I sit outside the block of rooms used for meetings, resting my back against the sun-warmed brick, arms loose around my legs, which are tucked up into my chest. There's a buzz of activity all around me, the echoing bangs of the mining and farming equipment, the conversations of people hurrying past, floating in the air behind them.
Tubbo sits next to me, fiddling with something in his lap. Tommy stormed off the moment he woke up, and no one's seen him since he disappeared into the woods.
"What are they gonna do to him?" Tubbo asks me quietly. I look at him and give a half-hearted shrug.
"No idea, they're waiting for Dream."
"Are they going to kill him?" The question is casual, and it's just another fucking reminder of how far everything has fallen. There's been so many they don't even make me flinch.
"I don't know." I answer honestly. "Depends on what kind of mood Dream's in, maybe."
"Would you stop them?" Tubbo sets down the piece of metal, and finally looks up at me. "If they decided to kill him?"
I pause, biting the inside of my cheek, watching him. His good eye doesn't betray any emotion, no fear, no sadness. He's just genuinely curious.
"Would you want me to?"
It's his turn to pause, sunken in thought. "It's not really Wilbur anymore, is it?"
"No. No it isn't." I agree. "I don't think I want him to die."
"I don't think I'd stop it though, either."
"I know, he's hurt a lot of people, and he'll keep doing it." I acquiesce. "But- fuck- it's Wil. I wish there was another option."
"Tommy wants him dead, he told me last night."
"Tommy's angrier than us, he was closer to him, in the end."
"He's only been close to Tommy. He never loved me."
I almost rear back in shock, whipping my head around to face him. "What? Tubbo, no, he loved you."
He sniffs, his bottom lip trembling, like he's trying to beat back tears. "Maybe, he hasn't for a while."
It feels like his words squeeze my heart, constricting it to the point of pain. "I don't think he's been capable of love for a while."
"He loved Tommy."
"He had no one else but Tommy, I think it was more of Tommy being his only option."
Tubbo doesn't say anything, but tears roll of his cheeks.
"I don't think he ever loved me, you know." I can't even look at him as I say it, staring off in the distance in front of me. "Not like you guys. He really did love you two, at one point."
"The more I- I think about him and the more I do, the more he looks like Dream, you know? There was something wrong with him then."
I almost bite clean through my lip, as I sink my teeth in to try and hold it together. I think about those days, I think about the hurt, the way I was a pawn, just as much to him as I was to Dream, I think about the indifference too, the way he didn't even blink, the moment he'd thought I'd possibly done something to undo his creation.
He didn't just throw me away, he punished me in the worst way he knew how. He did it to hurt me as much as he did it in a misguided attempt to protect L'manburg.
God, there's always been something wrong, hasn't there? Not just misguided, or paranoid, or trigger-happy, something evil, something sadistic, something cruel, just like Dream, just like Schlatt.
Maybe I knew it too, when I made that choice, confronted with both of them and taking neither. Something in me knew, that either decision I made, I was condemned to a similar fate.
Dream and Wilbur are not the same, and they haven't been. I think Wilbur's always tried, I think he did love Tubbo and Tommy, and even Fundy. I think he believed in L'manburg.
I think there was just something wrong, and all the good he tried to do was tainted by him, and who he was.
And now; now, there is nothing redeemable, there's just that fucking selfish evil that's lurked in the background for all of this time.
"He's brought a lot of hurt into this world, and I don't think we've really seen it, not for what it was, not until now, at least." I answer, finally.
"You saw it." There's a lot of guilt in his voice, that doesn't deserve to be there.
"I got unlucky." I flick the grass up with the toe of my boot. "And even then, I didn't really see it, I went back and forgave him."
Tubbo starts to say something, but he cuts himself off abruptly, attention turned to something off in the distance. I look up, watching a tall, skinny figure emerge from the far-off treeline.
Tommy marches up to the both of us, anger set in all of his features. His mouth, the crease between his knitted brows, the stiffness in his shoulder, the airtight way his fingers are curled into a ball. He doesn't say anything, not as he sits down next to me, leaning against my shoulder. I decide to leave him be, and all three of us sit together, against the brick wall.
"What are they doing with him?" Tommy finally asks me, full of anger.
I give him a half hearted shrug. "They haven't decided."
Tommy's mouth is set into a grim line. "They'll kill him."
Neither me, nor Tubbo, have the energy to respond. The unspoken words hang heavily in the air around us.
There's faint yelling in the building behind us, but it's too muffled to make out the words. I couldn't be in there. I'm not as blood thirsty as I was, it turns out, not as angry either. I can't stomach it anymore, worn down and tired.
Tommy and Tubbo talk beside me, but I'm not listening now, sunken in on myself, on my own mind. The tree-line blurs in my vision as I gaze out, thinking of Wil, thinking of Dream and his anger, his blood-thirst. He'll never tire of it, never let go.
I think that Dream was born into a life like that. I think it's all he's known, for a long, long time. I had so much more than who I became, I knew the peace that came with forgiveness, and family, and quiet. I wasn't always angry and I wasn't always dead.
I realise Tommy's nudging me with his elbow, saying my name.
"Rosie? Rosie are you listening?"
I blink, turning to face him. "Huh?"
"He asked if you think they should execute him." Tubbo fills in for me.
I let out a little laugh, more of a defeated scoff than anything, unable to look at Tommy. He still sees me as that vengeful, bloodthirsty monster, he's looking to me because I'll let him feel like his anger is right.
It is, but it'll tear him apart anyway, and so despite what is just, what is right, those who have suffered have to let go anyway. It will drown you. It will pull you down in its despair.
I can't give him the comfort he's looking for. I took it myself, and I let it ruin me for so long, and I can't give it to him.
The hypocrisy would kill me if the selfishness of it all didn't.
They've just always needed better, the two of them, better than me, better than Wilbur, better than everything that's been forced on them.
"No." I say finally, even though my voice shakes. "But they'll kill him anyway."
"What?" Tommy's voice raises, and I can't lift my head. "After everything he's done, and you want to let him live?"
"I don't want to kill him." My eyes burn under the threat of tears. "But he'll die, and I won't stop it."
"What the fuck are you talking about? He-"
"He was an awful, awful person, to me, to you, to Tubbo, he betrayed us and L'manburg and I won't kill him for it." I say quickly, desperate to get it all out. "But he'll die anyway, so what's the fucking point?"
"The point is he should fucking die!" Tommy explodes, leaping to standing, yelling at me. I finally look up at him, at how he shakes in front of me.
"I know."
"He used me, he kept me down in that ravine and he didn't even care about me, he just- he blamed me for everything and all I wanted was to help him and he couldn't even care enough-"
"I know what he did Tommy." I say gently. "You have every right to want to kill him, he's never going to change. He's been like this from the fucking beginning, he's never been able to properly care about anything that doesn't benefit him. You, me? Once we stopped helping him achieve his goal, we were nothing. It doesn't make me angry anymore Tommy, that's the point. All it does it make me fucking sad and tired and sick of it, and yeah, he's going to die, but I'm not celebrating it."
"You don't know they're going to kill him!" He shrieks, almost hysterically. "What if they let him go?"
"It's Dream, he's not letting him go." I give a dry chuckle. "He finally gets a pass to kill one of us? He's not letting that walk away."
"You know what? I bet he'll let him off just for you, he'll pretend he's changed or use him as an example of why you can't trust us. It's always about you."
"He's not letting him off Tommy."
"I'm not letting him." Tommy starts determinedly marching towards the door of the building. Me and Tubbo both fly up off the ground, running after him. He's already disappeared behind the door.
I wrench the door open, chasing him down the hallway, but he's somehow managed to extend a fairly decent headstart. I don't catch him, not before he barges into the large room where Wilbur sits. Everyone immediately falls silent when me and Tubbo follow in a second later. I grab onto Tommy, but he wrenches his arm away, stepping further into the room. Wilbur looks on with an air of smug amusement at the scene.
Dream looks less impressed, glancing from Tommy to me, but I'm not even going to disgrace myself with an apology to him. There's no way I'm dislodging Tommy from this room.
"Thanks for joining us Tommy, do you have anything to add to my case?" Wilbur looks wholly unbothered by the whole ordeal, which worries me. I can feel the nervousness tick up in my blood.
"They should kill you." The scowl on his face is lethal, and his voice doesn't waver, not one syllable. The venom is tangible, and those looking on have visible shock on their faces. Wilbur blinks, a slight break in his icy demeanour, before the mask shifts back on. He doesn't look like a man about to die.
He hasn't looked like a man at all, barely human, but there's just no fear, no panic, no urgency. It's truly unnerving.
"I'll let you in on a secret." Wilbur leans forward in his chair conspiratorially. "They can't kill me Tommy."
"We definitely can kill you." Punz's slightly bored voice breaks through, from where he sits behind Wilbur, who starts to laugh.
"Oh you can't, you know why? I am L'manburg, I am the man who gave you all a second chance at life, where would you be without me? Tommy? Tubbo? Rose? I have given you everything, I built you everything. You have nothing without me and you'll never be able to kill me. You can't let me die. Just you watch Punz, they can't do it."
Dream is impassive as he speaks, arms crossed. "You have tired every bit of good will anyone here has had for you, everything you have ever done to be selfless has been paid back over and over by the decisions you've made that betrayed them. You have nothing left to offer. You are a liability. You are better off dead, before you lose everything that ever made your life worth living."
Wilbur goes uncharacteristically silent, staring wide eyed at Dream, who leans in with a smile. A real one. One that chills me.
"You're going to die Wilbur, how does it feel?"
It's like a bomb fucking detonates inside that room.
There's the initial impact, the radiating silence, the shockwave that takes the air from their lungs. Then the explosion.
Wilbur begins screaming, almost unintelligible, inhuman screeches, still bound to his chair.
"You can't fucking kill me! I'm the fucking reason any of you are here! I gave you all of this and you think you can have it without me! It will fucking fall, you will have nothing!"
So many people are yelling, swearing at Wilbur, at Dream, at each other. Clearly, there was no general consensus on what should be done with Wilbur, but his fate has been sealed by Dream. Tommy's at Wilbur's chair, yelling with tears streaming down his face. Both my and Dream rush to pull him away.
Dream slams Wilbur back down into his chair, while I shove Tommy back.
"Rose, Rose, you're going to let him kill me? You're going to let him win? Have you just given up? You've always been his fucking bitch haven't you? You let him-"
Dream smacks him so hard across the face you can hear the audible crack in the room, despite the heated discussions. Everyone's up on their feet, trying to talk to me, to Dream, hands grabbing the back of my shirt.
"We can't kill him, we're no better than Schlatt then!" A resistance man stands beside Dream, fruitlessly trying to speak to him.
"He better fucking die!" Another man yells from behind us, at the man currently pleading with Dream.
"Enough!" Dream thunders, and finally, everyone falls silent. Dream steps into the middle of the room, turning to face Wilbur. "Yes everyone, he created L'manburg, and he's also a snake who almost gave it all away because his feelings were hurt. He's done it time and time before and he will do it time and time again because he cannot be trusted. We can't be sure that he's not going to ruin everything we have been trying to do. And for that, he'll be executed."
"No." Wilbur croaks out, gripping tightly onto his armrests. "No, you can't- you can't kill me."
Everyone watches on, eerily still. Wil looks at me.
"Rose you can't- you won't let him, you can't let him win Rose."
I look at him, at his face, at the way his bones press against the skin, like some grotesque imitation of Wilbur, the sunken eyes, the sallow colour of his face. I've known for so fucking long that the person I loved had left, left me, left L'manburg, left all of us, and I've been so desperate to cling onto him and his memory, because what else have I had left? And even then, I've put Wil behind me and my life a long time ago. In the end, it isn't even saying goodbye.
I give a tiny shrug, splaying my hands. "It's not my decision Wilbur."
In an instant, everything slips. The open, pleading face, the eyes with some life in them, the face that at least resembles Wilbur. It's like a fucking demon takes over, like everything that made him the least bit human leaves too, leaving something incomprehensible.
"You can kill me Dream, but you'll never be able to take away the fact that Rosemary never loved you. You know why? She loves Punz. She's been in love with him this entire time. She'll never truly love you."
The screech that leaves my mouth is ear splitting, erupting from my throat in pure panic, as I lunge at Wilbur, clawing at him.
"You're a fucking liar! You piece of shit!" So many hands grab onto me, and I'm wrenched backwards, my shirt tearing. Wilbur is cackling, spit flying, as the last bit of sanity dies.
Dream hasn't moved, his face is stuck in the same, unreadable expression. Punz is frozen on the other side of the room, but I don't dare even look at him.
"She's been with him this whole time Dream." Wilbur taunts. "Did you actually think she would really be with you? You think she actually loved you?"
"You fucking-" I start to shriek, but more people latch onto me again, and I'm thrown onto the floor so hard it knocks the wind out of me.
Wilbur's smile is stretched across his face. "Kill me Dream, and you'll never-
Dream steps forward and snaps Wilbur's neck.
The breath is sucked out of the room in an instant, completely still, completely silent.
Wilbur's body is slumped in his chair, hands hanging over the wooden armrests, legs splayed out. His body would have folded in on itself had he not been tied around the middle. His head lolls at a horrible, unnatural angle, face blank and unseeing.
Dream looks over as I stand up, his face still the same. I meet his eyes, unable to even form words.
I've already condemned both of us, me and Punz, the terror replacing the anger, the panic that surged me. I've already fucked up. I couldn't stop it, couldn't step back and let him say it and laugh it off, because I'm too terrified and I love Punz too much.
"Rosie." Dream's voice is so calm, so gentle, that it scares me. It genuinely scares me.
"Dream." My voice trembles.
"Rosie." The same tone, the same face. He takes a step towards me.
"Dream." I hold my hands out in front of me as if to stop him, and they shake in the air. Involuntarily, I take a step back, even though I shouldn't, even though I'm screaming at myself to stop. It's like an instinct I can't override, some last ditch attempt at survival by my brain.
"Rosie c'mere." He steps towards me again, almost lovingly.
"Dream." Another step back, my feet moving on their own.
Punz stands up. "Dream-"
"Punz just stay out of it." I snap instantly, before he can do anything. Dream finally moves his eyes off me, flicking them between Punz and I, before rushing so quickly forward that he can grab onto my arm before I have a chance to run.
I'm dragged unceremoniously from the room, with all eyes on me.
"Dream, Dream listen to me- just stop and listen- Dream."
He opens a random door in the hallway and pulls me inside, slamming it shut behind us. He doesn't move, or say anything, standing in front of the doorway impassively.
"I don't know what Wilbur's talking about." I say slowly, like if I speak too loudly I'm going to spook him.
"Rosie-"
"No Dream listen, I don't know what he's talking about. He wanted to hurt you, and he was scared and came up with something to throw at you. It's not true."
"Rosie, it's okay." Dream seizes my head with one hand, fingers digging into the back of my neck, thumb over my jaw, forcing my head to tilt up to him. I look at him pleadingly, trying to shake my head as a little as he lets me.
"It's not true." I whisper.
"Sh." He rubs little circles into my cheek, pulling me closer. My feet shuffle awkwardly, until we're just barely apart. "It's okay."
"You love him?" His voice is so quiet, so kind.
"I don't even know him." I'm almost sobbing, shaking underneath his palm. He flicks away the tears with his thumb as he looks down at me.
"Do you love him Rosie?"
"I don't kn-"
His grip on me tightens, pinching my skin, pressing so hard into the bone I think I'll have bruises. "Don't lie to me." He says, like a plea. We both know it's a warning, even if it's gentle, even if it sounds kind.
"Dream." I can't say anything, because if I deny it, and he can tell I'm lying, it's over. Not like now, where he half knows and just enjoys toying with me, but where he probably kills me and Punz and sets everything else on fucking fire. "I don't know him."
We stand at an impasse, for a moment, before he blinks and leans in, pressing a kiss into the side of my head. "Stay here."
I can't move at first, watching him walk out of the room with widened eyes and an utterly horrified expression, but the sound of the door slamming closed snaps me out of it. I lunge for it, levering the door handle up and down, but there's something blocking the door.
"Dream!" I scream, hammering my palm against the wood, frantically yanking on the handle. "Dream let me out!"
The door gets no more than a centimetre or two open, a little sliver of freedom, before Dream manages to slam it back into the frame. I can hear him fiddling with the metal, trying to find a way to lock it.
I hear another voice, and all of the sudden the door flies open, and I almost tumble out onto the ground in surprise. I look up to see Dream's back, and Punz's face in front of him.
Dream slams him into the wall, both hands wrapped around his neck. Punz punches him, hard, snapping his head back so violently that they're both pulled to the ground with the momentum. Punz has is back on the floor, Dream kneeling over him with both of his hands pressed into his throat.
"No!" I cry out, rushing forward to pull them apart, but Dream sticks his arm out, fending me off easily. Punz is bright red, hands flailing, one at his neck, desperate to get air, the other attempting to hit Dream. He finally connects one, enough to unseat Dream and push him off.
Punz is first to his feet, and buries his foot into Dream's side, narrowly missing his head, kicking him back into the floor. Dream shouts in pain, crawling on his arms and knees away from Punz's second kick, which catches him in the leg. He hauls himself back to standing, and they go at it again, knuckles colliding with cheeks, jaws and noses, blood splattering all over their hands and faces. Every attempt I make at stopping them gets me pushed into the ground again.
"Stop! Dream stop!" I'm screaming, but it does nothing. Dream manages to grab Punz, pulling him into his body and kneeing him the stomach so violently I can hear the thud, before Punz collapses in a heap. Dream's unsteady on his feet too, barely able to coordinate his limbs enough to stay standing, as he sways dangerously above Punz, who's retching on the wooden floorboards.
Dream kneels down, wrapping his arm around Punz's neck and yanking him upwards, and all Punz has the energy to do is hang there limply, his newly restored oxygen supply cut off.
"Dream stop!" I'm borderline hysterical at this point, crying and watching Punz gasp desperately for air. They're both so unrecognisable, already bruising at this point, covered in blood and spit.
"Do you love him Rosie?" Dream asks me again, the muscles in his arm rippling dangerously as he tightens around Punz's throat.
"No! No I love you, please Dream, just let him go-"
"Rosie, tell me the truth."
Tears are streaming down my face as I watch Punz slowly go from red to purple, listen to the gasps turn to awful sputters. I can hear the life being squeezed from his lungs. "I don't love him, it's not true. I-"
"Rosie, if you don't tell me the truth, he's gonna die."
"I am! I love you!" I can't breathe, because I can't stop this, I can't protect him, I am going to watch the man I love die in front of me because I was too stupid to keep it together and lie properly.
"That's not what I asked." Dream tuts, staring straight through me. "Do you love him? He's going to die."
"I love you." Punz barely wheezes out. He's telling me it's okay, he's telling me to condemn him, he's telling me that he's dying anyway and he wants me to know. He loves me.
I let out a sob. "I love you too."
And now he knows too. I love him.
"Rosie-"
It takes all my strength to look back up at Dream. "I love him."
---------------
A/N oohoohoohoohoo
smashed this out, turns out I do my best work procrastinating important tasks that have strict timelines. not a lot to say (there absolutely is, but i'm very tired), love to see your reactions.
I hope you enjoyed!
Oopsies x