'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, please, please don't leave me, please, listen to me.' I sobbed, pulling on his sleeve
He jolted his arm arch, turning to face me. 'I can't do this. I just can't. No matter how much I try, no matter what I do, it always ends the same. You and him.'
'Jimin, I do not want him! I want you! I love you! I swear!'
'You also swore and promised that you'd never let him close again, and look where that took us.' Even through my blurry vision, I could see how red his eyes got. 'For a moment there, I believed it all. I believed you loved me and wanted me. But I guess I should have seen this coming.'
I fell to my knees in front of him, crying out my eyes.
'I was prepared to be with you even if you didn't love me, all as long as you were honest with me. That's all I ever asked. And you couldn't even do that much for me.' He crouched in front of me, looking at me with a few tears down his face.
'Was any of it real? Do you even like me? Even a bit?' His voice cracked
'Yes! I-I love-I love you.' I sobbed out, clutching his shirt tightly
'Funny way of showing it, baby. But I guess I could only expect this. I was ready to be hurt. I hoped I wouldn't be, but I half expected it. And here we are.' He smiles through the tears. 'He broke your heart. You broke mine. I wonder who's heart I'll have to break to make myself feel alive again.'
'Jimin, please.' I was wheezing. I couldn't take a single breath from all the crying
'I'll see you around, Yeona. Goodbye.' He kissed me on the forehead and then left, leaving me a broken, crying mess on the ground.
I screamed, hitting the floor in front of me so hard that I got a few cuts on my hands. But the wounds and the blood are the least of my worries.
What have I done? How could I let this happen?!
I lost him.
-----
I must have laid on that ground for hours, screaming and crying until my tears ran dry. Everything was hurting. From head to toe, inside out. Every molecule of my body felt like it was tearing itself apart.
I heard distant banging and explosions through the window. It must be midnight. Christmas. What was supposed to be the best Christmas turned into a nightmare.
'No.... Jimin....' I weeped into that carpet, pulling on it without a single tear coming out. Nothing left to cry. My eyes and my head felt like exploding. I've been hicking up from all the sobbing so much that I'm nauseous. I just wanna fall asleep and never wake up.
And Iyera... she must hate me. She'll never speak to me again. I hid so many things from her. I wanna call her. Him, too. But I have no strength to even breathe right now.
-----
'What... the hell... happened in here?'
Namjoon came home a day early and found the house in the same state it was yesterday when they left. There were dishes all over the kitchen. I didn't even put the food away properly. All the presents and things we opened were left around the sofa and the coffee table in the living room.
'YEONA! COME DOWN HERE!' I heard his loud, deep growl. He was angry.
I dragged myself down the stairs, barely even walking. He had his back turned to be as he we still scanning the house.
'Can you explain what in the fuck happened? And this?!' He raised that box of condoms to show me, looking as pissed off as you can get. His veins were almost popping out, and his jaw was clenched to the point he might break his teeth.
But his face changed within two seconds after looking at me. He dropped the box on the floor and ran over to me. 'What is it, Yeonie? What happened?!' He panicked, holding my face, staring into my eyes
I couldn't utter a word. I just crumbled and started crying again, holding onto the necklace he gave me
'Oh, God, Ye.' He hugged me tightly, and I could feel how panicked he was. His heart was beating in fear. I never cried in front of him because of these things. It would always be some kind of injury. But even when Jungkook broke up with me, I never let out a tear in front of him.
'Sis, what's going on? Tell me.'
'Joon. I lost him. I lost him. He's gone.' I weeped, feeling like my knees are about to give out from under me
'Lost who? I don't know what you mean. Who did you lose? Is it a boyfriend or something?'
'He- he was.' I kept crying
'Okay. Let's get you on the couch. I'll clean up, and then you'll tell me every single thing so I know whose teeth I need to punch out.'
And that's exactly what he did. It only took him 20 months to bring the life back into the house, and then he sat next to me, demanding I tell him everything.
'Okay, so who's this guy?'
'Jimin. His name is Jimin.' I sniffle
'And you... like him?'
'I love him, Joon. I love him so much.' I cried out as I felt that tight squeeze in my chest
He took a deep breath, nodding as if he understood. 'Does he feel the same?'
'Yes.' I cry
'Then what happened? Did you break up?'
'Y-yes. He left.'
'Then show me who that guy is, and I'll break his legs.' He leaned forward with full intent behind his words
'No, no. It's my fault. It's not him. I hurt him.' I waved my hands frantically. Jimin did not do a single bad thing to me
'Okay, what did you do?'
I tried my best to explain Jungkook and what happened, skipping certain parts. Like him climbing up to my room for months and such. But I did tell him that we saw each other here and there after our breakup and about him kissing me last night.
He listened to everything with full concentration, and then when I was done, he nodded to himself, rubbing his hands over his face.
'I know you're my sister, and I love you, but if I was that guy, Jimin guy, I would never want to see you again.'
I started crying even more, bawling into my hands. That's the last thing I wanna hear.
'Look, I get you want to hear that it's going to be okay, all sunshine and daisies, but it won't. Or maybe it will. I can't know. But from what I gathered, you've got 2 guys who are in love with you. It's just up to your feelings. And honestly, that Jungkook guy sounds like someone I'd kick in the nuts. He's not the choice you should go for.'
'I wasn't going to. I don't want to be with him at all. I want Jimin.'
'Then there's not much to think about. Do your best to show him that you care, and stay the hell away from this other guy. Just give the guy you like a bit of time to process. He is hurting just as much. Probably more.'
'I don't like him. I love him.' I correct him
He chuckled, 'Yes, I can see that. I've never seen you cry so much in your life, let alone over someone. So it's not hard to pick up on that. Just give it time. It will all to the way it's supposed to. Just... stop a bit and breathe. He's not going anywhere.'
'Okay.' I sniffle. 'Thank you, Joon.' I hug him tightly
'You're welcome. But now, I've got a different question.' He picks up that condom box. 'Do you care to explain?'
'We did secret santa and we got each other jokes as gifts. Jimin got that from Taehyung as a joke. You see they're not even opened.' I hate that I even have to explain this to him. This is so embarrassing.
'XXL?' He read it out and started snickering. 'Impressive, I guess.' I think only then did it click with him that they are Jimin's, so he put them down with a disgusted face. 'No. No. Absolutely not.'
'Would you rather me be an unprotected idiot?' I ask
'I- please- stop it. I do not want nor need to hear about that part of your life. Please. Just take these and hide them and I'll pretend I never saw it in my life, so I can still see you as that 5 year old kid.' He shoved the box in my hands without looking at it
'Right. I'll do that.' As awkward as this was, he made it a bit funny
But, right now, I've got bigger problems than a box of condoms.