I nodded.
...
Time passed and it was time to go home. I said goodbye to my friends, who wished me luck.
My heart was pounding when I knocked on Chris' door. "Yes?"
I opened the door, he looked down at his chair with his headphones on and a controller in his hand.
"I would go now." I said and he looked at me.
"I'll be right there" he said and threw his controller on his bed.
I went downstairs to put on my shoes and waited for him. He ran down the stairs and then put his cap on backwards. "Let's go." He said and held the door open for me.
We walked side by side for a while until I sighed. "Chris." He looked at me.
"I know it won't change anything that you're mad at me, but I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I know that we are in this situation is my fault and I want to apologize for it even if that will never be enough." He nodded.
"Maybe I just reacted the wrong way."
I shook my head. "I would have reacted the same way."
"You wouldn't have."
"What makes you so sure?"
"I know you. Well, I did. Not anymore."
"I'm still the same." I said. He shook his head, barely noticeable. And that hurt.
"Explain to me, why did I have to come to you so we could talk?" I looked at him, not knowing what to say.
2 years ago
"When were you going to tell me you were leaving?" Chris yelled at Lori.
"I was going to tell you, but there was no right moment. I wanted to enjoy the time with you. I wanted to make it easier for you."
"You didn't make anything easier, Eline."
"I wanted you to hate me when I left, so you wouldn't miss me and would be grateful I was gone."
"How could I ever hate you?"
"Christopher..."
"No, Eline, don't. And please don't ever talk to me again." He screamed and slammed the door to her room.
She sank to the floor, crying. That was the last conversation she had with him before she left. They left the very next day.
"I only did what you asked me to do." I said and I saw that he was struggling with himself to decide whether to be angry or not. He nodded.
" Is that why you didn't tell me you were leaving?" he asked and there was a hint of anger in his voice.
"No." I said.
"Then why?"
"I thought it would be better if you all hated me." But why?" he suddenly shouted and we stopped.
He continued: "Why did you make it more painful than it already was? You didn't do anyone any favors. Not me, not Matt and not nick. You had no idea how we were doing. I went to see you two days later. I wanted to try to work things out with you, to tell you that we could make it work. That no matter how far away you are, we'll manage to stay together."
Tears came to my eyes. "Chris..."
"No, I'm not done, Eline. Then you were just gone, leaving an empty house. We called you, we texted you, and nothing, absolutely nothing came from you. And then school started and it was like you were never there, I had nothing but the memories and the shirt of you at home. I was miserable, Matt was angry and Nick was just sad. You didn't make anything better."
"I didn't know that." I Said.
"Of course you didn't know, you weren't there. And you know what the worst thing is, just when I didn't have to think about you anymore, you show up again and make my life hell."
My heart broke into a thousand pieces at his words. My tears dripped on the ground.
"You don't have the right to cry, you are not the victim Eline" he said and turned around to leave.
Now I was the one who was angry. I overtook him and stood in front of him. He looked down at me angrily.
"I'm not a victim, you mean? Do you want me to tell you how it was for me? I lived here all my life and I was happy, I had you, your brothers, Amber. And then my mom comes to me and says we're moving away. A month before we leave. I did everything I could to stay here but she kept insisting on leaving, she was only thinking of herself. And I didn't know how to tell you. How do you tell the people you love the most that you're leaving them? And every time I wanted to tell you and the others we were so happy and I didn't want it to end. Then you found out and everyone hated me just because I wanted to be happy with you. You all stopped talking to me the whole last week I was there. So I decided it would be better. And maybe, maybe a little bit, I thought it would be easier for me. And then you came by on my last day and made it clear that you never wanted to hear from me again." I took a deep breath and continued talking. His look was still angry.
"And I couldn't. I could not have contact with your brothers and not with you. It broke my heart. And then I was in Austin with a mother who lost more and more interest in the family and a father who just let it happen. I was alone, had no friends, was the weird girl that nobody liked because i was too sad to meet other people . And now I come back and you drive me crazy, you're telling me I am the Monster in your Story, but it was my Mom. Now tell me again that I'm not the victim, Christopher."
I wiped my tears away and just left, I was so angry and I didn't want to see him anymore.