Jimin stirred a little, groaning lightly in his sleep. The more he surfaced from his sleep, the harder his head pounded. He forced his heavy eyelids open, squinting as he took in the startling white of everything around him. His mind slowly started to register the machines circling around him, the IV in his arm, the cords connected to him, the breathing mask situated over his face. He forced himself to sit up inch by painful inch. His gaze dropped to his body and he paled as the panic set in. He was frail looking and pale at best. The dress he'd worn to Yoongi's trial had been replaced by a white and yellow polka dotted hospital gown. His skin looked far more sickly than what he remembered, and he could see his veins now.
Namjoon trudged into Jimin's hospital room, two cups of coffee in his hands and snacks tucked under his arm.
"Jin? Baby, you awake? I brought coffee and-" Namjoon's words died in his throat as his gaze landed on an awake Jimin. He hastily put the coffees down and tossed the snacks on the tray table before running out of the room.
"I need a nurse! He's awake! Nurse!"
Jin jolted awake from the sudden shouting in the hallway. His eyes snapped open as he sat up frantically, nearly tumbling out of the uncomfortable hospital chair in the process. He searched the room wildly, his frenzied and sleep filled gaze falling on Jimin sitting upright in bed. Their gazes locked and Jin's filled with tears as he scrambled out of his seat, throwing his arms around Jimin.
"Oh God J-Jiminie, you're awake! I was so worried! How do you feel? You just p-passed out! T-Then you s-started b-b-bleeding!" Jin's words came out in a frantic, jumbled mess that Jimin could barely comprehend in his dazed state.
Jin pulled back from his hug when Jimin didn't speak or hug him back. He grabbed his hands, cradling them delicately as he sniffed back tears. Jimin offered up a tiny, exhausted smile and weakly squeezed his hands.
"I-I'm so sorry... a-about Yoongi..." Jin whispered, his words broken up by soft sobs.
Jimin's gaze dropped and filled with unshed tears. The pain flashed across his face, mingling with the lingering depression that never seemed to leave his eyes. He squeezed Jin's hands again, not having the strength to speak quite yet. Although he didn't need to, his grief was more than evident. Jin had no trouble reading his best friend's exhausted and grief stricken expressions.
Namjoon rushed back in with a nurse at his side. She was the nurse assigned specifically to Jimin. She was a young African American girl and had her caramel brown and maroon colored braids pulled back into a bun atop her head. She was shorter, around 5'4 and light set. She had a warm, friendly smile and her dark brown eyes sparkled with kindness. She was the only calm one in the room.
The nurse walked around Jimin's bed and to his side, setting her clipboard aside as she leaned over him. "Hello Jimin-ssi, do you remember me? I'm your nurse. You were in and out when they brought you in, so it's okay if you don't remember me. I'm nurse Jung Amina. You can call me Amina or Nurse Jung, whichever you prefer! Is it okay if I check your vitals and senses?"
Jimin gave a little nod as he watched the nurse. Her calm and quiet presence was welcoming and comforting. It soothed his racing heart and he quickly found himself liking the nurse's presence and personality.
Amina smiled sweetly at him as she talked him through everything she checked. She started with his eyes, then his breathing, then she listened to his heart, then his throat, then she set her hands over his lower abdomen and applied gentle pressure as she felt his lower abdomen.
"Any pain, Jimin-ssi?" She questioned softly.
Jimin shook his head as she moved her hands, applying pressure to a few different places. When she applied pressure to a spot towards the center of his lower abdomen, however, he flinched and let out a small whimper.
Amina removed her hands quickly and flashed him an apologetic smile, "Hurts there?"
Jimin nodded, squeezing Jin's hands who gave him a hug and praised him for being so brave. They hadn't let go of one another's hands the entire time. Jin had always been motherly to him and now was no different, especially since his best friend was laying in a hospital.
Amina jotted down her notes on his condition before perching on the edge of Jimin's bed, clipboard in hand.
"Jimin-ssi, while you were asleep we went ahead and ran some tests to find out why you passed out and bled from your lower region. We have not shared the results yet simply because we wanted to wait until you were fully awake. Jimin-ssi, you were about nine weeks pregnant, but I'm sorry to inform you that you've had a miscarriage. Your body was too malnourished, sleep deprived and stressed to continue to carry your baby. I'm so very sorry, Jimin-ssi. This won't hurt your fertility, and if you wait a few weeks then you and your partner can try again. Did you know you were pregnant?"
Jimin's heart beat quickened, skipping a beat as the word miscarriage echoed in his thoughts. Tears rolled down his cheeks silently as he let go of Jin's hands and clutched his now empty stomach. The guilt, grief and pain of losing his and Yoongi's child barreled into him, knocking the air out of him as it strangled what little happiness he had left. He had been ready to take a test and sacrifice everything he could for this baby, but he would never get the chance to even meet them now. Amina stood up and gently laid a weighted anxiety blanket over Jimin to soothe him. Jin turned away as the grief pouring out of Jimin was suffocating him. He wanted to be there for Jimin, but watching him shatter all over again broke him in a way he would never recover from. He broke down in tears as he hurried out of the room, frantically trying to conceal his reaction so he wouldn't further Jimin's pain. It wasn't his baby, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt immensely.
Namjoon hesitated before following Jin out and wrapping him in a tight hug. He didn't say anything, just cradled his sobbing lover and let the situation wash over them both. He couldn't speak. There was nothing anyone could say to comfort anyone in a situation like this. He couldn't imagine how Jimin felt, and still his mind wandered to how Yoongi would react. How would the couple cope with this loss if they couldn't even see one another? They never even got the chance to embrace the idea of a child.
Amina sat with Jimin, holding his hands and speaking softly with him. She spent two hours sitting and talking him through the emotions. She'd given miscarriage news before, and she'd even had one herself. She understood the emotions washing over Jimin, she understood his grief and guilt. She understood better than anyone else would. She wasn't a therapist, but she could offer some insight from her own experience. Her soothing talking guided Jimin through the barrage of emotions threatening to drown him. Amina stayed with him as long as he needed to ensure he wouldn't do something rash if she left. Another hour passed before his emotions began to settle. His tears had slowed now that the news had sunk in and he was beginning to come to terms with it. Amina waited until he had fallen fast asleep before she stood up and left to find Jin and Namjoon. They hadn't had the miscarriage, but she knew they were also facing difficult emotions with the reality of the situation.
She found them sat on a bench next to some vending machines down the hallway. Jin had his head resting on Namjoon's shoulder as he tried to stomach a granola bar. Namjoon had his arms wrapped around his partner as he acted as Jin's rock. Amina approached them slowly, giving them a small smile as she stopped in front of them.
"Namjoon and Jin, correct?" She asked, smiling a little more when they nodded.
"I just wanted to update you both on Jimin-ssi's condition and some symptoms to look out for over the next few days and weeks. He will most likely experience soreness, tiredness, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, abdominal pain and cramping, and back pain. It is crucial that you both appear as positive as possible for him to help keep him from slipping into a negative headspace. I will have the hospital's therapist for those who miscarry come by and speak with him every day that he is here with us. Then I will recommend another therapist for him to continue seeing after he is discharged. He will be with us for about a week or so as we get his health back to where it should be. He is both malnourished and a little dehydrated. The hospital psychiatrist will be meeting with him tomorrow and will most likely be moving him onto antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. She will also assess whether he needs to be monitored or not for suicidal tendencies. He may need someone to stay with him after he is discharged and help him get into a rhythm before he can live alone. I've heard that his partner is," She hesitated and chose her words carefully, "not available at the moment, so it will fall to the both of you or his family."
Jin straightened up, nodding quickly as he felt himself coming back to life at having a direct method of helping Jimin. "We understand, thank you Nurse Amina. You've been awesome. We'll do everything we can to help him. We're pretty much all the family he has left. May we go back in and see him now?"
"Of course, he's sleeping now so please allow him to rest as much as possible. Once he wakes please call for me and I will remove his oxygen mask as he no longer needs it now that he's awake and breathing fully without difficulty. I will also bring by dinner once it arrives. Once he wakes, we will need to coax him into eating." Amina smiled gently at them as she spoke.
"Thank you so much. Come on Joonie, lets go. We need to be there incase Jiminie wakes up soon," Jin stood up quickly, flashing the nurse a quick smile as he bowed to her. Amina smiled back politely and bowed to them both before heading back to the nurse's station.
Namjoon stood up, grabbing Jin's hand and intertwining their fingers as the couple worked their way back to Jimin's room. Once they entered they stayed silent so they wouldn't wake Jimin. Namjoon sat in the chair Jin was in previously and Jin sat on his lap. Namjoon handed Jin his coffee and the pair ate their snacks and drank coffee in place of a proper dinner as they watched over Jimin.
The couple talked quietly and took turns napping as they waited for Jimin to wake up. They had only gone home briefly a few hours ago to shower and change clothes. It was officially the night after the trial and after the one trip home, the couple hadn't left Jimin's side. They were determined to stay with him as long as they could. They hoped they could coax Jimin into eating some dinner before they were kicked out when visiting hours end.
The couple considered themselves lucky that the media hadn't been allowed into the courtroom or the hospital. They would've made a spectacle out of Jimin passing out and bleeding. The media had obviously seen the ambulance and Jimin being taken away in it, but they hadn't been allowed into the hospital despite them constantly trying to get in. Jimin's ambulance ride and Yoongi's guilty verdict had been all over the news ever since the trial concluded. The couple hadn't turned on the TV in the hospital room. Namjoon and Jin had cut off their phones and chose to go media silent so they could focus on Jimin. They wanted to speak with Yoongi or his attorney to update him on Jimin's condition incase no one was telling him anything, but if they turned their phones on they'd be overwhelmed by the calls and texts and media posts.
They had expected Jimin's parents to show up at the hospital eventually, but they never did. They didn't call or visit despite their son's ambulance emergency being blasted across every news outlet in a fifteen mile radius. There was no way they hadn't heard about Jimin by now.
Jimin didn't wake until around nine that night, a half hour before visiting hours would end. Jin was awake and coloring a get well soon card a nurse had given him after seeing how bored he was. Jimin peeled his eyes open slowly. He watched Jin for a long moment before he sat up a little and finally caught Jin's attention. Namjoon lay fast asleep on the tiny couch in the room, his legs hanging off the end and his head propped up on a small pillow Amina had brought him.
"Hey Jiminie..." Jin smiled softly and stood up, moving to sit on the edge of the bed next to him. He waited patiently for Jimin's eyes to focus and the clarity to return to them as his brain fully woke up.
"Hyung... I... I'm in a..." Jimin whispered, voice clouded with confusion as he trailed off. He glanced around, his brain attempting to catch up to where he was and why.
"A hospital. You're in a hospital, Jiminie. You passed out after Yoongi's trial and had a... a miscarriage so we called an ambulance and you've been in the hospital since." Jin stated softly. He reached up, brushing Jimin's bangs out of his eyes as he studied his expression and watched the memories catch up to him.
"How are you feeling?"
"Sore... and very sad..." Jimin admitted softly, glancing down sullenly as he rubbed his stomach.
Jin set his hand over Jimin's gently and offered him a comforting smile, "Losing the baby wasn't your fault, okay? You were under a lot of stress and things just weren't right for your body to carry a baby right now. It was not your fault, do you understand me?"
Jimin sighed and pursed his lips as he tried to convince himself Jin was right, but his heart blackened with guilt, "I know... and my brain knows that, hyung... I just... what if I had eaten just a little more? Or tested earlier? I could've gotten help... I... I could've... I wouldn't have lost..." His voice faltered as the grief strangled his words.
Jin wrapped him in a gentle hug, careful of all the wires and cords attached to him as he tried to comfort him as best he could, "I will never be able to understand what you're going through or how you feel. But I can listen and I can offer comfort. I will be here with you for this whole process. I love you, Jiminie..."
"I love you too, hyung... thank you for being my best friend. I couldn't ask for anyone better," Jimin whispered. He held onto Jin and sank into the comfort of his childhood friend as the grief and guilt washed over him.
Jin called for the nurse when they finally pulled away from the hug a few minutes later. Amina popped into the room within a few minutes of Jin's call, a gentle smile on her face.
"Ah Jimin-ssi! Did you sleep okay? I brought your dinner and some medication to help with any possible infections from the miscarriage and any discomfort." Amina set up Jimin's tray over his bed and set his dinner on it that she'd saved for him.
She helped him sit up in bed and removed his oxygen mask carefully. She set a little cup of pills in his hand and explained them again before allowing him to take the medications.
"Now Jimin-ssi, if you need anything like the bathroom or a shower, just buzz the nurse's button for me. Here's the remote to the TV up there and I'm gonna check up on you every two hours, okay? Are you breathing okay?"
Jimin listened quietly to her instructions before nodding as his stomach growled when the scent of dinner reached his nose.
"I'm okay, thank you, Amina. I'm a little faint feeling and my breathing is a little short, is that normal?" He asked quietly.
Amina nodded before situating breathing tubes in his nose for him, "Yes, it's normal. We're gonna keep these breathing tubes on you for a few days until your lungs are feeling better and your nutrition is up and then you'll have an easier time managing your breathing."
"Thank you," Jimin muttered quietly, He managed a small smile for her as she finished checking his vitals and then left him to eat.
Namjoon had woken up from all the talking and had moved to the chair next to Jimin's bed. He had Jin sat on his lap so they were out of the nurse's way. Once the nurse left Jin scooted forward and picked up Jimin's fork, feeding him bite by bite. Namjoon couldn't help but watch the two friends fondly as Jin cracked random dad jokes between feeding Jimin bites of food to cheer him up and keep him eating.
Jin managed to get Jimin to eat about three quarters of his dinner before Jimin started refusing any more. Jin cleared the tray, relenting and helping Jimin lay back down in bed. Namjoon moved closer to Jimin once Jin had gone to clean up and pass the tray of unfinished food to a nurse outside.
"Jimin? Do you want me to contact Yoongi's attorney?" He asked softly.
Jimin nodded tiredly, his smile fading to a worried frown.
"Yes. Ask him how Yoongi is doing, but don't tell Yoongi I had a miscarriage. I want to be the one to tell him... find out what prison he's going to and what our next steps are for a retrial. Have Seung-Gi tell Yoongi I'm okay and that I'm getting better and that I love him and will see him as soon as they let me."
Namjoon nodded and smiled softly, squeezing Jimin's hand lightly, "I got it Jiminie, I'll call Mr. Lee tomorrow morning. Once visiting hours start tomorrow, Jin and I will come back and update you on Yoongi."
"Thank you Namjoon, tell Jin I said goodnight," Jimin muttered quietly. He turned his head away, eyes closing as sleep consumed him once again.
Namjoon stood up and packed up his and Jin's belongings. He adjusted Jimin's blanket and made sure he was tucked in nicely and had water close by before calling to Jin.
"Baby, it's time to go, Jimin's asleep and the nurses are gonna kick us out in a few minutes."
Jin grabbed his bag before taking Namjoon's hand. He frowned worriedly, eyebrows knit together as he glanced back at Jimin, torn on whether he should leave or not. Namjoon frowned and squeezed his hand comfortingly.
"We have to go baby, we can't stay past visiting hours. Plus we need to get in contact with Yoongi's attorney so we can bring Jimin some good news tomorrow," Namjoon started towards the door, gently tugging Jin with him.
Jin reluctantly followed him out, closing Jimin's door quietly behind them.
"I know, but I'm just so worried about him. We'll come back first thing tomorrow, no exceptions. We need to be here everyday for him," Jin declared, his gaze filled with determination as they rounded the corner and Jimin's hospital room disappeared from view behind them.