He's met a girl, and they've been going out. It's been making Manuel feel things that he feels like he's not supposed to feel with her but some other person that's destined to stay by his side forever, and not someone that he assumes will leave some time around.
Yet, he couldn't care less. A man in love is a man stuck in a hypnosis of the girl he's in love with. And Valentine's day arrives, so he can't think of anything else either than that of at least buying her flowers and maybe chocolate.
He sets out to the best flower shop around the city of Berlin, to gift to his beloved girlfriend. A smile keeps tugging at his lips as he walks across the zebra-crossing, his mind in an out burst of the images of the beautiful German girl.
He walks into a flower shop, greeted by a soft voice, that diverts his attention away from his thoughts. And he doesn't feel as in love with the girl anymore.
The voidless, clear blue eyes that he's come across makes his heart skip a beat. Like it's that one scene of a film where time freezes for the latter as his eyes fixate on the girl- but it's a boy. And Manuel knows, but he doesn't mind.
Doesn't mind how his heart flutters as the boy's voice emerges again, bringing him out of his trance. He's much shorter than Manuel, with soft light brown hair. Maybe I'm thinking too much, Manuel convinces himself and starts looking around for flowers that the girl might like.
The boy brings himself away from behind the cash counter with a small smile, his hands set behind his hips. Manuel couldn't resist from stealing a few glances from him. Someone thought he's over thinking?
- "What's your name..?"
- "Thomas,"
- "Manuel." Thomas smiles and looks up at him, immediately removing his gaze, with a blush formating on his cheeks. Manuel chuckles and continues looking around for flowers.
To his dismay, there's none that she might like. Or he's just over-prioritizing her by showering her with all the love and treats no man would give her in a lifetime. He's used to prioritizing girls to the extent where they start to see him for nothing but the treats that keep them well-fed and happy.
But Manuel is too much in love to understand. His infatuation in the girl is like a poison that's eating at his body and making his skin rot- but he doesn't mind, as long as it doesn't pain him.
It's the motto he's been living on in relationships since years. He hasn't given into his so-called motto just yet,- not until he's cut to the bone and struck in the mind.
There has never been any flower that's succeeded to impress the girl. And Manuel is well aware that today might be the same. So his heart doesn't pound from the thought of rejection. He's too used to it by now, and yet, he won't give up on loving her.
He continues to look around, with Thomas behind him. Manuel sighs and grabs a random bouquet of flowers and hands it over to Thomas, asking him to tie a down the center of the wrapping.
While Thomas does so, Manuel stares at the sun sinking, the last bit peaking up from the horizon. But that's soon, gone, and so is it's warmth. The beautiful hues of orange, red and purple stain the soon to be night sky- giving out a warm outlook. But in reality, it's cold out there. It's only the colors that make it seem warm when it's not.
And it's also the ocean blue hue of Manuel's eyes that prevent him from uncovering the pain that he's been through, under it.
The pain from being rejected constantly, every once in a while. His blue eyes like the tranquil waters of a silently flowing lake that's hiding alot under it's pebbles.
He believes, someone will lift those pebbles and grow to love whatever's underneathe. He hopes for that someone not to just love the tranquility and beauty of the 'clear' waters above, like all the other women he's been with.
And Thomas's pastel blue eyes meeting with his, feeds his belief.
---
The very same time of the year, just around 12 months later, in the same shop, standing in the exact same spot at the exact same time-- with the exact same shopkeeper standing behind him now only have to grown a year older,- but nothing had changed.
His stature is still much shorter than Manuel's, his eyes are still sparkly and wide and beautiful to look at- arising a feeling of warmth in him that reminded him of the girl he's here to buy flowers for, right now.
That girl is one alluring girl to look at, but that's just her outlook. It's how she is externally. But none of the women, including her- have never met with Manuel's expectations or maybe desires. Not that he's complaining- he's used to it and doesn't really bother to care. He needs something to spend his money on.
And he's finally able to put the pieces together, as he turns to window, looking out at the sun's tip just a few seconds away from sinking under the horizon until it does the same the next day, and the day after that- just until eternity or what we believe is the day it's gonna burst.
It begins to make sense. He's never felt shit with any woman before because he's never realized that he's doing nothing more than showering them with luxuries and his love that they don't deserve.
Manuel mentally slaps himself, because lord knows how long he's been with this stupid of a mindset.
He groans and looks at Thomas. Well not Thomas, really. It's always his eyes that he looks at before anything else.
The pastel blue eyes that he came across exactly a year back, this very same day, for the very same reason as he's come here for today. And this, being the second time- makes him fall harder than he's ever had.
He wants to kill himself for not realizing how much he's been in love with this man in the soul but not in the mind- for his mind was too filled and bothered with and by the thoughts of those unwanted women in his life- the women he's never needed.
His heart begins to pound harder. Hus stomach does back flips and it makes his pupils slightly dilate. His mouth dries up as he's forced to leave his lips slightly ajar, his stare intensifying.
- "What a work of God.." He mutters, just enough for him to hear. Thomas's brows bunch up together in confusion as his head tilts a tad bit to his side, confusion written all over his face.
- "Sorry? You were saying something..?" Fuck, his voice. He's finally well aware of how much he's a sucker for it, and wow is he.
- "N-No, just.." Manuel glances over at Thomas's little paying counter which is much of a small, decorated table. He smiles as something familiar comes of his notice.
- "This one, pack it.." Manuel pointed. Thomas beamed, as Manuel noticed a slight change in his eyes. There was a sparkle surfacing off his pupils that resembled his inwardly excitement.
- "Would you like a note with it?"
- "Yeah,"
- "Okay, so what to write?" Thomas grabbed a pen and smiled. Manuel felt like a fool to have not fallen for this angel before. So the preacher in his Sunday Church Assembly wasn't lying.
- "Your blue eyes are the ones that mine linger for. Your heart is what I want in mine. So to win it, I've given my all and..these flowers are for you to decide, whether I've succeeded on my mission or not. This is from Manuel, to.."
Manuel paused, adverting his gaze to Thomas, as Thomas perked his head up to where their eyes would come in contact again- none to which Thomas felt like a jar of butterflies were being released into his stomach, right?
Not that he didn't fall harder with each visit of the tall and charming German. Now he wishes to have never met this man.
It's better to not come across something you'll never be able to have rather than to just internally cry everyday, expectant of the bell of the door to ring which will drag his attention to a now familiar man walking in hall his glory, and his eyes are that he's been lost in ever since his first visit to the Floral shop.
Not that he wants to get out of it any soon, either. The small pool of black just at the center of his eyes that's just a void but not as spine-chilling and intimidating as expected.
His gaze is rather warm and comforting like the scrumptious smell of a warm cup of pumpkin latte wafting to his shop, every start of Autumn.
And Thomas has always waited for someone that would give him the warmth of a cup of Pumpkin latte- but they've never come, or which that he's not aware of.
- "...Thomas. To Thomas," Manuel whispers, as Thomas's grip around the pen loosens and his hand falls to the countertop, his heart to have melted in a heartbeat.
The warmth of the very desired Pumpkin spice latte that he's been waiting someone to embrace him with is now spreading across his body rapidly, his ribcage performing a tough job of keeping his heart from bursting out of his ribcage.
Manuel leans in and places a soft peck on his peachy lips. He doesn't know how else, or better to describe it. It has the perfect pinkish color of a peach and well, tastes like a peach. No sweetness to overpower, no blandness to wash the hint of sweetness completely. It's a perfect ratio of both, and Manuel is happy he's come across someone who's lips taste just the same as their personality and outlook and not like the artificial layer that they've put on display like the layer of lipstick on their lips hiding away their true skin.
Manuel hates the thought of that, now. He likes this. No, loves this.
Manuel pulls back and flashes a smile, as his short, golden brown hair twinkle from the last, dying rays of sunlight thay are being cut down by the horizon.
Although it's the same day, and he'd come here for the same reason- he's given up on that bullshit. He's realized.
And so, today is different. The door bell softly jingles from the autumn winds as their eyes stare through each other's souls, in and out, with nothing to hide.
And no longer is the horizon only stained with warm colors, it feels warm, too.
Maybe the ecstatic feeling of being in love for the first time for young Thomas, is it?
Or maybe not, because in years of dating this is the only one he can swear in the name of God, has been true to it's words.
He feels warm in Thomas's presence: there's no barrier that's put on his skin that's hiding the real him.
So he's fallen in love with the truth of Thomas's persona,- the glint of clearance that's been in living in his mind rent free for nearly a year.
You know damn well that you're in love, when you can feel the same warmth as you would when the scrumptious smell of pumpkin spice latte would cut through the chilly winds of the autumn season.
__________
This was supposed to be released earlier but I didn't, got too busy. Thought might as well publish this while I perfect Neymessi and other requests (ships). I hope Ramadan ends soon too lol, gettin' kinda tired and I really need to read Quran, or else no space for me in Jannat Ul Ferdous. :)