You couldn't believe that it was already Friday, which meant there were only about two more days left before it was time to go back home again. Being in Jeju had simply been magical. You felt like you had just arrived and yet you also felt like you had been there forever. You hadn't missed home for a second; how could you have? All the boys were here with you, and wherever they were was home to you. The idea of having to go back home wasn't much of an issue, but the idea of returning to college, with essays, exams, and hours of listening, reading and researching, didn't feel as inviting. Although, the fact that you'd see Adam again made things a little less shitty.
It was after dinner that night when you had a rare moment to yourself. All the others had gone back to their rooms, and you decided to walk around the hotel. You liked walking in and around the hotel. It seemed like every time you did, you discovered or noticed something new.
The sun was already setting slightly when you did a lap around the deserted pool. The water was still and reflective like a mirror and you couldn't help but lose yourself staring into it. Suddenly you noticed someone sitting on one of the lounge chairs at the other side of the pool. They were staring into the distance and hadn't noticed you. It wasn't hard to recognise the perfect side profile from where you were standing. You walked over to him, freckles more visible as you got closer.
'Thought you'd be in your room,' you told Felix. He looked up slightly startled and you could just catch his index and middle finger slipping from his wrist.
'Oh hey y/n,' Felix feigned with a smile.
'What's wrong?' you asked. You knew what it meant for him to check his pulse. Felix bit the inside of his lips for a bit looking at you. You knew he wasn't deciding whether he would tell you, but how he would tell you.
'It's not too bad,' he spoke calmly with a small sigh. 'I just always start to feel slightly anxious when I'm not at the clinic for a while...' he admitted.
'Why?' You asked, sitting down next to him. Felix sighed again, his head slightly hanging.
'I know it's a bit stupid, but it just makes me feel like I'm not doing enough, you know? Like, I know I can't help or cure every single animal out there, but still. Not being there for them when they might need me... It makes me feel like I'm failing them,' he spoke softly and carefully, the pain in his voice evident.
'But curing them is not the only thing you do, right? I mean, your entire existence is what regulates fauna in general doesn't it?' you repeated the words he had once spoken to you.
'True, and I know I can't keep every animal alive either. It Wouldn't be good for the planet. But still. The idea of them, out there, possibly suffering...' Felix sighed. His expression looked pained. 'I wish I didn't have the need for sleep or food, so I could just work around the clock, you know, treat as many animals as I could. But I just can't. I hate that there's only so much I can do. Hate that even though I can often easily tell what's wrong, I can't always help them the way I wish I could. I just feel like it's never quite enough. Never quite good enough.' The way his voice broke at the end made your heart break, but you knew better.
'Felix,' you said his name softly, putting your hand on his leg, waking him up from his thoughts. He looked up at you, eyes gleaming wet. 'You do enough. You are enough,' you told him softly. He cast his eyes down but you weren't having it. 'No Felix, it's true. Honestly, you're starting to sound like Channie,' you tried to joke, squeezing his leg softly. He looked up at you. 'Aren't you always telling him he needs to learn to let go?' you reprimanded him. Felix swallowed and looked away ashamed. 'Felix, honestly, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you, for any of you. Carrying the world like that on your shoulders? That's not nothing. Everything you do or say is important to the world, feeling like there is not a moment where you can relax or slack off, because you have to be perfect, because there's an entire world out there relying on your performance, expecting something from you, expecting you to help them, fix them, do the right thing. That burden would destroy any normal person if they weren't as strong as you are. You might be a god, but you're still Felix. My Felix,' you spoke softly, taking his hand into yours now. It was soft and slightly cold. He looked up at your last words, a tear rolling down his cheek. 'I know you've been working your ass off for the last four years, heck the last centuries and you've never complained, you've always been there for others, barely ever taking a break. It's impressive, Lix. It's more than that. You're strong. One of the strongest people I've ever met,' you told him seriously. Another tear slid down his beautiful freckles and you resisted the urge to cry with him. 'Please, you're enough. You do enough. You're not letting anyone down.' you tried to assure him. Felix nodded silently and you wrapped your arms around his neck hugging him. He hugged you back, snaking his arms around you and held you close. You could hear him sniffle a few times and couldn't stop your own eyes from tearing up anymore.
'Now don't you go turning into Channie okay?' you said sternly but jokingly. Felix let go of you and gave you a watery but genuine laugh and nodded.
'I know. I know you're right. It's just been a little hard on me lately. Especially after meeting those other Gods. They seem so... impressive. So knowledgeable, like they have it all figured out,' Felix said, his voice wavering slightly but his eyes were starting to dry.
'Do I really need to tell an ancient God that he shouldn't compare himself with others here?' You said jokingly. Felix chuckled again.
'Yeah, I know, you're right,' he spoke once more. 'I shouldn't be too hard on myself I guess,' he said with a nod.
'You're allowed to live, Felix. You're allowed not to be so strong all the time. You're allowed to make mistakes and chill. If that wouldn't have been the case you wouldn't be sitting here with me beside you, both in human forms, both crazily in love with each other, right?' you spoke honestly.
'Crazily in love, huh?' Felix teased lightly, the smile in his voice making you feel warm as he squeezed your hand.
'Of course, that is what he takes away from everything I said,' you pouted, rolling your eyes.
'I'm just kidding y/n. I understand. Thank you for talking with me,' he said, softer now and serious. You smiled and leaned your head against his shoulder, watching the sunset with him.
'No,' Felix spoke firmly. Jeongin was standing in front of him holding a fishing rod, grinning broadly. You honestly had no idea where he had gotten it from, but it wasn't unlike jeongin to seemingly pluck random stuff out of thin air.
'Absolutely fucking not,' Felix repeated himself, shaking his head and giving Jeongin a very dirty look.
'How is this not okay when you're not even a vegan?' Jeongin complained, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
'I swear to god Innie, I will smack the-' Felix threatened, raising his hand at Jeongin, but the playful arch around the corner of his mouth gave him away. Jeongin already started dodging before Felix could finish his sentence.
The seven of you had all gathered in Hyunjin's room, which was the largest of all of your rooms. However, with seven people in it, it still seemed quite small. Changbin and Chan had already gone out, leaving the packing to the rest of you so they could rent a car to get to the harbour.
By now Jeongin had dropped the fishing rod and was jumping away from Felix, who was chasing after him.
'Can you not break down the room please?' Seungmin sighed, as he was packing up the portable cooler with sodas. But the boys didn't listen. Jeongin jumped onto the bed and looked at Felix tauntingly. Felix stood beside the bed narrowing his eyes trying to find a way to get to Jeongin without having to jump on the bed himself.
'What are you- Innie! Shoes! Get off!' Hyunjin hissed angrily as he got out of the bathroom and noticed Jeongin standing on his bed, still wearing shoes. Luckily Jeongin knew better than to piss off Hyunjin and quickly jumped off the bed. At that moment, Felix jumped onto Jeongin, locking his arms around him, and biting him on his shoulder. You knew Felix never really bit anyone, it was more like a play-bite, barely any teeth involved. You could see Jeongin struggling and yelping out in disgust but it was no use.
'So I packed the floaties, and the ropes,' Minho said unbothered, ignoring the struggling Jeongin in the background. 'Seungmin packed the drinks and snacks.'
'I got the sunscreen,' Hyunjin pitched in, showing the large bottles of sunscreen in his hands.
'I got some games and the speakers,' Han spoke, showing his already zipped-up bag.
'And I got the towels,' you added, showing the stack of neatly folded towels you had prepared.
An exasperated scream came from the two boys wrestling each other and all of you looked over. Jeongin was looking quite frustrated and annoyed, as he squirmed and fought, still trying desperately to get loose from Felix's arms around him. Felix however seemed completely unbothered by any of Jeongin's attempts to free himself and was now simply happily giving him a back hug while his head rested on the younger man's shoulder, his face a satisfied and cute smile. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight of it.
'Since- When- Did- You- Become- So- Freaking- Strong!?' Jeongin growled pantingly, still trying to get away from Felix's hug.
'What's going on?' Chan asked, entering the room and looking at the five of you chuckling at the two guys playing.
'Innie, needs to start working out more,' Seungmin said simply as he took one last look at the contents of the cooler he had packed before closing it.
'See Innie, I told you not to brush us off,' Changbin said tutting, shaking his head as he entered the room after Chan.
'No, I swear, it's not me. It's Felix, he-' Jeongin began, but the group ignored him.
'Got everything?' Chan asked the group, pulling your attention away from the two play-fighting each other. You nodded in response, as did the others. 'Okay good, we managed to rent two cars but they're quite small so it'll be a bit of a squeeze,' Chan said, looking slightly worried at the large bags that had been packed.
'I'm sure it'll be fine,' Minho said casually with a shrug. 'We can always leave Seungmin behind,'
Seungmin looked Minho dead in the eye for a second and snapped his fingers, a spark of electricity snapping between them threateningly.
'I can't- get it- to close,' Hyunjin sighed exasperated, trying his best to close the lid of the trunk but failing. He had gone back last minute, deciding he wanted to bring his bathrobe as well, causing the now overly stuffed boot to be unable to close.
'Let me help,' you offered. Together with Hyunjin you put your full weight on the lid and tried to push it down. You prayed that anything breakable wouldn't give in and that the towels you folded so neatly would distribute themselves so everything would fit better. But after three more pushes the lid still didn't close.
'Give it up Jinnie. You can do without that damn robe,' Changbin said out of the driver seat window, getting slightly fed up with the wait since most members had already gotten into the car.
'Lixie, lend a hand will ya?' Hyunjin urged Felix who was just about to get into the other car. Felix sighed but closed the door of the car he had just opened and walked over.
'All together yea?' Felix said, the three of you all with your hands on the boot of the car. 'One, two, three!' Felix counted down. You all pushed as hard as you could and-
CRASH
The boot had closed, but the sound it had made when it had, didn't bode well.
'Uh-oh,' Hyunjin murmured under his breath. You looked at the guys beside you with big eyes and they as well exchanged worried looks with each other.
'That didn't sound good,' Chan spoke worriedly, sticking his head out of the other car's driver seat window. Another car door opened and Han came out.
'What was that?' he said, sounding worried too. None of the three of you dared to say anything, and your hands were still on the boot of the car. 'What's going on?' Han pressed on. Slowly Hyunjin took his hands off the lid. Nothing happened. Nervously you followed his example, and the boot stayed in place. You and Hyunjin looked over at Felix. He slowly took his hands from the boot and there was another audible crack.
'What's happening?' Seungmin asked, getting out of the car now as well.
'Oh dear,' Felix said softly. He took a step back, and as if in slow motion, you could see the lid of the trunk starting to slide down. You and Hyunjin were just in time to jump back before the broken-off lid completely slid down and crashed to the ground. The loud clanking sound was almost deafening and within the blink of an eye all the members were standing beside you.
They were silent, all staring at the now lid-less car boot. Hyunjin's bathrobe lying on top of the other bags triumphantly.
'Hyunjin,' Chan said, his voice calm but the threatening sound seeping through in a way that made even you cringe.
'Yes sir?' Hyunjin whimpered, almost hearing an audible gulp from him. You didn't have to look over at him to know his head was slumped between his shoulders.
'Are you quite sure Gods are immortal?' Chan asked, his voice still in that feigned calm tone that exuded a dominance that made even Changbin fidget uncomfortably next to you.
'Run bro,' Jeongin whispered just slightly too loudly to Hyunjin. He didn't have to tell him twice. Hyunjin spurted away and Chan roared racing after him.
'Aaaaaaand, there they go. It was nice knowing Hyunjin,' Seungmin said, waving at the two streaking away.
'Leaving me to fix the problem, just fucking great,' Changbin grumbled to himself. He walked over to the boot lid and started to inspect it, still mumbling to himself. 'Who's the oldest? Who's supposed to be the leader? Tsk.' He clicked his tongue disapprovingly.
'Anything we can do?' You asked quickly, wanting to help even though you knew there wasn't much to be done.
'Well, it ripped clean off,' Changbin said, shaking his head and pointing at the hinges. The rest of the guys gathered around too. 'I think it's fixable but obviously, it's going to cost us,' he sighed.
'How can it even rip like that?' Han asked, staring at the lid in disbelief.
'It's just a matter of putting a lot of force on it, and at the same time dislocating it. And you know, Hyunjin's damn bathrobe.' Changbin grumbled. He got up and scratched the back of his head.
'What do we do now?' Jeongin asked, his normally boyish grin wiped from his face now too.
'I guess the best option is to unload the trunk, put the lid in there and drive it back to the car rental. See what they say,' Changbin sighed, clicking his tongue.
'I'll go with you,' Jeongin offered immediately. Changbin nodded, agreeing.
'So much for a nice boat trip on our last day,' Seungmin sighed disappointedly.
Silently you all started to unload the trunk of the car.
'Okay, now someone, help me put this thing in the trunk,' Changbin spoke, pointing at the lid.
'I'll do it!' Felix offered quickly. 'After all, I helped break it,' he admitted guiltily.
'Right,' Changbin said, bending to pick up the boot, and Felix followed his example. 'One, two, three-' Changbin counted down and they both lifted up the boot. But something weird happened. Changbin had been holding the boot slightly odd, and his hands started to slip as soon as he lifted it up. Changbin swore and dropped the lid from his hands. You closed your eyes and waited for another bang.
But it never came.
When you opened your eyes, Felix was holding the car boot in his hands like it was made out of paper. Everyone stared in disbelief.
'Wait what?' Minho spoke.
Felix stared at the thing he was holding, blinking like he couldn't believe it himself.
'Erm, ya'll seeing what I'm seeing?' Han asked, rubbing his eyes for a moment.
Felix lifted the lid higher up, over his head. Then he slowly put one arm down.
Everyone gaped at him.
'Erm guys...' He began with big eyes, 'I think I got my new power,' He stared from the lid above his head to you and the others. You couldn't believe your eyes.
Felix did a few one-handed push-ups with the lid still above his head like it weighed nothing. His open-hanging mouth started to slowly turn into a broad grin. He turned to face you, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
'Someone should probably call back Chan. Tell him it was me who broke the thing,' Felix said with a guilty grin and you couldn't help but grin too.