It didn't take much to decipher and digest Seth's story; particularly since there were so many gaps and flaws.
Seth told us that after he accidentally hit me, he took me to the hospital and took care of me until I got better. Because of what happened, I went back to my hometown and lived with my dad. That's how Seth got to know my house.
The story was too brief and too ideal to be true. I know, by that point in my future, I lost all hope in myself, but did I lose that much spirit to the point where I'd agree to whatever Seth recommended without a fight?
Knowing me, probably not.
He's hiding something else.
Such as, why was he there in front of the building where I was?
Coincidence?
Only a dumbass would think that.
"Wow, it must be fate," Trevon said. I did a double take towards him. "I mean, what are the chances this happens to you two and bang you're both back together."
Did I eat Trevon's brain while we were in the womb?
If not, how is he so brainless?
I need some medications for this headache.
"So, let me get this straight-" Trevon continues, "you sacrifice the rest of your life for that girl over there."
I swallowed the two pills and prayed it was enough to end my suffering.
"I wouldn't say it like that," Seth said. "We became good...friends."
Trevon pat Seth's shoulder, "You're a strong one." The phone rings and Trevon leaps out of the chair, "It's Mina. I got to go." He dashes out of the room.
"So-" I place the half-full cup on the counter, "When are you gonna tell him you were there for pregnant Mina?"
Seth crossed his arms and leaned back, "I told you. It's not Luke's kid."
I leap onto the counter, "And I couldn't care less. If you're gonna tell a story, why not tell the whole thing."
"And crush the fragile boy's heart? I'm not as skilled as you."
I exhaled a deep breath and folded my arms, "Fine. Who's kid is it if it's not Luke?"
Seth pucker his lips for a moment before he said: "I don't know." He grabbed the tea, "Mina was in a bad place at the time and she slept with some guy. She doesn't know who he is."
"Did Luke know?"
Seth was quiet for a moment before he said: "Yeah."
I wish I held back the scoff, but I couldn't.
"I don't know if you should know."
"God, another bomb." I got off the counter and walked towards the wine cabinet. I placed in the combination and took out a bottle and two glasses.
"What are you doing?"
"Hoping this is enough to give me alcohol poisoning so I don't have to remember this." I opened the bottle and poured it into the glass cup. "Want one?"
Seth hang his head back before he said: "Fuck this. Hand me one."
After I filled both glasses, I handed him one. The alcohol quench my thirst, "Okay. What about Luke? Go."
"You sure?"
"Won't stop me from drinking."
"Luke knew how miserable you were married to him, so he decided to be with Mina, who needed a father for her baby."
I couldn't believe it. I laughed.
This is the first time Seth made me laugh - genuinely laugh.
"Glad you're taking the news well. Cheers to that." He drinks his cup.
I place the nearly empty cup down and lean against the table with my elbows. With the eyes pressed against my palms, I grunted slightly before I told Seth to hand me the pillow. When he did, I pushed my face into the pillow and let out an awful scream.
There was a door squeak beside me, and as quickly as it came - it left.
Probably Trevon.
When I was done, I poured myself another glass.
Extra confirmation as to why I'm such an awful person.
"If what you said is true. Why can't he just divorce me like everyone else?"
"Idiot probably thinks you won't divorce him if he simply brought it up."
He's right.
Knowing me, I would've thrown the paper in his face.
After my second glass, I was beside Seth who barely broke his first. "Tell me more about the future," I told him. "Don't talk about how you killed me or how my ex-husband didn't cheat. But, tell me about other things."
"What do you want to know about?"
"My dad," I said. "How was he?"
I don't entirely buy his story, but I'll go with it for now.
"He's fine."
"Did Trevon finally divorce that bitch?"
"No."
"Mina and Luke. Are they happy with the kid and marriage and whatever they did?"
"Not sure."
I look at him, "Not sure? How are you not sure? You know everything."
Seth shrugs, "I left town before I knew what happened."
"Why did you leave town?"
"You don't believe anything I said, do you?"
"No. You're full of bullshit."
How can what he possibly said be true?
And if it is true, how can I not remember a damn thing.
Maybe, life with Seth was so miserable I ended up blocking out most of the memory.
I pour myself another glass.
"Easy on the alcohol," he said.
"I'm like forty, I can do whatever I want."
He places two hands in the air and backs away, "Don't come crying to me when your face is shoved into the toilet."
That night, I wrote out everything Seth said and attempted to map out my life with all my memories and the information he gave me.
My conclusion?
Life sucks.
And when life sucks, I would swing it away - as in, I'm on the playground swing.
The next day, I spent nearly two hours at the park on the swing. I closed my eyes and allowed the wind to brush past my hair. I know it sounds silly, but I'm here, I feel like I'm flying.
"I hope I'm not disrupting anything."
With the sound of Eli's voice, I stopped kicking my legs.
His image somehow reflected a blurring camera, still in the same location but somehow moving.
Oh right, I'm on a swing.
Once it slowed down, I said: "Hey."
"Fancy meeting you here." He laughed.
Our meeting is no pure coincidence. Eli knows I like to spend my free time at the park swings. So, sometimes, we would coincidentally meet here. Other times, I caught him at a distance.
From an outsider's perspective, what Eli is doing is desperate and sad but maybe it's because I harbored some feelings for him, I couldn't find it in me to be disgusted by his actions, mostly concerned.
"I'm sorry." He stepped back, "I shouldn't be here. I know. I was taking a walk and somehow, I always manage to come here or your house and I should stop doing that. We're not together anymore."
I got off the swing, "Eli-"
Eli digs his hands into his shorts, "I'm sorry. I just...miss you."
"Why?"
He shrugs.
"Eli. I-" basically implied during our break up that I was cheating on you. "You shouldn't forgive me," I told him. "I did something bad."
"I know," he responded. His head cast down, "I know."
Eli walked me back home. On the way back, we pretended everything was okay, but I can see the anxiety and pain in his eyes. And knowing I was the reason makes it so much more unbearable.
Maybe, I can push his appointment up?
What if having that heart transplant before he collapses gives him a few more years?
Eli smiled wildly as he talked about the recent Marvel movie.
A few years extra for someone like him wouldn't be so wrong, would it?
"You know-" I played with my sleeve, "Cleveland has a good hospital." That topic could not be more out of the blue.
Eli paused his walk, and after half a step, I did too. I turned to him, only to notice the narrow gap between us.
"What are you trying to say?" He asked.
I shrugged passively, "Just Cleveland has a good hospital."
Eli chuckles, but it wasn't a humored type rather a confused fill-in sound. "That's kind of random," he responded. "I was talking about Marvel and you, randomly brought up the hospital."
And deeper I go into the hole I dug myself in. "I know it sounds random and out of the blue, but the other day, while I was scrolling through the web. It kind of popped up and-"
"You kind of got interested, clicked the page, and read up all about how they specialize in cardiac."
"Oh, so you know." I'm not surprised he knows, considering his history and his brother is a doctor. At one point, they probably mentioned Cleveland.
"Yeah," he said. "And I'd appreciate it if you don't bring it back up again."
My brows furrow together, "What's so bad about talking-"
"Because I don't want to talk about it!"
My body shakes lightly at his sudden aggressive outburst. When Eli realizes his mistake, he steps toward my frozen self, "I'm sorry for raising my voice. It's just-"
"It's fine." I step back, "My fault." I turned around and quickly walked towards my destination.
With each step, my legs only grew heavier. There was a pounding in my chest, and I attempted to control my breathing to slow down the shakey palms. This isn't the first time Eli raised his voice at me, but it doesn't mean I'm used to it.
"Ava," he calls after me. "Ava. Wait."
I halted my steps had turned around, "What's wrong with you?" And this isn't the first time my temper got the best between us. "Why do you always act like this whenever someone tries to talk to you about your medical problem?"
Eli takes a few blinks of surprise before his eyes narrow, "Medical problem?" He stomps toward me, "I don't have any medical problem. It's all fixed. I'm good. What I don't understand is why people keep bringing it up! Do you know how it feels when people keep bringing up your past?! Especially when-"
"If you're so good, then why do you keep yelling when people bring it up!"
"Because yelling is the only way for them to listen!"
"And that sounds like it's working out so well!"
Eli huffed a breath before he stepped back, "Whatever." He shook his head before he turned his back and walked away.
"Yeah! Walk away!" Oh, Ava. Don't do it. "Just like how you always walk away from all your problems!"
Eli quickly turned around, "Me?" He marched right back towards me, "I am the one walking away from my problems?"
I know Eli is tall, but sometimes I forget how tall until he's right in front of me.
"And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Why don't you try to stop running away from your problems?"
"Don't you try to reverse psychology this shit on me. This isn't about me."
"Guess who plays a large role in my problems."
"I don't give a fuck about that."
Eli takes another step, barely an inch away from my face. "Then, why did you bring up my problems?"
My lips shivered, and I tried my best to walk away but I couldn't. So, instead, my fingers curled and I swallowed to help the dryness in my throat.
"And don't you dare say it's because you care about me." His voice sounds deeper than ever. "Because if you did, you wouldn't have cheated on me."
He got me there.
Got me right in the corner.
I don't have any right to care because, in this situation, I am the one in the wrong.
At least, that's what Eli thinks.
And if that type of thinking pushes him closer to his happiness, then who am I to not play my rightful role?
"Go on." His nose brushes against mine, "Let's see what you got to say."
My nails dug into my arms, and I screamed internally to gather myself. Because if I don't - if I continue to look into his teary brown eyes, I'll fall.
And I did.
Before I could snap back into reality, he kissed me.