It had been a couple of days, I had the best time with Grace and Evie, I missed them a lot and having to spend time with them, which is why it's going to make it hard to walk away now.
I liked being with them, I liked remembering the memories we shared, the moments we had, the love we shared, I missed it, and I missed them too.
'Another, Another, Another', Grace chimes as I get out of thought and watch as she turns her head to look at my past self, 'there isn't another one until tomorrow', she tells her and Grace scowls whilst I laugh to myself, her favourite show is Scooby Doo, she loves it and won't miss one episode, 'I want to watch another one though', she asks.
'Well you'll have to watch a clip you've already seen', she says and Grace nods to the idea, 'Yes please, put it on', she instructs her and I watch her reach up, grab the black case and unzip it, 'what's that', Grace asks her.
'All the clips on Scooby Doo', she says and proceeds to take one of the cassettes out, 'really, I didn't know you had them', Grace says whilst she put it into the VHS, 'One because I forgot, and two, because your a baby who refuses to watch anything else', she says and I'm laughing with the team, she's right, she does, no matter what other shows you'd want to put on for her, she refuses before watching anything.
'I'm not a baby', she scowls at her and she laughs at her, 'when you've learnt not to scowl and pout, then you won't be a baby', she says and she huffs at her, 'meanie', she muttered whilst we continue to laugh.
'You really want to be calling me mean, remember, I got all these tapes for you, so you have to be extra nice to me or else I'll take them back', she says and Grace is pouting and then takes the album off of her and hugs it to her chest, 'No, they're mine now', she says and we snicker, she's a cute little thing.
________
'No', my past self says to Grace whilst she looks at her after she tried to catch the pen out of her hand, but doesn't succeed, 'I'm bored', she tells her, 'you've been writin' for hours, I want to play now', she adds.
'Go play with Emori and Apollo, I need a few more hours', she tells her without looking away from the sheet and continues to write whilst Grace huffs, 'you said you'll play with me', she says.
'I won't be able to today, maybe tomorrow', she says and Grace is becoming upset with her, 'you said that yesser-day', she says and then becomes upset which makes my past self stop and she looks at her, 'Fine, what do you want to do', she asks her and Grace shakes her head, 'forget it', she tells her and my past self pinches her chin with her index finger and thumb and lifts her head, 'come on, I'm done, we'll do anything you want', she says and smiles at her, 'forget it, I'm not bored anymore', Grace says with a huff to her voice.
'What if I'm bored', she asks.
'Go play with someone else then, I don't want to play anymore', she replies and then shoves her hand away, 'did anyone ever tell you, you're cute when you get mad', she says and then taps her nose whilst Grace snaps her a glare and she laughs at her.
Grace then proceeds to huff and cross her arms over, 'I'm not cute', she states whilst she continues to laugh, 'Fine, you're adorable', she corrects.
'Go away, I hate you now', she states and my past self wraps her arms around her waist, 'you sure you want to hate me', she says and she nods.
'Fine, but I have all the other kids that like me so I can play with all of them instead', she says and Grace is glaring at her, whilst I laugh to myself, she always had a problem with sharing me with others, 'your extra pouty today aren't you', she says with a laugh to her voice, 'come on, tell me what you want to do, and I'll do it with you', she repeats again and when Grace is silent, she smiles, 'how about doing some art', she asks her, 'or taking Emori and Apollo for a walk', she suggests and when she's still quiet, my past self nods, 'Fine, we can bake cookies but if the kitchen sets on fire, I blame you', she says and then she's laughing whilst we do too, 'Stop, I'm still mad', she states and I watch her laugh at her, 'well, more cookies for me then', she says.
'No, they're not', Grace says and we're laughing again.
'You only get cookies if you talk to me', she says to her and Grace frowns, 'no, I get them both ways', she said and then begins to ignore her again, so my past self reaches out, and begins to prod her which makes her laugh, 'stop that', she tells her and swats her hand away but she doesn't stop.
'Only if you don't ignore me', she says.
'No', she tells her and does it again which makes Grace go into a laughing fit and she scoots out of her reach, 'stop it, or else I'll fight you and win', she breathlessly says and my past self gleams a smile at her, 'I dare you', she challenges and when she prods her again, Grace pounces on her and begins to play fight with her, 'surrender', Grace asks.
'You wish', she replies and then Grace gets the upper hand when my past self falls on her seat, and Grace pins her there, 'surrender or die', she says and I watch my past self try not to laugh, 'I'd rather die', she says then grabs onto her, springs up and arches her back, which is when Grace is pinned onto the seat, 'I win', she says, 'now I'm going to eat you', she warns and does it, which makes Grace laugh harder then she ever has, 'delicious, you taste like cookies', she tells her and laughs when she giggles.
When she thought it was over, Grace pounces onto her back and wraps her arms around her, 'say it or else', she warns.
'Okay, I'm sorry, your too strong for me', she says and Grace tightens her hold around her, 'and', she asked.
'Fine, I surrender, I didn't realise how much of a miniature psychopath you were, so I surrender', she says and Grace laughs with us when she lets go.
________
'What are you working on', Wanda asks my past self as she looks up at her for a brief moment and then goes back to writing, 'just some stuff on Hydra, I'm deciphering some codes', she replies.
'What kind of codes', Peter asks her.
'Morse code', she responds, 'do you know morse code', she questioned and watches him shake his head until she goes back to her paper but before the pen touched it, her hand begins to shake and she stops, looks at it with the furrow of her brows and then outside the window.
She's then out of her seat, no quicker then half a second and quickly runs out, 'Grace', she shouts as we're all quickly following close behind her, 'Grace', she yells again and it's then she runs out from the other side of the train, and runs to her.
'What happened', she asks as soon as we saw the tears and my past self pulling away from her, 'it hurts', she whimpers and before she could ask, Grace shows her her hand, which had a gnarly scar on it and her hand filled with blood.
We're then following them back into the locomotives and I grab the first aid kit first and hand it to her when she sets Grace down.
The first thing she does is grab a towel and press it onto her hand, 'how did you get yourself hurt little one', she asks her and Grace cries more, 'it was an acid - ent', she hiccups and I wipe her tears away.
'I fell and the glass broke', she adds and my past self begins to sooth her whilst putting the Tv on to her favourite channel again, 'it'll be fine, I'll fix it up so it's good and new', she tells her and Grace blinks through her tears and pouts.
'No, no, no, no, I don't want too', she whimpers and cradles her hand to her chest, 'I'll be gentle', my past self promises and then she goes silent, so she gives her a moment until she's comfortable with touching her hand.
'Shh', my past self calms her whilst she grabs some medicine and spoons some out for her, 'here, eat this for me', she tells her and Grace moves her eyes from the screen, to the spoon and then my past self who shares a warm smile to her, which she takes and swallows, and then leans back into my past self chest.
When my past self tries to remove the towel, Grace dry heavs and I'm quick to run my hand on her back, 'are you okay', I ask and when she gives me a nod, I look over at Wanda, who had brought over a glass of juice and hands it to her, 'here, drink this, it'll make you better', she tells her with a smile and I smile whilst Grace takes slow even sips.
________
'I want that', Grace says when she points to the cake that showed on the screen and my past self nods, 'I'll get it or Evie can make it', she tells her whilst almost finishing the needlework she was doing on her hand, but stopped when Grace's fingers moved.
'Evie can make it', she replies as she looks up at her, 'then I'll ask her for you', she says and then finished the rest when she falls still again.
'There perfect', my past self tells her and Grace peels her eyes off of the Tv she was watching that kept her distracted for forty minutes so she didn't become more upset or complain about the pain, which I doubt she was in, since my past self numbed the area before she stitched it.
'It didn't hurt', she says and my past self smiles at her, 'because I know what I'm doing', she says and grabs the gauze, 'let me wrap it so it can heal properly', she tells her and Grace moves her hand to her.
When she's done wrapping and ties it off from the bottom, she looks at Grace who watched her do it, 'there you go', she says and Grace moves her hand to her, 'kiss it better now', she says with a pout and we laugh whilst she does it, 'anywhere else', she asks.
'Mmm', she mumbles, 'here, here, and here', she points to her face and I watch myself laugh as she does it.
When she's done, Grace wraps her arms around her, giggles and hugs her tighter, 'I let you go outside for half a second and you managed to hurt yourself', she says and Grace pulls away from her, 'next time you use training cups and there's no arguing about it', she says and Grace laughs, then begins to stifle a yawn as my past self looks over at the time, 'so, your finally knackered out', she says and Grace nods, 'Mmm, let's go to seep', she tells her and I watch myself smile, 'I still have some work to do, but you can go to sleep', she says and Grace moves over and tucks herself into her, 'I'm sleeping here then', she says and my past self laughs, then reached under the bench and grabs a blanket and Grace's favourite teddy, which she instantly attaches to as my past self wraps her into the blanket.
'I want my binky', Grace says and I laugh to myself whilst my past self looks down at her, 'No, because your not a baby and you don't need it', she tells her, which only makes her frown at her, 'please', she says innocently.
'Keep pouting, it's not going to work this time, your going to sleep without it', she tells her and the air is filled with Grace's huff, 'Fine, don't talk to me then', she says and then throws the blanket on her face and my past self sighs herself and grabs it from the same cabinet.
Then she takes the blanket off of her and stares down at her, 'you're lucky your cute', she tells her which makes us all laugh and Grace giggles, 'give me', she tells her and when she reaches over to put it into her mouth, she moves it from her opened mouth, 'Stop that', she huffs out and my past self snickers, 'say please', she says and Grace looks at her with a frown again, 'No', she tells her.
'Then you don't get it', she says and Grace huffs again, 'Fine, please', she repeats and my past - self laughs and before she puts it into Grace's mouth, she puts it into her own mouth first, then slips into Grace which makes her instantly suck onto it.
'I thought you said you weren't a baby', she says.
'I'm not, I only wike it', Grace muffles against the pacifier and then sucks on it again which makes us all laugh, 'now read peace', she asks and my past self is already grabbing a book and then opens it.
'Ready', she asks her and when Grace nods, she begins.
'Once there was a little dinosaur called the Maiasaura, who lived with her mother, one day she told her mom, 'I wish I was special like the other dinosaurs, because if I was a T-Rex I would chomp with my ferocious teeth', she red, as Grace looked at the pictures displayed on the book then takes her pacifier out, 'But if you we're a T-Rex said her mother, how would you hug me with your tiny little arms', she red as my past self snickered, 'I wish I was an Apatosaurus', my past self says this time, 'said the little Dino, so with my long neck, I could see high above the tree tops', she reads without looking at the book but continues to turn each page so Grace could see the pictures, 'But if you we're an Apatosaurus, said her mother, how could you hear me in the treetops when I told you I loved you', she says whilst Grace's eyes begin to fall.
'What makes you so special little Maiasaura? said her mother, is it your ferocious teeth, or long neck, or pointy beak, what makes you special, is that out of all the different dinosaurs in this big wide world, you have the mother who is just right for you, and who will always...', she begins to finish until Grace interrupts with her tired voice, 'Love me', she finishes and we're all laughing and chuckling as she drifts off, 'night, night kisses', she whispers to her and my past self giggles and then does it.
'I'll be here to protect you, always', she says when she gives her two sweet kisses on her cheeks and Grace has already nodded off.
________
'Where did you get that from', my past self whispers to Evie when she returns from her shop and puts a huge bottle on the table.
'A friend knew someone who was sellin'', Evie replies in a whisper so they didn't wake Grace up, '...I mentioned I'd pay double if I can get the biggest bottle', she states and slides into the seat next to her, 'it was a little pricey but the stuff is to good to resist', she adds.
'Evie, you didn't need to buy it, you know how illegal this stuff is', she tells her.
'I'm not passing on the opportunity, besides this stuff sells out like hotcakes and I snagged one before it was sold out', she explains, 'but if you want me to return it, I can', she says.
'Hey, I'm not that rash, Moonshine is too good for it to be send it back', my past self tells her and they both laugh.
'What's Moonshine', Wanda asks them.
'It's basically an unaged whiskey, but it's homemade and the main ingredients are corn and sugar', I explain to her, 'it's during the fermentation that the sugar produces ethanol which makes Moonshine or in other terms Hooch', I add.
'That's exactly right', Evie says and I smile at her, 'the stuff is usually produced in the dead of night so no one gets caught making and selling it off', she further explains and Wanda begins to understand, 'oh, that seems like a lot of trouble for a drink', she says.
'We only get our hands on it when we can, which is just once a year, it lasts us that long anyway, but the reason it started, is because of the taxing liquors and spirits', my past self states, 'they're sky rocketing and the government likes to add more dough on what people can't afford, so hence the reason why moonshine was created', my past self finished explains.
'Dough', Wanda says as a question with the furrow of her brows, 'money', me, my past self, and Bucky say at the same time and I laugh to myself when I look at him.
'You guys are certainly not around here are you', Evie tells her and she shakes her head, 'we told you, we're from the future', Wanda says.
'How long away in the future', my past self asks.
'I can't answer that', she says.
'Well, can't blame a girl for trying right', she says and we laugh whilst I see Grace move in her arms and when she looks down, she keeps very still until she's fallen asleep again.
'Let me put her to bed for you', Evie says and my past self shakes her head, 'no, she'll be mad I moved her off of me if and when she wakes up, so just leave her', she replies and we're laughing to ourselves again.
'How long have you had her', Nat questions this time.
'Since she was three and a half, she's almost five now', My past replies and Nat smiles, 'she looked much longer than that in the videos', she says.
'What videos', Evie and my past self question and I shake my head at her, 'nothing', I tell them and they fall silent.
'Anyone up for anything to eat', Evie asks and gets out of her seat.
________
I had quickly slipped on my Nano Mask, I honestly forgot I had the thing, until Bucky and Steve put theirs on and we slipped it on without notice.
We didn't need him to become confused or know of our true identity, my past self already knew and I was afraid if more people knew then something could change when we got back, and I didn't want that, neither would the team.
'God dammit', my past self shouts at Oscar, who was trying to stitch her arm from the stab wound she had on there, 'keep still then', he tells her and she sighs at him, '...this would have been a lot less painless if you had medicine', he states.
'I forgot to stock up and whatever I did have, I used all on Grace', she tells him and he threads the needle into the skin again, 'what happened to her', he questioned.
'She fell and hurt herself on her hand, but she's okay now', she replies and when he puts the needle in again, her other hand slams onto the table, 'have some of this', he tells her and she takes the bottle and takes a few pulls of the liquid.
'That was a disaster', she tells him, 'did anyone else get hurt', she asks and he shakes his head, 'no, I sent them all home after I double checked', he says and she nods.
'Okay, your done', he tells her and she looks down at her arm, then moves the bottle and pours some of the liquid on her arm.
After that, Oscar wraps it in gauze and ties it off.
'Okay, you ready', she asks him and he nods whilst my past self stands and takes his hand when he offers it and puts her other hand on his shoulder, 'on the count of three', she says and he grabs the bottle and takes a few pulls too.
'One', she begins, 'two', she counts and then pops his shoulder back in place and a groan rips through the air, 'son of a bitch'.
'No swearing Oscar, not when Grace is under this roof', my past self tells him when he takes another pull, 'I thought you said on three', he states.
'I did, but I thought quick and swiftly would have made it less hurtful and it did', she replies and he shakes his head and takes another pull of the substance.
'You guys should go to a hospital', Peter tells them and Oscar looks over at him, 'we don't do hospital', he says, 'we've been medical trained, so everything we know, doctors know too', he adds.
'Oscar', my past self calls out to him, 'make sure everyone's rested up, the mission this week, will go ahead', she says and he nods.
'I will', he said and then looks at her, 'so this will be the last mission huh', he states.
'Yeah, if we get everything right, then yes it will', she explains and looks at him whilst he takes a few pulls of alcohol, 'your giving me that look again', he says when he catching her, 'what is it', he asks when he's wrapping a bandage around his arm and she shakes her head, 'nothing', she replies and grabs a mug.
'Did you forget the code and tradition of our family', he states and she sighs.
'We protect those who cannot protect themselves', she recites, 'I remember', she says and he sighs this time, 'I mean the other one where the women in the family are trained to be leader, and the sons trained to be soldiers', he says, 'now given that, every decision you make I follow with every other agent that works under you, so what other decisions, that you haven't told me, do I need to know about', he asks.
'I've told you everything Oscar', she says and takes a sip of her coffee, 'everything I know, you know, so drop it', she tells him and he sighs again.
'Fine, I'll find out myself then', he says and then gets out of his seat, 'Oscar, stop', she instructs him but he doesn't listen, so she takes out her gun and points it at him, 'you don't stop', she says, 'I'll shoot you in the knee caps', she warns him and he stops and turns around, 'really, this is what we've come too', he says.
'I'm sorry, but this burden is my own, you have Mary and Finn, so I need to take this on alone and even if anything fails, I've put methods in place where Hydra will eventually be taken down, it's just the matter of putting down cards on our side to ensure the downfall', she explains.
'Your burden', he scoffs, 'you do know it's my burden too, mom will climb out of her grave and tear me a new one if she found out I let something happen to you', he tells her, 'you and Evie are my responsibility, no one else, just mine alone, because I made that promise to her before she passed'.
'Oscar', my past self calls out to him but he interrupts her, 'I don't want to fight', he tells her, 'so I'm leaving, if you want to shoot me, shoot me, but make the shot count, because I'll go crippling out of here if I have too', he says and then walks to the door whilst my past self sighs and puts the gun down.
'Dammit Oscar', she mutters and looks at him when he's out the door, 'I heard chatter that our uncle will be there', she tells him and he stops and looks at her, 'we haven't seen him in years', he says and she nods.
'I know but I have a reliable source working with him that told me he'd be there, so this will be a good thing, for all of us', she says as he steps back inside, 'what we're you planning to do', he asks.
'Kill him, even if I go down with him', she responds and he looks at her whilst the team do to, 'if I let him live, who knows what other damage he'll cause, I'm putting him down, once and for all', she tells him, and I know there's other more important information she's leaving out from him.
'Then we do it together', he tells her but she shakes her head, 'Oscar', she starts but he interrupts her, 'don't give me some crap right now, I'm sticking by you and there's nothing you can do about it', he tells her and the only thing she does is sigh at him, 'fine, but if something happens to you, I'm not taking responsibility for Mary and Finn', she says and he smiles, 'yes you will', he says and she gives him an annoyed look that we laugh about.
''You want a hug, it'll make you feel better', he says and she scoffs, 'touch me and you lose the same arm you dislocated', she warns him but he still hugs her with her arms pinned under his, 'you have three seconds Oscar', she warns him again
'Ooo, are we doing group hugs, I wanna join', we heard Evie squeal when she comes in and then jumps onto them, 'Evie', my past self warns her too but they just laugh with us.
'If you both don't get off me in the next two seconds, both of you will be in a world of hurt', she warns them again.
'Don't act like you don't love it', Evie tells her and she rolls her eyes, 'two, one, zero, your both getting hurt', she says and they're the ones to get off of her first and she gives them a look, 'your lucky', she says and they laugh with us whilst Grace comes out from the other room with her teddy in between her arms and a frown on her face, 'you didn't give me morn hugs, so no talking to me now', she says to my past self and she scoops her up, 'I'll make it up to you now', she says and Grace tucks herself into her.
'Why does she get free hugs', Oscar asks and she looks at him, 'because she's cuter', she responds and we're laughing again.
________
'Y/n', Evie calls out to her and when I look over at her, she's staring out in space, like she's zoned out and is in her own space with Grace tucked into her chest whilst she lies there, looking at photos in a book.
'Y/n', Evie calls out to her again, but she doesn't respond and keeps staring out in space, and I know she's deep in thought about the mission that'll happen in the next few days and the thought of what she'll end up losing.
The last thing I remember from being captured and tortured by Hydra was that they showed me a video of Evie's shop blowing up and all my will to survive and keep going disappeared because I saw the two most important people die in that cafe and I let go of my will to live, which made them have an easy excess to my mind and how they could take control of me.
'Y/n', Steve tries this time but she's still in her own head.
'Y/n', Nat and Wanda say this time but there's no response.
'Y/n', Bucky tries but nothing.
'Y/n', I try this time and when we don't get anything, Bucky tries again, 'Doll', he mutters and she blinks and turns her head to Bucky and then stares at us.
'Y/n', Evie says and then she moves her eyes to her and clears her throat a little, 'yeah, what's up', she asks and Evie slides into the seat next to her.
'Where did you go', Evie questions.
'Umm, nowhere, I was just', she sighs, 'thinking', she adds.
'What about', Evie asks again and she shakes her head, 'nothing, did you need something', she says and Evie just stares at her.
'You carry around the weight of the world', she states, 'don't you think it's exhausting', she asks, 'I think it'd be exhausting', she says.
'What do you want me to say Evie', my past self asks this time, 'I've made peace a long time ago, so please, I don't want to talk about it', she adds.
'Peace about what', she asks and my past self sighs, 'nothing, please just leave it alone', she asks again and Evie sighs this time.
'I hate when you keep secrets from me', she tells her and my past self looks at her, 'I'm not, I just... it's about the mission okay', she tells her and Evie stares back at her, 'you'll be fine, Oscar will be with you', she tells her.
'I know', she says and gives her a sad smile, 'your right I will be', she adds and Evie smiles at her.
'Hey, how about we make our favourite grub', my past self asks Evie and she stares at her again 'really', she says, surprised, 'you never eat heavy food', she says, 'unless it's a special occasion or a cheat day, and even if it's that, then you always pick doughnuts', she adds and my past self smiles, 'I'm feeling spontaneous epic and I want all our favourites', she asks and Evie's more then surprised.
'Are you on drugs', she questions and my past self looks at her like she's lost her mind, 'don't be ridiculous', she tells her, 'I don't touch the stuff', she adds.
'Fine, then your catching a fever', Evie says and puts her hand on her forehead, 'I'm not sick', she tells her, 'if your not going to help, I'll make it myself', she says.
'That's not happening, you almost burnt down the kitchen last time, so I'll supervise', she says and we're laughing.
________
The radio was on full blast, so all the various songs that came on, filled the cabin and I watch my past self laugh when Grace dances with Evie around the cabin and watches them spin around until she has a sad smile on her face again and sighs to herself.
'You okay Y/n', Steve asks her and she looks over at him, then nods, 'I'm okay', she confirms with a sigh and then looks at Grace and Evie again like she's committing them to memory.
She's then looking at me and I already know the question on her mind, but I let her say it, 'do we get to see them again', she asks and my mouth is involuntarily shut, because I didn't know what to say to her, so I shake my head as a response and she sighs.
'Right, of course not', she says and then looks back at them when the timer goes off, 'everything's ready', Evie says and puts Grace down on the seat, 'I'll help', my past self says and even though no one can see it, I can see how upset she is.
'We'll help too', Wanda says and we're all out of our seats and helping with putting all the food out.
When we've put the last of it on the table, we turn our attention to my past self who had dropped a plate and we notice her shaking hands, 'I'm sorry, I'll clean it up', she tells us and then crouches down and picks up the pieces.
When she's done, she joins us at the table and puts a plate out for all of us whilst Evie, Wanda and Steve help fix everyone a plate.
'This is incredible and so delicious', Wanda says and Evie laughs, 'thank you, I'm glad you like it', she says and we begin to eat.
'Y/n', Evie calls out to my past self who hadn't started to eat, but kept staring at her food, 'aren't you eating', she asks and my past self shakes her head, 'I've uhm...', she starts, 'I've lost my appetite', she says and we just stare at her whilst she puts her fork down, 'I think I need to be alone for a while', she says next and when she stands from her seat, Evie grabs her hand.
'What's wrong', she asks and looks at her, 'I just need some air and some time to myself, so please, leave me alone', she asks and moves her hand out of Evie's grip and walks out.
'Where is she going', Grace asks Evie and she looks at her, 'she'll be back, just give her a minute', she tells her and Grace is the next to put her utensils down, 'I'm not eatin without her', she says and we're all looking at each other again.
'Let's go talk to her', Bucky suggests and the team is agreeing with him.
________
*Steve POV*
We walked about an hour until we found a clearing deep in the woods and I'm the next to see Y/n sitting on a fallen tree trunk and just staring out.
'Let me talk to her first', I tell everyone and then walk over, because I know how Y/n likes our conversations when we're alone and by that I mean her sitting by her favourite spot at the compound and we talk.
When I neared, I sit beside her and she looks at me, 'I'm guessing Evie told you where I was', she says and I shake my head and smile, 'it was actually Grace', I tell her and notice the small smile on her face.
'She's a good kid, you should be proud of her', I said and she only nods, 'I am', she says and sighs, 'no point in looking forward in anything now though, Hydra has taken so much from me, I thought maybe I could see my family again when this is all over, but I guess not', she adds and looks back at her hands.
'Y/n didn't say you wouldn't see all your family', I say and her eyes meet mine, 'really', she says and I smile, 'really', I said.
'But what about Evie and Grace', she asks and I'm the one to sigh this time, because I know I shouldn't be telling her this, but I couldn't help withholding the truth from her, our friendship isn't based on lies and we both like it that way.
'I'm sorry, but during everything, you don't get to see them again', I tell her and she's sad again, 'they're everything to me, so what's the point in fighting and staying alive when I give myself...', she stops herself, but I already know the secrets she's keeping from her family and friends and how she's going to give herself up for the price of every agent fighting under her, the mission won't go well due to a tip off and as a last resort Y/n sacrifice herself for everyone.
'I know', I said and she looks at me, 'you are the most bravest and selfless person I have ever met Y/n', I tell her because she is, 'you sacrificed so much, for everyone's freedom and that act alone, is one of your biggest traits', I said, 'you've been through hell and still come back on top Y/n, and even though you've lost the most, you still walk through everyday and keep going', I add, because she does and if it was someone else in her position, they would never have survived the way she did to get herself where she is now, well in the future.
'You say that like you know me so well', she says and I nod and smile again, 'your one of the closest best friends I have', I say, 'so I know you pretty well', I add.
'He's one of those annoying friends you can't kill but it's fun to imagine hurting him', we heard Y/n say behind us and I laugh to myself, because I know she doesn't mean that, and loves her jokes.
When she takes a seat beside her past self, she smiles at her, 'you know, we missed a lot of fun things to do when we we're working with Hydra', she says, 'and the only time we do get time to ourselves is when we have some fun with Grace and Evie and Oscar and everyone else, so seeing as it'll be the last mission for you, you could spend the time doing whatever you wanted, or whatever fun you wanted', she suggest and her past self stares back at her and shakes her head.
'I don't really have anything fun I want to do, and I don't really have a lot of thought about it', she says.
'How about you start at the top of the list and we can go from there', I said.
'I just...', she starts, 'wanted one good meal before I'm gone and I can be with the people I love', she adds.
'Well how about we go back and have that meal', Y/n suggests, 'and then we can do the next thing on your list', she says and her past self nods.
'You okay', we heard Evie say and see her stood in front of us with everyone else, 'I'm perfectly okay', she replies and Evie smiles at her and then hugs her, 'Evie', she warns again.
'Don't act like you don't love my hugs', Evie tells her and she rolls her eyes whilst we laugh and Grace joins there hug too.
'Group hug', Y/n said, then hug all three of them, 'Y/n, get off', her past self tells her and she looks at her, 'make me', she challenges and we're all laughing.
*End of POV*
________
The meal was amazing and really delicious that every last bite was gone and enjoyed.
Now we we're following my past self out whilst she carried a wooden box out and I see the excitement in her eyes.
'What are we doing', Nat asks her when she sets the box down in a safe spot, 'fireworks', she replies and begins to hand us all tall yellow sticks, 'really you want to do fireworks', Evie asks and she nods, 'yep, it'll be fun', she says, 'and it's dark enough too', she adds and lights a stick for all of us.
Then we're lighting then up and point them in the air, where sparks of fireworks fly up and explode into the night sky, with vibrant colours and I hear Grace laugh with my past self whilst she's on her shoulders.
'Look pink', she says with so much happiness and I smile as I watch her excitement.
'Now watch', my past self says when all the sparks have ran out and she hands Grace over to Evie then walks over to the box and arranges a few things.
'Fire in the whole', she says whilst she comes running back over to us and then there's a huge blast of fireworks going over where and sparking down us that we're laughing.
I then feel Bucky's arm snake around my waist and I look up at him when he leans down and kisses the corner of my lips, but I grab his shirt, pull him down to me and kiss him, which makes him chuckle against me and holds me closer.
'Eww', I heard Grace when I pull away from Bucky and laugh when I look over at her and see my past self stare at us too whilst the rest were preoccupied with the firework display.
________
It had been a couple of hour's when we made the decision to leave and head back, but I couldn't find it in myself to leave the two people in this world I chose to love and let them die, I had to go through watching them die the first time and I don't think I'd be able to do that again.
'I'm going to stay', I tell Bucky first and watch his eyes follow to my own, 'you guys go back but I just...', I start and sigh when I look at Evie and Grace, 'need to be with them', I add and look back at Bucky when he squeezes my hand, 'I'll stay too', he tells me and I'm surprised, but shake my head no and when I open my mouth to say something, he interrupts, 'we're a team remember', he says, clutching to my hand, 'wherever you go, I go, I'm never leaving your side', he adds and I sigh, 'your so stubborn', I mutter and notice his chuckle
'What about everyone else', I ask and before he could respond to the question, our attention is drawn to my past self who suddenly appears from somewhere, 'hello', she says and it draws Evie's attention, 'your back', she says full of excitement and notice the worry that was etched in her brows moments ago, faded away the moment she saw her.
'I was so worried, I thought...', Evie begins when she takes a seat beside her and when she moves her hand to her cheek, it goes right through the hologram and we're all surprised whilst Evie takes back her hand, 'I don't know how this works', my past self breaks the silence, 'I gave pacific instructions to Drift, on how well to protect you guys from the outside world, and he's going to follow it through', she explains, 'I wanted to see you guys one last time, I just didn't know how until Drift gave me this option and I took it', she says and we watch a sad smile play on her face.
'Is this a recording', Evie asks and my past self shakes her head, 'no, I'm here in real time', she replies, 'I only have a few moments until I need to get back', she says.
'What happened', Evie asks and the worry is back on her face, 'nothing you need to worry about', my past self responds with a weak smile and sighs to herself when she stares down at her hands for a moment, 'Y/n', Evie draws her attention back to her, 'what did you do', she asks.
'Something kinda dumb', she admits, 'but it's okay, I promise you that', she adds and rests one of her hands on top of Evie's, 'I had an insurance policy just in case, so I'm hoping Drift will follow that through', she explains and when it's silent for a moment, there's a small whimper in Evie when she speaks again, 'where are you, I'll come find you, tell me where you are', she asks and then rambled but my past self shakes her head.
'Evie', she stops her, 'don't', she says and they're both staring at each other like the world doesn't matter and I know how much Evie needs this right now, 'I'm doing what I think is right, and it's okay, I made a choice and now I'm going to follow it through on my own', she starts and looks at her hand where it's joined with Evie's, 'don't worry about me', she says.
'I always worry about you', Evie whispers and a single tear runs down her cheek whilst my past self lips perk up into a tiny smile, 'I know', she mutters, 'but just know that wherever I am, I'm going to be okay, and you will be too', she adds and Evie gives her a small nod that I know she's trying to be brave right now, but I know how much this is going to break her, 'always remind yourself Evie, that you are loved, no matter what', she says and let's the tears run her cheeks.
'I love you too', Evie says in a small cry and it's then there forehead meets, 'it's you and me V, always'.
'And forever', Evie mutters and finishes which earns her a small laugh, 'your in charge now Evie, Make sure no one does anything stupid, especially Oscar', she says when they move apart.
'He's going to cause a war', Evie sniffles.
'Which is why your going to be in charge and get them to see reason', she tells her but Evie shakes her head, 'I don't know how', she admits.
'Yes you do, I believe in you Evie, your meant for so much more, which is why I'm giving up my mantle to you, make the family proud, lead our family, and always remember', she says and points to Evie's chest where her heart is, 'I'll always be in your heart', she adds and Evie's weeping again.
'I can't do this', she whispers, 'please come back to me', she adds and my past self moves her hand to her cheek, and even though Evie can't feel her, my past self still does it, just to show her it's going to be okay, even when it's not.
'I don't know when or where, but I promise you I will see you again', she says to her, but Evie only cries, 'you promised to never leave us', she whimpers.
'I know and for that I'm sorry', my past self replies and gives her a warm smile until her eyes move over to Grace, who had come out from one of the back rooms and comes skipping over with a smile so bright, it breaks me that I'm going to be responsible for her cries during the night.
'I've done all my how-work', she says whilst sitting on the table that was in the middle of us and my past self, 'I want my cookie now', she says and it earns her a laugh, 'I'll give you all the cookies in the world', she says and Grace giggles this time until she tries to wrap her arms around her and hug her but doesn't succeed seeing as she went right through the hologram until she leaned back again.
'What happen', she asks and tries to reach and touch her again, 'I'm not here', my past self replies, 'remember the time I told you I might be gone for a long while', she says and Grace nods.
I remember preparing Grace for my departure, I didn't know when it would happen or when I'd give myself up to Hydra to protect everyone I have under my protection, but I prepped Grace because I knew she would take it the hardest and now that she thinks of me more then a guardian, she's going to find it even more hard and I know it will be for my past self too.
'Where are you going', she asks with a cry to her voice, 'A long, long way away', she replies and run's her hand on her cheek, 'I want to come too, please let me come', she pleads and my past self is shaking her head and then sighs, 'It's not that kind of place, I don't know when I'll be coming back to you guys, but when I return to you, I'll give you the biggest hug', she states, a promise to her voice whilst we stare at her.
'I have a secret', my past self tells her in slow even breaths, but Grace is in no mood to guess right now, so my past self tells her anyway, 'that you were the bravest and the most selfless little girl in the whole wide world', she tells her and it bring tears to weld in Graces eyes.
'You promised you wouldn't leave me', Grace says with tears on her cheeks and I watch her give her a warm smile, 'I know', she whispers, 'I've never broken a promise but this one I have to, but one day I'll come back to you', she says and Grace is crying.
'I don't want you to go anywhere, I want you to stay', she says and then tries to hugs her, 'I'm sorry little one, I don't want to disappoint you, but I need to do this, to protect you, but everything will be okay', she says.
'No it's not', Grace says with a pained whimper to her voice, 'I'm sorry', she says and pulls away, 'But I'll find my way back to you, I promise', she says and Grace is looking up at her through her wet lashes.
'And then we run away', she says and I watch myself laugh a little, 'where will we go', she asks, her voice becoming stained and as painful as Grace's but she kept her composure, 'somewhere with the tallest mounts', she suggests and my past self is beaming at her, 'A few fields' she continues.
'Wild flowers', my past self interrupts, 'A couple of Cow's', she continues, 'and a Lake', she adds.
'And a big Lake', Grace repeats and she laughs and hugs her again, 'Behave little one, remember, I can always see where you are', she says and Grace is already nodding and crying again, I don't want to leave her, but I have to, to protect the future and everything else.
When she pulls away, she gives a small peck on her cheeks, then looks at the pair, 'look after each other okay', she tells them and before she disappears, Steve stops her, 'Y/n, tell us where you are, we'll help you', he says but she only shakes her head, 'that's not necessary, besides you guys explained the rules enough for me to understand that nothing can change here', she says and then smiles, 'I'll see you guys soon then', she says her goodbye to us and then looks back at the pair for a long moment, like she's committing them to memory, 'I love you guys', she says and before they could respond, she disappears.