You were walking down a dark and narrow alley.
A fog obscured what was on the other side.
But you knew what was on the other side.
The boys were waiting for you there.
Eager, you started running towards them.
But your legs seemed to be made out of lead.
As if being held back by an invisible force, your steps were slow and small, barely moving you forward.
You started to feel desperate and tried with all your might to run faster.
But you went even slower than if you would've been walking.
Just when you were about to scream in frustration, you could finally see them.
Dark figures at the end of the alley.
You cried out in joy and called to them, desperate to get their attention, but they didn't answer.
With all your might you forced yourself to push through and run to them in that weird, slow, pulled-back pace.
But when you finally reached them, they had their backs turned to you.
Something was wrong.
'Where's Channie?' you asked, noticing his absence immediately.
'You were supposed to get him,' Felix's voice spoke coldly, not facing you.
'What?' you spoke confused.
'Yeah, did you just leave him behind?' Jeongin added coldly, his back also turned to you.
'I didn't leave him!' you protested.
'Well, go and get him then,' Changbin ordered.
You walked around them, trying to see their faces, but they seemed to be obscured by a weird shadow, making their features undefined and gray.
'Where's Channie?' you repeated again, starting to feel even more anxious.
'Pff, why? You really think he wants you to know?' Seungmin grumbled.
'Yeah, who do you think you are, hm?' Hyunjin spoke annoyed.
Tears of pain and frustration welled up in your eyes.
They seemed to have forgotten about you.
But surely Chan would know you. He would remember you.
He would make everything alright.
'Where is Chan?' You screamed at them.
But they just laughed at you and turned their backs to you again, leaving you in the mist.
'No! Come back! Where's Chan? Where's Channie?' you screamed and cried as you ran after them, but still your lead-like legs couldn't keep up.
Suddenly, something grabbed you from behind. You struggled as you waved your arms around in fear.
'It's okay. It's okay,' a voice spoke. 'It was only a dream.'
Panting you opened your eyes, the room dark. Your face was wet with tears and your heart was beating as if you had been running.
'Shhh, baby I'm here,' Felix's voice whispered in your ear as he pressed you against his body, his arms wrapping around you. 'I'm here, it was only a dream. Just another nightmare. You're safe now. You're with me.' His low voice whispered to you calmingly, helping you find your breath again. Your heartbeat slowed down again and you noticed your crying had stopped..
'Lixie,' you spoke his name with a tiny voice, turning around to see him. His brown eyes were soft. The freckles on his cheeks like stars in the sky. His pink lips smiling at you.
It had been ages since you had last had a nightmare. Back then too, Felix had always been the one to wake you up and pull you out of it. Now you knew why.
'Did you sense it?' you whispered to him, as you cuddled into his arms. Felix hummed, confirming.
'Humans are not far from animals,' he spoke softly. There were a million more questions you wanted to ask him about this, but exhaustion overwhelmed you. 'It was just a nightmare my love. Sleep now. I'm here. I'll protect you,' he assured you, stroking the back of your head softly. You nodded as you buried your nose in the crook of his neck, taking in his comforting scent before slipping back into a dreamless slumber.
'Y/n?' Han's voice sounded. You gave a start and looked up at him. He clicked his tongue slightly annoyed, then chuckled and shook his head. 'Where's your head at, my love?' he smiled, his eyes soft.
'Oh sorry!' you babbled, straightening your back in the seat of the car. 'I guess I just dozed off a bit,' you said truthfully, quickly blinking your eyes a few times to wake yourself up. 'What were you saying?' you asked, trying to focus on him.
'I was just saying,' Han began laughing, 'that we're here, look,' he said pointing out the window. You turned to look. Outside the window, you could see the university building, the sun rising up casting long shadows over the trees as it was still early.
'Oh, right,' you nodded. Ever since you had woken up, the dream had bugged you. It had been a long time since you last had a nightmare. Usually, they had been trivial and stupid, like failing an exam or getting laughed at at school. But this was the first bad dream you have had since you became a Goddess...
And it bugged you.
You couldn't let go of the scary feeling that it might mean something. That it was a metaphor, or your inner goddess trying to tell you something.
Chewing on your lip, you got out of the car, hoisting your bag mindlessly over your shoulder as you stumbled your way up the driveway towards the school building. You only vaguely heard Han's voice talking to you as you hummed mindlessly as if you were listening to him.
Barely halfway up the path you were suddenly grabbed by your shoulder and spun around.
'Hey!' you protested automatically, but you were immediately shut up when a pair of soft lips pressed themselves onto yours.
Your bag slid off your shoulder and dropped onto the ground. Han hissed and pulled back. You looked down. The bag had dropped on his foot.
'What was that for?' you hissed, eyebrows raised as you looked around to see if anyone was there, but unable to contain your grin.
'Well, since I wasn't getting any attention from you...' Han chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.
'But what if anyone sees?' you whispered, trying to hold back a giggle.
'What? This?' He said cheekily, as he took your face into his hands and kissed you once more. This time, he did have your full attention. Feeling like a warm, soft blanket was being laid over your heart, you kissed him back softly.
The distant sound of a car alerted you and made you pull back.
'Look at me,' he said, your eyes filled with panic as you searched your surroundings but they instantly went back to his face. 'There she is,' he said softly. His bright green eyes seemed to light up in the golden morning sun. 'I'd rather get caught with you and lose my job than not be able to kiss you when I want to,' he said with a chuckle.
'And what about my reputation?' you said defiantly but teasingly.
'Pfft, reputation?' Han mocked, squeezing your cheeks. 'Everyone knows you're a lost cause already. That's how you got the job as our Goddess. Goddess of the lost ones.'
You playfully growled at him and he chuckled.
'You back from fantasy land now?' he asked, a little more serious. You nodded shortly, smiling at him. He cupped your cheek for a moment, his thumb going over it, stroking your face. Everything was insignificant now. Just being here with him, that was what mattered. You'd worry over that dream another time.
Han's kiss had done well in distracting you. For a few hours at least. But by the time lunch break was nearing, the memory of the dream was starting to creep back into your mind, making you feel slightly anxious once more. Although you knew you could use the excuse to see Han again during break, an alluring idea as you thought back on this morning, you knew it would only put off the thought for a while again instead of fixing the underlying issue.
Instead, you decided to search for a more permanent solution to your worries.
'Hey girl, what's up?' Lady's voice sounded over the phone.
'Hey,' you responded breathlessly, pressing the phone harder to your ear for no reason and looking around the deserted corridor that you were standing in.
'Oh dear, what's wrong?' Lady spoke worriedly, apparently already recognizing the anxiety in your voice just by one word.
'Nothing. Well. I'm so sorry to bother you during work,' you began.
'Hey, don't worry about it. I'm here for you, always. Now tell me what's up,' Lady assured you, pressing on.
'It's just,' you began again, 'I had this dream last night... well maybe it was more like a nightmare,' you tried to explain.
'What kind of nightmare?' Lady asked sharply.
'It was really weird and vague, but the guys,' you continued in a softer voice, 'they all laughed at me and they didn't seem to recognize me at all. They were telling me it was my fault, that I-,' your voice broke and you couldn't speak on, clenching your jaw and swallowing hard. The awful feelings of the nightmare suddenly came rushing back to you, overwhelming your emotions.
'And you're thinking this had something to do with your Goddess,' Lady spoke. It was more a statement than a question.
'Yes,' you answered in an uneasy voice. 'It's the first nightmare I've had since...' you spoke, not sure how to explain, but Lady seemed to understand as she spoke again.
'I understand,' her voice sounded focused and matter of fact. 'Tell me, did you see their light?' she asked quickly. You frowned thinking back, trying to see the images of the nightmare again.
'No, no I don't think so,' you answered slowly.
'And did you see their faces?' Lady inquired. You thought hard.
'No, they were vague I think, but they had their backs turned to me most of the time,' you said thoughtfully.
'Right, and what about the colors? Were they bright or dim or in a particular hue?' Lady asked.
'Erm,' you began, rubbing your temples as you thought. 'I think they were dim? Somewhat grayish,' you stated.
'Well, sounds like a plain old human nightmare to me then,' Lady said self-assuredly.
'Really?' you asked, feeling incredulous but also relieved.
'Yeah, to be honest, not seeing their light is the biggest giveaway, but since our human part is only half there when our Goddess emerges, our dreams and nightmares get a little more vague. Often colors are dim or a particular hue, and there will be pieces missing, like faces or sounds,' Lady explained. You let out a sigh of relief. 'I wouldn't worry about it anymore,' Lady continued, 'I mean, we are Goddesses but we are also half human, and that part can fuck with your brain more than your divine part, trust me.'
'Thank you so much,' you said with relief, putting a hand on your chest, feeling as if a weight had been lifted.
'Always happy to help a fellow Goddess,' Lady said with a posh voice but continuing normally. 'I gotta run now though, my manager has been giving me the death stare for the past few minutes and I'd like her to not try and murder me today.'
'Oh dear, good luck then, and thanks again for your advice!' you spoke quickly.
'Cheers!' Lady said before hanging up.
'Let me guess,' a familiar voice came from behind you. You turned around to see Sera smiling at you. 'Advice on boys?' she winked.
'Sera,' you spoke her name, feeling slightly caught off guard. She leaned back against the wall, folding her arms and looking at you with curiosity as she blew a bubble with her gum.
'Erm, well, kind of,' you said, shrugging and feeling yourself blush slightly, although you weren't sure why. 'But what makes you think that?'
'Well, my moms always say I got some sort of nose for this stuff,' she said smartly, tapping the side of her pierced nose. 'But, I think it's just because I'm a little more observant than most,' she said with a sparkle in her eyes that piqued your curiosity.
'Meaning...?' you inquired, curious as to what she thought she would've seen, but feeling a hint of anxiety as well. Sera didn't answer instantly. She straightened her back and put her weight back on her feet, unfolding her arms and looking at you thoughtfully but friendly.
'Well,' she began slowly, 'this morning I-'
'THERE YOU GUYS ARE,' Adam's voice thundered from behind, startling both you and Sera so much that it made the both of you jump. He came rushing over to the two of you, and you noticed he was slightly out of breath. Clearly, he had been running.
'What's the matter?' Sera asked, startled.
'They-' Adam began, cutting himself off as he started to cough for a moment. 'They are selling ice cream cakes at the cafeteria right now,' he huffed.
'And you didn't call us?' Sera said indignantly, checking her watch for the time.
'Your phone's off and I couldn't reach y/n either,' Adam breathed heavily, looking at the both of you seriously as if it was a matter of life or death.
'Well, what are we waiting for?' Sera spoke urgently, 'Let's run for it then!' She had barely spoken the words before she sprinted away, the sound of her laughter echoing through the hallway.
'Wait for me!' you laughed, quickly sprinting after her, followed by an already worn-out Adam.
'Last one there has to pay!' Sera called over her shoulder.
The three of you sat in silence for a while as you all ate your ice cream cakes. You had just managed to get the last few, selling out fast as usual. You enjoyed your cake as you watched Sera and Adam curiously. Adam didn't protest when Sera made him pay for the cakes when he had arrived last, having already been out of breath from running to find the two of you.
'So erm,' you began, unable to hold back your curiosity, 'are you guys...' you didn't finish your sentence hoping they would fill in the gap for you.
'Well,' Sera began clicking her tongue and looking at Adam with a stern face. Adam was suddenly very concentrated on his ice cream cake which he ate surprisingly slowly. 'I've decided I'll simply keep calling him my boyfriend until he gives in,' she stated matter of factly. You couldn't help but let out a snort and a giggle while Adam started coughing, seeming to choke on his cake.
'Sounds like a solid plan,' you laughed looking from Adam, who was still coughing, to Sera, who was now patting him fiercely on the back as if she had done this a thousand times before.
'I know what I like and I always get what I want,' Sera said, batting her eyelashes and flicking her hair out of her face coolly, deciding to ignore Adam's persistent coughing.
'Are you sure though?' You teased, trying not to sound judgemental while still stating your concerns. 'I mean I've known this rascal for a while and he's... something,' you decided.
Sera was one of those girls who was clearly great at picking up hints, both verbal and nonverbal. You could see the understanding in her eyes, the knowing of what you were trying to say and that you meant no judgment.
'Pfft, dating is boring. I like to claim the things I like before they're gone, you know?,' she spoke sassily. She gave Adam, who had finally stopped coughing, a sideward glance. The effect of it was immediate. He seemed to be almost captivated by her, his movements freezing mid air as he noticed her looking. 'Besides, I think we've gotten to know each other quite well over the last weekend, haven't we?' She spoke suggestively towards Adam. His cheeks instantly pinkened as his gaze was held by her for just a little longer and you remembered how you had heard her voice on the phone that following morning after the party. Adam quickly turned to you, clearing his throat and blinking as if he was looking into bright daylight now that Sera's spell seemed to have broken.
'Erm, so how's your love life then?,' he said in a weak attempt to change the subject and get the attention away from himself and Sera.
'Erm,' you began, feeling that this time, it was your turn for your cheeks to brighten up. You had no idea how to explain any of it to them right now, or even if you could. You could see Sera's eyes snapping back to you, seeing her register the panicked look in your eyes.
She clicked her tongue dismissively, leaning across the table and sliding Adam's half-eaten ice cream cake towards herself. 'Clearly, I have to teach my boyfriend some manners,' she stated, not looking at you. Adam looked up at her frowning questioningly. 'Don't you know you don't ask a girl about her relationship status?' She said knowingly as she dug into his ice cream cake.
'Didn't y/n just do that with you?' He asked incredulously. Sera rolled her eyes and took an extra big scoop from Adam's cake.
'Girls can ask girls, but boys can't ask girls,' she said knowingly, licking the icing from her fork. You couldn't help but smile at her.
'Excuse me? What is this...some kind of weird eighth-grader rule?' Adam said indignantly, folding his arms across his chest as he looked at her frowning. But you could see the look in his eyes and you knew he wasn't mad.
'Ugh, this is why I'm your girlfriend now. See, you need me for this kind of stuff. Don't worry y/n, I'll raise him right from now on,' she teased, pointing her fork from Adam to you. You chuckled.
'Who said I'll let you do anything?' Adam spoke defiantly, but the corners of his mouth were curled up.
'Don't worry darling,' she said with a wink to him, and patting him patronizingly on his arm, 'you won't get rid of me that easily.'
Adam scoffed but said no more, chewing his cheeks. But you knew he was doing his best not to laugh. You were thankful for Sera recognizing that you weren't ready to talk about your relationships with boys, if you ever would be. As you watched Adam watch Sera eat his ice cream cake with a fake sulking frown, you wondered whether he had eaten his cake slowly on purpose.
Ever since that break with the ice cream cake, Sera stuck around. You didn't mind her presence at all. On the contrary, you preferred her being there. You hadn't noticed it before, but the fact that you knew Adam had liked you always made you feel a tad awkward with him. But now with Sera there, that feeling had gone completely. It was clear he was falling hard for her, but for some reason, you didn't understand, he was playing coy. Sera on the other hand didn't seem to mind his charade at all and seemed to know just as well as you that he wasn't as disinterested as he pretended to be. Besides her cheerful and playful demeanor and her impeccable skill of picking up non-verbal hints, she was simply a nice person to have around. Even in the moments where she would be clinging to Adam's arm, you wouldn't feel excluded. Besides, it was nice to have a proper female friend and it soon felt like you had known her for years.
W R I T E R S N O T E
Hi peeps,
Sorry for the super slow and inconsistent updates. My life has become busier lately which makes writing hard. The story will continue until it's finished, so don't worry, I won't abandon it. The updates will probably just remain slow and inconsistent for a while. I hope it will get better, but I can't make any promises.
Love you all so much and am so thankful for all your love, votes, and comments. I still try and read every single one of them <3 Without you all, I would've never had the motivation to continue. Thank you <3
Lots of of love
Dolly