Remus and Ash sat on Remus's bed. Ash was fiddling with Remus's hand. They were reading. Ash's head on Remus's chest, an arm draped around Ash. The full moon was tonight. Remus had just yelled at the marauders to leave him alone. He had his outburst after Sirius had breathed too loud. They couldn't even stay in the same room. Ash was the only one allowed to stay.
"So how are you and ........?" Ash asks, afraid of the answer.
"Nothing. What about you? You haven't talked about anyone recently."
"No one to talk about. Besides you get annoyed when I bring it up."
"I don't."
"You do."
"Ok maybe I do."
Ash chuckles gently and grabs his hand.
"I think it's time for the Wolfsbane," Ash whispers.
"Alright," Remsu gets up and picks up the bottle from the shelf.
"And you're sure this will work?" Remus asks.
"You always doubt me," Ash laughs amused.
"No, I never do," he drinks it all in one swig.
"Gosh you are just too adorable," Ash watches him set down the bottle and wipe his mouth.
"Do you think I was too harsh on Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs?"
"Nah, you get a pass when you're so close to the moon, Rem," Ash dismisses.
"They're going to be mad that I let you stay."
"Yeah well, you're in love with me, you can't help it."
I am, I can't.
"You wish."
I do.
"I wonder if there's a spell to extract the wolfsbane from your system," Ash attempts to frown but she ends up laughing instead.
"Godric what would I do without you?" Remus pulls her into a hug.
"You'd do just fine. Now let's get to the shrieking shack. In case it doesn't work," Ash drags Remus out the room.
"Moony! Gosh you know you really scared us when you picked Peter up and flung him out the room," Sirius nudges him.
"Who knew my short, short sister would be the thing that calms you down," James jokes.
"I'm 5'7" an inch shorter than you," Ash says.
"Yeah but still shorter than me," James says.
"Come on, wouldn't want to turn into a werewolf in the common room."
They all gather to get under the Invisibility cloak.
"We aren't all going to fit. Peter turn into a mouse, James can carry you," Ash says.
"They can still see our feet," Remus says.
"Sirius will have to leave then," Ash says.
"Why me!?"
"Cause James has antlers and I glow in the dark," Ash says.
"What about Remus?"
"THE WEREWOLF?"
"Come on Sirius, you're a black dog," James takes ASh's side.
"Hey why didn't we ever go to the Room of Requirements for Rem's transformations?"
"We just never thought of it wings, why didn't you?"
"Well Remus was already transforming in the forbidden forest. I assumed that that was what he was comfortable with," Ash shrugs.
"What's the room of requirements?"
"It's where you will transform next month. Ok let's get going."
They all tuck under the invisibility cloth except for Sirius who held Peter in his mouth and lead the invisible Remus, James, and Ash.
Ash and Remus were still very close underneath the cloak. She blamed it on Remus being strangely tall. Remus was extremely aware of their proximity.
He was flustered and everytime they turned Ash would lean into him, only making him more flustered. He couldn't believe she didn't know the affect she had on him. He heard shuffling at the end of the hall and had to crouch in order to fully cover them. He kept his head low, buried in Ash's hair. She smelled like mint.
"Whatcha doing Remus?" Ash muses.
She could feel his breath on her neck. It tickled.
"Oh uh I heard someone... I thought I heard someone," Remus answers.
"Well by all means keep your head nestled into my neck then," Ash laughs.
"I'm not nestled into your neck."
Ash turns her head slightly, Remus felt her breath on his hair, "you are."
Remus blushes, "Sorry," he moves his head away slowly.
"Let go of my hand Remus," James swats his hand away.
"I thought it was Ash."
"Why are you trying to hold my sister's hand?" James whispers angrily.
"I uh-"
"He stepped on my foot, held hands since we can't see each other. Unless you want him falling all over me instead Jamsie," Ash says.
"Whatever."
Ash takes Remus's hand, they were still stumbling over each other but at least now they were stumbling while holding hands.
Eventually they reach the shrieking shack. Ash goes in with Remus. The others wait in the tunnel until after he had transformed. Remus would prefer to transform without anyone there but Ash was stubborn and after she had brewed him wolfsbane he couldn't really say no. She convinced him on the basis of, I don't care what happens to you I just want to know how my Wolfsbane works.
Ash sat on one side of the room and Remus on the other.
"So Rumes is a pretty good character isn't he?"
"He is. So good it's taken you 2 or 3 years to read about him?"
"Even better, I'll need another year," Remus chuckles.
"Tell me something about yourself," Ash says.
"Like what?"
"I don't know, something that you only want me to know."
"...I like chocolate."
"Oh no! What are we going to do now that the secret's out? Goodness, I am shocked. Did not see this coming," Ash mocks him.
"Yeah yeah. But you don't know why I like chocolate," Remus waves her off, "When I was 4, I was bitten. You already know about my father and his hatred of werewolves that led to me becoming one. But after I was bit, I ate chocolate. I ate so much chocolate."
"Remus..." Ash whispers connecting the dots.
"Chocolate kills dogs. Dogs are wolves. I was a werewolf. I thought if I ate enough chocolate that maybe I could be human again. That I could be normal," Remus tells Ash.
Ash made her way to him and pulled him into a hug.
"I thought you just liked how it tasted," Ash hugged him and rested her head on his shoulder.
"It's a bonus. Now why do you hate chocolate?"
"I just like not eating it more than eating it. Just, a preference," Ash looked into his eyes. He was the reason she didn't eat chocolate. She liked chocolate quite a lot.
"One day I'll convince you to like chocolate as much as me," Remus looks at the girl in return.
He couldn't believe someone so perfect existed. Someone so perfect who actually enjoyed being around someone like him.
Ash wondered as she sat next to him and played with his hands how he would be if he wasn't a werewolf. Would he be this sweet? Would he be sweeter? Would he have more friends? Would he study so hard? Would he be more confident? Would he be happier?
It's hard for werewolves to live in society. Hard for them to get a job.
"You're happy right?"
"Right now?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, right now, I'm happy."
"Good," Ash rolls his sleeve up and traces his scars, "You know despite what everyone else says, I don't think you're an ugly nerd."
"...gee thanks. If it's any consolation I don't think you're a pretentious know it all despite the rumors," Remus rolls his eyes.
"I think I'll transform soon, we've got to stop hugging."
"Cuddling actually."
"Either way you need to get away from me."
"I can handle myself."
"What if I hurt you?"
"Then I'll peck out your eyes."
"...I don't doubt that."
"Mhm," Ash smiles up at him as she drapes his arm around her and nestles into his side.
A few minutes later Remus twitches. It was time. Ash braced herself. She hadn't seen him transform in months. She leans over and kisses him on the forehead. She helps him out of his shirt, it would rip when he transforms anyways. He looks away as a blush spreads against his cheeks. He was wearing shorts that Ash had charmed to stretch.
Remus gives Ash's hand a squeeze. Another bone breaks and he get's Ash out of his grasp. She sits in front of him, wishing she could take some of his pain.
He was on all fours as his bones broke. He bit his lip in pain. He was in so much pain but he didn't want to scare Ash.
"It's alright I know it hurts, let it out. Might as well not injure your lips too."
Ash runs her hand along his back in an attempt to comfort him. It works but only because it was Ash.
"It's okay Rem. I'm sure you already know, it's not like this is new. I should've been there for you since the beginning. I'm here Rem. It's okay Rem," Ash soothes him.
"I love you Ash," Remus pants.
And right before he transformed he knew, he meant it when he said he loved her. And not in a platonic friend way. He had loved her in denial so long. He felt guilty for liking her. As if he didn't even deserve to have feelings for her. But he couldn't help it. He wasn't dumb enough to ignore it.
He loved her so much he had to admit it to himself. But too much to admit it to her.
When he transformed he looked around and saw Ash. his eyes widen in alarm. She wasn't safe. Why isn't she in her animagus form? I'm going to hurt her. I can't hurt her.
Remus starts backing away from her. Ash only get's closer.
"Rem, you're all right. I'm really good at potions," Ash grabs him.
He looks at his hands and then at Ash. He didn't want to maime her. He smiled.
"Touch your paw to your forehead if you understand me."
He does and she smiles wider. She already knew he would, but the confirmation brought her joy. She tells him she's going to get the others and gets up to leave.
Remus sat there and thought. He could think. He could think. He could think and he could control himself. Because of Ash. Ash returns with Sirius and James and Peter. Sirius was extremely close to Ash, like usual. As thought their proximity would make her fall in love.
"Blimey Ash, you really did it," James looks at Remus.
"So we don't really need to be animagus anymore huh," Sirius nudges Ash.
"I think it's still pretty cool."
Ash sat down next to Remus. Remus nestled into Ash. Her hand would occasional pet him mindlessly like she would a real wolf. Remus felt it as a tingling sensation as if Ash had run her hands down his spine. She ran her hands through his fur like how she would his hair. He sat there in silence thinning of all the times he fell more in love with Ash and didn't notice. There were so many.
Ash talked to the other marauders. They teased Peter about his crush on Mary and how they would help him. Occasionally Remus would nod along to the conversation but he was more focused on the girl next to him.
Why had James let them get so close? Sirius could never dream of laying in Ash's lap as her hands ran through his hair. He wouldn't mind the tousling but he would never get that experience. Why did James let Remus have it? Even when they were both in their human phase they were always cuddling, James always seemed oblivious to it.
Remsu pondered this. Maybe James just thought he was that little of a threat. That Ash would never go fo him, he was her brother, he would know. He clearly didn't know how Remus felt.
"What's your type Ash?"
At this Remus breaks away from his train of thought and listens intently.
"Don't have one."
"Don't you have a thing for quidditch players? Judging from your last relationships. A quidditch beater and a captain," Peter says.
Remus didn't play quidditch.
"Coincidence."
"No no no let's hear Wormtail out. I like this theory," Sirius says.
"No, I suppose I prefer when they're fit but it really is just a coincidence."
"Yeah she likes them social and confident. Like Fabian or Theo, outgoing blokes for sure," James rolls his eyes.
Remus wasn't social or confident. He could be social but he was a bit awkward.
"I really don't have a type. I mean, I don't date blondes but that's about it."
"Gee," Peter acts offended.
"Let's talk about Remus. You know, while he can't defend himself," Ash says.
"I heard he's fooling around with a hufflepuff girl, in our year," Sirius says.
"I heard it was two," james adds.
Remus shakes his head denying the allegations.
"It reminds me of when we were in potions and he was being asked out. Remember he spilled the entire cauldron worth of potion just to stutter out a rejection. She was a cute girl too," Ash says.
"Not as cute as Lilly-Flower."
"No one was talking about Lilly."
Remus would tell Lilly about his crush. He had to tell someone.
"How have your rounds been going?"
"Eh. Pretty uneventful, Remus always has more interesting nights than me," Ash laughs.
Sirius laughs, "He always come into our room and starts complaining about how all the couples seem to find themselves in broom closets when he's patrolling."
"I may or may not have something to do with that," Ash laughed.
Remus slooks at her with his ears peaked. This was his first time hearing about this.
"Don't look at me like that. Surely you didn't think it was a coincidence. All I did was give them a schedule of the nights you were patrolling and told them you were the most lenient so if they were to do it any night, it should be those nights," Ash shrugs, "Said if I caught them I'd make sure to expel them."
"That... is priceless. I wish you had seen his reactions. He'd be so flustered and upset everytime he came back. He would rant for hours about how couples had no decency anymore," James laughs.
"He's so innocent, like a puppy. He's never even had a girlfriend."
"I'd be surprised if he knew what a girlfriend is."
Remus wanted to speak out and defend himself. He wanted to let them know that he did in fact know what a girlfriend is. However he was unable to talk so he just settled for growling at them.
"I think he's only upset about the couples because he's single."
"Reckon we should set him up with someone."
Ash wanted to shout no. That he was hers but he wasn't and she couldn't.
"Let's set him up with Lilly Evans. I heard she was single and they're friends."
"Not funny Ash. What if I made a joke about... about... about Regulus dating someone else," James says.
"I'd join in, considering I don't like Reggie like that," Ash says.
"Yeah she prefers the older Black. The objectively better black," Sirius says.
"I do? I don't think I've met a Black better than Regulus, I'll have to meet this mystery man someday."
"Just date me! Please!" Sirius begs.
"James."
James slaps Sirius away.
"So you aren't interested in anyone?" Peter asks.
"Well there is someone but he's not interested," Ash admits.
"Well he sin't me," Sirius clarifies, "because I am very much interested."
James slaps him again, "Well I for one am thrilled to know this. You are too young to date."
"Yeah... I just wish he felt the same," Ash sighs.
She was still running her hands through Remus's hair absentmindedly. He watched her and the sad expression that was displayed on her face. She must really like this guy, his heart stung a little.
"Hey whoever it is, he's blind and stupid," James says.
"Completely bonkers, you should kiss me to get over him," Sirius offers.
"No."
"They're right you're amazing and if Remus could speak he'd agree," Peter says.
Remus nods his head at this and Ashs smiles lighltly.
"He just doesn't date," Ash says.
"Doesn't date? He sounds like a douche and my sister deserves so much better than a douche."
"Yeah someone like me."
Sirius is slapped again. He's slapped hard.
"I just wanted her to know she has options," Sirius rubs his cheek.
"Come here I'll kiss it better," Ash jokes.
Sirius trips over his own feet because of how fast he lunges towards her. She hadn't even gotten to this kiss it better part before he sprinted towards her.
James pulls him back by his collar.
"So who do I have to beat up?" James asks.
"No one. It's not his fault he isn't interested," Ash laughs at Sirius.
"It must be his fault, I can't think of anything that could prevent me from liking you," Sirius says.
"No, he just isn't into me."
"He's insane then."
"Come on just tell us who he is, we'll only pull a small prank."
"No, he's a good person. Deosn't deserve your wrath."
"You really like him huh?"
"Yea..."
Remus 's head dropped. Who was she talking about?
About an hour of talking later Peter yawns.
"Come on we can sleep. I can't remember the last time I slept on a full moon," Ash says.
"Aw come on it's only been what 2 years?"
"No, It's been a little over 5 for me. I used to stay with him since first year. Before we were animagus. I'd climb a tree," Ash says.
"Blimey Wings, you're a really good person!"
"Don't sound so surprised," Ash rolls her eyes.
"Alright good night everyone, we've got a charms quiz tomorrow."
"Oi watch this first," Ash throws a rock in the air and transfigures it into a blanket, "potions isn't the only thing I'm good at."
A minute later Ash drapes the blanket around her and Remus. She falls a sleep hugging him.
Remus wakes up and feels a weight on his back. He almost felt annoyed thinking it was Sirius lying on top of him in their dorm. But as soon as he looked around he saw Ash's hand. He couldn't really see her but the events of last night came back to him.
Should he wake her up? What if she was comfortable? He liked the way she rested her head on him with her arms draped across. Then he was aware opf how little clothing he was wearing and blushed. Peter, Sirius, and James were laid out on top of each other in what looked like a very uncomfortable position for everyone except Sirius.
He panicked internally wondering what to do. He really wanted her to be comfortable. He attempted to look back without waking her. That was anatomically not possible.
"What's got you so frazzled," Ash smiled with her head still resting on him as she watched him.
"Ash, how long have you been awake?"
"Since you transformed back into Remus," Ash drags her fingers in a circle along the top of his back.
Ash couldn't help but think of how attractive he was. Her eyes shifted to the muscles on his back. His arms, she ran a finger along his tricep. If there was one benefit to being a werewolf, it was this. He was fit. She spent the last hour laying on his bare back, she was familiar with every scar and every muscle. She wanted to do things with him that she knew no one had ever done with him before.
"Oh," Remus blushed.
"Yep, I mean you kinda shrunk 2 sizes," Ash laughs as she get's up.
"Um do you know where my shirt is?"
"Eh, we'll find it. Chocolate?" Ash hands him a bar as she walks around in search of the shirt.
Sirius was lying on it, she promptly kicked him aside and yanked the shirt away. The three of them wake up. Sirius cursed a little and glared at Ash but not for very long. He could never stay mad at her for long.
Remus watched the scene play out. He already knew Sirius was in love. He knew about Sirius's feelings before his own but now that he was aware of how he felt the scene only annoyed him more.
Ash tosses the shirt at Remus, "Do you need help putting it on Rem?"
It was an innocent question. Just last night she helped him take it off but a lot has happened since last night and Remus blushed profusely. He didn't know if he could handle her.
"N-no I've got it."
"You can help me put my shirt on," Sirius offers.
Remus hoped she would say no.
She doesn't even glance at him, "You're fully dressed and I wouldn't help you dress if you had no arms and a limp."
"Hey do you have anymore cookies?" Sirius asks, eating a shortbread cookie.
"I made those for you weeks ago."
"Saved it for a special occasion. You're really good at baking."
"Similar to potion making. But I do have cookies. For Rem," Ash digs in her jacket for a second before pulling out a crisp paper bag of chocolate chip cookies.
Remus's eyes light up, that's why she baked them. He refused to ask for them, not wanting to seem to eager.
Ash rolls her eyes and gives him the bag. He inhales three cookies, Ash hadn't even handed the bag to him yet.
"They're delicious. Do you all want some?" Remus offers.
"I'd love a few Moony."
"I'll have one."
"Um yes, thank you Moony."
"What about you Ash do you want any?" James asks.
Remus speaks up as he hands out the cookies, "she doesn't like chocolate."
James scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. She was his sister. She definitely liked chocolate. She would ask for it as often as she could and she's always loved chocolate growing up. He doesn't say anything but hw found it strange.
Remus was happy. For the first time in his life he thought maybe being a werewolf wasn't that bad. Maybe it was the best thing that ever happened to him. Because if he wasn't a werewolf he might not have the privilege of sitting next to Ash as he ate the cookies she baked on a bright sunday morning.
Ash was always curious. It's how she learned about his biggest secret so quickly. And in that moment he was so glad he had something interesting enough to bring Ash into his life and make her stay.
He didn't know that Remus could've been the dullest person in the world, some thought he was, Ash would've loved him either way. Ash couldn't think of a single thing that would make her not inevitably fall head over heals for the boy next to her.
Ash noticed the change. He had never seen that look on his face after a full moon. Never seen him refreshed instead of bloody. Never seen that goofy grin in the shrieking shack. She knew sleepless nights awaited her. She would simply have to brew Wolfsbane every month until one of them died.
Authors note:
Man I sure hope the until one of them died part wasn't foreshadowing.