[OP] Randomly register an account. Posted on May 7, 2017, 20:49:18
Today I finally received the first offer from a school, I'm so happy!
I wanted to tell you all the first moment～
Finally, I have books to read, haha~(￣▽￣)~
Let's wait and see if there will be offers from other schools!
Any study-abroad experts here? Can you tell me what I should prepare in advance?
[1st Comment] Simba: Prepare money (¬_¬)
[2nd Comment] unbelievable丶: Depends on where you're going. In big cities, you don't need much preparation. If you're going to a remote area, take whatever you can, even instant noodles might be a luxury there (don't ask me how I know).
[3rd Comment] sharing: Congratulations Xiao Xi, congrats Xiao Xi!
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[OP] Randomly register an account. Posted on May 7, 2017, 12:29:36
During the Chinese New Year days, Pei Hao would come and sit in my residential area every day. When I got home, I would even hear neighbors discussing whether he had a mental problem.
Then, one day, my sister ran into him. She was puzzled, "Why haven't you cut ties completely?"
I smiled wryly, "He won't let go. What can I do... call the police to arrest him? Sitting in the community isn't illegal."
My sister rubbed her chin, looking thoughtful, "He comes every day?"
I scratched the back of my head, saying, "Not every day, about four or five days a week."
"Do you really not like him anymore?" my sister asked again.
I paused for a moment, nodded, unable to meet my sister's gaze.
"Ah, you're really suffering," my sister shook her head, sighed, "It's your business, just make sure you don't regret it."
Actually, there were a few times when I listened to the howling wind outside, watched shivering pedestrians pass by, and almost couldn't resist the urge to go downstairs. But memories always pulled me back, to the year my mom passed away. During that New Year, he didn't actively offer to spend time with me. It wasn't until I sent him a text begging him that he reluctantly came and "granted" me a few days.
Whenever I thought of these things, a chill would wash over me, extinguishing any spark of anger that had just ignited.
Don't say I'm always digging up the past, because these things have never left my mind.
On my birthday, I received an extra-large box. When I opened it, there were 25 neatly wrapped gift boxes inside (I turned 25 this year). No name left, but there was no need to guess, it was definitely sent by Pei Hao.
For the first time, I realized how stubborn he could be, relentlessly persistent, showing no sign of retreat.
When my sister and her husband came to my place and saw so many gift boxes, they were genuinely surprised.
"Who sent these?" my sister looked at me, smiling mischievously, "Is something going on?"
I lowered my head, sipped my tea, and said softly, "Sent by Pei Hao, the security guard accepted them directly."
My sister: "..."
My sister's husband suddenly interjected, "Why not reconsider? I think he's really putting in effort..."
My sister glared at him, and he fell silent.
With the addition of the gifts he had previously sent me, there was no more room in my home storage room (smiling.jpg). So, I packed up everything he had given me and sent it to Pei Hao's company.
After a few days, he sent more stuff over, like playing ping pong back and forth, several times.
Until I couldn't take it anymore and sent him a text: "Don't send me things anymore!"
Shipping fees are expensive, you know!
He replied: "Xiao Xi, you messaged me first (happy.jpg). If you don't like them, just throw them away. I won't take them back anyway."
So, those things are still sitting in my home storage room.
Before I leave for study abroad, I plan to donate everything to an orphanage or an elementary school in need.
Winter slowly passed, and when spring arrived, Pei Hao's appearances in my residential area decreased.
I thought it was good, he had finally grown tired, and I didn't have to bear such a heavy psychological burden.
Later, while chatting with Jing Ling, she mentioned that Pei Hao was competing with XX Company for resources during that time.
I heard XX Company was Jin Yu's company (crying-laughing.jpg).
I just hope they are only in business competition and not because of me.
However, considering Pei Hao's character, he wouldn't easily let Jin Yu go, especially if his father had anything to say about it.
I met his father once, on the day of our graduation ceremony. He wore a smart suit, standing sternly among the crowd, his expression serious. Clearly, he was a formidable figure.
At that time, I secretly worried for Pei Hao, thinking about how difficult it would be for him to come out. Later, I realized whether he came out or not had nothing to do with me. His beloved son had been brutally beaten to the point of broken bones; how could he easily forgive that person?
Unless he didn't know it was Jin Yu who did it.
I didn't interfere with this matter, and neither of them mentioned it to me, so I guess it's still okay?
[1st Comment] Yu Lei: Don't worry about whether they're right or not, it won't make a difference.
[2nd Comment] InnocentSign: I agree with the comment above. Xiao Xi, don't think that you're the one responsible for all this. You're the most innocent one here! You were mistreated by Pei Hao, flirted with by Jin Yu, and watered by Cheng Yi. They initiated these encounters, you have no reason to feel guilty!
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[22nd Comment] Username Load Failed: I actually want to say the same thing to your brother-in-law (cautiously.jpg).
[23rd Comment] nsdk2039: I still hold a grudge against Cheng Yi for forgiving you...
[24th Comment] Just register any account: I haven't forgiven him, I just don't detest him as much anymore.
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[OP] Randomly register an account. Posted on May 7, 2017, 22:07:54
It's been a while since I last came here. How's everyone doing?
Later, I received offers from two more schools, and I've already decided where to go. I'll be leaving next week (throwing confetti.jpg).
Sometime last week, Cheng Yi suddenly sent me a text, asking if he could apologize in person. To be honest, I still don't want to see him. Just thinking about him triggers fear in me.
I declined his request, and then he sent me a long message, apologizing.
Honestly, I didn't pay much attention. I'm about to leave this place, and I don't want to carry hatred with me. In my long life, he's not even worth remembering his name.
Moreover, compared to the harm he caused me, it's nothing compared to what Pei Hao did. I've even let go of Pei Hao, so I don't have the energy to bother about Cheng Yi.
I replied with a simple "yeah," and there was no response from him after that.
Recently, Jing Ling and Geng Han got married, and I envy them. They can openly accept everyone's blessings. I guess I won't ever get that little red book in my life~
Sometimes, I feel like gay people are like rats living in a hole, only daring to reveal our sexual orientation online with pseudonyms. In real life, we must be cautious everywhere. We can't even hold hands on the street, let alone reveal it at work, for fear of being reported one day.
I envy you straight people!
The day before yesterday was my mom's memorial day. My sister, brother-in-law, and I bought a large bouquet of flowers and brought some of my mom's favorite foods to pay our respects.
Unexpectedly, after we finished the ceremony, a person in a disheveled suit arrived, holding a large bouquet of white lilies.
Yes, it was Pei Hao.
My sister looked surprised, "Why are you here?"
Pei Hao politely nodded to my sister and brother-in-law, saying, "To pay respects to Auntie."
I didn't expect to see him here, or rather, I didn't expect him to remember my mom's memorial day.
My sister looked at me awkwardly, then took my brother-in-law's hand and said, "Let's go over there and give them some privacy."
After they left, Pei Hao remained silent.
He placed the flowers in front of the tombstone and bowed deeply to my mom.
Looking at the picture on the tombstone, I exclaimed, "You remembered."
"I remember," Pei Hao straightened up, his eyes dim, "your saddest day."
His leg had long healed, and that day he was dressed meticulously in black, his stubble cleanly shaved. He was still the sunny youth from when we first met.
A fleeting glance, as if worlds apart.
I realized that since we broke up, I never had a proper conversation with him. I always pushed him away, hurt him with a resistant attitude. Carrying so many emotions, I don't seem like someone who has truly moved on.
The weather was particularly nice that day, clear skies, a gentle breeze, occasionally carrying a hint of floral fragrance.
In front of my mom's grave, I wanted to bid him farewell on good terms.
Pei Hao had been looking at me all this time, his eyes shining. He self-mockingly said, "I thought I was early, didn't expect you to be even earlier."
Instead of responding to him, I turned to look at him and softly said, "Pei Hao, I'm leaving."
"Leaving?" Pei Hao's eyes flashed with surprise, and he incredulously asked, "Where are you going?"
"Do you think I would tell you?" I looked at him and smiled faintly, "To another place, to start anew."
"When are you leaving?" Pei Hao looked at me with a pained expression, as if I had just opened a wound in his heart.
I remained silent for a moment and said expressionlessly, "Soon."
"Can't you at least tell me where you're going?" Pei Hao reached out and brushed a strand of my hair, but the wind immediately blew it away. He looked nostalgic, with a bitter smile and a hint of pleading in his voice, "Let me check the weather forecast there when I miss you, or look at pictures of that city."
I chuckled. After all this time, don't you think I know what's on your mind? I gently patted his shoulder and sincerely advised him, "Let go, don't come looking for me anymore, forget about me."
"I can't," Pei Hao's brows furrowed deeply, he clenched his thin lips, and a hint of pain flickered in his downcast eyes. "You know I will find you."
I stared at him firmly and said resolutely, "Then I'll keep leaving until you give up."
His eyes were frosty and unyielding, his trembling hand tightly clenched as he muttered, "You really don't want to see me that much?"
"Yes."
I saw Pei Hao react as if he had been struck by something. His body trembled slightly. The light in his eyes dimmed, as if his soul had been taken away, and he stared blankly ahead.
"Lastly, thank you for visiting my mom." I turned away, waved my hand, and walked briskly into the distance.
My sister saw me coming, but her gaze remained fixed on the direction where Pei Hao had been. She whispered, "Did he cry?"
I glanced back and, against the backlight, saw Pei Hao covering his face with both hands, his body bent forward, the dark figure trembling uncontrollably.
I casually replied, "I don't know," and then looked away.
The wind suddenly picked up, blowing sand into my eyes, and unintentionally, my eyes reddened.
That night, I dreamt once again of the first time I met Pei Hao.
All because I had glanced at him a little longer in the crowd.
However, in just five hurried years, like a fleeting moment, we inevitably ended up parting ways.
What's the most painful thing in this world? It's probably a lifelong unattainable love;
What's the easiest thing in this world? It's probably that moment when you finally let go.
Pei Hao, goodbye. I won't see you again.
[1st Comment] AgentSign: This seems like the final farewell.
[2nd Comment] LongWen: My goodness, why do I want to go hug Pei Hao? (confused face)
[3rd Comment] Ah Uncle: Pei Hao, sigh
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[6th Comment] That Person That Flower That Dog: Congratulations, Xiao Xi, on starting a new life soon! Also, don't worry about not getting that little red book. In the future, you can get white or blue ones in other countries...
[7th Comment] KillCalculus: Yeah, Xiao Xi, be optimistic. Society is becoming more and more accepting of gays.
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[28th Comment] Carrie: Come here, let me hug you, our eyes won't turn red (pat on head.jpg)
[29th Comment] San: Xiao Xi, promise me, don't look for boyfriends in the trash heap anymore!
[30th Comment] BrotherZhong: Exactly, when you find the right person, remember to post about it on the forum, and we'll help you assess him.
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[37th Comment] Satan's Mango: Pei Hao is in despair.
[38th Comment] ForestScent: Pei Hao must be regretting like crazy, but there's no regret medicine.
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[45th Comment] Just Register Any Account: In the past six months, thank you all for understanding and comforting me. You are the little suns in my life, bowing to all the older and younger brothers and sisters!
(The end)