ASHER
RILEY LEAVES, COLE AND I WAIT.
He doesn't shut the car off. The music flows and it happens to be Chase Atlantic. The beat takes me back to Riley's bed, in her room.I remember my heart racing. Kissing her. Loving her. Being with her. Her smell, her taste, how pleasing she is to my eyes. Chase Atlantic isn't a group I listen to religiously but after that night, the songs have a whole new meaning to me. Just hearing the familiar sound drafts up a flashback in my brain.
"What the hell are you smiling about dude?" Cole asks, causing the flashback to evaporate.
I didn't realize I was smiling until he pointed it out. He won't want to hear the details about his sister and I wouldn't tell him either. "Nothing."It doesn't mean I stop smiling though. I physically can't.
"It's my sister."He concludes, giving me a look that he knows. "You're in love, man. She got you. In your head. In your heart. There's no other reason to be grinning at thin air right now. I should fucking kill you for liking her, I knew this would happen,"He says but he doesn't sound angry. "When you asked for her number that night, you talked to her for what felt like hours, man.Wasn't she supposed to be babysitting? We were in the bar getting fucked up and you were outside chatting it up with my sister I didn't forget."
I wave him off. "Yeah, yeah."
It's silent for a moment, then he says, "It's weird seeing her in your clothes but whatever. I'll pretend I didn't see,"He looks at me out of the corner of his eyes. "I'll let you guys live."
"Thanks man. Now why aren't you smiling huh? Come on, when was the last time you've been in love?"
Cole shakes his head, slouching in his seat. "Nah man, I don't do love. Don't turn this around on me."
I chuckle, nodding at his words. "That's right. What about that girl from the bar that wanted to come home with you? The one from a few weeks ago?"
I haven't seen her back at the house or hanging around the front yard waiting for Cole so I guess I should assume that he's never going to see her again. And honestly, I don't even remember what she looks like. If I saw her again, I probably wouldn't have recognized her. What was her name again?
Normally, Cole wheels girls in so much that they get addicted. Sometimes, it's not entirely his fault, they just don't want to let go. They never want to agree with his one and done rule. All the years I've known him, I've never seen him in love before. Never saw his eyes lit up for another girl. He's completely closed himself off.
"Nothing happened. I mean, she was pretty fucking wasted. I know you didn't realize but she was way too drunk and I only noticed when we were going upstairs."He admits, which I believe for obvious reasons. My friends are assholes but they also have good qualities. Cole's a decent guy. "So, I just gave her a place to stay for the night."
I pat his shoulder. "You're a gentleman."
"When she wakes up, she goes... can I tell my friends that we slept together? I already spent the night and they're going to give me so much shit if I don't have stories to tell."
"Woah."
"Yeah, dude and I was like... uhhh, knock yourself out. Make it believable all while on the floor."
"So you slept on the floor and gave her the bed? You'll be a good boyfriend one day."
"Stop looking at me. Shut up."
Cole and I talk some more, laughing here and there. We're on the topic of our upcoming game when Riley returns. She slips inside the car on the backseat, closing the door. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Stuff you won't care about right now,"Cole's the one to answer first, turning his face in her direction. "How'd it go?"
I turn around too, my face sinking into the side of the headrest. Riley's face is unreadable.
She looks at Cole then her eyes flicker to mine. She's still unreadable. Why? My heart races. Then she breaks out in a grin. Jesus. She had me for a second.
"I got in. I'm in the book show." The way she says it sounds like she doesn't believe it.
I blow out a breath of relief. "Are you serious?"
I knew how much that meant to her.
"I'm so serious. I can't believe it, I don't know how I'm breathing right now." She shines and it truly warms my heart.
"Woohoo!" Cole being exactly who he is honks the horn. A couple heads turn in the direction of the sound. "You deserve this, I know how hard you've worked."
Full lips lift in another smile. "Thanks Coleslaw."
"You deserve it. I'm glad everything worked out." I reach out and squeeze her thigh, slipping my hand away just as quickly.
"Like you said it would." She reminds me of our conversation prior, eyes glued to mine.
"Yeah," I nod, my own mouth lifting in a smile. "I did say that, didn't I?"
"So not expelled and got into the book show? You're on a roll." Cole says. "If you were expelled, you wouldn't be happy now right?"
He continues on. "You know Riles, we planned on starting a riot if you were expelled."
I sit up straight. "Who is we?"
"Eric, Tyler, Rhett, Asher, me. Convincing everyone else wouldn't be hard." My brother admits.
——
RILEY
When I walk into the apartment, my first stop is the kitchen where I get some water for my pink tulips. I set my puffer jacket to the side and get the vase ready for the center of the counter.
"Tell us everything." Kianna pipes up behind me.
I wasn't startled by her voice and presence. I expected my friends to be home and when I turned around, there Sutton and Mattie were gathering around me like a school of fish so I knew they'd not let it go. I'm not getting out of this. So... I tell them everything. About Jade. The Dean. Professor Grimshaw. The Book Show. I couldn't hide the excitement in me. I've worked tirelessly, all my Friday nights for this and now that it's happening without Jade as a block in the road was what I've been waiting for all this time.
After hugs and squeals and more hugs, Mattie stares at what I'm wearing like it caught her off guard. "Is that?" I've never seen her eyes widen like this before.
I nod before she could go further. "Yeah, it's Asher's sweatshirt." For some reason, I'm beaming when I say it.
Sutton's eyebrows already went up. "Okay... does that mean you guys are?"
"Mhm." This wasn't just a hookup friends with benefits type of thing. Asher said it himself. We were together now and it was strange to think but also nice.
We spent the night on the couch with pepperoni pizza that Sutton ordered for all of us while we did our assignments. I felt so happy, so full even though I didn't eat much all day. We were focused on the school work in front of us the entire time, most of the pizza ended up in the fridge by the time we were done. I slept like a baby afterwards. More than I have in a while. It was like a storm finally passed.
A few days later, it snowed. I've expected it for a while and it never came and when it did, it was full blown. White fluffy layers covering the ground outside. My car was frozen shut for days. Everyone's car was. It was deemed unsafe to go outside. Classes were canceled and I spent the time studying for finals which wasn't too hard on my end because mine would mostly be physicals unlike Mattie's, Sutton's and Kianna's. Professors exhausted our emails everyday.
It was Sunday now, a whole five days after my hearing and speaking with Professor Grimshaw. My hair's been in a low bun for four days and as I'm scratching my itchy scalp, Kie pushes her head through the gap of my door. "Hey." She greets in a chirpy voice. The baby pink color of her comfy knit loungewear pokes through the section of my bedroom door.
I, on the other hand, am just wearing Asher's sweater that I washed yesterday. It's way too comfortable to put down and I won't be giving it back either. It's mine now.
"Hey,"I sit up on my bed, gesturing for Kie to come on in. "What's up?"
"I was thinking..." Kie bites her lips, taking a spot on my bed. "Since we've been trapped inside for a while and we can go outside now, I was wondering if we could do something. I need some air."
"Like a walk?"I wonder, it feels like I haven't stepped outside in forever. "It's starting to feel suffocating so yeah, I mean, I wouldn't mind going out."
"We can go to the mall and look around. Then probably get groceries too."
"That sounds good. I'll get ready."I pull my hair from the loose bun and head towards my closet.
Thirty minutes later, I look decent. I managed to take a quick shower and got dressed. Beanie. Gloves. Coat. Boots. I'm driving my car today. My friends decided that it's best if they all just came with me. Mattie's car was much more comfortable than mine was, I mean, my car was like my baby I'd had since I was sixteen and it meant a lot to me even though it's been to the repair shop more times than I can count. I didn't want the fanciest car, I just wanted something that would take me from point A to point B and it does that.
Even though it could be affordable at the time, it didn't mean I wanted a Range Rover or a big red Jeep. I wanted to get those things on my own. With my own money. Which is why I'm okay. Mattie's was one of the nicest cars I've ever seen just like Asher's.
I park my car outside the mall. My friends and I head inside. People were dressed just like us. With beanies and coats and such. It was like a dream seeing how the weather changed drastically. One minute leaves were falling from trees and the next the trees were naked, empty branches sticking out in the air like an old beggar's hand.
At first, we were just eyeing the stuff displayed. Jewelry, training sneakers and summer clothes were on sale. We bounced from store to store, up and down the escalators. It's a good workout. This was better than being trapped inside my room or the apartment as a whole. The mall was lively, the chatter of others ringing into the air along with the pop music blasting everywhere. They seem to be playing Dua Lipa and Camila Cabello's music. Since we got here at least. Big smiles were on people's faces, I bet some of them were doing early Christmas shopping for their families.
Kie begins to eye the food court on the ground floor but Mattie drags us inside one of the stores before anyone could leap. She picked out a pink Michael Kors snow boot asking if we liked it. She was not buying it for herself, she was getting it for her girlfriend.
As we're leaving, my eyes meet a familiar pair.
"Riley?" He says, almost surprised to see me. He was surprised.
I glance at Kianna, Sutton, Mattie. It was their idea to come to the mall. Why didn't anyone tell me about this? They shoot me looks of 'we really didn't know he worked here'. It may look like they knew but I know they didn't because they're wearing the same facial expression as I am.
I muster a smile on my face, trying not to be awkward. "Julian, you work here..."I notice that he's wearing a uniform with a name tag taped to his chest. That's great. So great. "Wow, I didn't know. How are you?"I'm not sure I'm in the position to ask about his well-being but I don't know what else to say. I'm caught off guard here.
"Yeah, I did night shifts after—"He pauses but I know what he means. After I cut things off with him, I'm on board here. How long has it been since then? "Uh, I'm doing good. You?"
"I'm also doing well." God. This is so awkward.
"We'll be right over there. You'll be ok?" Sutton asks, I know she's doing this because my friends won't want to hear whatever conversation that's supposed to happen. There will be one given the way things happened between Julian and I.
I nod and Sutton squeezes my arm and lets go, backing away.
Julian scratches the side of his neck. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said when you ended things with me. I was pissed and my ego and my pride got the best of me."
He looks so different now. He's got a mustache that makes him look ten times older than he actually is.
"I couldn't give you what you needed."He knows what I mean. I don't need to voice it out loud.
"Doesn't mean I should've called you a cold hearted bitch. It was an asshole move even for me."Julian admits, eyes boring into mine. "You look good though."He cracks a smile, one of the same smiles he'd give me when we used to hang out.
Before I could say anything, a guy with a buzz cut files the space beside Julian. He's wearing the same uniform and I wonder how far that store is from where we're standing right now. I recognized him. I just don't remember his name, he whispers something but only he doesn't really whisper. He thinks he does but I heard exactly what he said.
Come on dude, movie theater slut seriously?
Hot rage plunges through my veins. My blood runs thick and violent inside of my body. "What did you just say? Say to my face asshole, you don't need to whisper."
It felt like a punch in the stomach that I was reduced to a 'movie theater slut'. I mean, what the fuck? I knew guys gossiped just as much as girls did but all my friends knew Julian by his name. No one was calling him a movie theater fingering guy. We weren't strangers. Is it that his friend here didn't remember my name? Granted, I couldn't remember him either but I'd never refer to him in a matter like that.
Julian told everyone about what happened at the movies that night. Sure, I did too but my friends didn't talk about it like that.
Julian's face went white. I'm reminded of how he told me that I looked good a while ago and the smile he gave, suddenly it made me sick. Why would he even ask me to his girlfriend back then if this was how he was speaking about me to his friends?
"I didn't say anything mamas." The way he spoke made me want to lift my hand and slap him across the face.
"You called me a movie theater slut."
The guy couldn't believe I'd said it out loud, that I'd really heard him.
"Is that what you told your friends? That I'm slut when you were literally begging to be with me?" I ask Julian.
"N-no!"Something about the way his voice caves and the expression on his face tells me that he's lying.
That's why he didn't hesitate to call me a cold hearted bitch because that was how it was for him. That's how he treated women and spoke. His friends too. But Julian was bragging to his friends, berating me and behind closed doors he was begging to be with me. He's really an asshole. Surely I wasn't fingering myself. Why does it always have to be the girls that get shamed? What does that make Julian? The guy who takes girls to the movie theater and finger them there?
To think that I actually liked Julian at one point in my life grossed me out now. "I hope you also told him that I liked to be fingered better because you didn't know how to fuck. Your dick is way too small and you can never find rhythm."It's ruthless and it's a soccer punch to a boy's ego but I didn't care. I wanted to hit him where it hurts.
"Oh shit." Buzzcut's mouth hangs open and then he laughs at his own friend.
He was wrong to think I wasn't swinging for him next. "As for you, I'm a slut you'll never get to fuck. So keep dreaming."
"I like 'em spicy." I hate the look on his face when he says it.
"Shut up man."Julian shoves him a little.
The action caused my friends to look in our direction.
"And I like 'em smart, respectful, with bigger dicks and oh, their buzzcut not looking as fucked up as yours. You fall short in every requirement. Sucks."
I watched him touch his head and it fueled me to go even further. Was he going to say something? I don't know and I don't care. I'm not giving him the chance.
I lift my hand as if to stop him from uttering anything else. "And I don't wanna hear you try to defend yourself. A great guy doesn't need to whisper to another guy referring to a girl as a slut. You thought you had power but the truth is you feel small in a university with a bunch of guys that are better than you so you criticize and pick on women. Do better. It's pathetic. You're a pathetic simpleton who doesn't deserve to be in the presence of women, I actually feel bad for your mothers,"I shake my head. "Quickly get away from me. The garbage truck will come and pick you guys up in two seconds, you're both trash."
My friends made their way over, realizing that something was wrong.
"She really is a bitch." Buzzcut says, turning to walk away with Julian. "She's got a mouth on her."
I don't hesitate, I just say it without thinking. "Just like you."
Buzzcut turns to look at me with anger in his eyes. "What?"
Oh. So he can call me anything but I can't do the same? "You heard exactly what was said. If I'm a bitch, so are you."
He looked so mad. I want to laugh. Kie was ready to fight but I stood in front of her.
"Come on." Julian pulls Buzzcut forward and away from us.
"Men are such assholes." Mattie shakes her head, watching them walk away. "You okay?"
"Yeah."
"I can't believe you liked Julian and so did we." Sutton mutters, holding onto my right arm.
"Yeah, me neither." I know now that there was a reason why I never felt safe with Julian.
"Asher would never do anything like that." Kie chimes in.
"Do you know Asher?" I give her a look, trying to be serious and not laugh in this situation. It's funny how before Asher I could never commit and with him, I feel like I can. I want to. I am.
"Not really and I'm not swearing for any guy. It's just I don't see Asher ever doing that." Kie walks in the direction of the food court. "Besides, Cole wouldn't have that."
"Yeah," Sutton nods her head in agreement. "Okay, so after we eat, I wanna know if I've missed anything from the grocery list okay?"