How selfish would I be if I just decided to leave?
---
It is very hard to let go of someone you truly love.
And letting go is a painful decision.
But do you know what's even harder and also hurts the most?
When you still loved that person and your feelings for them haven't changed but you choose to let go.
Because you think it is the only way that you will do for them and for that person's sake.
---
8:00 PM
Tzuyu's POV
"Sana..."
"W~what are you doing here?".
I was surprised by her sudden appearance. I didn't expect her to come here since it's quite late now. Our eyes met and suddenly I forgot how to breathe.
I always adore her light brown gorgeous eyes. She had a galaxy in her eyes. Only pure innocence and contentment. But this time, it's different. It sang stories with sad endings.
Her eyes....
Its sparks and brilliance were all gone.
She looked pale and weary.
Her eyes were swollen as if she had just finished crying.
Am I the one who did this to her?
I pressed my eyes for realizing the foolishness of asking this question in my mind. Of course, I am the one to blame of. Who else would it be?
It was all my fault, obviously.
"Can we talk?", she weakly said.
I gave way and Sana entered without hesitation. I saw how she quickly averted her eyes from me. And it's really painful to watch her this way. I immediately followed her to the living room. She was now sitting there. Not taking her eyes off me.
"Wait for me here. I'll just get you a drink–."
"No. You sit here. This won't take long. I just came here to talk to you", she seriously said.
A cold and blank expression was written all over her face. I obey her and sat on the other couch near her. There was a moment of silence before I dared to speak. Fidgeting my fingers on my lap; I breathed deeply then I raised my head and looked at her.
"What do you want to talk about?", I asked her.
My eyes widened when I saw a liquid forming in the corner of her eyes. Her tears are about to escape and at any moment will flow down her cheeks.
And here I am, just looking at her with mixed emotions.
"You think I don't care? I watched you give up on me. I watched you give me those slow dry replies. I watched you talk to me less every day. I watched you giving me the silent treatment and slowly lost interest in me. As if you want to walk out of my life. You think all of it didn't hurt me?!".
I just remain silent and keep listening to her. Allowing her to say whatever she wanted.
"Something has changed in you...toward me. You're distant, cold. I don't know what I've done but I'll leave you alone from now on if that's what you want. I will give you space. I will give you time to think and to figure things out."
Tears slowly fell on her cheeks, which she quickly wiped away.
"You know why I'd leave you alone?"
"Cause I care about your feelings more than mine. I love you."
Everything she said struck me in my chest causing an unexplainable pain towards me. God knows how much effort I am trying to do just to hold back my tears. Not to look fragile in front of her and pretend that I didn't care at all. Without looking at her, I stood up from my seat and said, "Do you have anything more to say? If nothing else you can go home now and rest".
I hear her sigh in disbelief. It means this is not what she wanted to hear from me.
"Stop this already..."
Sana approach me and held my arm; pulling me closer to her and then she cupped my cheeks so I could face her.
"W~what are you saying?! This is not what I meant." Her voice cracked up.
"Didn't you hear what I said?". I grabbed her hands and tried to get away from her but she was persistent.
"I said stop now. Stop this already! Is it clear now?!". I said emphatically to her.
"What do you mean stop?! Why are you being like this?". Her voice was shaking and I could feel her hands trembling. I removed her grip on me and stares at her with remorse.
"Let's end it here. What is between us now....Sana, this isn't working anymore."
I swallowed a lump as I said those words. I felt the pain in my throat.
She began sobbing. She touched both my cheeks and forced me to look at her.
"You don't know what are you talking about. Tzuyu, Please looked at me in the eyes and tell me what you are saying is not true", she begged.
"Sana, let's just break up. What I feel for you isn't love. This is just an infatuation. And I want to be honest with you. I'm in love with someone else. I'm sorry. I'm a horrible person."
It's a lie.
I have nothing else but you.
It is always you. Just only you here in my heart.
"So is it the girl from the last time? The girl who came here after we fight. I saw it clearly. I saw how she kissed and hugged you. My eyes saw everything on that day."
Irene Unnie....
She's talking about Unnie.
Sana slowly removed her touch from my face. She then backed away with disbelief written all over her face. She now looked like a mess. But then she brushed up and fixed her hair using her finger.
"I thought I just misunderstood everything. All I know is that this happened to us because we are so much busy that we hadn't enough time for each other. But it turns out that my instinct was right."
"I'm sorry. I should have told you this".
"When did it happen? How long have you cheated on me?"
"A month ago." I slightly bow my head and looked down. Wanting to avoid having eye contact with her.
"Do you remember that night why I came late to your concert? Is it because I'm with her and something happened between us. We had se–.
Another lie.
I was being cut off when Sana gave me a hard slap on my face while she was sobbing uncontrollably.
"At the very beginning, I told you that I'm already tied up with my career. I clearly explained everything to you. But you tried so I gave you the chance. Even we're not sure of what possibly happened to us. We take the risk. We find a way to work this out! And then what?! You just wasted it all. Everything!".
"How could you do this to me?!". Her voice echoed throughout the place. She was mad but she was still hurt.
Little by little, my knees got weaker. I knelt in front of her as I surrender. I quickly wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her tight.
I can't take this anymore. Everything is just falling apart now. Seeing her hurt. Knowing that I am the reason of her pain. I just couldn't stand it.
"I'm sorry. That's why I'm apologizing to you now because I know I'm wrong. I know I caused so much pain to you." The tears I was holding back, slowly fell down my cheeks.
"Let go of me!!!", She cried out. Trying to keep me away from her. And now, she managed to push me away.
"Do you think I won't be hurt because you admitted your mistake? That's because I found out everything I'll just cry after...Then I will go to sleep and when I wake up the next day, I will forget everything?". She stops for a while to breathe. And after that, she continued talking to me.
"You know what? That's what I want. How I wish it would happen, but it's not. It will never happen because it's not that easy for me!"
"My brain can't stop thinking about why you suddenly changed toward me. I did everything. I always make sure I give you enough time and you know that. I was forced to answer all the questions even though I couldn't find the answer why?!! Why did you do this to me?! Am I still not enough for you? Is there something wrong with me? Can't I give you satisfaction and everything you need?!".
"Answer me!!!"
"Noo.."
"You're the only one I want. You're all I ever need. Sana, you are everything to me..", I whisperingly said to her.
After I said that, Sana fell to her knees and broke down. Her eyes were all red and swollen from crying so much. I rushed over to her and locked her in my arms.
"Then why?!! Why you cheated on me?!". She gave a little whimper of protest and repeatedly hit me on my chest. I didn't stop her and just let her hurt me.
"I trusted you, Tzuyu. It's because you promised. You promised not to hurt me! You promised to love me with all your heart! That I will be the only one. You promise me.....But why???!".
She didn't speak anymore. Only her sobs were the only noise that could be heard all over the place. Suddenly, the door opened. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung came back.
"Tzuyah! Are you still awake? I forgot my phone—." Chaeyoung didn't finish what she had to say after she saw us like this— a complete mess.
"Yah! What's happening here?!", Jeongyeon asked with concern in her voice.
Sana and I still stayed like this. We didn't move or speak. But these two were still stunned. Trying to figure out what was happening.
My gaze went to Sana and she already wiping her tears. Afterward, she stood up and stay still for a few seconds to ask me again some questions to clear things up.
"What did you say that?".
"Say what?". I quickly responded.
"That you loved me."
"Because I did."
"Then why did you do that and chose to break up with me?".
"It was too much."
"What was too much? Our relationship?".
"You."
"How—"
"Because I don't deserve you, Sana," I said to her while staring at her face. Making the most of the time and the chance because this will be the last time I'm going to see her again.
She was also looking at me, still wearing that cold expression. But she gave me a half-smile and she said...
"It's a good thing that you broke up with me. Thank you for making me realize that you're not worthy of my love."
She hurriedly walked away from me. She suddenly disappeared from my sight. After all, it is all my fault. So there was nothing I could do but let her go.
The first time I ever saw you.
I remember...
It only took us 30 seconds to meet unexpectedly. It just happened quickly but it feels like forever. It was so fast but I will not forget every single detail of that very moment we shared.
And that night, I was glad that my path leads me the way to you.
But I lost everything now.
I lost you.
The person I loved the most is gone.
Just how fast our fate brought us together.
---
"Hey, Sana! What happened? Wait!", Jeongyeon followed and chased Sana out of the house. But the blonde girl simply refused to talk to her and quickly get in the car. Sana drove away and left Jeongyeon cluelessly standing there outside. She was worried about Sana. Without hesitation, she took out her phone and called Jihyo to inform her about Sana. After that, she goes back inside to talk with her friend.
Meanwhile, Chaeyoung goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water for Tzuyu.
"Yah! Here. Drink this and tell us what happened", Chaeyoung handed the glass of water to Tzuyu. She sat down on the floor beside the tall girl. A few minutes, there is Jeongyeon who just got back and also sits in front of Tzuyu who was currently spacing out and still crying.
Jeongyeon cupped Tzuyu in both cheeks and made her friend look at her. She then wiped out the tears that were still flowing nonstop.
"Did we mishear that you broke up with Sana?".
"What you guys heard was right. I even lied to Sana that I cheated on her." Tzuyu smiled bitterly.
"Why did you do that?", Jeongyeon wants to know what just happened so she keeps asking a lot of questions to Tzuyu. While Chaeyoung was just leaning back on the couch and keeps listening quietly with the two.
"I'm just making her suffer and I don't want to hurt her anymore. That's why I choose to break up with her".
Jeongyeon take her deepest breath and lay down on the ground. "This is why there are so many failed relationships. If you love each other then breaking up is not the answer. Don't break up. Fix the problem", she gave advice.
"I was the problem", Tzuyu simply answered.
"Then, you have to think about how to fix yourself and talk to Sana. So you two can work on winning each other over again", Chaeyoung meddled with her friends talking.
"Jeong....Chae..."Tzuyu called her friends.
" Hmm?", the two said in unison.
"I have something to tell you, guys. Will you listen to me?". Tzuyu take a deep breath as she finally made up her mind and decided to tell the truth to her friends.
Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung just remain silent and wait for Tzuyu to speak again.
"I'm getting worse."
"Yah! Stop saying that!", Jeongyeon get up and sat back again then she glared at Tzuyu. "How can you say that? You're getting treatment. So stop talking nonsense."
"But what I'm saying is true?".
A moment of silence prevailed over the three of them. And to kill the deafening silence, Chaeyoung spoke.
"How bad is it?", she asked seriously. She wasn't looking at Tzuyu but was staring at the ceiling.
"I have about six months left," Tzuyu answered then she also leaned back on the couch.
"Yah! What do you mean?", Chaeyoung chuckled as she lift the unpleasant mood and then slightly push Tzuyu as if she didn't know what the tall girl had been saying to them.
"To live."
Jeongyeon rushed over to Tzuyu and pulled up the tall girl's shirt with her both hands. "You'd better not be joking...If it is just a prank, I'm going to punch your face. You making us upset! Stop that! You stupid!", she forcibly laughed. But Tzuyu is not joking around with them. At this time, she was dead serious. No more lying. No more secrets. She couldn't take it anymore and kept her situation a secret from the two. So she grabbed this chance for her to tell about it.
"S~so y~you're serious?", Jeongyeon stuttered. She loosened her grip and removed her hands from the tall girl.
Tzuyu nodded and forced to smile in front of her friend who was now on the verge of crying. Then, she heard Chaeyoung begin sobbing that's why she looked to the side. She's now watching her friend crying while continuously wiping those tears escaping from her eyes.
"Aigoo...What will I do now with the two of you? Stop crying. I couldn't stand seeing how ugly your faces are when you two are crying. Come on! Give me a hug!". Tzuyu with tears in her eyes; extended her arms and wide them open while laughing at her friends who now look like a mess. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung rushed over to her and immediately gave the tall girl a warm tight hug.
"Hush now. Everything will be okay". The tall girl said while softly caressing the back of her friends.
"Maybe I made the right choice. It's better to hurt her like this rather than being hurt because she found out that I'm not coming back anymore. I'm going to die soon. I will disappear from the world. So what's the point? It's the only way for her to easily get over me", Tzuyu said in the back of her mind. She went back to trance when Jeongyeon suddenly blow her nose in her shirt.
"Shit!"
"Yah! Get off me! You're fcking gross!", Tzuyu pushed the two and quickly stood up. With a disgusted face, she held her shirt which Jeongyeon messed up. She walked away and headed to her room.
"Yah! Where are you going?", Jeongyeon said while laughing. While the other girl, Chaeyoung lay down on the ground she burst out laughing as well when she saw Tzuyu's reaction. The two girls while in tears couldn't stop themselves from laughing with each other. But that happy moment stopped when they suddenly heard a loud bang coming from Tzuyu's room.
"Yah! What happened there?", Jeongyeon shouted so Tzuyu can hear it.
There's no response.
"Tzuyah!?", Chaeyoung called out, and still no response from the tall girl.
The two become nervous that's why they quickly stood up and went to the room to see what happened. And at that moment, they were suddenly frozen when they saw all the medicines scattered on the floor. Their whole body began to tremble. Their hands are cold and shaking as they felt frightened. Their eyes widened in shock to see Tzuyu was now lying on the floor unconsciously.
"T~Tzuyaahh...".
"Nooooo! Tzuyu!"
The two said in unison as they approached the tall girl with fear and trepidation.
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Sorry, I'm broken that's why. 😂
A vote will do. Thank you and stay safe everyone. ❤️