The New Batman Adventures 'Fan Fiction Love Story'
By Tayla Drago
Gotham Girls
Episode #104 - Miss Un-Congeniality
At the 'Miss Criminal Mastermind Beauty Pageant', a crowd cheers the Gotham Girls as they appear on the stage: Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Catwoman, and a hooded figure known only as 'Mystery'.
"Let's bring out four finalists, all from Gotham City! What is it about this town?"
Laughter from audience. For Megan was the special judge of a fashion model in disguise of the show 'to be undercover to try arresting the three...or four criminals in this show'.
"And here they are, good sir! Here they are!" she shows them each to come out one at a time. "Here's the plant beauty, Poison Ivy. The female clown, Harley Quinn! The cat-like thief, Catwoman! And..." she stops to see this person was new. "Mystery...? (OK, so where's Barbara? She said she was going to help me, so who's the other...)" Megan gets it now. "(Oh, now I see.) And here they are!"
After introducing the contestants, they are asked one by one what they would do if crowned Miss Criminal Mastermind for all four of them to tell the audience about themselves.
"Okay, ladies, tell us all about yourselves and such." said the host.
Harley: I'm just crazy about...well, hey, I'm just crazy! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Mystery remains silent.
Mystery: No comment.
Ivy: The grass won't always be green.
Catwoman: The mouse was just asking for it.
As a final event, they are challenged to crack a heavily guarded safe under a ten-second time limit.
"And now, ladies, if one of you won Miss Criminal Mastermind, what is your one hope in the world?" the host asks the four girls.
"And... go!"
With Megan giving them the queue to talk, they go one at a time to say something...
Catwoman: I would stop animal cruelty to save them and stop the real bad people who put harm to them all.
Each one Megan hears about to understanding their reasons from good to bad ones.
"(I could go for that one.)" she said.
Ivy: I would have the right to protect plant-life and stop the abuse on to anyone who tries destroying it all.
"(Like anyone cares too much to still make some more.)" Megan freaks out.
Harley: I would do everything in my power to free my Pudding...Oh, Mr. J...!
"(Get over it...! He's insane to go out with the likes of Joker of all people!)" made Megan feel sick just thinking about it.
The Host then asks Mystery about herself next.
"And what about you, Mystery?" he asked.
And still, she said nothing...
"(Dramatic much...?)" Megan added. "Whatever, moving on."
Next was trying to get the vault to open within ten seconds without setting off the alarm.
"Now give it your all, ladies."
Let's see how this goes...Poison Ivy crushes it with a vine, Catwoman slices it open, and Harley Quinn valiantly attacks it with a hammer. Leaving Megan to be left speechless.
"Now that's sad..." she said. "Okay, one more to go!"
And last comes Mystery for it was her turn, she suddenly ropes up the other three contestants and the host. As Megan shows herself first to arrest all four of the criminals.
"Huh?" shock the host.
"What the?!" same with Ivy.
"Get these off me!" and Catwoman.
"Hey!" surprised Harley.
And surprise! Mystery reveals herself as Batgirl, acting amazed for everyone even the people in the audience.
"Nice timing."
"Thanks, Megan." she said. "Surprise."
And then mugging for the camera when she is declared the winner.
"Well, folks, it looks like we have a winner." said the host. "I guess that wraps it all up."
Bad joke there...for some people to boo 'for some of them did' and the others cheered to have a hero to win this odd contest of the female villains for this year and put an end to it as well. Batgirl to be shocked, she cheers to say her thanks to everyone in the crowd.
"You earned it, Batgirl." Megan said.
For others to clap to end the show as the host says his farewells 'as part of his job'.
"Well, that was fun...I guess. Tune in next year to another show of Miss Criminal Mastermind Beauty Pageant! Goodnight, folks."
For the TV to turn off after that to be on live, goes all static-like to end the show. Nothing more to say, but... 'that's all folks' – from the Looney Tunes cartoon show itself.