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song of the chapter: marry the night by lady gaga
"im gonna marry the night"
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"It went well, I take it," Amren said when we arrived home. She and Eve had stayed behind, along with Eve's youngest daughter, Johanna.
Cassian gave her a look, and trailed after Rhys. Rhys sat on the rim of the fountain, forearms braced on his knees, staring at the moss-flecked flagstone between his feet.
"If you're out here to brood, Rhys," Amren said from her perch on a little bench, "then just say so and let me go back to my work."
"The humans wish for proof of our good intentions. That we can be trusted."
"Feyre wasn't enough?" Eve challenged, raising an eyebrow.
"She is more than enough," Rhys said with that deadly calm. "They're fools. Worse—frightened fools."
He studied the ground again, as if the dried moss and stone made up some patter no one but him could see.
"We could depose them," Cassian suggested. "Get newer, smarter queens on their thrones. Who might be willing to bargain."
Rhys shook his head. "One, it'd take too long. We dont have that time. I thought of the past few wasted weeks, how hard Azriel had tried to get into those courts. If even his shadows and spies could not breach their inner workings, then I doubted an assassin would."
The confirming shake of the head Azriel gave Cassian said as much.
"Two," Rhys continued, "who knows if that would somehow impact the magic of their half of the Book. It must be given freely. Its possible the magic is strong enough to see our scheming." He sucked on his teeth. "We are stuck with them."
"We could try again," I said.
"Let me speak to them," Mor suggested. "let me go to their palace—"
"No," Azriel said. Mor raised her brows, and a faint color stained Azriels tan face. But his features were set, his hazel eyes solid. "You're not setting foot in that human realm."
"I fought in the War, you will do well to remember—"
"No," Azriel said again, refusing to break her stare. His shifting wings rasped against the back of his chair. "They would string you up and make an example of you."
"They'd have to catch me first."
"That palace is a death trap for our kind," Azriel countered, his voice low and rough. "Built by Fae hands to protect the humans from us. You set foot inside it, Mor, and you wont walk out again. Why do you think we've had such trouble getting a foothold in there?"
"If going into their territory isnt an option," Feyre cut in before Mor could say whatever the temper limning her features hissed at her to retort and surely wound the shadowsinger more than she intended. "What proof can be offered?" Rhys lifted his head. "Who is—who is this Miryam? Who was she to Jurian, and who was that prince you spoke of—Drakon? Perhaps we perhaps they could be used as proof."
The heat died from Mors eyes as she shifted a foot against the moss and flagstone.
But Rhys interlocked his fingers in the space between his knees before he said, "Five hundred years ago, in the years leading up to the War, there was a Fae kingdom in the southern part of the continent. It was a realm of sand surrounding a lush river delta. The Black Land. There was no crueler place to be born a human—for no humans were born free. They were all of them slaves, forced to build great temples and palaces for the High Fae who ruled. There was no escape; no chance of having their freedom purchased. And the queen of the Black Land."
"She made Amarantha seem as sweet as Elain," Mor explained with soft venom.
"Miryam," Rhys continued, "was a half-Fae female born of a human mother. And as her mother was a slave, as the conception was against her mothers will, so, too, was Miryam born in shackles, and deemed human—denied any rights to her Fae heritage."
"Ya basta, tell the full story another time," I cut in.
"The gist of it, girl," Amren said, "is that Miryam was given as a wedding gift by the queen to her betrothed, a foreign Fae prince named Drakon. He was horrified, and let Miryam escape. Fearing the queens wrath, she fled through the desert, across the sea, into more desert and was found by Jurian. She fell in with his rebel armies, became his lover, and was a healer amongst the warriors. Until a devastating battle found her tending to Jurians new Fae allies—including Prince Drakon. Turns out, Miryam had opened his eyes to the monster he planned to wed. He'd roken the engagement, allied his armies with the humans, and had been looking for the beautiful slave-girl for three years. Jurian had no idea that his new ally coveted his lover. He was too focused on winning the War, on destroying Amarantha in the North. As his obsession took over, he was blind to witnessing Miryam and Drakon falling in love behind his back."
"It wasnt behind his back," Mor snapped. "Miryam ended it with Jurian before she ever laid a finger on Drakon."
Amren shrugged. "Long story short, girl, when Jurian was slaughtered by Amarantha, and during the long centuries after, she told him what had happened to his lover. That she'd betrayed him for a Fae male. Everyone believed Miryam and Drakon perished while liberating her people from the Black Land at the end of the War—even Amarantha."
"And they didnt," Feyre said. Rhys and Mor nodded. "It was all a way to escape, wasnt it? To start over somewhere else, with both their peoples?" Another set of nods. "So why not show the queens that? You started to tell them—"
"Because," Rhys cut in, "in addition to it not proving a thing about my character, which seemed to be their biggest gripe, it would be a grave betrayal of our friends. Their only wish was to remain hidden—to live in peace with their peoples. They fought and bled and suffered enough for it. I willnot bring them into this conflict."
"Drakons aerial army," Cassian mused, "was as good as ours. We might need to call upon him by the end."
Rhys merely shook his head.
"So, what do we offer them instead?" Feyre asked. "What do we show them?"
Rhys's face was bleak. "We show them Velaris."
"What?" Mor barked. But Amren shushed her.
"You cant mean to bring them here," I said, shaking my head.
"Of course not. The risks are too great, entertaining them for even a night would likely result in bloodshed," Rhys said. "So I plan to merely show them."
"They'll dismiss it as mind tricks," Evelina countered.
"No," Rhys said, getting to his feet. "I mean to show them—playing by their own rules."
Amren clicked her nails against each other. "What do you mean, High Lord?"
But Rhys only said to Mor, "Send word to your father. We're going to pay him and my other court a visit."
There was a slight knock at the doorway leading to the outside. We all turned to Johanna.
Johanna was around three hundred years old. She had her mother's dark hair, but her father's hazel eyes. She was the sweetest thing.
"What's going on?" she asked us. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing, baby," Eve lied, standing up and going to her daughter's side. Azriel followed close behind.
"Why are you guys going to Hewn City?" she demanded. She must've been listening for longer than we realized.
"Don't worry about it, angel," Azriel said to her.
The two were very protective of her. Especially Evelina. Eve's first husband had been very abusive, which meant the twins she had with him were subjected to a lot of things they shouldn't have been. She always felt guilty for how the two were raised, so she was extra protective with her youngest.
"Well, I came to tell you that the twins wrote," Johanna told them. "They're coming for Starfall." Eve's face broke out into a smile, a slight squeal releasing from her lips.
"Oh, thank you for letting me know, love," she said, kissing her daughter's cheek.
She took Johanna by the hand and led her forward towards us. I realized Feyre hadn't met Johanna yet.
"Feyre, this is our daughter, Johanna," Eve introduced.
"I can't believe you two are parents," Feyre admitted, her eyebrows furrowing. Mor snorted, and Cassian snickered. Eve shot Feyre a look.
"Johanna does have her own apartment, but she'll be staying here for a while," Azriel explained to her. "Unless she's decided to spend Starfall with that boy."
"Dad, I've told you a million times, Joseph is not a boy. He's a mature male and he cares about me--" Johanna began ranting.
"No arguing about it right now," Evelina scolded the two. "We can talk about this later. Johanna, you're spending Starfall with us." Johanna pouted, going to argue. "That's final. The twins are coming out for this."
"Gods, I haven't seen the twins in so long," I sighed.
Ever since the two had moved off to different courts, each getting married, they hadn't had much time to visit.
"I can't believe I let them move so far away," Eve mumbled.
"You're more controlling than Mother was," Rhys joked. She narrowed her eyes at him.
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"Did you know," Mor said to Feyre as she strutted into the sitting room. "That the wingspan on an Illyrian male will tell you a lot about the size of his other parts?"
"It's true," Amren confirmed with a nod.
Feyre stared at them with wide eyes as I chuckled, adjusting my wings as I layed back on the couch.
"And Azriel has the biggest wingspan," Mor said with a smirk.
"Yeah, it's true," Eve confirmed for us. "The first time I saw him naked, I seriously thought I was gonna--"
"Ew, shut up!" I groused, throwing a pillow at her from across the room. She caught it, and laughed, throwing it back to me.
"Don't say that to Rhys or Cassian," Amren advised. "They will likely get out a measuring tape."
"Are you going with us to the Court of Nightmares?" Feyre asked me, sitting down at my side.
"No," I replied with a shrug. "I'll stay here."
"Why?"
"I try to leave Velaris as little as possible," I explained, staring down at my tattoo. "As long as I'm here, he can't find me."
"Demetri's been trying to get her back since Iridessa died," Mor explained to Feyre as she wrapped her arms around me.
"Unfortunately for him, we won't let that happen," Eve promised.
I smiled, burying my face in Mor's neck as she pressed a kiss to my head and stroked my hair. Mor was the only one I let comfort me.
Feyre and Amren eventually went off together. I sighed, sitting up as Mor set her head on my lap. I stroked her hair like she had done to mine. Eve rested her head on my shoulder.
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked Morrigan. "Going back there?" She was silent for a few seconds.
"Yes," she replied, though she sounded unsure.
"You know you can always talk to me," I reminded her.
"Of course," she smiled.
That was another reason I could not go to the Court of Nightmares. I was very likely to lose myself and murder Keir for what he did to Mor. Every time I saw her cry over it, I wanted him dead. But I wouldn't unless I had her permission.
"Feyre asked me about you," Eve informed me. I raised an eyebrow as glanced at me. "She knows you lied to her about Luna. Rhys told her."
I did not like to talk about what really happened to my daughter. When anyone asked, I lied and said she died at birth.
The truth was, I raised her for twelve years. I'd loved her so deeply. I'd never known a love like that before.
But Demetri did not take kindly to his father sending me away to a breeding camp. He had been even more furious when he discovered that I bore another male's child. I kept her protected from him for twelve years. But that day, he found her. And slaughtered her.
When I found out, the fury I had unleashed was unlike anything I had done before, and I'd yet to do it again. He'd nearly been dead when I was done with him.
It was devastating and heartbreaking to watch her slip away from me. I still remembered how weak and frail she looked in my arms and how she clung to me as if seeking comfort and protection, and I was helpless to do anything but hold her tightly and try to comfort her.
I cried and screamed for help, but I knew deep down that there was no hope. Seeing her fighting for every breath broke my heart. Nothing in my life has hurt so badly or broke my heart like losing Luna.
"She'll understand why I lied," I said quietly.
I found out I was pregnant two months after being recused from that camp. Rhys's mother, Iridessa, who was more a mother to me than my own, had held me while I cried.
Rhys had been cruel about it, calling me many things I'm sure he learned from the other boys in the camp.
I wasn't sure if Azriel fully understood. Neither of us were very intelligent at the time. We were never granted an education, and we spent most of our lives isolated. It was impressive that we could even string together a sentence at that point.
Cassian had never mocked me for it. From the moment he found out I was unwed and pregnant, his dynamic towards me changed completely. About six months into my pregnancy he told me about his mother. I realized that if I hadn't been saved, I would've ended up just like her.
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I sat down at a table with a glass of wine that night as I smoothed down my dark blue dress. I sat next to Morrigan.
Starfall was my favorite of our holidays. The sky was so magical.
Mor stood to go to Feyre, who was glancing around with a lost expression. Mor breezed to her side.
Some of the happiest times in my life was at Starfall. It was a day for everyone to come together and celebrate, and there was a certain joy and anticipation in the air.
I always looked forward to Starfall every year and it quickly became my favorite day of the year. It was a day to celebrate life and love and laughter, and it was so important for healing me. The company of my best friends made me so joyful. Starfall was special and magical, a day of joy and love that would always be in my heart.
I glanced up to see a star vaulting across the sky, bright and close. The crowd and city below cheered, raising their glasses as it passed right overhead, and only when it had disappeared over the curve of the horizon did they drink deeply.
Another star crossed the sky, twirling and twisting over itself, as if it were reveling in its own sparkling beauty.
It was chased by another, and another, until a brigade of them were unleashed from the edge of the horizon, like a thousand archers had loosed them from mighty bows.
The stars cascaded over us, filling the world with white and blue light. They were like living fireworks, and I smiled as the stars kept on falling and falling.
And when the sky was full with them, when the stars raced and danced and flowed across the world, the music began.
Wherever they were, people began dancing, swaying and twirling, some grabbing hands and spinning, spinning, spinning to the drums, the strings, the glittering harps.
I wondered what Nesta would think of this. Would she be amazed? Or would she not care? Why did I even care?
I glanced over, seeing Evelina dancing with her twins. Azriel was next to them, dancing with Johanna. I never saw Eve as happy as she was when she was with all three of her kids.
Azriel seemed to notice me sitting off to the side. He excused himself for a second and came over to me, grabbing my hand and lifting me to my feet. He brought me over to his family.
Eve's eldest daughter, Diana, grabbed my hand and began twirling around with me. I laughed, dancing with her as Eve danced with her son Gideon.
Eventually, Feyre and Rhysand joined us. I hadn't been so at peace in a very long time. I wrapped my arms around Feyre and danced with her.