Sana's POV
"Love never fails. If it fails, it was never loved. If it's real, love will find a way back to you. Love always find a way, Sanayah".
These were the last words Jihyo said before we went to sleep last night that until now are still engraved in my mind. Actually, I couldn't sleep well questioning myself about so many things that keep bothering me. My eyes were puffy and swollen from crying. I also have eyebags and dark circles from staying up all night.
A lot of questions were left unanswered.
And I thought as time goes by, all unanswered questions will going to be dissolved into stardust.
But, I was wrong.
The most painful questions are left unanswered. It hurts more than rejection itself. I've been looking for an answer for a long time now, yet I still don't know what it would be. I still can't find words that will perfectly fit every question that was left undiscussed.
"Sanaaa....." Jihyo called out; interrupting me with my deep thoughts.
"Hmm... W~what is it?", I responded quickly as I go back to my senses.
"I said we're already here at your house".
"What's wrong with you? You've been like that for a while. You seem bothered. Is it because of what we talked about last night?", Jihyo worryingly asked.
"Ahm, Jihyo....There's something I haven't told you yet..." I smile weakly and swallow the lump in my throat. I lowered my head; fidget with my hands as I felt nervous to tell her.
"Ow...What is it? You better tell me now coz I started to get ner....vous!—".
"We had sex", I straightforwardly said to her which made her shock. Jihyo becomes speechless. She deeply sighed and then looked at me with disbelief.
"How come you two...."
"....In the restroom", I stutter as I continue to speak to her.
"OhmyGod, Sana! You're really unbelievable! What if someone saw the two of you...or worst, Dahyun caught you two doing that. You know she likes you, Sana".
"I know and good thing. That didn't happen".
"I'm sorry. It just happened too fast. I was caught off guard...I'm so stupid for letting that happen." I covered my face with my hand because of frustration then let out a stressful sigh.
After my sudden confession, there was a moment of silence between us.
"You know what...You and Tzuyu really need to talk and clarify things out." Jihyo broke the silence.
"But I'm scared, Jihyo..."
"It's just....everything is so complicated right now. She's in a relationship and I hate her for making things so difficult for me. Why did she come back?! I'm fine now (I lied) and then she mess it up again.."
My eyes were filled with tears when I pictured all the pain, suffering, and struggles that I've been through since that day she left me. I'm so miserable and helpless back then to the point that I have been on hiatus from activities since I got hospitalized due to the accident. However, I participated in some events depending on my condition. My hiatus should be only within two months. But because of what she did, my career got affected especially my mental health so I requested another month to fix myself. I thanked the girls, especially Jihyo and Dahyun for helping me out to take away all the stress, anxiety, and pain that I felt over a year.
"How could you be so sure that you are really completely fine now? When you saw her again after so long and you still feel the pain of the past...That until now, you're still hurting because of her....", Jihyo leaned forward and reached to my face to wipe away my tears.
"I don't know what to do anymore...I don't want to get hurt anymore. I'm so tired of being hurt", I cried.
"Hush now. You managed to overcome all that, right? You can still do that now to save yourself again and I believe you for that. Besides, I'm still here for you...We're still here. Don't forget that, okay?". Jihyo let out a soft smile and I smilingly nodded in relief to her words. She then embrace me and rubbed my back to soothe me.
"Thank you for always being there for me, Jihyo....", I whispered to her.
"Because I'm your friend and you're like a dear sister to me." Jihyo pulled away from the hug and held my hands then softly caress them. "If you think she is the only one who will heal you...If she is the only one who will make you feel complete again. Why should you give it a try? I didn't say you should destroy her relationship with her girlfriend. What I mean is talk to Tzuyu and let her explain to you. Don't stop her from doing that and listen to her even if it is hard for you to see her".
"But for now, you should get some rest because you haven't slept yet."
"Alright. I will go now. Thank you for letting me stay in your condo and for lending me these comfortable clothes. I will treat you tomorrow after work." I smiled nonchalantly and waved at her before I get out of the car. She then smiled and waved back to me and then drove away in her car.
I will allow myself to feel all this pain again..
To cry all the tears I have every time it hurts again
To embrace this sadness as long as it wants to stay with me
I won't suppress it anymore, or try to escape from it.
I will take time to grieve...I will grieve well.
I will stay still even when it's uncomfortable
I will not take the easy fix again, the shortcuts
I will confront my wounds and I will forgive myself for being the way she had been....
I will allow myself to stay here in chaos for a moment until I'm ready to get up again and move forward.
When I opened the gate and was about to enter, I jumped in shock when someone spoke from behind me.
"Sana...."A familiar voice called me.
I calmed myself first before facing her. This time, I will make sure I won't budge from her anymore. I shouldn't be weak and soft on her.
"Sanaaa...", she repeated.
"Why are you here? How did you know that I live here?".
As soon as I turned to her, I gave her a cold and serious face. She was taken aback by my expression. But then, she still gets the courage to speak again to me.
"Can we talk?", Tzuyu asked me with a low and sincere tone. I suddenly remember what Jihyo told me.
Should I talk to her now? Should I give her the chance to explain for herself?
"About what? Is there anything else we should talk about?", I said emphatically at her. I changed my mind. I still can't. I'm not yet ready to talk to her about everything. After saying that, I quickly turned my back and hastily enter the gate to my house. I was startled when she hold me in her arm to stop me from walking away.
"Please, Sana...We should talk about last night....About us", Tzuyu pleaded.
"Let go of me!", I said with annoyance and then shoved her hand away from me. "Have you forgotten what you said to me? Didn't you clearly say that what happened to us was just a mistake? So what are you doing here? Why do we still need to talk?! Besides, you already have a girlfriend."
"What are you saying?!", Tzuyu furrowed her eyebrows at me. "Elkie is just my friend. She's my childhood friend in Taiwan. Why are you suddenly sound jealous?".
"Wait. Don't tell me you're jealous of her. She was just teasing you last night. Don't get it wrong", she then let out a mischievous smile on her face which easily irritates me.
"Who the heck told you I'm jealous? I'm not jealous! Why should I be jealous? We're already done. It's over between the two of us since you left me!"
"And now you're mad....Look, Sana. I don't have a new girlfriend. I don't remember breaking up with you or you breaking up with me. So basically, we're still in a relationship because we haven't broken up yet. You are still my girlfriend, Sana." She said with a soft chuckle which gave me the chance to see her smile along with her dimples. I was momentarily stunned by that wonderful view but then I shook my head and gather back all my senses.
"You're ridiculous!", I scoffed but then a loud laugh escaped from her.
"What's funny, Ms. Chou?". I rolled my eyes and glared at her.
"You". Tzuyu let out a soft laugh.
"W~what did you say? Ms. Chou?".
But, she just laughed even more.
"You supposed to call me "Babe". Drop the formality. Don't get mad. You are being cute", she then gave me a little cheeky wink while grinning.
"Yah! Are you out of your mind? You're crazy! Just go away! You're wasting my time!", I annoyingly said to her. I'm so done with her craziness.
"Leave!", I sternly said.
I can't keep up with her nonsense. I'm already tired. I just want to rest and sleep on my bed right now.
"Did you cry all night? Did you not sleep well last night?". Her face look so worried about me and then turned to a serious expression. "I didn't sleep well either because I'm waiting for you. Where did you sleep last night? Why you didn't go home?", she asked.
"It's none of your business. So please, just leave now..."
Her face saddened. She averted her eyes but then looked me again in the eye.
"Do you still love me, Sana?", she weakly said out of nowhere.
I was stunned for a while and didn't answer her right away. I couldn't speak. I don't know what should I say to her.
Do I still love her?
She then cleared her throat to break the silence. "So do you like her?". A wry smile showed up on her lips. I saw sadness in her eyes. I'm still not talking to her and didn't answer all her questions. As she kept talking to me, the more I couldn't utter a single word. I could hear my heart beating so fast when she began to walk towards me. I just realized that she already hugging me and her arms wrapped tightly around my body.
"I don't blame you if you like her. She was there while I was gone. She's been there for you since that night I left you. But I know you still love me, Sana. I felt that last night. The kisses, hugs, and touches we shared together. You still have feelings for me and I don't care even if it is just a little love that is left in your heart." She then pulled away the hug and held my hands. She lifted them and kissed them. It was sincere and soft. It's one of her way on how she respects me.
"I'm back, Sana. I'm already here and I will never waste every single time now. I will do anything to make you believe and trust me again. If you don't love me anymore, then I will do everything to make you fall in love again with me."
"Because I still love you. I love you so much. That never changed," Tzuyu let out a soft smile before she turned her back to me and walked out of the gate. She halt for a second then slowly looked back and waved at me.
"See you tomorrow, my neighbor", she said.
"W~what did she say? Neighbor? Did I mishear it?". My gaze followed her and my mouth agape in surprise when I saw her enter the house beside mine.
"Ow, gosh! She's the owner of that house! We're neighbors?! I can't believe her". I massage my head and try myself to calm. I sighed heavily at what was just happened right now. "She's so unbelievable!", I mumbled while stomping my feet as I headed inside my house.
"I hate you, Chou Tzuyu!!!!".
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9:00 PM
When Tzuyu was already done talking to Sana this morning she also wanted to give it a try to talk once again to her two best friends. Tonight, Elkie is not with Tzuyu because the girl visited her other friend here in Seoul that's why the tall girl is now all alone at home. After Tzuyu cooked and ate her dinner, she decided to go to the restaurant and wait for her best friends to finish working.
While inside the car, she noticed Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung get outside the restaurant. She saw the two laughings and teasing each other, which immediately made her happy. It is obvious from her smile that she misses her friends so much. A scenario like this is one of the things she misses and really loves to do with her friends.
Since it is Friday, she thought the two would go to the bar and she was not mistaken in her suspicion. She followed the two until they reached their favorite bar. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung entered and she secretly followed them.
When Tzuyu saw where the two choose a spot to sit on, she immediately went to the bartender to ask for drinks. She ordered a bottle of whiskey and nuts and dried fruits, a mix-match they always ordered here. A few seconds and the said bartender placed the bottle in the service bar. She took her order and went towards her friends.
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Hi! I didn't hurt you guys this time, right?😂 How's this chapter? I hope you like it. Next chapter will be updated. 😌 Keep safe everyone! ❤️