Chapter 18
Viv
Chris and I are spending the day together doing one of those tours of the Blarney Castle along with a few other popular sites outside of the city. Chris takes photos and sends them back to his friends in California to make them jealous.
Meanwhile, I'm freezing my ass off, bundled up and still shivering from the cold Irish rain. The sites are beautiful, but what I wouldn't give for a big fuzzy blanket and a smutty book with Cal's big warm body sleeping next to me right about now.
Chris and I end our day at a popular pub in the Temple Bar district, stuffing our faces with food.
Cal's got four...yes, four...soldiers with us today.
"That normal?" Chris chuckles as he lathers his fried fish in vinegar.
"Oh," I laugh, "Yes."
"Well, that's good. Keeps you safe," Chris nods thoughtfully.
I rub my lips together. "It was a fluke incident, Chris."
His eyes grow serious. "I know," he nods. "I know. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. This world...it's dangerous."
I frown down at my plate. I know all this. I've always known this. I protected Chris from it to the best of my abilities, but as I got deeper into the Donnellys' world, things got less safe. I had to tell my brother the truth about my employer.
It's how I made us money. It's how I sent him to camp, enrolled him in special classes, paid for his traveling soccer team. Hell, it's how I got him to Stanford.
I made that choice. The choice to enter this world. For him. For my family.
And I wouldn't go back and change a damn thing.
"I'm aware."
"It's different, Jiějiě," he sighs. "It's one thing working for the Donnellys. It's another thing marrying the boss of the Dublin mafia."
My cheeks go hot.
Marriage?
I hadn't even...
Well, I guess I did think about marriage. Maybe eventually. I knew I'd stay by Cal's side. I can't imagine a life without him now.
"I like Cal. A lot. I know he loves you. He'd do anything for you...but Viv," Chris sighs, taking my hands, "I'd be a bad brother if I didn't just make sure...this is what you really want."
"This is what I really want," I tell him, nodding. I've never felt surer. "Alistair is it for me."
Chris smiles a bit.
"The only thing is," I admit with a sigh, "It's a big step. I realize that. And...well, I'll miss you."
Tears well in my eyes as emotion takes over.
Chris squeezes my hands a few times. "I'm always here, V."
"You know what I mean," I sigh shakily. "It's one thing being in Chicago with you in Stanford...but Ireland...it's a world away."
"I was always going to leave the nest. You know that as well as I do. The only reason I'm anything is because of you, Jiějiě. I owe you everything."
I sniffle. "You don't owe me a thing. You're my brother. And I love you more than anything."
"I want you happy."
"Am I being selfish, Chris?" I whisper.
He shakes his head. "No. Never. You've done so much...for me, for everyone around you...you're allowed to be selfish now. Do what you want to do."
"I want to be here, Chris. I want to be here with him."
Chris lifts my knuckles up and kisses them. "Then stay. Don't make any more decisions for other people. Stay for yourself, Jiějiě. It's what they would have wanted for you too. You know it."
I let out a laugh-sob at the mention of our parents – who loved us so much, who sacrificed so much...
"I miss them," I admit.
"God, me too," Chris smiles sadly, leaning back in his side of the booth.
"I think they'd be pretty pleased with how we're doing, at least I hope so," I smile a bit.
"Definitely."
"I love you, Xiǎo dìdì. Yǒngyuǎn hé yǒngyuǎn."
"Always and forever," my brother repeats back to me in English. "They'd want you happy too, Viv. They'd want you to live for yourself, too. It's okay to be selfish. You've sure as hell earned it. They'd want you to do what made you happiest."
"I've never been this happy, Chris."
"Then you have your answer."
***********************************************
It's sad driving my brother to the airport. The four days he was here went far too quickly. I hold him far too long outside the airport.
"Be good," I warn him. "Don't get into...too much...trouble."
He grins. "I never do."
I hug him again, holding him, memorizing this moment.
Chris and I finally part. He gives Cal a quick hug. Cal ruffles my brother's hair. "Safe travels. Let us know when you get back stateside."
"Will do. Thanks for taking care of her, Cal."
Something works in Cal's throat then. He nods. "Of course. Always."
Chris gives me a knowing look.
"Yǒngyuǎn hé yǒngyuǎn..." he mutters to me before kissing my cheek and rolling his suitcase into the airport. Cal and I both wave as we watch him get lost in the crowd.
"What does that mean?" Cal asks when we climb back into the SUV.
"Always and forever," I grin a bit as I buckle in. "We always say it to each other."
"I like that. Say it again for me?"
"Yǒngyuǎn hé yǒngyuǎn," I repeat slowly.
"Yǒngyuǎn hé yǒngyuǎn...Always and forever, Vivi."
My heart melts. I take his hand. And I know, I just know, I've made the right choice. This man. This selfless, amazing, kind man. He's strong, thoughtful, and so, so good. I've never felt more loved or cared for in my life. It's a new feeling. And one I will never take for granted.
*********************************************
Cal
I overhear Viv talking to her landlord on the phone a few afternoons after Chris leaves, talking about getting out of her lease early. My heart stutters. Because she's staying. Staying with me.
But fuck. Am I ruining her life?
The thought still haunts me.
James and Iris officially sign the deed to Cillian's mansion over to me. The house my cousins grew up in is now mine. I could care less about where I live, but I know Viv likes it here. She's never had a big place, a home to call her own – not really. I want to give her that.
I want to give her so much. Everything, even.
Viv's been a bit sad since her brother left. She masks it well, but I hear her crying sometimes at night. I see the sad way she looks back at photos she and Chris took while he was here.
It makes me want to fucking die.
Viv and I go to my mom's for dinner one night. Viv's putting on a brave face, but I know she misses her brother.
Gwen is home for her fall break from Legacy U. She wastes no time grilling me about Viv.
"You better not fuck this up," she mutters as we prep the salads while Viv and my mom laugh from the dining room about something.
I nudge my baby sister. "I'll try not to..."
"You've been pining after her for years, Al. Don't fumble the ball in overtime," she nudges me back a hundred times harder, making me almost lose my balance.
"What's with the sports reference?" I huff a laugh.
"I've been hanging out with too many Americans..." Gwen mutters. I chuckle as we take the food to the dining room.
"Viv was just telling me about her brother visiting," Mom says.
"Ah," I smile, "Did she tell you how she got wasted and performed several rap songs for an entire pub?"
Viv gives me a look of death.
Mom laughs. "Well. A matchmade in heaven. Cal's always been a bit of a ham."
Gwen cackles.
Viv giggles.
I give them all evil looks. "Unreal how you all gang up on me."
"It's so easy," Gwen snorts.
Viv puts her head on my shoulder, cuddling into me. "Don't be fussy!" she giggles.
I grumble a few choice swear words under my breath, then lean into her, "I'll punish you later."
"Would like to see you try," she whispers.
My cock surges. This woman...
Viv gives me a look. "Are you going to tell them the news?"
"Tell us what news?" Mom asks excitedly.
Gwen takes a long sip of wine and smirks, "Did you knock her up?"
"What? No!" I stutter. Viv's cheeks go red. Mom gives Gwen a scolding look. "I...well, it's official. It's me."
Mom and Gwen both stare at me for a long moment.
Gwen is the first to slowly smile.
Mom leans forward and puts her hand on my forearm. "Oh, darling, are you sure?"
"I'm sure," I nod. "It's what I want."
Mom smiles. "I'm happy for you then."
"Which means...we aren't selling your company," I smirk at her. Mom gives me a look.
"Interesting..." she mutters.
"Viv and I were talking," I clear my throat. "We think you've been doing a great job stepping in, and if you're interested in being the CEO, I would be honored to have you, Ma."
Mom's mouth falls open in surprise.
Gwen hoots. "Fuck yes! She'll do it! Ma, you are in your Girl Boss Era!"
"I...I'm not qualified, Alistair," Mom flushes.
"You are," I grip her hand where it still rests on my forearm. "No one cares about Dad's company like you. You deserve it. And I'll be here every step of the way."
"So will I," Viv adds with a soft smile. "As your official assistant. If...that's what you want?" she asks.
Mom smiles, her eyes going a bit glossy. "I don't know what to say."
"Say yes!" Gwen hoots. "Now!"
"I'm with her," Viv smirks.
"You're really staying?" my mom asks me, her eyes going even brighter.
"I'm staying. For good."
Mom throws her arms around me, attacking me with a hug.
I chuckle and kiss her cheek. "Kate Callahan, CEO," I say reverently.
"Has a nice ring to it," Viv adds.
"Hear, hear!" Gwen holds up her glass.
"Well..." Mom clears her throat, straightening out her blouse. "Then I accept."
"Woo!" Gwen jumps up and claps her hands. Viv squeezes my shoulder happily.
"Lord knows I need something to keep me busy," my mother teases.
We spend the rest of the dinner celebrating, talking business plans. Mom has lots of ideas, which doesn't surprise me. Viv has been helping her a lot. I hadn't realized how close the two of them had gotten. It makes me smile seeing them talk so excitedly about the future – our future. As a family.
There's still that small sense of doubt deep down. The doubt that I'm stealing Viv away like a thief in the night – away from her home, her family, all that's familiar to her.
She's still buzzing with excitement as we drive back to the house later.
"She seems so excited, Alistair," she laughs as we walk into the house, up to our room.
"She does," I smile down at her, "Thanks to you."
"Me?" Viv scoffs. "I did nothing!"
"You did. You gave her confidence. You gave her a whole fucking business plan," I lean into her, running my hands down her slender waist and parking them on her hips.
"Well...that's what I'm here for."
I bend down and whisper into her ear, "Are you here as my business partner, Miss Chang?"
Viv shivers in my arms a bit.
Her arms reach up and rest on my shoulders. "Why, yes, Alistair...I'm here to give you sage business advice. Tell me, what else can I teach you tonight?"
I cock a brow at her.
Then I tell her, "Get your clothes off and get in that fucking bed right now."
Viv giggles excitedly as she all but rips her sweater off.
I'm crawling over her in bed when her phone goes off. Viv ignores it as she leans up and pulls me down by my neck. The phone eventually ceases to ring, but then starts back up again.
We both sigh – knowing that two rings means we're needed for something.
I groan and roll off of her as she reaches over to retrieve her phone. A small frown comes over her face. "It's Chris."
She picks up the call on speaker. "Hello?"
"V...don't freak out..." Chris's voice comes out a bit muffled.
Viv sits ramrod straight.
"Oh my god," she hisses.
"I am okay. Everything is okay," Chris repeats. My heart fucking sinks.
Viv looks at me, panic in her eyes.
"I got clipped on my bike by a drunk driver," he sighs. "I'm okay."
"Oh my god!" Viv cries, her eyes instantly watering. She shoots out of the bed. "Where are you?"
"I'm at the hospital on campus. My rib is broken and I have a broken wrist from where I fell. Otherwise, I'm completely fine. My bike...not so much."
Viv runs to the closet and grabs her suitcase, starting to frantically pack it with clothes haphazardly.
"Chris," I say, "Where's the driver?"
"At the police station. I've already given my statements. Like I said, everything is okay. I'm fine."
"I'm booking a flight now," Viv says, her hands shaking.
"How long are they keeping you?" I ask.
"I'm getting released tomorrow morning. They want to keep me for observation just in case I have a concussion...which they don't think I do. Then I'm on bedrest till my ribs heal."
"How fast can I get a flight to San Francisco?!" Viv asks me, tears running down her cheeks, in a complete panic. I jump up and put my hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down.
"Jiějiě, I don't want you to come here. It's a waste of your time and energy. I'm completely fine. I promise!" Chris laughs a bit. Viv, on the other hand, is completely destroyed.
"Who is there with you?" I ask as Viv starts hyperventilating.
"My roommate, Ben and...um...Aisha."
"Who is Aisha?" Viv asks. "You didn't tell me about an Aisha! You have a girlfriend, and I don't even know? We just spent a week together!"
"Aisha isn't my girlfriend, um...I...look Viv, I just wanted to call to keep you in the loop. I'll call again after they discharge me, okay?"
"No. I'm going to be there soon. I'm coming to you."
"No. Vivian. Please. I do not want you to do that. Cal...tell her."
"Baby," I say, "He's fine. He's okay."
Viv is trying to control her breathing as tears roll down her sweet, beautiful cheeks. I reach up and wipe them away with my fingers. I kiss her forehead. But nothing calms her down. She needs to see her brother. And it's torture that I'm the reason she's so far away from him.
"By the time you'd even get here, best case scenario, I'll already be back in my dorm resting," Chris says. "Seriously. I love you, but do not worry. Okay?"
Viv rubs her lips together, looking so helpless...
She looks more destroyed than she did after her own attack.
And there is nothing I can do to make her feel better.
I rub her shoulders, kiss her forehead...and long after Chris hangs up, I assure her that he's okay, that it was only an accident, and everything is okay.
She eventually gets back into bed, but her crying doesn't stop.
"He's all I have, Alistair," she whimpers in the darkness of the room. "If I lose him..."
"You won't," I squeeze her shoulder.
"I can't lose him too."
"You won't," I repeat.
I pull her into me and scratch her back lightly till her crying stops, till the low sound of her light snoring echoes in the dark room.
My heart is fucking torn up.
Chicago is nowhere near Stanford, but at least it's on the same continent. At least, if she really needed to get to him, she could that same day.
I took that from her.
I trapped her here.
And I simply cannot live with that.
I get out my phone and text Ronan, telling him to prep travel for Viv to return to Chicago.
**********************************************
Viv
Everything hurts. The thought of my brother almost being killed by some drunk driver makes me puke my guts out. Cal is there through it all. He rubs my back as I kneel over the toilet the next morning in physical pain at being so far from him.
It's only after he's helped me clean up that I realize my suitcase is packed.
My big suitcase.
I stare at Cal for a long time, my lip uncontrollably quivering.
I shake my head, "Don't do this..."
"I want you to go, Vivi."
I press my wrists against my eyes, trying to stop the crying. It seems like I can't control it anymore.
"I just need to go see my brother...just see him...then I'll be back, okay?"
"No," Cal shakes his head with a frown. "You need time."
"Time?" I laugh angrily. "I don't need time! Don't tell me what I need!"
Cal sighs, running both hands through his hair, messing it quite a bit.
"You're going back to Chicago for the time being."
"Don't tell me what to do!" I throw a pillow at him angrily. "You can't let me go like that. I told you I'd be here, that I'd stay, and I meant it, Alistair!"
"I know, honey," he takes me in his arms and holds me. "I want that, too. But I need to know...I just need you to take the time you need back in Chicago. Get your things together. Think this through. Really, really think it through. If you stay here with me, you'll be far from everything you've ever known. Chris, Nessa, all of them...I want you to go back and really think about this."
"I don't NEED to think about this. I don't need to think about us. Do you?" I push him away, my tears stinging to the point of pain at this point.
He takes my hands. "Of course not. I'm one-thousand-fucking-percent in this for you. I told you that I love you. That you're it for me. And I meant it. But I cannot live with myself if I don't let you go back home. See your brother, talk to your friends...be with your people. I need you to do this. For me. So that I know I'm not ruining your fucking life forever."
"No," I shake my head. "I told you I wouldn't go. I mean what I say, too, Alistair."
"I know you do, baby."
"Don't baby me."
He grins and I want to shove him, but I can only hold him closer. I breathe him in. I know he needs this. Deep down, I know. He wants me to choose him, with all the other factors in front of me. I don't need to go to Chicago again to know I want to stay here and spend the rest of my life with him.
Like Chris told me, I'm allowed to do something for me...finally. And I will.
If Cal needs this, then I'll do it for him. I'll show him he's worth it all. It's a test. One I plan on passing.
"You're more stubborn than people give you credit for," I sigh into him.
He chuckles. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," I look up at him, standing on my tip toes. I kiss him long and slow, making sure he feels every ounce of it. "I'll go. I'll visit my brother. But trust me, Alistair Eoghan Callahan, I will choose you today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life..."
He smiles a bit, pushes my hair out of my face, "And I love that about you, but please, humor me?"
I swallow. I can't remember what it feels like without Cal, and I don't want to remember.
"I'll be back," I whisper.
"Go, Vivi. Go, and know I love you more than anything in this entire fucking world."
I'll show him. I'll choose him. And then this will be settled.
So, I'll go.