Izuku sits in Mina's couch feeling a bit lost and defeated as she gets him a glass of water then takes a seat beside him.
" Ok sweetie, let's hear it. What in the world happened?"
He looks over at her with a tired upset looking smile and sighs.
" We had this really amazing weekend, everything was perfect. I felt like we were so close and .. I mean we are, I think anyway, or I thought? I'm not even sure but we were eating and talking and I was just so caught up in the time we had and the way the relationship had been going that when he looked at me and told me how much he was going to miss me when I left that I just.. I just said it! Like, without even thinking the stupid words were out of my mouth and he looked like he just saw a ghost. I knew right then before he even said anything that I just scared him to death. Ugh Mina, he wasn't ready and I just feel like I've screwed the whole thing up.", he says with green eyes going teary.
She reaches for his hand.
" Oh Zuku, I don't think that's true at all. What did he say after you told him? You guys didn't break up right?"
Izuku sighs putting his head back on the couch.
" He .. he just said he wasn't ready to say those words again and no we didn't break up but .. I feel like things are so messed up now, like this is just laying in the air between us cause he knows that I love him and I know that... that he...", he pauses unable to get the next words past his lips.
She squeezes his hand, her heart heavy for the sweetest guy she has ever known.
" He what honey?"
Izuku looks over at her, brimmed tears now falling down his cheeks.
" He doesn't love me."
She reaches over and pulls him into a hug with a heavy sigh. She takes a minute to think before she pulls back and hands him a tissue from the box on the coffee table.
" I don't necessarily think that's true."
He looks over her with a raised brow as he wipes his eyes with a sniffle.
" But .. he.. he said .."
She shakes her head.
" He said he wasn't ready to say it. He didn't say he didn't. His treatment of you says more than his words. He worries about you all the time, has me check in on you constantly. He's miserable when he can't see you. I think he's scared of the words because that means this relationship is at the level where it's serious and after Sora that's frightening for him but Izuku I definitely think he feels more than he says, the fact that he didn't break things off right there after you said it says a lot too."
Izuku nods sniffling.
" Yes.. I.. I suppose you're right. I know he doesn't want the relationship to end he seemed really concerned about that. It actually hurt my heart to see him so worried about it."
Mina eyes the male she's loved from the minute she met him.
" You aren't going to break things off are you Izu?"
He meets her eye, tears in his own again.
" No. I mean I definitely don't want to, I really want to try to make this work. It's just I feel so.. hurt and I'm not even sure I should but I definitely am."
She rubs his arm with understanding.
" Of course you do, that would have been hard to hear from someone you love. I understand why you feel that way Izu and honestly I'm sure he does too that's why he's worried, cause he knows he hurt you even if he didn't want to."
He puts his head back again closing red raw eyes.
" This so stupid. It's not like he dumped me but I feel the same way as if he had, and I keep thinking about the fact that I keep misreading him. Like the first time I made a move to kiss him he hadn't been ready then either and now this. Now I'm the one who feels scared to make any move forward."
Her heart aches.
" Izuku it's ok to feel what you feel. You can't help that. It's a messy situation right now and him being out on the road isn't helping since you both really need to talk all this through."
The greenett sighs.
" I know but I knew dating him with come with some rough patches like him possibly being gone when things hit a rocky patch, doesn't make it any easier tho. Ugh I just wish I could get my hurt feelings under control."
She smiles.
" You will. Give yourself time Izuku, feel what you need to."
He nods thinking.
" Yeah. I know you're right. I'll get past it, through it, whatever you wanna say. Everything feels so lonely here now without him so there's that too. Maybe I'll go home and see my mom for a few days just to calm everything down."
" That's a good idea Izu. It'll work out. I'm sure he'll be calling me soon to check on you. I'll talk to him ok?"
He smiles slightly.
" Ok. But don't make him feel bad. He was just being honest and I understand that and please make sure he's ok too."
She shakes her head with a grin.
" You are too sweet. You're more worried about him than you."
Izuku laughs softly.
" No, it's just I know we're both hurting over it and I don't want him to feel like he can't be open that's all. Anyway, thanks for listening. I love you, I'm gonna head back to my place and get some sleep, I need that too."
She gets up behind him walking him to the door.
"Want a ride?"
He shakes his head.
" No, I think the walk will do me good, thanks though."
Miles away on a tour bus a blonde musician is having his very own break down.
Kirishima eyes his best friend.
" Bro, what do you mean you fucked up? Please don't tell me you guys broke up?"
Katsuki scoffs getting up as he wipes drunken tears from his eyes.
" No, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up that way."
The redhead isn't sure what happened but it definitely doesn't sound or look good.
" Why don't you tell me what happened first."
Katsuki stares out the window watching the world rush by the bus windows as he answers.
" I'm a fucking idiot is what happened. I'm so damaged and so messed up inside that I couldn't even return the sweetest words I have ever fucking heard said to me by the most amazing guy I have ever known."
Kiri frowns.
" Bro.. did.. did he tell you he loved you?"
Katsuki doesn't turn around only nods.
" Yup."
" And you.. you didn't say it back?"
Katsuki sighs more of a growl in the tone.
" Nope."
The redhead cringes, happy the blonde can't see his face.
" What did you say? Bro please don't tell me you said something shitty like thank you. You didn't say thank you right?! Or like .. yeah I know.. or.."
Katsuki turns around, drunk crimson eyes boring into his friends soul making Kirishima immediately go quiet.
" No you shit, I didn't say thank you or any of that other stuff. I feel like I said something worse, I told him I wasn't ready to say it back and then hours later I put him on a fucking plane and sent him home alone to think about what a fucking mess I am and how he could do so much better since I ripped his God damn heart out and showed it to him when I rejected his feelings.", he says with frustration and hurt all over his expression.
Kirishima feels his own mood sharply drop because this was bad in his mind.
" Oh no"
Katsuki scoffs through frustrated tears that he can't seem to get to stop.
" Yeah, fucking exactly."
" What did he say?"
The blonde shrugs pacing again.
" Said he understood and for me not to be sorry but I hurt him Eijiro, I mean of course I hurt him. If I would have told him I loved him and he said what I did, I'd be fucking done, probably would have ended it right there cause I was fucking devested."
Katsuki slams himself down on a seat across from his best friend.
" You should have seen him. He looked so God damn lost and embarrassed. I felt like complete trash, like I just kicked a puppy. Fuck.", he says sounding lost himself as he runs his hands through his hair.
Kiri sighs.
" He didn't break it off though right? I mean he said he understood."
The blonde meets his eye then shifts them down.
" No he didn't break it off, at least not yet but I wouldn't be surprised if he does after he has time to think about it. Hell I wouldn't even blame him if he did. I'm a God damn train wreck."
The rose red eyes of his best friend grow soft as he chuckles lightly.
" Nah bro you aren't, you just have past baggage, Mido knows that."
Katsuki sighs.
" I still feel like a shit. He has baggage too, he still managed to open up and tell me how he felt.".
The redhead is quiet for a minute before he speaks.
" Can I ask you something?"
The blonde looks up and nods.
" Yeah."
" You really don't feel the same way about him? I mean dude I've known you a long time. I see you with him. You're happy, relaxed, protective. I mean you don't just drop a whole tour for a day or so to go home to bring him back here with you for just anyone. That stuff tells me you don't just like this guy. I gotta say I'm really surprised you didn't say it back."
Katsuki shifts his sights down as he thinks.
He groans finally standing up.
" I know! I should have said it! That's what I'm saying! Something is so fucked up with me! When I think of the words I love you I associate it with a time when I would say those words only to get crushed, I associate them with pain not happiness and .. "
Kirishima lifts a brow.
" And?"
Katsuki almost growls.
" Fear! I'm fucking scared I guess I dunno! But the fucked up thing is now I'm terrified I'm going to lose him. I care about him, christ Eijiro, I care about him so God damn much but I'm afraid that's going to get washed away by probably the stupidest thing I've ever done and you and I both know I've done some stupid shit in my life."
The redhead hurts now, hurts for his best friend and the friend he made with the greenett who he knows must be just as upset if not more so.
" Nah, I don't think you're going to lose him, but I do think you definitely gotta talk more about this with each other. Really crappy timing that it happened right before he went home."
The blonde glances up at him.
" I think that just fucking made me feel worse, thanks for bringing that up you shit."
Kiri gives a nervous smile.
" Sorry bro, I didn't mean to make you feel that way just make sure you talk as much as you can anyway. I know that's hard out here with us being so busy."
The blonde pulls his phone out looking at it.
" I feel like he doesn't even want to right now. He's barely said anything since he got back home.", Katsuki says in a tone low and down sounding.
" Give him some time, he just got back, and he's probably tired and overwhelmed, don't blow his phone up but remind him that you care about how he's feeling man. You'll work it out. Speaking of tired you look beat man why don't you go sleep some of that alcohol off and maybe he'll text you once you wake up."
The blonde grunts as he stands up feeling the weight of fatigue and liquor pull at him while he heads for his bed in the back of the bus.
" Yeah maybe."
He stumbles into the bunk area and closes the curtain falling face forward onto his bed with a heavy thud.
He pulls out his phone typing out one more drunken message before he lets sleep take him.
Pinky
Check on my baby Pinky. He gets so overwhelmed he won't be able to think straight. Make sure he eats cause he doesn't when he's upset. He'll have a hard time focusing at work it'll make him act all Dekuish and his boss will be a fuck, make sure he doesn't get yelled at. There's a special green tea I make him when he's nervous and can't sleep it's in his cabinet above the stove. Thanks
As the Pinkett reads the message she smiles with a head shake speaking to herself
" You absolutely do love him, you can't fool me Katsuki Bakugo."
A/N
Our tale continues.