I apologize for the lack of updates! Work as been crazy and I've been out of town for the last month. I'm trying to update as much as I can!
The weekend came around and the week finally came to an end.
Lucas texted me during the week, telling me about this weekend. I was a little excited, probably to get away from the house and do something a little more exciting then go to work and come home.
I told Kate about that and she said that it was fine. I asked her if she needed help with Asher or Sophia, but she shook her head and said Mason would be home.
Sometimes I cancel plans to help my sister out and that's why I never go anywhere cause I feel bad about leaving my sister with everything while Mason works.
Once, my coworkers invited me to go out one night to celebrate one of their birthdays but I denied cause Kate was pregnant with Sophia and she was about thirty three weeks pregnant, so she was having a hard time doing anything herself.
My life always revolved around taking care of everyone else around me, so I never really did have a life.
Of course, I'm not complaining.
I took care of my mom until she passed, and was there with my dad until he passed away.
But I'm always taking care of people I love and that was my life.
Always.
When Saturday came around, I was awake by nine and ready for Lucas to come get me. I was excited about today and Kate saw that throughout the week.
She asked me, "Why don't you go out and enjoy life?"
That made me shrug cause I didn't have an answer.
Kate was always worried about me and I could see it in her eyes. I try to tell her that I'm fine but we both knew that was a lie.
I try to enjoy the little things as much as I could but something always takes that away from me.
Not sure what.
Kate was feeding Sophia as I was sitting on the arm of the chair, waiting for Lucas. I look over at her as she was leaning back against the couch and watching tv.
As I was looking at her, she looks over at me before slightly smiling. "What?"
"Nothing." I shrug before looking down at my phone.
After a few minutes, Lucas texts me to tell me he was outside. I stood up before looking at Kate, who was looking over at me.
"Lucas is here."
"Have fun." She smiles.
After I walk out of the living room, I grabbed my bag from the entrance then walk out of the front door. I saw Lucas sitting in the driveway as I was shutting the door behind me.
As I got into the car, Lucas smiles at me as I toss my bag in the backseat. I watch as we left the driveway and I buckled my seat belt as Lucas turns down the stereo.
"You ready to swim?" He asks.
"Hell yeah. It's too damn hot." I complained as I look out of the window. I hated this weather and it was getting hotter everyday.
Summer time was the worse.
The ride there was full of us talking about this summer and our plans. I told him that I was working all summer and he said that he wanted to spend more time together.
As we pull into the parking lot of the swimming place, I saw Lucas look around before smiling when he saw his parents.
We got out and I grabbed my bag from the back seat as Lucas was walking towards his parents. I joined him and they greeted me before walking towards the entrance and I was trailing behind.
Once we were inside, paid and got through the crowds, I look around at how packed this place was. I couldn't keep my eyes off of the girls here though and I was already dreading it.
When I'm out in public, I can't seem to keep my eyes off of the girls around me. I don't like sharing my sexuality with the world cause of past events that made me not want to let everyone know I'm gay.
So, it's hard for me to be out in public cause my eyes wander around.
Lucas looks at me before smiling and motioning with his head to follow him. I did as his parents were walking somewhere else and we rounded the pool before stopping near chairs.
"I'm ready to jump in." He said.
"Me too." I said as I look around. I notice a small little bar area that was a few feet away and I smiled before looking back at Lucas. "I'm going to grab a drink. You want something?"
At this time I took my shirt off and revealed my bathing suit top. I was in shorts but I wasn't about to strip until I was ready to get in the pool.
Lucas looks over at the bar before shrugging. "Maybe later. Are you getting alcohol?" He looks back at me.
When he asked that, I knew getting alcohol wasn't the best idea cause of his parents. They were church people and against drinking, so I had to keep that in mind when I'm out with them.
I shook my head. "No."
He slightly smiles, apoligizing for that but I shrug it off before walking towards the bar.
I'm not a huge alcohol fan but I seem to enjoy it to make myself relax. I usually don't drink it a lot but it seems to help me in ways that people don't understand.
If someone could step into my shoes then they'd understand everything a little better.
As I stood at the bar, I look around at the menu to see what drinks they had. I couldn't think about what I wanted to drink but I had to come up with an answer fast cause I was now first in line.
"What can I get you?" The boy behind the counter smiles at me.
"Can I just get a virgin pina colada?" I ask.
He nods before smiling and turns away to make my drink. I had my wallet in my back pocket and I placed it on the counter, waiting to pay whatever price.
When he comes back, he hands me that drink and smiles at me before saying it was on the house. I gave him a confused look before thanking him and grabbing my drink.
My wallet went back to my back pocket as I took a sip from the straw and walked away. I looked around at everyone as there were kids running around with their parents laying on the chairs.
It was extremely hot today but this drink was doing the trick into keeping me cool.
As I was looking around, my eyes were not in front of me but it was too late to react when my leg hit something and I stumbled forward before catching myself.
Thankfully, I didn't fall.
But when I stood up and looked back at what made me stumble, my whole body feel into limp mode as the woman staring back at me was the same woman in the wheelchair at the hospital.
"I'm sorry." I said, again and I felt like this was getting too weird for me. I ran into this woman more times that I'd liked to and I felt like shit every single time.
She continues to look at me, making me feel even more shittier now and I didn't know what else to say.
"It's fine." She spoke, which made me feel bad cause her voice was small and gentle.
Then I saw her eyes glance down at my body for a split second before reaching my eyes.
"I-"
Before I could finish the sentence, I saw that other woman walking towards us and she didn't look too happy.
I took a step back as she approached us before stopping and looking at that woman then back at me.
"What is your problem?" She asks as she hands that woman a drink before looking at me.
"Nothing." I said as I looked between them. "Sorry-"
"Why are you always running into us?"
"I don't know?" I question. "It's not like I'm doing it intentionally."
That woman looks me over before turning her attention to that woman. I watch them for a moment before seeing her turning around back towards me.
"Leave us alone. I'll get security."
"Listen-"
"No, you listen,"
Before she could finish, I saw that woman in the wheelchair grab her arm. I saw that woman look towards her then that woman made eye contact with me.
"It's ok." She spoke quietly.
That woman looks back at me before rolling her eyes. "Just go." I saw her turn around then that woman in the wheelchair slightly smiles at me, which made me nod and turn around.
I walk back towards the pool and found Lucas sitting at the edge. He had his feet in the water and I sat down before sighing as I took a sip from my drink that never did spill.
"What took you so long?" He asks.
"Just.. a line of people." I shrug before setting my drink down and looked around at everyone.
Now that I knew that woman was here, I felt a little weird about everything. I tried not looking around, looking for her but it was a little hard cause I couldn't control my eyes.
Lucas was already in the pool after a few minutes and he was telling me to come in. I eventually slide in, which felt amazing cause it was too damn hot outside and the cool water felt so good.
As I was enjoying myself, I look around then saw that woman. She was sitting in the wheelchair, looking around and I felt bad for her but also I was curious as to why she was in the wheelchair.
Her eyes held so much pain in them, and I caught that the last few times I ran into her. I could see so much in them and it peaked my curiousity, which shouldn't but it did.
As I was staring at her, I noticed that she was looking around. I kept my eyes on her before seeing her look over at me and I quickly hid underwater.
I came back up before turning around and facing the other way, but I knew she caught me staring. I look around for Lucas and saw him swimming around as I was being a creep.
We continued to swim for a while until all the kids were starting to bother us. I almost drowned one cause they wouldn't leave me alone and I had to get out as soon as possible before I did.
Lucas grabbed some towels for us before handing me one as we were sitting on the edge of the pool. I thanked him before drying myself off and looking around at everyone.
My eyes landed on that woman as she was reading a book and when I looked closer, I noticed it was a bible. I furrowed my eyebrows before looking back over at Lucas as he was looking around also.
My mind couldn't stop my eyes from looking over there and it was getting ridiculous at this point.
His parents came over and gave us money for food, which I told them that I had my own money but they insisted.
We got up and walked to the bar to grab some food before walking back and sitting down where we were.
It was nice to hang out with Lucas since he's still in school and I have work. I don't get to hang with him as much as I did when I was in high school.
Lucas is always saying how he's ready to graduate high school but I told him that he's going to regret saying that cause I wish I was back in school.
The adult life sucks and I hate every minute of it.
If I could go back, I would but I'm stuck in this adult life now.
As we were both eating, I saw Lucas spill mustard on his chest before making a face. "I'll be back." He placed the food container down before getting up and walking away.
Sitting there, I kept looking around at everyone and seeing kids jump into the pools while their parents stayed on the chairs and that made me miss my parents even more.
Being around everyone that has a family makes me envy them a little more. I usually don't like going out in public cause of that and it makes me want to stay inside and not be around anyone.
But I've grown to be ok with it, so I don't hide away anymore.
I look around a little more before seeing that woman again and I watch her for a moment as she was talking to that other woman, who was standing next to her.
As I was watching them, it occurred to me that I couldn't understand why I was always running into this woman ever since that day at the hospital.
That was a week ago and I thought I was done seeing her.
My eyes were on her as I was watching her and I made the mistake of not looking away in time when she looks over and catches my eye.
I finally did look away and saw Lucas walking over and sitting down.
We continued to enjoy the sunshine and I kept my eyes away from that woman as best as I could.
We swam a little more after a while and just chilled as everyone aroun us was running around. I floated in the water a few times as all the kids were trying to jump on me, so I had to get out of the pool.
When it came to an end, I wasn't happy about it cause it was my first real day away from everything since Kate has been pregnant.
It seems as though my eyes kept wandering to that woman the whole time I was at the pool and she was looking at me at the same time, which made me feel like an idiot every time I would look over.
Lucas asked what was wrong at one point but I said it was getting hot and sunburn was already forming in places, so he left the conversation alone.
As we were getting ready to leave, I caught that woman watching me this time. I saw her eyes glued to me as I was walking with Lucas and his parents out of the pool area.
My mind stayed on her throughout the time we left and on the way home. I heard Lucas ask what was wrong but I shook my head and thoughts away as I shrugged before leaning back into the seat.
The sun drained me and we stayed there for about five hours.
"Let's go out eat tonight." Lucas said as he pulls into the driveway. "I'll come get you when I get a shower and ready."
"Sounds good." I smile as I got out and grabbed my bag. I waved at him before shutting the door and walking towards the front door.
Mason was home when I walked in and I heard his voice in the kitchen. I peeked my head into the kitchen and smiled at him before walking to the living room where Kate was at.
"How as your day?" She asks.
"It was fun. I'm going out with Lucas in a few hours so I'm going to get ready."
She nods before smiling at me. "Have fun. I love you."
"Love you." I said before walking out and downstairs to my room. I tossed my bag on the floor before grabbing everything I needed for a shower.
I took a hot shower and felt better as I got all the clorine off of my skin from the pool. I got out after I was done and stayed in my room after I got dressed.
As I was sitting on my bed, I thought back to that woman and groaned as I flopped back on the bed. I laid there and shook my head as I stared at the ceiling, wondering why I kept thinking about her.
I couldn't understand why I was running into her constantly. I looked over at my clock on the table and saw the time before shutting my eyes and sighing.
That woman was still very much on my mind and I feared she would stay there.