Grey by Two Feet
I can die happy.
Shane is here.
Daryl, too.
"Mia. Hey, hey, hey." I hear Shane's frantic voice and feel his hand grip my bicep.
I wish my eyes would open so I could look at him.
All I can do is mumble his name as I fight the losing battle of staying conscious.
"I'm here, I'm here." he replies.
His hands snake between my body and the forest floor as he scoops me up into his arms.
"I got you." his lips whisper against the top of my head.
He holds me securely as he moves quickly.
I hear Daryl's crossbow fire every so often as I slip in and out of reality.
The next thing I know, I hear the starting of a car engine. My body shifts at the little jolt of acceleration and I realise I'm lying down. And a hand is stroking my face and hair.
I manage the impossible and peel my eyes open.
Through narrow, blurry slits, I look up at Shane's face, my head in his lap. He's looking down at me, face full of worry.
My memories didn't do him justice.
He's the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on.
"Hey, baby." he whispers down at me, as his hand takes a gentle yet firm hold on the side of my face. "You're safe now."
A weary half smile plays on my lips.
"Fuckin' little warrior." I say, my voice coming out a raspy whisper.
A short breathy laugh escapes him and he reaches toward the front seats. "Fuckin' A."
He gently holds a water bottle to my mouth and helps me take a drink.
"Rest, sweetheart."
It's the last thing I hear before finally falling into unconsciousness.
~
My mind slowly begins to stir, trying to figure out where I am as I come to.
There's something pressing on the side of my throat but then it's gone.
"Heart rate's steady."
Next, my eye is being pulled open and a torch is shone in my face.
I flinch, turning my face away from the light.
"Sorry." Hershel says, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Rest is what she needs most right now, but she should eat something." he comments as he moves away from me.
Shane takes his place in my field of vision, standing in the open door of the vehicle I'm still laying in the back of.
"Gotta get you up, sweetheart. Just for a minute, then you can go right back to sleep." He gently props me up and climbs in to sit beside me.
I feel like a rag doll.
Shane helps me take some food and water before I curl up on the seat, resting my head on the window frame.
He tenderly presses his lips to my temple.
"I love you." he whispers as unconsciousness comes and takes me again.
~
The next time I wake, the car is moving and I can feel someone beside me.
I lift my head and look through narrow eyes at my surroundings.
I'm in the back of the Tucson.
Glenn and Maggie beside me, Andrea in the passenger seat and Shane in the drivers.
"How long have I been out?" I ask. My voice comes out soft and husky, but it's quick to grab everyone's attention.
"Hey, sleepy head. 'Bout six hours." Glenn says beside me, a smile on his face.
"Woah, sleepy head alright." I comment in surprise.
"You needed it." Shane says from the front. "How do you feel?"
"Fine. Just a little groggy." I answer.
He turns in his seat to look me over.
"Well, might as well get some more sleep while you can. We got a lot of driving ahead of us." Shane says, facing the road again.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"Fort Benning." Shane replies. "Glenn, get her some food and water, man."
Everyone is silent while I eat and drink, throwing repeated concerned glances in my direction.
"I'm not a porcelain doll, guys." I comment, in between bites of food. "I'm fine."
"Christ." Shane says, shaking his head. "Fine? We nearly lost you. You just went a whole night without any food, water or sleep."
"I'm aware. But I'm here with you guys now and I'm fine."
Our eyes meet in the rear view mirror and I give him a soft smile. His eyes soften slightly but still hold their worry.
I grab the back of Shane's seat and pull myself forward, leaning around to plant a big kiss on his cheek.
He turns and looks me up and down, checking if I've gone mad, as I sit back in my seat with a chuckle.
I grab Glenn's hand and give it a squeeze. "It's nice to be back around the living." I say with a smile.
Glenn and Maggie both smile at me.
It's not long before I'm dozing off to the comforting sound of their voices. The sound of my family, alive and well.
~
I wake with a start, sitting up straight, chest heaving, as I escape a nightmare.
Shane is there instantly, his voice calling me, his hand gripping my face. "Shh, shh, shh. It's okay, sweetheart."
My breathing slows and calm flows through me as I look into the face of the man I love.
"Nightmare?" he asks and I nod.
"I was back in the woods." I say and look around the now empty car.
It's dark now and the car is stationary.
"..I'm so sorry, Mia." Shane says, his voice filled with pain, hurt and guilt.
I look back to his face and even in the dark, I can see his expression matches his voice.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." I tell him.
"Nothing to be s-" he starts but scoffs, removing his hand from my face. "I left you."
"That wasn't your fault. I told you to leave." I say.
Shane shakes his head. "I shoulda-"
"Shoulda what?" I cut him off. "If you'd stayed, you, Dale and Andrea would've been killed."
He remains unconvinced.
"I'm here now because of you. You found me, you brought me back." I say. "You saved me. Again. And even when I was out there, all alone, you saved me. You were what kept me going."
He looks at me for a moment and I can see he wants to believe me. But then he drops his gaze and furrows his brows.
"When we all met at the highway and you weren't there.." he starts, his voice low.
My mind instantly imagines if our situations were reversed and my eyes brim with tears.
I can't dismiss his pain. I would have lost my mind if he was left behind.
"I didn't expect things to go the way they did.. I'm sorry for putting you through that."
"It's hard to be mad about you going back for that gun bag when it's what saved your life." he says and I chuckle. "I ain't ever gonna let you outta my sight again."
I beam at him. "I can live with that."
He leans in and presses his lips to mine.
"I love you." I tell him as he rests his forehead against mine.
"I love you." he whispers back.
We lock lips once more before I take a proper look out the windows of the car.
Our vehicle is nose to nose with the Cherokee, the cars creating a 'V', enclosing the doors of a timber barn.
"Where are we?" I ask Shane.
"Cherokee's out of gas. Gonna wait the night and search for more in the morning. Everyone's inside the barn."
"Not another barn.." I say with a groan and Shane chuckles.
Looking at the barn, I can see a faint light through the timber slats.
"Why are we out here?" I ask, turning back to Shane.
"I didn't want to wake you. Didn't want you to wake up by yourself either."
I smile at him and caress his face.
I lean in for a soft kiss but it quickly becomes more passionate, awakening an almost desperate hunger in both of us.
As our tongues start to tease each other and our warm breaths fill the space, I work my way onto Shane's lap.
Once I'm straddling him, he pulls his mouth from mine.
"Maybe you should take it easy.."
I glance at his shoulder and gasp silently as I remember his bullet wound.
"Sorry! Is your shoulder okay?" I ask, worried I've hurt him.
"My shoulder is fine," he dismisses. "I mean you."
"Oh. I'm fine, I've been resting all day."
"Because you were running all night." Shane argues.
"Mmm, you want me to rest? Then satiate me." I purr, grinding on his lap.
He lets out a low growl.
Shane doesn't resist much after that and we get back to it, all hot and heavy.
It's not until he starts undoing the button on my jeans that I'm hit with a cold hard realisation.
"Are you okay?" Shane asks at the first moment of hesitation from me.
I let out an annoyed groan and fall onto his chest.
"What is it?" he asks with a chuckle.
I sit back up and cup his face in my hands. "Thanks to recent events.. I've missed my pill." I tell him.
He just laughs.
"Is my stuff here?" I ask him.
"It's in the back." he answers.
I climb off of him and lean over the seat, searching for my bag in the back of the car. Once I find it, I dig out the little tablets and swallow one.
"We'll have to play it safe for a couple days." I sulk as I throw my bag into the back. "Maybe on our search for gas tomorrow, we can go on a side quest for condoms.." I add and Shane just chuckles some more.
"There are other ways, you know." he says with a mischievous smirk, his hand slowly working its way to the button on my pants.
I grin and pull his face back to mine, smashing our lips together again.
His mouth never leaving mine, he lays me on my back and hovers over me as his hand finds its way into my panties.
He pushes two fingers in and then his tongue is in my mouth, mirroring the movements of his fingers.
"Oh fuck.." I breathe before moaning his name.
Then his mouth is back on mine and his fingers continue to work their magic before he brings his thumb down on me.
I let out another moan as I come undone.
Shane hovers closely, staring down at me while I catch my breath.
He holds eye contact with me and brings his hand up between us and sucks his fingers clean.
I breathe out a laugh and bite my lip.
"Your turn." I tell him and reach for his belt buckle.
~
Shane and I enter the barn, hand in hand, satisfied and hungry.
"Mia, how are you feeling?" Rick asks as Shane and I join everyone around the light of a lantern.
"I'm good." I answer. Really good.
We take a seat beside him and Lori passes us some food.
I spot Daryl over in his own corner and he gives me a nod.
Then my eyes fall on Dale and I remember that he was bit at the farm.
His wrist is bandaged up but he looks good. He doesn't look riddled with fever.
Dale smiles at me, watching me look between his face and his arm.
"It worked?" I ask, looking to Shane.
"It worked." Shane confirms.
"Oh my god!" I say with a short laugh. "Dale, I'm so glad you're okay."
"You too, Mia." Dale says with a soft smile. "I'm alive and well, thanks to Shane. I'd quickly accepted my fate but he didn't give up."
I smile proudly at Shane beside me.
"I'm glad to be here, even if I'm just a liability now." Dale comments.
"Stop that." Shane says. "You're a part of this group, no matter what. Ain't a liability."
Dale wears a grateful smile. His eyes silently communicating to me that his distrust of Shane is now gone, that he understands what I had been trying to tell him back at the farm.
I smile at Dale, giving him a subtle nod before swallowing a few mouthfuls of food.
I notice Maggie sitting with Hershel and Beth and take another look around the barn. "Where's Patricia?" I ask.
The solemn looks from the Greene's tell me enough.
"I'm so sorry.." I say, my eyes getting glossy.
They all nod sadly, accepting my sympathies.
Shane puts his arm around me. I look into his eyes and he already knows what I'm thinking.
He'd said everyone was safe.
He brings his mouth to my ear. "You didn't need to know at the time. It only would've upset you." he whispers.
"And we're sorry, Mia. For leaving you behind." Lori says.
"I left you on the truck. I didn't know you were out there." Rick tries to explain, guilt thick in his tone.
"It's okay." I say, giving them both a reassuring smile. "None of you knew. It's on me. If I didn't stop for the bag, I would have made it to the Cherokee."
Shane rubs his hand soothingly up and down my back.
It's quiet for a moment until Rick addresses the group.
"We've all been through hell and worse.. but at least we found each other." he says. "I wasn't sure, I really wasn't, but we did. We're together. We're gonna keep it that way."
Everyone looks around at each other, nodding in agreement.
"We'll find shelter somewhere, there's gotta be a place. Not just where we hole up, but that we fortify. Hunker down, pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other. I know it's out there, we just have to find it." Rick states confidently.
"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe.. we can never be sure for how long." Maggie says. "Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe."
"We won't make that mistake again." Rick affirms.
"We'll see what we can find at Fort Benning. But we need to have a back up plan. We don't need a repeat of the CDC." Shane says. "If things look like a no go, we need somewhere else to move on to. And before nightfall."
We have a quick discussion regarding our search for gas tomorrow as we finish our dinner.
Afterwards, we break off, spreading out around the barn to settle in for the night.
While Shane picks us a spot, I slip over to Daryl as he takes watch.
"Hey." I greet him, keeping my voice low.
"How ya feelin'?" he asks.
"Good. I just wanted to say thank you. For coming to find me, for helping bring me back." I tell Daryl.
He just nods.
"Wasn't sure if you'd still be with us.." I say. "Thought you might go look for your brother."
"He's alive, as far as I know. That's good enough for me. Figured I'm better off without him." Daryl replies.
I smile at his words and throw my arms around his waist in a tight hug.
He's still for a moment before his body softens in acceptance.
He actually hugs me back, loosely, with one arm.
I bid Daryl goodnight and go back to Shane.
He lays his jacket down for me and we curl up on the barn floor.
Shane wraps me in his arms and holds me close.
I'm consumed with happiness. This is exactly what I dreamed of last night, when I was lost in the woods.
And now I have it.
I have my love, I have my family, I have shelter, food and water.
I feel like the luckiest person alive.
"I'm so sorry, darlin'." Shane says, his low voice breaking my little reverie while he strokes the back of my head. Guilt is thick and heavy in his tone.
"Shane.." I start.
"No matter you say, it's not gonna stop me from feelin' bad about leaving you. Don't think I can forgive myself for that."
"Neither of us knew it would go down like that.." I say softly. "What's done is done. I just want to focus on now. And right now, I'm happy, I'm warm, I'm fed and I'm so in love with you." I tell him, lifting my head from his chest to look in his eyes.
He smiles down at me, his arms giving me a little squeeze before he plants a kiss on my head.
"You're my favourite thing is this goddamn world. I ain't ever lettin' you go." he says.
"Sounds good to me." I reply and nuzzle back into his chest.
All too soon, my mind wanders.
To Rick's speech earlier, about finding a safe place to build and live.
I start to picture it happening but it's just fantasy, because no matter how much we may want it, walkers still exist.
"What Rick said earlier, about finding a place to fortify.. to live together and be safe.. That sounds good.." I speak my thoughts out loud, keeping my voice low so only Shane can hear.
"But?"
He knows me so well.
"But.. I don't know if it's possible." I say.
"Why?"
"Because the problem is still present. How can we find peace if we don't eliminate the thing that's disrupting the peace?"
"Fortify and secure the area."
"But it won't ever be fully secure. The walkers will come, they'll find a way in. They always do."
"How do we eliminate the problem? We can't go around and kill every last one." Shane says.
"They have to have a weakness.."
"Besides a bullet to the brain?"
"There's gotta be something else." I whisper. "I feel like it's staring us right in the face."
"Forget about it for now, okay? Let's just get some rest." Shane says.
After that, I'm quick to fall asleep in the warmth and comfort of Shane.
~
Hours later, Shane is woken for watch duty.
He kisses my head and tells me to go back to sleep but I can't.
I feel cold and empty without him. And I'm not ready to be on my own again so soon.
So after five minutes of failing to fall back asleep, I get up, grab his jacket and tiptoe over to where he's stationed at the barn doors.
He watches me silently and lets me curl up in his lap. I position myself between his legs and lie back against his chest, using his jacket as a blanket.
"Not to sound needy, but you said earlier you weren't ever gonna let me go." I say quietly and Shane snickers.
"Well, I apologise darlin', do forgive me." he murmurs quietly into my ear as he wraps his arms around me.
"You're going to have to make it up to me." I say with a sly smirk.
"Deal." Shane says. He pecks me on the cheek and goes back to watch duty.
I close my eyes as I rest in his lap but my mind starts to race with thoughts once again.
Specifically, thoughts of Dr. Jenner and our time at the CDC.
"You're right, by the way." Shane whispers.
I open my eyes and tilt my head back to look up at him.
"About eliminating the problem." he adds. "They will just keep coming. There's gotta be a way to end this."
"I keep thinking about Dr. Jenner.."
"Me too. The Doc was the key." Shane says. "He had all the tests, the facts, the theory, but I think he was missin' the field work."
I think over Shane's words.
"Well.. we have the field work." I comment.
"That we do. Now we're just missin' the Doc."
"We know they're drawn by sound.. maybe we can use that against them somehow?" I ponder.
"Decoys, traps, things like that?"
"Yeah."
We continue our quiet discussion, bringing up what we remember from our short time with Jenner, trying to brainstorm an end to this biological war.
Jenner had said that Mother Nature was a 'serial killer' and that the hard part was seeing the breadcrumb trail of clues.
"If it is a virus, I wonder if there's anyone who's immune?" I say after some thoughtful silence.
"Someone out there who's been bit but didn't turn? I suppose it's possible." Shane says.
I look over at Dale, sleeping soundly, still very much alive and human.
"Did you know chopping Dale's hand off would work?" I ask Shane while he keeps a watchful eye outside.
"No. What did he have to lose if it didn't?"
"So either, Dale's immune or you amputated before anything could spread. So whatever it is, spreads like venom? But it's symptomatic like a virus?"
Shane laughs under his breath. "I don't know."
I let out a deep sigh. "Let's just all move to a desert island." I say and Shane laughs again.
"Now there's an idea." he says, planting a kiss on top of my head.
I close my eyes and start drifting off until I feel Shane tense beneath me.
I sit up and face him, fearing our barn is about to be compromised but he's looking over at Dale with furrowed brows.
"I'm a liability now." he murmurs under his breath, repeating Dale's words from dinner.
"What is it?"
"The old man.. in the street." he says, looking back to me. "The old man, in the street when we escaped Mert County with Randall that day. The walkers just ran right past him, remember?"
"Vividly."
I can practically see the wheels turning behind Shane's eyes.
"Viruses, they need hosts, right? Maybe.. maybe that guy was already sick?" he says.
"Not a strong enough host for the virus?"
"Exactly. Why else would they just run straight past the guy?"
Something I'd long forgotten re-enters my mind.
"Way back when I met you, when you and Glenn first saved me.. remember I thought I saw a woman down the street?"
"Yeah.. Yeah, I remember that. You wanted to go after her but I didn't see anyone." Shane says.
"Yeah, so I thought maybe I imagined her."
"What about her?"
"She was in a wheelchair. I remember wondering how the hell she could still be alive, if she was in a wheelchair. But that walker we dodged, it walked right past her too and she just wheeled herself back out of sight."
"Not a strong enough host.."
"So the weaker we are, the safer?" I speculate.
"It's starting to seem that way." Shane says.
"Jenner said there was a place in Columbus. A Disease Centre." I say. "Somebody there might know something."
"Columbus is on the way to Fort Benning. We can make a pit stop."
We smile at each other.
Finally, a small, potential glimmer of hope, that has many possibilities of failure.
But I'll take that glimmer and hold on tight.
It's very likely that this won't work but..
What if it does?
A/ N
A few more TWD characters will be making an appearance next chapter!
Also, somewhat of a spoiler, but; if you've seen the movie World War Z, you'll know where this is kind of heading.
Thanks for reading!
- K