Shikamaru doesn't consider himself a morning person, waking up a few hours before sunrise has been his solace today. The man looks over at Temari for what must be the hundredth time that day. The blonde rests on her side with her hair down and lashes fluttering against her cheeks, mauve lips parted and small, peaceful breaths falling from in between them. He smiles at the sight, debates on reaching down to move her hair out of her face, and decides against it before opening the flap at the front of the tent to look outside.
He can tell that the sun is about to rise. He's supposed to wake her up, but she was especially tired yesterday, so he lets her have a few more minutes of sleep as he quietly shuffles through their rations for the last thermal cup full of coffee for them to share. It's cold by now, as it's been sitting there since they left yesterday, but it's better than nothing considering they've been having to take turns watching so the other can sleep at every stop to prevent any enemy ambushes.
Tsunade and Gaara have them traveling together to multiple villages to deliver news and make preparations before The Fourth Shinobi War truly starts. It's the most Shikamaru has been around Temari for months, and while he's thankful for the opportunity to be with her for another day or two, he's also terrified on the inside.
The tensions between the Akatsuki and the Allied Shinobi Forces are at an all time high and the Akatsuki (or, what's left of them) will come for Naruto and Killer Bee soon- not only that, but there's not much he can do, as he's a small piece on the proverbial shogi board in this international conflict. Really, he knows that it's up to the Kages and the two Jinchurikis that remain to solve this and for him and the others to do as they command to solve the conflict.
Shikamaru isn't optimistic.
He could die, his parents could die, Choji could die, Ino could die, Naruto could die, Mirai could die, Kurenai could die, Temari could die. One or some or all of them could die and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it; like Asuma all over again. He shakes his head to rid himself of the thoughts- no matter how much he overthinks or conjures up strategy after strategy, realistically, he can't do anything aside from listen to what he's been told for now.
A groan falls from between his lips so loud that it startles Temari awake.
"What's wrong?" She asks, able to see right through him.
"Nothing," It's quick- too quick- and he can tell by the look on her face that she doesn't believe him. A blush takes over his face from the tips of his ears down to his chest, and thankfully, it's mostly hidden by the darkness of the early morning and hidden even more so when he turns his head to avoid Temari's prying gaze. "I'm just tired. Didn't get enough sleep last night."
"Right," She muses, unbelieving.
His gaze flickers over to her just fast enough to see the way she rolls her emerald eyes at him. Luckily, she doesn't bother saying anything else- they both already know he lied to her. As Temari reaches over and takes the cup of coffee from him to drink, Shikamaru curses himself for being so in love with her. They could both die any day now, and he's sitting there thinking about what it would feel like to hold her in his arms, take her on a proper date, wake up by her side every morning. He knows she feels the same, it's obvious in how flustered she gets around him, and he's not stupid. She probably knows about his feelings, too. It just so happens that every time he gathers the courage to tell her how he feels, something comes up; their promotions, more responsibility, The Akatsuki, Gaara's kidnapping and death paired with Kankuro's injuries, and now, the war.
After drinking most of the coffee and leaving Shikamaru with the remaining one or two drinks, Temari gets up and starts getting ready for the day, unabashedly getting undressed from her pajamas and changing right in front of him. Shikamaru has the decency to look away and only looks back when he hears the familiar sound of her packing everything up and finishing her morning routine; bags being zipped up, a couple spritzes of her perfume that permeate the tent, rubber bands snapping into place to keep her hair tied back.
They then proceed to stare at each other for a few seconds too long. Temari looks like an angel with perfectly done golden hair, emerald eyes, and unblemished, sunkissed skin. Meanwhile, Shikamaru knows he looks like shit with his hair a frizzy, oily mess, his face covered in a stress-induced breakout, and his eyes littered with wine-hued bags underneath them. It always surprises him that Temari never seems to care how bad he looks.
When the tension between them gets so thick that Shikamaru can't even swallow, he quirks an eyebrow and decides to speak.
"Sleep well?"
"Not really. You?"
"Considering that I only got to sleep for four hours before you woke me up to keep watch, I think you know the answer to that," He grumbles as he crawls out of the tent with Temari following, their bags in her hands. Shikamaru quickly deconstructs the tent set up and rolls it up so he can pack it along with the rest of their belongings. When he looks up, he sees that the sun is rising fast, blue and pink breaking the horizon along with orange and yellow. Their next stop is The Land Of Lightning, which is decently far from where they currently are on the outskirts of the Sound Village. "We should leave soon."
"I know," She responds, but sits down on the grass beneath them rather than make any move to start walking. Shikamaru shrugs and joins her. "You alright?"
"Mhm."
Nothing is said for a few minutes after that. They don't have time to waste, and it's unlike Temari to stall or mess around with completing a mission, but right now, it makes sense for them to delay the terrifying inevitable that approaches, so he figures it won't hurt to indulge her until the sun fully rises. In a rare display of affection, Temari rests her head on his shoulder. It takes everything in Shikamaru not to jump, but he manages to stay still and admire her face; burning red with a blush, eyes closed, terribly beautiful in the glow of the soft sunlight that's starting to shine as the sky turns more and more light blue. Hesitantly, he rests his head against hers and reaches to hold her hand, which she allows.
All Shikamaru can do is chuckle. He thinks of his friends at home, the ones who don't get it; Ino who says that can't see Shikamaru ever settling down with someone three years his senior, Choji who says Temari is too scary, Naruto who says that Temari is mean, Kiba who says that Shikamaru is better-suited to be single for the rest of his life. And maybe they're right. Shikamaru is young and doesn't know what he wants anymore, and Temari isn't especially sweet like some of the men and women who have approached him in the past, but Shikamaru doesn't like sweet. He likes Temari just the way she is, bitter and cold yet toothsome like the coffee he's holding with his spare hand.
"Temari," The ravenette whispers and interlocks their fingers before squeezing her hand.
"Hm?"
"If something happens and I die before you... I'll come back to you as this."
"W... What are you talking about?" She glances at him, brows furrowed together.
"I'll come back as this morning; the clouds in the sky, the sunrise, the smell of your perfume, and... Maybe you'll be reminded of me."
"You aren't dying any time soon, you idiot," She pulls away and reaches forward to flick his nose, which makes him blink as she crosses her arms and huffs.
"I know," Is all he says in response before it's quiet again.
It's a comfortable silence, but it makes Shikamaru think about the war, about her, about them .
He worries his inner lip, secretly dreading the day when the conflict ends; the day that they don't have any reason to be working together and end up going back to their own villages, left with nothing but the smell of each other on their clothes and on their skin to remember their time by until they meet again. And maybe it's selfish to think that way- especially when it comes to her- but no one has to know, and that's what he tells himself every time he wraps an arm over her shoulder to keep her close to him or stares at her for a little too long to memorize the comfortingly familiar curve of her trademark smirk.
Maybe- just maybe- it's okay for him to be selfish.
"I've been waiting for the right time, but it never seems to come," Temari mutters, breaking the silence. "So I'll say it now in case something does happen to us in all this... I love you, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru nearly chokes at the confession; the sincerity, the bluntness, and fuck , the way she looks at him when she says it. The air is knocked out of his chest at the same time that his entire body is lit on fire.
"I- I... Temari, I..." He stammers, which catches both of them by surprise. It's out of character for him. Then again, he does a lot of things that he normally wouldn't when Temari is involved. "I love you, too."
"Heh, not such a troublesome woman after all, am I?" Temari laughs like she's just won some sort of game between the two of them- one that Shikamaru didn't even know they were playing.
Shikamaru shakes his head, finishes the rest of the coffee, and stands up when he sees that the sun has fully risen. He considers leaning down to kiss her, but chooses not to do so in fear that the cigarettes and coffee on his breath will leave a bad first impression. The last thing he wants this early in the morning is to get chewed out for his lack of oral hygiene over the past few days.
"Maybe you're not as troublesome as I initially thought, but don't go and get a big head just because I told you that," Shikamaru nips at the inside of his cheek and scratches the back of his neck as Temari stands at his side, their items evenly divided and carried between the two. "You about ready to go?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," She snarks, something sharp and sardonic.
"Same. Being up this early is such a drag..."
They start walking together, another comfortable silence falling between them. Shikamaru can't help how his heart slams in his chest and how his mind scrambles knowing what's ahead of them, but at the very least, Temari's by his side- and she holds his hand again with her calloused digits and palm squeezing his own in this addicting, reassuring way that has him letting out a sigh of relief.
"You better take me on a date after this is all over."
"Where would you even want to go?" He inquires with a tilt of his head.
"Shopping... Or to the hot springs... Or maybe out to eat-" Temari's initial idea expands into three, and then five, and then ten. Before Shikamaru can even blink, she's listing idea after idea with no end in sight.
Shikamaru smiles.
"We can do all of it, you troublesome woman," He laughs. "Just give me some time, okay? Once we get through this, we can do whatever you want, Temari."
"Okay, Shikamaru."