Imee's POV
It's a new day and katatapos lang ng duty ko. Wala pa akong tulog but Mommy Emilia inform me na inihatid na daw sa bahay namin ang wedding gown ko kasama ang suit ni Rod.
Honestly, I wanna lay down and sleep pero hindi ko magawa coz a lot of questions coming into my mind. Like, what if kailangan pa ng adjustments sa dress ko or what if my flaws na hindi nakita? Hayst! I really need to go there and check it out.
I quickly took a bath and wear something simple. When I face the mirror, I notice that I look pale and worn out so I've decided to put a little make up to hide it. Minutes had pass, my phone ring and as I check it, it's Mommy Maddison.
*On call
Imee: Hi, mom. Good morning (press the speaker phone and continue putting make up on her face)
Maddison: Good morning, anak. Anyway, dumating na nga pala yung mga damit namin and as expected it's perfect, exact fits and no flaws.
Imee: Good to know, Mom.
Maddison: What about you? Dumating na ba?
Imee: Yes, Mom. Actually gumagayak nga po ako ngayon eh coz I wanna see it na.
Maddison: Gumagayak? B-bakit?
Imee: Hindi kasi dito naipadala, Mom.
Maddison: Saan?
Imee: Sa bahay po namin.
Maddison: Oh okay.
Imee: Ahuh!
Maddison: Ahm, you guys take care ha? Inform me if there's anything you'd like to change 'bout your wedding para masabihan natin agad ang mga organizers.
Imee: Noted, Attorney (chuckled)
Maddison: Funny huh! Ikaw talaga...Oh siya, I need to end this na, anak. I have hearing pa kasi eh.
Imee: Good luck, mommy.
Maddison: Thanks! You guys eat breakfast muna bago umalis ha? I know you, baka mamaya hindi ka na naman kumain.
Imee: Opo, Doc! (Then smile)
Maddison: Okay. Bye, anak.
When Mom ended the call, sakto namang katatapos ko lang ayusan ang sarili ko. Hayst! Good thing they create make up talaga. Such a life saver HAHAH. While drying my hair, there's a notification popped up on my phone screen so I put down the hair dryer and check it.
From Rod:
Good morning, love.
Are you home? You sleep ha? Magpahinga ka. Ilang araw kang puyat eh.
See you soon😊
As I read his message, I've decided to call him nalang instead of replying. Nakakatamad mag-type eh.
*FaceTime
Rod: Hi, love (then smile)
Honestly, agad kumunot ang noo ko coz it seems like nasa hospital pa siya. But after a second, I put down my phone (but I assure na nakikita niya pa din ako) and start curling my hair.
Rod: Saan ang lakad mo, love? Diba sabi ko magpahinga ka muna? Come on, change your clothes and sleep.
Imee: I can't.
Rod: Why?
Imee: Dahil kailangan kong pumunta sa bahay natin, love.
Rod: Why?
Imee: Clueless lang? (Look at her phone screen)
Rod: I'm serious, love. Bakit nga?
Imee: K fine! (Rolled her eyes) I need to check my dress and your suit as well.
Rod: Oh okay (nodded) Sinong kasama mo? Isama mo nalang kaya si Manang para hindi ka mag-isa.
Imee: Bakit kailangang si Manang pa, Rod? Hindi ka ba pwede? Hindi mo ba ako sasamahan?
Rod: Love, alam mo namang kailangan ako ni Steffie dito sa hospital diba?
When Rod tell those words, pinagpatuloy ko nalang ang pag-aayos sa buhok ko. Hindi nalang ako nagsalita pa dahil baka kung sino na namang makarinig. Malay ko ba kung katabi niya si Mrs. Alvarez. Tsk! Baka masabihan na naman akong selfish eh.
Rod: Please love wag ngayon. Try to understand, hmm?.....Ganito nalang, what if next week mo nalang tignan para masamahan kita.
Imee: Next week?! (Frown)
Rod: Y-yes, love —
I didn't finish Rod, I just ended the call coz to be honest I'm getting pissed. Nakakainis eh. Feeling ko tuloy ako nalang ang interesado sa kasal na'to.
While eating breakfast, he keep on calling pero hindi ko ito pinapansin. Minutes had pass, Manang speak up.
Manang: Kanina pa yan, nak. Hindi mo ba sasagutin?
Imee: Ahm, wag niyo na po akong hintayin mamaya Manang ha? Sa labas nalang po ako kakain ng lunch.
Manang: Hindi mo sinasagot ang tanong ko, anak. May problema ba? Okay lang ba kayo ni Rod?
Imee: O-Oo naman po, Manang (fake smile)
Manang: Kung ganon, eh bakit hindi mo sinasagot ang tawag niya?
Imee: Ah eh—Eh kasi Manang kumakain po ako eh. I'll call him nalang po as soon as I finish this.
Manang nodded as reply. I hope hindi niya napansin na nagsinungaling ako. Hayst! Ayoko kasing malaman pa niya kung ano mang problema namin ni Rod ngayon.
As I went back to my room, I immediately choose a small bag wherein kasya ang phone and cards ko. Ayoko kasing magdala ng napakalaking bag. Uuwi din naman ako agad eh.
While tying my shoelace, my phone vibrates.
From Rod:
I'm really sorry, love. Steffie needs me right now.
As I read his message, agad akong napaupo sa kama. "Steffie needs you? Paano ako? Hindi ba kita kailangan ngayon, Rod? (In her mind)".
From Rod:
What if bukas nalang, love? Sasamahan kita. Uuwi nalang ako mamayang gabi.
"Nalang? Oh bakit parang napipilitan ka pa? (In her mind)". Honestly, nainis ulit ako. Iniintindi ko naman siya eh pero ewan ko ba!
From Rod:
Please reply, love.
That made me rolled my eyes so I sigh and decided to reply na.
To Rod:
Wag na.
Ako nalang ang pupunta.
✅Message Sent.
Seconds had pass, my phone ring. This time wala na akong nagawa pa kundi sagutin ito. Well, it's FaceTime but I turned off my camera.
*FaceTime
Rod: Lizzy naman — (didn't continue his words coz Imee speak up)
Imee: Sabihin mo na kung anong gusto mong sabihin, Rod. Nagmamadali ako. Kailangan ko nang umalis.
Rod: Bukas na kasi, love. Uuwi ako, promise!
Imee: Nabasa mo naman siguro yung message ko diba? Wag na nga. Kaya ko naman eh. Kung ayaw mo akong samahan ngayon, edi wag. Bantayan mo nalang si Steffie baka kasi duguin ulit.
I ended the call right away. Hindi ko na ulit hinintay na magsalita pa siya dahil kahit ano pang sabihin niya, in the end hindi naman niya ako sasamahan eh. Nagsasayang lang ako ng oras.
I reach our home nearly lunch na so I've decided to buy foods before heading here. Para pagdating ko, kakain na agad then check my gown and of course, suit na din ni Rod.
As I enter our room (masters bedroom), I immediately saw the boxes which made me smile. Jezzz! Ang tagal kong hinintay nito eh and finally maisusukat ko na din.
Nang malapitan ko ang mga kahon, I immediately identify my gown. Why? Coz there's a photo on it.
(Lizzy's WD and Roderick's Suit)
Nang maisuot ko ito, I immediately open my wedding stilettos as well and head to our closet. While looking at myself through the mirror, I can say that it's already perfect. Wala ng kailangang ayusin pa. Good thing I had diet din dahil kung hindi, hindi na siguro magkakasiya pa ang gown na'to.
Minutes had pass, I become emotional. Like, is this for real? Parang kelan lang kasi man hater ako. I even imagine myself na tatandang dalaga eh. Pero wala, dumating si Roderick eh.
Mommy Maddison, Mommy Emilia and I had FaceTime coz they wanna see the gown on me. Jusko! Halos sumakit ang ulo ko sa dalawang nanay ko dahil kung ano-anong napapansin. Akala mo naman nakikita nila ng personal ang gown eh. Hayst! Pero honestly, kahit perfectionist ang dalawang yun, I don't feel alone.
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I woke up around 3pm. I've decided to sleep muna dahil mukhang hindi ko kakayanin ang magmaneho ng isang oras eh. Besides bumibigay na din ang katawan ko. Gusto na talagang humiga at matulog eh.
I had a quick bath and wore plain white shirt nalang. In fact, damit ni Rod yun. Ayoko kasi yung mga damit ko dito. Masyadong pormal lahat. Buti sana kung may dadaanan pa ako eh kaso wala kaya white shirt nalang.
As I went downstairs, I was shock dahil sakto naman ang pagpasok ni Rod sa bahay. I admit, hanggang ngayon inis pa din talaga ako sa kanya.
Imee: You're too early for tomorrow.
He was about to kiss me but I refuse. I step back and head to the kitchen. Did he follow me? No, kaya mas lalo akong nainis.
In order to calm myself, I drink a cold water then after a couple of minutes, bumalik na ako sa living room. I was about to grab my car key but he hold my hand.
Imee: What?
Rod: Let's check our — (didn't finish his words coz Imee speak up)
Imee: Tapos na. Nagawa ko na. Pwede ka ng umalis ulit.
Rod: Lizzy, please stop this. Love naman nandito na nga ako eh.
Imee: Yah, you're right. Nandito ka na. You're standing infront of me pero alam mo Rod, huli ka na.
As I tell those words, agad kong kinalas ang pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko and grab my car key. Sa totoo lang ang dami kong gustong sabihin sa kanya. Lahat ng rants at nararamdaman ko, gusto kong malaman niya pero dibale na. I'll just keep it to myself dahil kagaya nga ng sinabi ko noon, dapat marunong siyang makiramdam.
Imee: Tutal nandito ka na din naman, you better check your suit. Nasa kwarto na natin. Para if ever masikip or maluwag pa sayo, pwede pang maibalik for adjustments.
I look directly into his eyes and when there's no words coming from him, I sigh deeply and nodded.
Imee: I'll go ahead (walk away)
Habang naglalakad ako palayo sa kanya, narinig kong parang napamura siya so I stop and turn back.
Rod: Kadarating ko lang, Lizzy. Aalis ka na agad? Ayaw mo bang mag-stay muna? (Said that in a serious tone of voice)
Imee: What for?
Rod: For me.
Imee: Wag na (sigh)....Iiwan mo lang naman ako ulit eh.
As I tell those words, his facial expression changed. Agad siyang naawa sa akin eh so he walk towards me and hold my hand again. Habang ako naman umiwas lang sa mga tingin niya.
Rod: Love, please wag ka ng magtampo. Alam mo namang ginagawa ko lang 'to para sa bata diba?
Imee: Alam ko naman yun and I completely understand, Rod (look at Roderick). Pero sana naman unahin mo din ako sa mga gantong bagay. Baka nakakalimutan mo ikakasal na tayo.....Wag mo naman iparamdam sa akin na ako nalang ang interasado sa kasal na'to (control herself not to cry)
After telling those words, he let go of my hand. Honestly, I didn't expect that. Nagulat nga ako eh coz I was expecting him to hug me and say sorry but he didn't.
Rod: So what are you trying to say, Lizzy?
Imee: Bigyan mo din ako ng oras. Yun lang Roderick, yun lang.
Rod: You don't have to ask. Kilala mo naman ako diba? Palagi kitang binibigyan ng oras.
Imee: Binibigyan ng oras? Bakit hindi ko ramdam?
Rod: (sigh) Lizzy please wag ngayon. I'm tired at ang importante naman nandito na ako kaya tara na. Let's go upstairs and check our clothes.
When Roderick turn back, napabuntong hininga nalang ako. Naglalakad na din siya palayo habang ako I remain standing and didn't follow him. By the time he took the stairs, napansin niyang hindi ako sumusunod.
Rod: Okay! Kung gusto mo nang umuwi, umuwi ka na. Tsk! Nakakapagod ka nang suyuin (shook his head then sit on the couch) You don't know what I went through just to be here tapos ganto lang dadatnan ko? Ni hindi mo nga muna ako kinamusta eh.
Imee: Bakit ako ba kinamusta mo? Hindi din naman diba?
Rod: Ah ganon? (nodded) Okay. Ako pa din pala dapat ang mauna. T***~***! Wala man lang pagkukusa.
When Rod look at me, kita ko sa mga mata niyang galit siya.
Rod: Kung pwede ko lang hatiin ang katawan ko, gagawin ko, Lizzy. Sa tingin mo ba ginusto kong makasama yung babaeng yun kesa sayo? Hindi! But I need to do it for my child......For our child!
I remain silent basta pinakinggan ko nalang siya. But when I hear the last sentence, kusa nang tumulo ang mga luha ko. "OUR"?! Really?!
Rod: Kung alam mo lang, sobrang dami kong problema ngayon, Lizzy. Patong-patong na! Yung mga trabaho ko napapabayaan ko na. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano pa ako haharap sa mga clients ko eh. A-and the baby is not in a good condition. Maselan ang pagbubuntis ni Steffie. Takot akong mawalan ng anak that's why I'm asking for your patience. Intindihin mo din sana ako pero wala (shook his head) Instead of cheering me up and tell that everything will be okay, nagagalit ka pa sa akin.
Imee: Okay...I'm sorry (nearly whispered)
Rod: Ako naman kahit ngayon lang. I hate to say this pero love, stop being so selfish.
That sucks! Okay lang sa akin na tingin ng iba eh selfish ako pero bakit naman pati siya? I admit, I am selfish but that was before! Dati na yun. I've changed.
Rod: Palagi nalang sarili mo ang iniisip mo. You always like "Paano naman ako?". Please understand na iba na ang sitwasyon ngayon. Aware ka naman diba? Puro ka reklamo. Pwede bang intindihin mo nalang?
Imee: Why does everyone think that I am selfish? Even you! Hindi mo alam kung anong tinitiis ko just to keep our relationship.... Nahihirapan ako but I choose to stay!
Rod: Hindi lang naman ikaw ang nahihirapan eh. We're both suffering here, Lizzy. Tsaka bakit ba tayo humantong sa ganito? Hindi ba't kasalanan mo din naman?!
Imee: S-so it's my fault now?
Rod: Kung sana binibigyan mo lang ako ng oras, hindi mangyayari ang lahat ng 'to. Walang Steffie, walang bata! Masaya sana tayo ngayon.
I was too stunned to speak coz those words really hit me. Iba pala talaga kapag siya na mismo ang nanisi sa akin. I know nawalan ako ng oras sa kanya noon pero trabaho naman yun. Para sa amin yun. To be honest, I wanna walk towards him and slap his face so hard pero hindi ko magawa kasi agad akong nanghina.
Rod: Lintik na trabaho yan!....I needed you that day pero ano? Trabaho pa din ang inuna mo (his voice cracked) And now you're telling me all your rants na ikaw mismo ang may kasalanan? Come on, Lizzy. Be mature enough.
Imee: So all this time ako pala ang sinisisi mo?
Rod: Kung hindi ikaw? Sino ba dapat? Tsaka if only you let me answer that phone, edi sana napuntahan ko agad si Steffie. Wala sana tayong problema ngayon.
Imee: Eh hindi ko naman sinabing wag mong sagutin eh.
Rod: Hindi mo nga sinabi pero ramdam ko. Hindi naman ako manhid eh.....You know what, maybe Mrs. Alvarez is right (look at Lizzy seriously and stood up) This is all your fault!
As Rod tell those words, he grab his car keys and went out of our house. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa din ako makapaniwala sa mga sinabi niya. He's blaming me kung bakit kami napunta sa gantong sitwasyon na'to. Oh god! Please give me a sign kung dapat pa akong manatili.
"Dad, your princes is in pain again. Should I let go? Please naman magparamdam ka sakin oh. I-I need you."
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