After the second of January things got back to normal, well as normal as could be in this kpop, Bangtan life you lived.
You finally used the skating tickets and backstage met one of the young girls who was a fourth on the team and as you talked to her and showed her some of the reels she was only fourteen but she was in awe of you.
"I saw your My Immortal By Evanescence skate. You and your partner it was so beautiful, you are a single now?"
Gulping back tears you are surprised sometimes at the pain that comes and you can barely speak the words. "Yes, umm my partner died." You hurry to say.
"Oh I'm sorry. That is very hard for you."
"Thank you, yes it was."
But by the end of the evening you had passed out your card and you felt that you had at least one very interested. As you walked to where the parking lot was ready to get in your car you lurch and gasp for breath. Your whole body felt like it was on fire and itchy but the worst was that you were out of breath like you had been running.
Sitting behind the wheel you wait until your body is back to normal and other then being very tired you promised yourself you would turn in early. When you got home you were happy but also to tired to wake Hobi except to say.
"I'm so tired today, so I'm going to bed to sleep if you want to come sleep there."
He blinks and sleepily gets up. "I was waiting for you but I wasn't feeling good and just sat down and then you were here."
Once in your room you both barely manage to get your outer clothes off and you both lethargically climb into bed and fall asleep instantly.
Forty eight hours later after Jungkook had been given a cortisone shot that Jin reached out and told about him being in the hospital and why. But your reaction was twice as angry.
All of them kind of took this as a it's something that happens things. But giving your mate shots that he didn't need and making him sick was beyond anything acceptable to you and you were more then a little angry that they didn't see the seriousness.
"I have never skated so hard and trust me I put in twelve hours days at times. Never have I felt so tired as I have. It effected me like as if I had got them."
Hobi's nodding. "I couldn't keep my eyes open, maybe because we have known him longer? But I felt everything Jin did."
"It was his pain for me, I felt that and his confusion." Yoongi says and you hold his hand in yours as he chokes up.
Your other hand reaches out to swat Jungkooks leg. "Stop itching it." You say as he is scratching at his shoulder earnestly.
But your mind is stuck on something else and then it's gone.
You may be right. I'll have to ask them but not till we are all home again. We are still one away from deciding.
Inwardly you glare at the holdout and then gently touch his thigh with your nail knowing it would set Jungkook off scratching. Reason 7,142,128 to be glad when you guys come back.
I'll be back for good on June twelfth of 2024. BTS will be eleven.
I know my love. But I need you after you fill my Army heart. The other one will always be there too, and if I know your love for them as I do. I know you have something planned for this anniversary too.
I'll be there for ours in April, even if I have to take leave and you come visit close to base.
You smile listening to the men discuss and sometimes argue and finally ask. "What's our anniversary?"
The room deadens to a silence and even Jin you hear go like static. But when they all look at Namjoon as leader he hems and haws and clears his throat a couple of times before finally saying.
"Honey, now I know what you would like me to say. But I can't because it's not the same."
"I count our anniversary as the day we met."
"And we count ours as when we first kissed. We all agree on that, that's when it felt official."
You both look at Jungkook and he is still scratching but stops at your glare. But Taehyung comes over with the calamine lotion and you both start dabbing it on the sore spots he has made and is pointing at.
"Okay just for arguments sake. Let's say that I agree that our kisses are our anniversaries. What would the exchange for that be?"
Taehyung looks at Jungkook who is pointing to his thigh after pulling down his CK shorts to his knees. "It's called blind faith, if you are willing to switch next time and let us each have our own anniversaries. Well..." He says trailing off.
Jungkook rights himself as Tae is spotting at his knees and pulling you closer he whispers in your mind his mouth close to yours, and before he can even finish you say. "Of course our anniversaries would be our first kiss. Changing was just a part of the ritual."
You would have changed anything for what was promised to you by Jungkook and if he said it could happen you were going to take a leap of faith and believe in him and go with your heart. But you feel the shift in the timeline that you hadn't before that this was right.
It is the right thing.
You have to trust him.
Your prize for doing so
is so earned, he finally
decided. It's four to three
and you'll find out after
Jin is back plus one more.
Reading Chaytons message you knew what your prize was. You had won a ruby red card with actual rubies on it. But the card itself wasn't the prize. The painted in gold image was. There was an obviously pregnant woman on it but it said final two.
Does the card get
pulled into play?
Are you talking
about the red card?
Then yes, now since
it's the second to last.
You can use it for whatever
we all know about it now.
Looking at all the men you say. "After tonight, until we are together again and your done with your enlistments. Unless we are physically together between now and then I'm going to pull back a little. I think something like this is risky. We all could have gotten very hurt from Ssaeng."
Namjoon nods. "I have to agree as leader of Bangtan. We are very bonded even without Angelique we were. But this is harmful, some things should be less physical awareness of."
"But not all, some things we should be able to help with." Jimin says from his spot on the floor the couch against his back as he watched the fake flames smiling. "I love you Angelique but can you imagine getting a stomach or back cramp on stage? We've had enough of pain on stage."
You burst out laughing. "Is that what this exchange is about? Your holdout was period pain?" But you feel Jin yawning so closing the door slightly to him you say. Get some sleep mi papi chulo. But the drugs have made him sleepy enough that he barely says good night.
To the group you say. "I'm tired too, we'll have to discuss this later when I can focus on it better. It was no fair distracting me with Jin to bring this up. Women are made to have babies there are drugs to ease the pain. If and when I'm pregnant what decisions are made will be for the best of me and our child. Together! If I say I can handle something I can. If I need a tap in then I'll ask."
You watch as the air they had been holding in seems to untighten. "The pain is part of it, if you want to take away from it then Yoongi can have some sleepless nights, and Jungkook will have aversion to foods and their smells." You say jokingly.
"Now come on and find your rooms. No one's going out in that weather and we aren't dragging the workers out tonight."
Yoongi has gone into the kitchen followed by an eager Jungkook to make some food. You would join them but first you needed to have a discussion.
You stand and walking over to Jimin you sit beside him and watch the fires of the log seem to pulse. "A real fire is better I believe. I like the fire pit you had put outside."
"I like it to." Sending out a thought of the skewer pack and marshmallows you thought of the supplies you had gotten as a gift from Heuning Kai and Beomgyu who were very happy that you liked S'mores.
Five voices answer back yes and Jimin next to you laughs. "I like peeling the layers off and then melting it more."
"The marshmallow is my favorite part then the chocolate."
"What about the cracker?"
Your hand is stroking the fur and you grab it suddenly. "They are part of s'mores but I never got into them. Jason was the one who loved grahams. He'd eat a whole box and carried his circus animals box with him. His cookie purse he said. Then had to kick this bullies ass for calling him gay. Except he didn't use a nice word."
Jimin is quiet for a minute then speaks in a whisper. "I would never be ashamed of the love I have for my brothers. No matter what shape it takes, but I understand the need for having to be discreet as not everyone has the same feelings or reactions. Not to be stereotypical, but what exactly was your and Jason's relationship?"
You are about to scoff at the typical gay ice skater stereotype but he continues. "You were a virgin so to speak when we met. Why did you never have sex with him? If you don't mind answering?"
You look at him suddenly and shrug. "You know it's weird but we were just comfortable around each other. I never felt the need to kiss him when we were alone, we were usually busy with stuff."
He laughs. "I have also been busy with stuff. I still want you. Now how about we get some of those blankets we have in the linen closet and a bag with your s'mores supplies. The vending machine on the roof is stocked with whatever else we can need. Including that hot water dispenser."
He helps you to stand and pulled up against his body you whisper. "If you put your ninja skills to work and hurry maybe you and I can use the blankets to cuddle up first?"
"See stuff."
When the others appeared later your lips were red and so was your neck from all of yours and Jimin's kissing.
The men had grabbed things that they wanted to snack on as you say between Jimin's open legs, you were busy making Jungkook a smore trying to concentrate as Jimin's hand were moving up and down your rib cage distracting you. But his words cause you to still when he says.
"I was talking with Angelique earlier."
Jungkook smirks pointing to Jimin's neck. "I don't think that word means what you think it does."
"You know better then anyone that Jimin likes biting necks." You say handing him his treat which he eats while blushing.
"Back to what I was saying." He says getting back on topic. "We had all been with girls, women before. Even the kissing, or the cute and sweet moments. Did it ever feel as perfect as it does now?"
The others are all quick to agree and they are all smiling looking at you waiting for your answer. "Before you guys I only had three other kisses."
They all seem to lean forward and even Jimin has pressed harder.
"And no this isn't the night to tell you about Trish and I. You guys will never believe it anyway." You wait as they all grumble and then smiling you continue.
"Rafael was the first guy I wanted to kiss. Him being older was exciting, not only could he drive but he worked and had his own car, and a place with a roommate." Your hands are busy roasting more marshmallows so speaking these memories comes easily.
"Rafael and Jason disliked each other from the first time they met. But I wasn't looking for a chaperone, so that was fine. I saw Jason who was my friend and partner after school and my boyfriend in the evening. So when we broke up and I started practicing more I had to listen to lectures about what a creep he had been."
Taehyung has sighed. "But then you had Jason."
"Yes, how ever brief we were friends before being playmates so to speak. Working together and being professional I had never even suspected he liked me that way until he kissed me. I had been sad that night thinking I would never find my mate. And if they did they wouldn't want me because of my taste in men."
You take a sip of the cocoa that Namjoon had just brought you. And you realize how much you liked the Asian element of sharing. Food always brought people together, but it was more sharing the bites of food. You could hear Jimin behind you slurping the ramen that Yoongi had made for himself.
And there must have been some exchange as Jimin moves and Yoongi is behind you getting comfortable as he adjusts the blanket around his legs and you laugh as he puts one of his ear warmers over your hair and ears. "Keep going babe, we've never really talked about this."
You knew part of that was because they were so unwillingly to share some of theirs with you. But you don't want to stop the evening. "Well I was very surprised to kiss him back, but it just kind of seemed natural, we were young and friends and it kind of seemed more like he was my boyfriend but unofficially."
"Like Army. We are theirs and they are ours." Namjoon says from his spot on a chair, his legs over the arm as he looks out at the stars. "Sometimes I look at the stars and how many Army all over the world are looking at the same sky as me."
Hobi is quiet but you can hear the emotion in his voice and words. "I suspected for a long time that my mate was in the United States. This was of course before we knew anything about the intricacies. But it scared me."
Namjoon chuckles his voice smooth like aged whisky as he says. "I had said before so many times that you guys won't have me around always and what if you met an American mate or Japanese?"
But he looks confused and a little guilty before closing his eyes again but it's Jungkook who surprises you the most. "When I came to America the first time I felt a change in the air, but I just thought it was excitement about being in America again."
Namjoon is sitting up straighter. "Jungkookie, you said again? Did you feel it the first time you were here the year before we all came together?"
Jungkook has moved into his version of the outer limits so you all wait and when he comes back he says. "The first time I came by myself, it was more then excitement, I knew as the plane entered America that my mate was there and I had a month to find her while also learning dance."
"Like a pull behind your navel?" You ask and watch as all the men nod as Yoongi tightens his arms.
"Maybe it's because of who I am, but I didn't feel it until we went to the beach. The hot sand touched my toes and it shocked me because I knew without a doubt my mate had walked on the beach. I just wasn't expecting all of you."
Sharing a marshmallow with Yoongi you say. "Maybe that's why I didn't mind waiting. Jason said we had time for all that, and he was right we were busy always and it didn't seem like a big deal. So we were going to wait until I was of age and see."
Taehyung gasps. "When you have said virgin I thought at least fooling around?"
You shake your head laughing. "No, and Rafael never got past grabbing my ass once or twice. I never wanted to do it with him either." But the word either gives you pause. Had you wanted to with Jason or was he just comfortable?
"I can't get enough of you guys, and if we couldn't heal each other I wouldn't even care. No pain no gain, I crave being around you."
"But did you feel the pull of us when we came to America?"
You sigh wishing you could give them an answer that was adequate. "It's hard to answer that, I was Army from the start, I listened to SHINee and Big Bang and so many other amazing groups. But your debut drew me in. I thought it was just excitement at being at a concert or knowing you were traveling America performing."
Making sure you snuggled tighter as a chill breezes through you giggle. "I was horny for you even then. Is that what you are saying? Did Jason never stand a chance?"
But it is dawning on you that he didn't and you say. "I wish you could have met him, you would have all liked him."
"You were his beard." Jimin says matter of factly. And you sit thinking of it and what the words mean.
"Do you think he kissed me to protect me from other guys? No that can't be we broke up when I was sixteen and got back together again. Remember it was high school and dramatic."
Jungkook laughs hard and long and when he stops finally wiping tears he says. "In school there was a girl in my grade and she traded me her banana milk to hold her hand for two days. We were twelve, and she liked another guy actually. He got jealous and she broke up with me to date him."
"Silly girl." You say wrinkling your nose at him.
"Very silly, she's a lesbian now, she's still a good friend. I've been her beard a couple of times."
Looking at him you think back wondering about it but the tears start coming and you can't seem to get them to stop. "If that's true and Jason was gay then his death was for nothing because Rafael had no reason to be jealous of anything."
You only wonder about it aloud one more time but it's back inside, warm and cozy next to the fire place with Jimin that he had bought you as an early first of the year present for your room alone. "I never thought about him as being gay, he never talked about it but so many things click now, I don't see how I didn't see it?"
"Maybe you didn't want to see it, maybe he didn't want you to. I've always liked Jungkook but I kept it locked away out of our friendship. Maybe Jason did too?" Jimin says from in front of the fire mesmerized by the fake flames.
Your a little indignant as you respond. "I would never have judged him for it."
"It's hard for people to predict emotions or the world would be better to each other. Maybe he was waiting to see if you were mates."
"But if he is or was gay how would we have kids?"
He scoffs. "Now your insulting my sex. I get just as hard for you as I do for Jungkook. Both of your touches excite me differently. There are lots of species that have sex with both female and males."
"Sex without love and passion is just sex."
"Sometimes it's like that, it doesn't make it wrong. Maybe next time sit down and have this conversation with Jason. Maybe he wasn't gay but bisexual, who knows but him."
Taking the towel from your hair that had smelled smoky from upstairs and now spotted a gummy bear scent that Jimin kept sniffing the air. "I've never thought about asking him that because it's never come up. I just wait for him to enter my life and enjoy my time with him."
Suddenly the door bursts open and Namjoon comes in half dressed and panting from sprinting down the hall.
"We've been going about this wrong Angelique. What if you didn't have to wait for it to be over? What if you could change that, would you go down that road?"
But his saying the words aloud are like a dam and Jimin feels it and when you hear the others voices raising in curiosity before they all hurry to huddle in your room and mainly at your bed you are gathered around your phone watching as you type up a text and hit send.
The tunnels
The locked one
The one I said to
Never let me down?
What memories are there?
Chaytons response comes fast and you all gasp at the words.
I'll be on the first flight
I can get to Korea.
We'll discuss it in person.
Bring my girlfriend please?
I'll text her to
come for dinner.