TW: Hallucinations, Trauma, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Derealization, Death, Gore, Mentions of Suicide & Suicidal idealization
This is a very heavy chapter, please stay safe! I completely understand if you don't feel like reading it, it wasn't intended to get as dark as it did, but my writing got the better of me...
POV: Sun (Thirdlife!Grian)
"Alternate. Greetings... Have you forgotten your purpose?" A voice spoke in his mind, the language of the words foreign, yet they made sense.
"Who... Where am I? What are you talking about!" He looked around, but he saw naught but darkness.
He looked down to see sand underfoot. His eyes shot upwards to see Scar before him. "SCAR!" He ran forwards to embrace his friend, only for the scene to shift.
Bloody hands, standing over a limb body...
The sands ran red with blood. He scrambled backwards, his eyes wide. His hands dug for grasp in the sand, but it was slick with blood, everywhere, blood, sticking to him, it's scent tainting the air
"Do you still deny the reason we made you?" The voice hissed, almost like a snake would as it approached its prey.
"I- I don't know what you're talking about!" He yelled, tears streaming down his face head.
The scene flickered, warping. He was standing again, holding a sword, coated in the all-too-familiar substance. Beneath him was a dead body, too mutilated to recognize. He lifted the sword, and swung it behind him. A scream sounded. He watched himself smile as they turned to stare at Pearl slumping to the ground.
"How... Messy. We truly need to teach you your powers."
"Leave me alone..." He whispered, dropping the sword into the bloody sand.
Silence met his ears as he stepped back, and slipped, falling, falling, falling...
His feet hit the ground. His eyes darted around, but all he saw was darkness.
"Failure." A voice rasped, familiar, but the name was escaping him. Emotionless, but stinging nonetheless.
"N- No! I'm trying my best!" He gasped.
"You're the reason so many of them died." Another voice spoke, different, just as coldly as the last one.
"No... I didn't- I didn't mean to!"
The black room flickered, and he was standing on the hill... A large explosion sounded from the base, his communicator buzzing three times. Tears fell down his face. "I'M SORRY!" The scream was torn from his throat, stinging and burning. "I'm...Sorry."
"It's too late to apologize." This voice, unlike the others, was tinted by hatred. "When will you acknowledge you were made to cause pain, to cause hurt to others? You hide under pretenses of benevolence, yet you have, and will still hurt so many more, Watcher of the sands."
"I'm- I'm not a watcher! I-" He shouted, and his wings puffed up behind him, larger than before, lilac in coloration, black feathers dotting throughout.
"Are you so sure?" This voice merely seemed amused, but slightly mocking.
"... Shut up. What do you want from me?" His voice was almost pleading with them.
"There are three of you. On the night of the purple moon, you all must meet in the realm of the celestials. There you will finally fulfill your purpose."
He closed his eyes, readying himself for more torture. But he knew he would never be ready.
However, the last thing he was expecting to happen occured. He woke up.
~+~
Sun awoke with a gasp, his face damp with tears. His wings puffed out, having more than doubled in size then before. He felt the back, and discovered they had torn through his red sweater. He glanced at his hands and spotted an alarmingly almost black tint to his fingers. He turned his hand over, observing the changes to his body. He was unsure how to feel, he knew he should be alarmed, but he couldn't see any negatives... If the wings got bigger, maybe he could fly? And his hands still worked, they were just... Cold.
(Yes... fly a little bird, before you get caught in the trap.)
What was that? The voice seemed to come from nowhere... He shivered, a sudden chill sinking into his bones. He wrapped his wings around himself, glancing around, his eyes observing everything.
(The cage is around you, even though you are blind to it. There is no one you can trust here.)
His eyes darted, observing the fort. Scarlet was tossing and turning in her sleep, and Pearl was nowhere to be seen. From the shadows, he gauged it to be around midnight. The two of them had stayed here after Scott's disappearance, and Grian's the day after.
(You try to sing your own song, but only choke out verses sung to you)
"Shut up." He whispered, the reality setting in. Hearing voices was a clear sign you were losing your mind, and he didn't need another issue on his plate. He tried to stand, but sudden dizziness caused him to fall over, landing on his back.
(Ignore me all you'd like, but I speak the truth, Little bird. You pretend you are sane, but you are less sane then most. A gentle breeze will knock you over, shatter you.)
"No, shut UP! I'm not insane, I'm not fragile.. You're- You're just the watchers! I'll... Stop you!" He shouted, not even caring if anyone else heard him. Maybe if they woke up, they could acknowledge this voice, prove he wasn't alone... He just needed it to stop... His breath was coming quicker and quicker, and was becoming shallower and shallower, not helping with his panic.
(Denial doesn't suit little birds, especially when they know they're lying to themselves.)
"SHUT UP!" He yelled, a rush of... something coming out of body, rushing into hands. A rush of heat flared, taking away the chill, but as he opened his eyes, a more alarming sight met his eyes.
A circle of violet flames surrounded his frame. It was around the height of his knees, and was distant enough that all he felt was the heat, not burning, but it was... Frightening. He flinched, his wings wrapping tighter around his slim frame as he shivered, not with cold, but with fear.
(The little bird is beginning to realize it has a bit of a bite!)
Something about the voice kept putting him on edge, something familiar about it. He bit his lip, and as his discomfort grew, so did the flames. He yelped with fear as the purple flames lapped at his clothes, not burning as he thought they would, but still very close. Frightening, but tolerable. The voice had only grown louder, more difficult to ignore.
(Little bird, keep singing your song, but I will be by your side.)
"S- SUN!" Another voice yelled, familiar, but the name was just out of reach of his dazed and panicked mind. "SCARLET- Scarlet wake up, you have to get out!" That familiar voice was soon drowned out by the crackling of flames, his own brain, and that voice.
(Little bird, you can't escape me, I am you, Your thoughts, your magic, your words, personified.)
He shivered as the meaning of those words sunk in. "STOP- I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HERE!" Tears dropped into the flames, disappearing into steam with a sizzle as soon as they impacted the fire.
(Oh little bird, little bird, It's too late to rid yourself of me. You're long gone, Little bird. Long, long gone.)
"Shut up shut up shut up." He whimpered, now rocking back and forth, trying to rid himself of the built up energy. He couldn't go through the fire, and movement was barely something he could get his frantic brain to consider. Everything was just too much, every breath stung of smoke, and the flames only burnt higher, his shoulder stinging, not from fire, but something else.
The pain got worse and worse, as the flames came closer and closer, his clothes beginning to catch, the flames not just stinging his skin, but burning.
(Little bird, If you want me to quiet, you will have to quiet your own brain. You lost your sanity when you played the game.)
"SHUT UP! I HATE THIS! I WISH I COULD HAVE NEVER COME HERE! I WISH I'D DIED WITH SCAR!" The scream, full of pain, his voice raspy, torn apart by sobs and yelling. He slumped into a pile on the ground, not even trying anymore. They could say what they wanted, he was done. Done with fighting. Done with caring. Done with life. He'd had the right idea so long ago, he was lost. Without Scar, he had no purpose, he only had memories. No one here was his friend. He was alone.
He was so weakened now, his breath barely gave him enough oxygen as he choked down smoke-filled air. His flesh burned horribly, as the flames ate him. A wordless scream of pain hit his ears, torn from his agony.
It had sunk in. He was well and truly alone. Especially now. He spared the energy to glance up to spot that the fire had caught the top of the pillow fort.
(Little bird, you've broken apart. I thought I might hear you sing, but instead I hear you choke as life drains from your breath. As your own fire burns you, as you realize you're nothing more than a mute bird. Now do as a canary in a coal mine, and die, like Jimmy did.)
A hand grabbed his shoulder, dragging him. The warmth licked at him as they were pulled through the fire, but he didn't waste energy to even look up, to see them. The voice was right... He was dying. This realization brought a sense of peace to his scattered mind... More hand reached, grabbing, pulling, hurting burnt flesh.
"I'll see you soon, Scar." He managed to choke out, a small smile forming. He'd finally see his friend.
"Sun..." The voice from before, the one that had tried to reach him, spoke urgently. He placed it now. Pearl. "Please... Don't leave." The world was blurry, and he couldn't help but let his consciousness slip away, even though something inside of him grasped life..
~+~
"YOU IDIOT!" A large humanoid shouted, storming in.
"OW-" Another one shouted in common as the palm of the first's hand slapped against their skin.
"THEY NEARLY DIED! HE LOST CONTROL. DID YOU NOT THINK OF THIS WHEN YOU UNFROZE HIS MAGIC!"
"Ma'am I'm sorry-" The second replied, trying to calm down.
"It's too late. This is your LAST chance... Honor your name, the home we gave you. You're our only one able to get on the inside, otherwise we'd have no use for a failure such as yourself."
"Yes ma'am..."
"Good. Remember, I gave you your title. Don't. Fail. Me."
"V- Very well."
"I know very well you intend to run, Do not risk it. I'm counting on you, Eyn."
A/N:
To people who have read Battle scars, The name Eyn might be familar... :>
To everyone else, they will be revealed in due time.
WC: 1843
- Xera