Things will come clear in the upcming chapters. For now, go with the flow of the story. These angsty chapters are going to shape the story ahead.
The transformation of Ruchi's character will happen slowly after here. This is a major breakthrough for her beautiful journey ahead.
I'll try to give frequent updates if not more but please readers do show some engagement from your side as well. This radio silence from your end makes things monotonous and hard for me to continue.
I hope you guys understand my rant.
Now, enjoy the chapter!
💙
|Ruin me slowly and force me to believe that there is a fault in the stars|
•present•
Ruchi didn't know when they reached the mansion. It was still dark outside, the cold wave along with the fog ruling the sky over the capital in the early months of the year. It didn't take long for anyone to pretend caustic after watching Aryan with another woman.
When they're busy ruining their night for his sake, he was busy dwindling his ways with Geetika, 'his so called friend' in the middle of the night outside some dingy hotel on the outskirts of the city. Ruchi should've believed him when he said that he was busy tonight because he really was busy tonight with her. She shouldn't have expected things from him knowing their reality.
Her mother-in-law had covered her shivering frame with a shawl that surely kept her body warm but her soul, it was arctic cold. She was high on notions and flighting with jouissance without focusing on the brakes of authenticity so she was obvious to taste the medicine of tragedy.
Soham Mallik had a hard time controlling his anger which was churning like a lava. If not for his wife and his daughter-in-law with him, he might have taught a lesson to Aryan on the road itself. In the middle of night, when they're insanely searching for him, dead worried for his well-being. He was laughing and smiling with a girl leaving his wife behind. How could his son, Aryan stoop so low? He wondered.
While his wife, Anchal was troubled thinking about what she saw. Her son was with someone else regardless he had a wife waiting for him at home. How could Aryan prioritize anyone else over his wife whom he claimed to be the one for him? Had the years old love faded over the bridge of time? Her eyes couldn't believe what they saw but it was an undeniable truth.
"Aryan!!" Soham's voice roared, making everyone flinch in the hall.
He was finally here after bestowing her with excruciating twenty four hours, Ruchi thought.
"Dad? You're here. When did you come?" He asked gleefully leaping towards them. "Mom, you should've told me." He implored, staring at the two women, "And Baby, what's up with you?"
Anchal looked at Ruchi apologetically but she darted her eyes away from her guilty mother-in-law to the floor. She didn't know what the apology was for? Just to compensate for some of her pain, betrayal, anger or something else. She couldn't decipher.
"Dad-" Aryan wasn't able to even complete his phrase when a loud echo filled the room. Ruchi clutched tighter on the woolen offering with her stomach swelling in agony. She knew her namesake husband was slapped by his father for his unforgettable deed.
Aryan's face didn't have a bit of traces of any kind of remorse but a state of shock which his senses certainly deciphered from the slap. Did he even comprehend the effects of his actions, Ruchi wondered. Her eyes lifted up to see him stunned by everything around him but guilt wasn't one of the emotions swimming in his darkest shades of black orbs. She could feel herself getting back to the monotonous state of vulnerability reliving the stories behind the scars from her childhood, finding a new space in her head.
"What did you do?" His father held Aryan's arm, his face displayed so much disgust and disappointment for his own son. "You didn't even fuckin' think once before spending a night out doing god knows what shit while all of us were aimlessly searching you throughout the night?" He shook his arm, "Didn't you feel like filth while doing it?"
"What did I do, Dad?" Aryan shot back, matching the furious glare of his father. "What the fuc' did I now?"
Soham scoffed and held the back of Aryan's nape, turning his face towards Ruchi forcing him to look up and meet her sore eyes. "That girl standing over there is your wife, Aryan Mallik. You married her in front of everyone. She has left her house to be here with you. She left behind a life for you-"
"So, what?" Aryan retaliated with anger, messing with his consciousness, "Why do you always say it like marrying me was some sort of crime?"
"Aryan-"
"Don't stop me now, Dad. You wanted to recount the sacrifices she made for this marriage, right? Then let me remind you about the consequences I had to bear to have her in my life." Aryan perceived indignantly, "An eight-year old boy was made the bad guy for some bizzare reasons, my character was marginalized that time and you never stood up for me. My own parents were never there for me when I needed them the most-" He rubbed his face which had grown red in anger, "You my dear Dad threw me away in a foreign place. You kicked me out of my house and away from my family to make me a fuckin' great human being while you yourself failed to behave as a father who didn't saw past the accusations on him. You're a great Dad, Dad." He laughed like a madman, "Don't start me on my wife now. She-She tainted a part of me that I wish had never been a phase of my life."
Aryan poured out and Ruchi knew he meant every word by heart. What baseless accusations he had for her in his defense? She couldn't help but laugh at her fate which had more haters than the number of people who actually cared for her in this life.
He moved his feet and stood up in front of her, trapping her into a penetrating gaze. He ducked his face closer to her and held her chin with utmost sincerity that seized her irregular breathing.
"You're a heartbreaker, Mrs. Mallik!!"
Tears rained down Ruchi's eyes hearing his words. How could he blame her? He was upset with her just because she was worried for his well-being or because she interrupted his gala time with his special friend who had to be in Dubai? This wasn't the Aryan she loved. He acted like someone who she deceived. She never heard him talking so bitterly with her. Then what changed overnight?
"I don't understand why you guys agreed to getting me tied down in the first place. When you highlight it everytime that I wasn't the golden candidate for her. You told me that I was obsessed with her yet you got me married? And you, Ruchi, you knew me all these years right then in your theory what do you think is my cryptic agenda behind it-?" His eyes hunting the depth of emotions through her fluttering gaze, "C'mon, don't back away from expressing your mind now. You owe me this answer, Ruchi!!"
Before Ruchi could utter a word or dare to move away Aryan was pulled away from her and another blow hit him in the form of his sweet mother who glared at him in a crunch of disapproval.
"She doesn't owe you anything until and unless you man up and accept your heinous deed. Love or not, you want her or not but she's your wife, Aryan." She solicited in an abrasive manner, "Your complaints or your past couldn't mold the fact that you're married to her now. You spoiled her life as it was you who interrupted her engagement not her so accept the truth and move on. You or I can't expect her to forgive you for cheating-" She advised.
"I didn't cheat, Mom!!" Aryan yelled, feeling like some crap product which played on a broken record, "I didn't chest on her with anyone. Why will you even say that?"
"Right!" Soham chortled, "Where were you the entire night then?"
"I was-I-"
"Yes, where were you son?" He was ridiculed when Aryan refused to utter a word, filling Ruchi's eyes with accusing tears and bleeding trust.
'Why don't you defend yourself, Aryan? Demonstrate your truth, Aryan!! Make us believe your words!! Say that you're being misunderstood by us. Explain your blame on me but please make me believe in you again! Don't crush my trust in you like it does not affect you.' She thought.
But all he gave her was scaffolding silence. A silence that was darker than a moonless night. A silence that was scarier than a horde of cries. A silence that was similar to death.
"I'm sorry, Ruchi! I should've known about his deeds. Our parenting wasn't really good enough to make him a decent man who can't differentiate between right and wrong. We're really very ashamed." Anchal said, her eyes glassy.
Ruchi didn't know what to say? She was devoid of any words.
She decided to move her legs to get out of here as this place no longer needed her.
During her feeble steps, Aryan's eyes halted her but his words didn't. Her swelling heart stopped her but his silence couldn't. Her dreams stopped her but his deeds didn't. Then why did she look back while walking away from there? She was tampered between believing what she saw and what he felt for him.
Anyway, losing the debate within herself she left the place.
She was a wanderer, who left again in search of a destination that might give her some love.
Ruchi didn't realize that she had come on to the main road, trembling on her foot while the harsh winds continued to push her back to the place which wasn't hers. If the man who owned the place wasn't hers then how could it be? But the reality was cruel just like her destiny. She wasn't his choice, she wasn't their choice either. She was unwanted.
It was past afternoon when Ruchi stood outside her paternal house with leftover chunks of vivacity. Tears disabled her to see past the obscene hangovers and believe that she'll be accepted here. This was her birthplace, she grew up here, she had memories preserved with her loved ones in the same place. She had every right to be here.
She caught a glimpse of her father sitting on the porch. Sunil was taking a swig from a cigarette causing her tears to burst out. It felt like the longest time that she hadn't seen him. She wanted to be near him and be in his warmth of fatherly love that no one else in the world can give her. She wanted to share her sorrows and forget her pain in front of his affection. She wanted her father and his undue love, the most today.
Ruchi wiped the tears off her face and knocked on the main door. She knocked again and it went unanswered. She grew agitated and started to bang the door harder.
"Papa!! Open the door, please!!" Ruchi shrieked, impatiently.
Sunil who was inside the house had recognized Ruchi's voice and presence on the door but he stayed back. He sat inside the living room, increasing the volume of a programme playing on the television. His intention was clear that he wasn't going to answer the door for his once upon a time daughter. His qualms of having her with him had gotten over the moment she was married. Sunil's responsibility was over and he wasn't going to invite his so-called daughter in his life anymore.
"Open the door, Papa!! It's me, your Ruchi. I have come to meet you. Please open the door for me, Papa!!" She said.
"Papa!!" Ruchi wailed inconsolable, "Just once, Papa!! Please, open this door once."
"I want to see you, Papa! I know you're inside. Please, open the door once. I promise, I'll go back. But just for once, Papa. Please, Papa... Yeh darvaza khol dein." She whimpered, falling on her knees. "For the last time, answer this door, Papa!! Please!! I-I b-be-begg you, Pl-Please!!"
["Open this door for me."]
"Agar aap yeh darwaza nahi kholenge, toh main kaha jaungi?" She shouted heartbroken, "Boliye, na!!" Her throat was constantly hurting with the unusual octave she used.
["If you don't open this door then where will I go? Tell, me!!"]
Her shoulders tired from carrying the burden of her unanswered pleas and unreciprocated emotions. Her eyes had given up the urge to spill out anymore tears. Her mind was worn-out and heart had surrendered to the battle to be seen and loved.
The ladies of the neighborhood had gathered around her by now. All watched the show interestingly but no one actually tried to find a solution. When one of the old couples who lived adjacent to the house called Sujal who was out of the town with Mamta and Kartik. They informed him about Ruchi who had come over to visit Sunil who was in the house. He had refused to take her inside or even answer the door. They retold the family about Ruchi's foul condition and futile attempts begging Sunil to meet her. The three were distraught to learn about it and especially when they couldn't reach Ruchi on time. Kartik on an instinct called Samiksha who was equally shocked hearing it from him. She along Vivek hastily scurried down to their friend's aid. Once outside the residence, they pushed their way inside the gossiping crowd.
The twins were revolted watching Ruchi's rumpled shape. Her begging and yelling on the closed doors creaked like reiteration except that it didn't coin success to diffuse the cold-bloodedness of her father. The splintered syllables couldn't earn the mercy of the pachydermatous. Her unruly tresses were destitute, the fabrics she donned were muddled, her shining orbs were pale, chaotic and intoxicated with anhedonia, dark circles embellishing under her eyes exhibiting the vacuum of sleep, her cheeks caved-in footprints of malnourishment and trepidation, the chapped lips due to dehydration and the fresh blisters on her foot evidently recited her desperation to be acknowledged. She wasn't the girl they knew or befriended.
Samiksha was brought out of the stupor when Vivek shook her hand, driving her focus on their friend who was not herself. Samiksha was coy about approaching Ruchi without breaking into sobs herself. She didn't have a heart to see her like this, vandalizing herself for someone who didn't seem to care. Samiksha was talked about for her obstinacy but at this instant she came off as incapacitated.
She shook her head at Vivek who grasped her predicament. He took steps near Ruchi who was still pounding on the door like a lost lamb. He tapped on her shoulder and she stared at him with her bloodshot eyes. An unhampered blub absconded her mouth and she stuck up her finger at the gateway mumbling incoherently.
"He's no-not ans-swering-g my calls. My father is not opening the door for me, Vi-Vivek. What had I done to upset him? Please, you ask him to unlock the door for me. Tell him-him, that-t his daughter-hi-his Ba-Baby is here. He doesn't know that it's m-mee, Vivek. Please! Please, tell him!!"
She seemed irrational at the moment for seeking mercy from the unmoving rocks. Vivek rubbed her arms and made her stand up forcefully while she dodged his attempts, fruitlessly requisitioning for him to get the door answered on her behalf. He pushed the crowd away again while walking Ruchi to their car and somehow making her sit on the backseat beside him while Samiksha got on the wheel.
"Why would he not want to see me? Am I so bad?"
"Why does he hate me so much? What wrong did I do to him?"
"He's my father and he ought to punish me if I make a mistake but why does he make me feel worthless, Vivi?"
"Why does he always make me feel not enough? Why can't I be enough for him?"
"What wrong did I ever do to him?"
"Why do everyone despise me so much that they leave me?"
Ruchi's unreliable questions occupied the bleak car ride which didn't earn her any answers of relief. Instead, she was webbed with insecurities and humility. Samiksha fought hard with her tears while Vivek with much effort managed to put Ruchi to a much needed slumber when they made it into Samiksha's room.
"She has slept."
Vivek muttered in unease, shutting the room's door behind him. It was all that took Samiksha to break into whimpers that rushed like a retrained dam. It was the first time her twin heard her deafening sobs, years after the day their parents left them on their own. Vivek perceived his sister as the strongest woman out there who brought him up, never let him miss their over-busy parents and surrounded him with happiness when everything seemed dull without the love of parents. For the world she was just his older twin sister but for Vivek, Samiksha was his parent, she was his guardian, the maternal love he desired, she was the ideal which everyone else searched outside. And watching his ideal break was troubling him the most.
He knew Samiksha and Ruchi's bond was that of pure friendship and selfless love. He had seen both of their struggles while growing up, witnessed them smiling through the hardships and finding joy in the smallest of things. Ruchi was like a younger sister to him and watching her in agony never gave him peace. Both of them were the pillars Vivek could fondly lean upon at the times of distress and now when they needed a shoulder to weep and vent out, he had no idea how to support them.
"Sam!" Vivek wiped off the moisture in his eyes and sat beside Samiksha who was wailing like a kid, "You're free to cry but do not get the clogged stuff out of your nostrils else you'll look like shit!!" He joked. "And Samiksha Khanna isn't known for doing shits!! She's the badass assassin everyone fears, huh!!" He prompted, wishing to ease her grief. "You've got an image to sustain, big sissy!!"
"Samiksha Khanna is a coward too, brother." Samiksha tried to smile through her hazy tears, "She feels when the burden on the chest gets unbearable. She gets affected watching her loved ones in pain. She's frail like her best friend because she's not heartless, Vivek." She sniveled. "But I wished to be heartless just like our parents.. just like Ruchi's insensitive father." She reported, "Maybe then I would've punished them in a language they understood."
"It's not your fault, Sam!" Vivek dabbed his arm on her shoulder in order to console her. "None of the happening adversities are your fault. You have always tried to be the best version for me, for Ruchi and that's enough for us to believe in your love. You don't need to prove anything."
"What about Ruchi? What did she ever do to deserve this pain? She had been everything but wrong then why is it always her? What was her fault?" Samiksha demanded.
"The fault is in the stars, Sam!" Vivek sighed, hugging his sister closer to give her the selfless love every human being deserves and longs for.
Lots of Love,
ANKITA