She's been visiting me daily since my surgery and today, I'm going to surprise her. With a boot on my foot and crutches under my arms, I'm mobile and I have the ability to surprise Maddie. I'm hesitant about not warning her in advance, thanks to the unresolved tension between us but I'm hopeful that she'll be happy to see me rather than feeling put out about my unplanned visit.
Inhaling the fresh air outside her apartment building, I feel like I haven't been outside in weeks rather than days. My finger hovers over the buzzer but I hesitate to press it. Leaning against the side of the building, I take deep breaths to calm my heart racing at the thought of seeing her, of her seeing me outside the hospital for the first time in too long.
My train of halt comes to a screeching halt at the sight of her, not coming out of her apartment, but walking toward the entrance from the road that leads to her gym. She doesn't see me at first, giving me the chance to take her in without caution.
She's got on a pair of black boxing shorts that barely flare out around her toned thighs, showing off the legs she's worked hard for. Her top is nothing but a tight black sports bra and her hair is back in a plait. The closer she gets, the more I can see the sheen of sweat on her tan skin, highlighted by the sun so she looks golden.
Her eyes are up, but unfocused, and it isn't until she's climbing the steps that she sees me, pausing one step below me with wide eyes. She takes me in the way I did her, but her eyes are filled with surprise at either the sight of me or the boot she lingers on.
"Looks like it's my lucky day," She says casually, joining me on the top step and reaching behind me. I tense at the feeling of her hand brushing my arm but she pulls it back gracefully and only when I hear the click of the door do I notice that she has a key fob in her hand. She opens the door and holds it for me, walking past me and to the lift once we get inside.
I don't know why I'm surprised at how easy this is, but we don't try to fill the silence with small talk, simply glancing over at each other and smiling as the lift climbs floors. "I just need a quick shower," She tells me when the doors open to her apartment.
I nod. "Take your time." Her couch is comfortable and I allow myself to relax slightly, inhaling the faint scent of whatever it is that makes Maddie smell the way she does, lounging with my foot up on the ottoman while I wait. If she misses the struggle it takes for me to sit down and get my leg up, all the better.
I hear the door open behind me and a glance over my shoulder reveals bare shoulders and legs disappearing behind her bedroom door without a backward glance from Maddie. I can feel my face heating up as a blush rises, starting at my chest and climbing to my neck and cheeks. My hand goes to the back of my neck and I close my eyes, doing nothing but waiting for Maddie to join me. When she does, she's dressed in a different pair of shorts, looser sweatshorts that peek out from underneath an oversized t-shirt.
"So what brings you here? Other than me," She smiles and I can't help but do the same as I watch her face as it nears me. She takes a seat on the section of the couch that partially faces me and her eyes don't stray from mine, not hesitant or shy about eye contact the way that I am.
"Just wanted to show off my boot. And I wasn't doing anything so—"
"Want to order food and watch something? I was going to do that anyway so you can join me."
"Oh, that's alright. I wasn't going to linger—"
She cuts me off again. "Why not? I like the company."
Not I'd like the company. I like the company. The distinction makes my heart pound. I nod. "Yeah, okay. You pick though," I insist.
Maddie rolls her beautiful silver eyes. "Sure." She brushes her wet hair behind her ear, and I watch it curl up at the ends as it dries. She has the television controller and scrolls through endless movies and shows, looking over to gauge my reactions every so often, but never voicing any opinions aloud.
She lingers over a tv show for a minute so I speak up, yawning. "Let's watch this one, I need a film that'll wake me up," I say and she smiles.
"Do you want coffee or anything?" She offers and I shrug.
"I wouldn't say no to tea, but I can make it myself," I say, shuffling in my spot to stand but she beats me to it, standing up and pushing me down with a hand on my chest. She's bent down to reach me and doesn't take her hand away immediately, only doing so when my eyes dart down to see it.
"I got it. It'll only take a minute and you don't know where anything is," She says.
"That's not true. I've been here before."
I'm turned, looking over the back of the couch and she looks up at me from where she stands behind the kitchen island. "I know, I was there," Her mouth stays neutral but I see the hint of memory or mischief or both in her eyes. Is she remembering the last time I was here? What I said? What she didn't? "You liked Indian right?" She interrupts my thoughts and I nod but it's a jerky movement.
"Yeah, I'll just get—"
"Same as last time? I remember," She says and my shoulders slump. Everything about her is contradictory. She's mean but she's also one of the most caring people I know. She doesn't seem to put in much effort, but I know she does well in school and she remembers things like my order at restaurants. She's all dark and broody, yet everyone around her is happier when she's there. How can I not love this girl? And what would it look like to be loved by her?
"Thanks," I mumble, turning back around unable to continue watching her in fear that she'll see my heart in my eyes. She returns with my tea not too long after I hear her on the phone ordering takeout and I take a sip from the cup only to find that she either remembered how I drink my tea or made an educated guess. "Cheers."
She sits back down, crossing her arms and looking at me like she's trying to figure me out, which is very unfortunate for me in my current situation. I want to ask what it is but I don't want to provoke any questions on her part. "When I was in Spain, my mother had me attend an event. A gala of sorts," She speaks up unprompted, but I listen emphatically.
"We don't get along, her and me."
"You didn't want to go," I say and she nods.
"Not really my type of event. Very showy."
"Not very Maddie," I say and she smiles.
"Not very me. Anyway, turns out it was a blind date of sorts," She says, glancing up to gauge my reaction but I don't have one, nodding along and listening intently. "It's normal to be betrothed from a young age in that world. It's expected that the oldest child would do something to contribute to the family. So Mateo was my...he was an option of sorts. For me." She looks worried about me, about my feelings but all I can think about are hers.
"You said was. Was an option. Do you not want that...?" I ask carefully and she furrows her eyebrows, almost angrily. Her fists are balled in her lap and she breathes through her nose before answering.
"Are you kidding? Do I seem like the type to sit and be married off—"
"That's not what I meant. You know me. I'm only asking to find out what you do want."
"Aaron. You. I want you. I told you I wanted to be your familiar face and I meant it. I want to be there for you. I didn't mean to..." She trails off and I wave my arm so that she'll move within arm's reach of me. She doesn't.
"Thank you for telling me," I say softly and she bites her lip, looking down. She's frustrated, but I'm not sure why. "Maddie, you don't need to say what you think I want to hear to make me happy. Just opening up like this means so much more," I tell her honestly, reaching for her hand again and this time she moves closer so that I can take it in mine.
"Thank you for coming here, to see me."
"I just came for the food," I say and she smiles, pushing my shoulder.
"I don't know how to say these things out loud," She says quietly and I pause.
"You don't have to. I can hear them in your actions."
"How?" She looks up at me and I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her in close to my side.
"You picked a tv show because they last longer and you didn't want me to leave after an hour and thirty. You remembered my order and guessed my tea."
"I actually saw you putting sugar and milk in your tea once in the diner. You were on your break..." She trails off and I can't help the massive grin that stretches my face.
"You gave me boxing lessons to help my injury and you became mates with Charlie. You bought a bike helmet for me and keep it with you in case we go somewhere together—"
"Alright. That's enough. I adore you, I get it," She grumbles at my soft smile.
"Don't worry about saying it. I see you," I tell her and she shifts to look up at me, still in my arms. Her expression is relaxed and yet somehow pained as well. She tilts her chin up slightly and moves a bit closer. Her eyes just barely fall closed and her lips are within centimeters of mine when the buzzer sounds, announcing the arrival of the food.
We don't jerk apart, but our eyes fly open and meet, our faces hovering so close with neither of us moving too close or widening the space between us. "I should get the food," She whispers and I nod. She doesn't get up right away.
"Maddie. Food."
"Yep!" She jumps up, putting her shoes on at the door. "Be right back," She says, back to being casual as if our proximity hadn't affected her in the slightest. I can tell by the look in her eyes moments ago that she was as flustered as I was at our almost kiss, and the thought makes me feel a little bit more secure and a whole lot more besotted.